Transgressions (13/14+Epilogue)
This photo art was given to me some time ago by Tiaral from asianfanfics for any purpose I so choose. ^_^ I choose it as my photo for this fic (that’s why it doesn’t have the name of the fic like all my other posters) but I think it goes with the overall story. Loved it and finally get to use it! THANK YOU TIARAL!
Title: Transgressions
Author jaceni
Pairing: Minjae, minor onesided yunjae appearance, OC pairing
Genre: Angst, Romance, humor, drama, AU
Rating: NC-17 (some parts just PG-16, but since it’s an incest fic I’ve labeled it NC17)
Warning: ACTUAL INCEST(don't say you weren't warned. If this offends you, please don't read.), yaoi, smut, reluctance, Min!seme, Jae!uke, might be unbelievable?, in a world where innocence can be preserved at a later age than today's youth, minors, etc. Corny?, definitely doses of fluffy moments… Oh, and it only really has 2 scenes that could classify as smut scenes or something as close to it as possible. I’ll let you guess at when it happens. XD Think that's it. ^^
Length: Chaptered (13/14+Epilogue)
Beta: enragedsilver
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters of this story or profit from this story. Any similarity to a story already created is accidental. Please let me know if this story is too much like another you might have read, that way I’m aware of it. ^.^ Ya know, there’s only so many plots out there that won’t clash with other stories from other fandoms, so bare that in mind when reading.
Summary: Who said loving your brother like this was bad? Who were they to draw the line to what was good or bad? They'd shared a womb and so much more... so why couldn't they... no, it was wrong. He shouldn't be thinking this...
A/N: Sorry for the delay. Couldn't update yesterday, but here it is. :D See you next weekend for the conclusion of this. Hope you guys enjoy it. ^_^
Previous Chapter
-Chapter 13-
**A week later**
Changmin had managed to avoid Jaejoong during this whole week and couldn’t feel prouder of himself. He tried to repress everything that had happened and didn’t dwell on the sensations and emotions he’d felt during that all too brief encounter he’d had with his brother. It was wrong, how many times did he have to tell himself that before the feeling of right would turn to revulsion? How many times did he have to tell himself that it was wrong for him to actually believe it and act like the brother he knew he was supposed to act like?
It was one thing to want what had just happened, never actually experiencing it in real life, and another completely different to actually do it. That was his main problem. He’d let Jaejoong do that. He was stronger than Jaejoong, yet he’d let Jaejoong manhandle him to get what he wanted and… he shivered, feeling heat creep throughout his body. He had to stop thinking about that precise thing. He didn’t want to give Jaejoong mixed signals. He was his older brother and nothing more. What Jaejoong had done in that state between waking and sleeping had just been a mistake of a tired drunken mind that couldn’t distinguish what was socially acceptable and what wasn’t. It was harder to distinguish fiction from reality in that state. He’s sure Jaejoong just mistook him for some girl he’s been fantasizing about… the fact that he’d called out Changmin’s name meant nothing. He’d probably realized it was Changmin, but had been too out of control and in the moment to actually stop. The sooner Changmin made himself believe that the sooner he could move on from this little bump on the road and try to act as the once more loving older brother that doesn’t take advantage of his younger brother’s delusional states.
Yes, he had to recover from this and behave as he’s done thus far… as only an older sibling taking care of their younger one. He’d once more lock down those unwanted thoughts of what it would be like to have met his brother in another lifetime, of what it would’ve been like to just worry about same gender pairing instead of the whole mess of problems incest brought. Of what it’d be like to just… be.
***
Jaejoong sighed once more. A week had passed and he still couldn't come up with anything to see if Min really loved him or not in the way that he wanted him to love him. Besides that, Min was back to avoiding him whenever he entered a room and they still hadn't talked about what happened that day a week ago. Jaejoong thumped his head on the table and was startled when a hand landed on his back in a harsh thump, causing him to hit his head again but harsher than he had the first time.
"AH! YUNHO!" He whined as he rubbed his back and forehead, attempting to dispel the pain. His classmate finally showed up to their study appointment in the café he was currently in. He'd been waiting for almost 30 minutes to get their project started.
"Sorry Jae, didn't mean to scare you there.” Yunho said as he rubbed gently the place he’d hit. Jaejoong felt only momentarily uncomfortable, but then relax and let the pain be soothed away. “And sorry for being late. I was searching some stuff on my own and didn't notice the time. So, where do we start?" Yunho asked as he sat down, promptly pulling out his laptop and notebook.
Jaejoong was glad for the distraction and began his conversation on where to start their research.
***
Changmin was walking by the transited mall without a destination in mind when the familiar pull of Jaejoong's presence brought him back to his surroundings. Normally it was a buzzing sensation in the back of his mind, but whenever he was closer the buzzing intensified, making them extremely aware of each other. Jaejoong hadn't told him he'd come to the mall today… but that could be because Changmin had been avoiding him all week and wouldn't talk to his sibling for more than a second. It was reasonable the other wouldn’t tell him anything about going to the mall or if he’d want anything. He could feel that Jaejoong was on high spirits and it made him curious what made his brother so happy after all the gloom he’d detected these last couple of days.
