Season 1, Episode 14.
Geordi *finishes docking ship*
Picard: Thank you, Number One.
Riker *nods like he docked the ship all by himself*
Geordi *turns around* The fuck?
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Oh, ok, Picard thanked everyone and Geordi nodded like, "That's better."
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LOL I thought that was Mirror Picard. Is this guy one of the miners from Mudd's Women?
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Riker scoping out the Bynars.
Maintenance Guy: They are neither male nor female, Commander. They are a unified pair. They are always together.
Riker *lecherous grin*: Always, huh? Sounds like a threesome to me.
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LOL Riker's "Do not know if want" ere narrow as Thing One and Thing Two start finishing each other's sentences.
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LOL OMG PICARD. Most grandpa relaxation plan EVER and it sound exactly like what I do to relax.
"I'm going to my cabin. Gonna turn on my relaxation light (the fuck, like he has a special light he uses JUST for relaxing) and lose myself in the pages of some old novel." *crosses arms with a satisfied sigh* "How about you, Number One?"
Riker: Thing One and Two. At the same time.
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Riker: Something'll turn up. It always does.
*cuts to 2 more Things One and Two joining the original two as Wesley watches*
SOMETHING JUST TURNED UP
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Riker: I thought there were only going to be two of you. i mean it's not like I can't handle four, but a little warning would be nice.
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Aw, Wesley's adoring "Please approve of me" gaze at Riker.
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Riker violating Wes's personal space to whisper that he has the Bridge in his ear. Oh God, Wesley is in charge!
Enterpise:
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Shady ass Thing One and Two.
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OMG Tasha. So cute! Blue looks good on her. Also aww, Worf with her.
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Oh tasha. Basically "RIKER PLEASE JOIN THE GAME I THINK I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU" in that exchange. RIKER Y U NO HANG OUT WITH HER
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Worf is probably going to kill someone on the other team.
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Data: I attempted to paint zylo eggs.
Riker: Is that what those are?
Data: Oh, I'm sorry, Norman Rockwell, did you want to dazzle us all with your painting instead?
Riker: ...MAN I DON'T NEED THIS, PAINTING'S FOR GIRLS *stomps out*
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Wow, Riker, what a douche. Just jealous that no one taught him how to paint. TASHA WOULD IF YOU JUST GIVE HER A CHANCE I mean it would be body paint but still
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Riker: You look like you're packing to leave forever. Just leave Wesley, ok?
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LOL Beverly saying, "He's the leading mind in cybernetics" to Riker like he's a five year old and Riker's "The hell is cybernetics?" frown behind her back.
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No one wants to hang out with Riker because they know what'll happen so he goes to leer at Thing One and Two.
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Thing One and Two: Would you like to try the enhancement?
Riker: Baby, I don't need enhancement. So you guys got sex parts or what? Ah, don't worry, I'll find 'em.
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Riker *looking at Thing One and Two*: Now I'll need someone to play with.
RUN IT'S A TRAP
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Riker being picky as hell about his one woman audience. The hell? Maybe he's trying to fool Thing One and Two into thinking he's a classy guy. Good luck with that
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Thing One and Two hoofing it as they sense Riker and Holo Girl about to do it.
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LOL Wesley still standing there watching the Bynars. I guess he has nothing else to do.
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Picard almost sneering at Wesley. Don't stop the hate, it's hilarious.
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LOL Holo Piano guy checking out Riker.
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Holo Musician: Hey, man, that chick digs you.
Riker: Thanks, Troi.
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Riker: I mean, how far can our relationship go?
Holo Girl: Oh, we can definitely bang.
Riker: Ok, good, 'cause I only prattled on about my job because I though this wasn't going anywhere.
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OH LOL COCKBLOCKNG PICARD
Picard *completely ignoring the chick*: I say, the locale you've chosen is astounding!
Riker: Sir, get OUT, kinda busy here?
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Riker's glazed "There go my chances of getting holo-laid" look at Picard behind Holo Girl's back.
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DATA IS AWAITING INSPIRATION, WESLEY, YOU DON'T INTERRUPT THAT GODDAMN
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Geordi: Wes, don't contact Riker or Picard because Riker is a total tool until after we check it out.
That won't backfire or anything.
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OMG Data taking charge.
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Geordi watching Data act as Captain and wondering if they're gonna get in trouble later.
"I'll just claim it was all Data's idea."
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LOL OMG ANOTHER GUY IN A DRESS
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Everyone watching the ship leave without them.
Tasha: OH GOOD JOB, DATA
Data: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DIE
Tasha: WELL WE'LL DIE FOR SURE HERE. OF BOREDOM
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What a dick move, Enterprise.
Enterprise: LOL BYE *warps away*
Everyone: FOREVER ALONE
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Oh God, what pedo story was Riker telling Holo Girl?
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Riker's pained wince as he says "Yes, please stay."
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Riker: Wait, why can't he leave? MY WESLEY SENSES AREN'T TINGLING SOMETHING'S WRONG
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Computer: All personnel are on Starbase.
Picard: Are we still at the Starbase?
Computer: No.
Riker *whirls and points as Holo Girl*: Succubus! SUCCUBUS!
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Data: Where are the Bynars?
Everyone *looks around and realizes there aren't any*
Data: Well, we know who to beat up now.
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Boss show of Picard and Riker marching in sync to the Weapons Room. Shit 'bout to go down.
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Riker's ass has been jutting out this entire episode. Jesus Christ.
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Oh, auto-destruct again. How novel.
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OH DATA D:
Data: Do you think it was my fault?
Everyone: NOOOOOO NO NO NO NO...(pause) Well...
Data: AT LEAST MY ART DOESN'T JUDGE ME *runs away crying towards his room then realizes he's on the Starbase and just walks around aimlessly crying instead so everyone is uncomfortable*
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Don't stop painting, Data.
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Oh God, the 2 most technologically retarded people are left on the ship. Riker's probably going to break the whole thing.
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LOL Riker snapping at Holo girl because he doesn't understand computers.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW?"
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Getting Data's help with the computer.
Data: Bet you feel pretty humble now, don't you?
Riker: No, not really.
Data: I bet NONE of this would have happened if I had gotten my CAT.
Riker: What's he talking about, sir?
Picard: I don't know, he's a crazy person.
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Oh God, watching these 2 at the computers is nerve-wracking. Something is going to blow up or bluescreen, I just know it.
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Picard: Well, no one was hurt, and we have our ship.
Riker: I'll spank them, sir.
Picard: I don't think that's necessary, Number One.
Riker: Oh, it's very necessary, sir.
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Riker's lingering gaze on Tasha. FFFF YOU TWO
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Riker: You're not Minuet.
Other Holo Girl: Oh, I'll go, then.
Riker: WHOA WHOA WHOA let's not be hasty here.