As he got closer to where he thought his sibling might be, he was shocked to see him laughing so hard that he had to grab onto his table to not topple over. There was another young man with him and Changmin didn’t like the way he was looking at Jaejoong… or the way his eyes seemed to shine as if proud of himself for having made Jaejoong laugh so hard.
He felt himself frown and couldn’t stop his feet from walking closer to the pair that seemed to be having the time of their lives.
“Stop it Yunnie! Hahahahaha, my-my bladder can’t hahahahaha take hahahaha it!” Jaejoong’s laugh filled voice only made Changmin bristle more.
‘Yunnie?’ He asked himself, not liking at all how his brother had sounded so affectionate towards someone he didn’t know.
“You know you like it Jaejoongie. Don’t- hello there. May I help you?” Yunho said in a serious voice that surprised Changmin. He went from childish to serious in a second and Changmin found the change disconcerting.
*
Jaejoong almost had a heart attack then and there. He’d been too absorbed in laughing that he hadn’t felt his brother’s presence until Yunho addressed someone behind him. Then his presence hit him full force, and the feelings he felt were confusing. His heart rate skyrocketed and he felt nervous all of a sudden. For some reason he felt guilty, but didn’t know why that was. He swallowed saliva with difficulty and found himself glancing from his brother to his friend in a confused state. Why were they looking at each other that way? He’d never, at least not in the short months he’d known him, seen Yunho look that serious before. As if… defending… something? That didn’t make sense. And he’d never seen Changmin look that angry before either, at least not without someone threatening Jaejoong in some way. He felt his throat tighten and couldn’t speak for the life of him.
*
“No. You can’t, but my brother can. Jae, a word.” Changmin said in a voice just as serious, not taking his eyes off of Yunho. He saw as the guy in front of him seem to relax once he said he was Jaejoong’s brother and couldn’t help to narrow his eyes at the action. He didn’t like that reaction one bit and wasn’t about to hide it.
“Oh, cool man. I’m Yunho by the way, nice to meet you.” Yunho extended his hand, but Changmin just ignored him and looked straight at Jaejoong. “Oookaayyy…I’ll just… go buy something to drink. You want anything Jaejoongie?”
The cheerfulness in Yunho’s voice grated in Changmin’s ears and he could feel his anger increasing. Jaejoong must have felt it too because he swallowed hard and managed to shake his head without taking his eyes off of Changmin.
“Or I can just stay here Jaejoongie. Would you like that?” Yunho’s voice was gentle and protective and Changmin’s anger increased. Who did this guy think he was?! What the hell did he think he was going to do to Jaejoong that he’d offer his protection like that!
*
Before Changmin’s anger skyrocketed some more, Jaejoong immediately jumped in. He knew his brother found it offensive that Yunho would think he needed protection from him.
“I’m fine Yunni-Yunho. You can go. This shouldn’t take long.” Jaejoong said in a voice that sounded nervous even to his own ears. He knew that Yunho must think he was afraid of Changmin, but in reality he was nervous to finally be talking to his brother face to face after what had happened. He just never thought he’d be doing it in the middle of so many people or that his brother would deem it necessary to interrupt his study session for it… not that he’d been particularly studious when he’d been found… but that’s beside the point.
Yunho hadn’t even turned around when Changmin grabbed Jaejoong by the arm and hauled him to a secluded corner. Jaejoong’s skin vibrated wherever they touched and he felt himself shiver, heat sizzling in his lower abdomen, his penis giving an interested twitch.
‘Oh dear god, please don’t let me get a hard on here in the middle of so many people,’ he begged internally as he turned a shade of red he’d rather not think about.
It seemed that Changmin didn’t notice since he was too busy looking angrily at Yunho.
“What the hell are you doing here Jaejoong? Who is the guy you almost fell off the table for?”
Changmin’s fierce gaze landed on Jaejoong expectantly and Jaejoong froze.
He stared at Changmin dumbfounded for a moment, without being able to process what his mind was thinking. Changmin couldn’t be… Oh Dear Lord… was Changmin… jealous?
He’d never seen his brother jealous before, but the way his voice sounded and the anger he was emitting was something different from what he’d experienced before. It seemed to be what everyone described as jealousy.
Jaejoong felt a little mischievous and decided to follow the instincts of leaving his brother in the dark about his friend Yunho.
“What do you care Min? You’ve been ignoring me this whole week and out of nowhere you pop out demanding answers that you would’ve had if you’d just talked to me after what happened instead of avoiding me altogether. So why should I tell you who that was? Plus, he’s already told you his name, what more do you want to know?” Jaejoong said, sounding confident all of a sudden. His nervousness retreated and he felt happy again. Changmin can’t go around ignoring him and then acting like he had the right to demand things from him. He mentally nodded and looked Changmin in the eyes even if doing so caused things to stir in unmentionable places.
“What do I… I’m your older brother Jaejoongie.” Jaejoong raised an eyebrow. His brother had practically snarled the word and he couldn’t fathom why. He didn’t think the nickname was that bad. “I have a right to know who my brother might be-” Changmin bit his lip then.
“That your brother what Min?” Jaejoong asked curiously. He really wanted to know the answer to that question. Did Changmin think he was dating Yunho? Didn’t he know that they couldn’t date? Especially with their little problem unresolved? Seriously, when his brother was unreasonable he really was unreasonable.
“Friends with okay! Who you might be friends with! I can tell that guy’s bad news Jae.” Changmin said so surely that Jaejoong was surprised. Yunho didn’t seem like a bad guy and he’d already known him for some months. Why would Min think that of him?
“O-kaaayyy. Based on what do you assume that?” Jaejoong goaded on, a smirk forming on his lips. He wanted to see how his famously witty brother came up with that answer. He didn’t know Yunho, couldn’t possibly know whether he was bad news for him or not.
*
“I-well-he…”Changmin trailed off, mind going blank for a moment. He had no idea what he wanted to tell Jaejoong. He just knew he didn’t like the way this Yunho guy looked at his brother. Was Jaejoong blind or something?
“Let’s put it this way Jae. Are you gay? Because that guy definitely doesn’t look like he wants to be just your friend.” Changmin said abruptly without thinking. He saw Jae’s mouth go slack and a gasp escaped him. They’d never actually talked about their sexual orientation.
Not even once.
As far as Jaejoong knew, Changmin was straight all the way, especially with his dating record before they entered the pact of just not dati- shit! He’d forgotten about that! He wanted to smack his head on something for being so stupid. He’d completely forgotten that they had agreed to not date due to their little problem. And Changmin always assumed his brother was straight… even with those mixed signals he’d gotten whenever they… he mentally shook his head. He wouldn’t think of that in the middle of the mall with so many people around. He could already see Yunho frown at them as he tried not to interrupt them after going back to the table he and Jae had sat on, patiently waiting for Jaejoong to return.
When he turned back to Jaejoong, Jaejoong looked shocked and confused. As if he was collecting facts and piecing them together. He saw as Jaejoong turned towards Yunho, saw Yunho smile brightly at Jaejoong while waving, and promptly clenched his teeth when he noticed a blush begin to spread through his brother’s cheeks.
Changmin DID NOT like that reaction… AT ALL.
Changmin rudely cleared his throat, seeming to snap Jaejoong from whatever the fuck was happening with Yunho, and Jaejoong’s blush only increased to a brighter red. He sensed Jaejoong’s embarrassment and that calmed him a little. At least he couldn’t sense Jaejoong being hot and bothered by this fact. That seemed to calm the gut clenching feeling somewhat. That feeling that couldn’t possibly be jealousy.
*
“T-t-that’s not true Min! He can’t-he’s not-he doesn’t like me that way…” Jaejoong said uncertainly. His lame attempt at seeing whether his brother was really jealous had backfired and instead he got a curve ball thrown at him. It couldn’t be… but it just might be. Yunho had been… different… to how he interacted with his other friends, but he’d just assumed that Yunho was an overall touchy feely guy to start with. He hadn’t minded much. He could count with one hand how many people behaved that way since childhood, yet he wasn’t overwhelmed by this behavior. He’d thought it normal. And he’d always assumed that the interaction was normal and that Yunho saw him as a friend. After all, Yoochun acted that way with him sometimes as well… okay, he only kind of acted that way… aish, okay no. Yoochun didn’t go around caressing him gently after smacking him. He’d just smack him and run off laughing.
As soon as Min had said that, he began to remember all the strange looks he’d caught Yunho giving him. All the times he’d hit him only to touch him afterwards, making him uncomfortable sometimes but not enough to tell him off. How he’d do some things that Jaejoong had thought strange to do for a friend.
Oh boy, he now felt uncomfortable with Yunho overall. Damn Changmin for turning things this way! Only because Min was right didn’t mean he had to give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him.
“He doesn’t like me that way Min. You just don’t like him and that’s why you’ve made this up. So that I’ll be uncomfortable and not hang out with him. Just go home already. Whenever I get there I’ll talk to you about whatever you were so anxious to talk about that you had to tracked me down in the mall just to say.” Jaejoong said, dismissing his brother. He didn’t want to deal with talking to Min in front of everyone. When they talked, he sure as hell would resolve their issues. No more waiting for what if’s. Jaejoong was tired of walking on egg shells and not being certain. He’d say what he had to say and be done with it, regardless of what happened. It was clear that Min wouldn’t be able to be rid of him completely, so why not be out with the dirty secret he’d kept since he’d been a kid?
“The hell I’ll go home without you Jae. I’ll wait right here until you bid your friend goodbye.” Changmin said right before crossing his arms and setting a stubborn pose. Jaejoong sighed. Whenever Changmin behaved this way, it was almost impossible to make him change his mind. He’d know, he’d encountered it a thousand times throughout the years.
“Aish!” Jaejoong let out in frustration, almost stomping his foot but stopping just in time. He didn’t want to create a theatrical scene in the middle of the mall. ‘FREAKIN CHILDISH CHANGMIN!’ he screamed internally, but just turned abruptly and walked towards Yunho. As he got closer to Yunho he got nervous. He couldn’t see Yunho with the same eyes anymore… he’d become paranoid thanks to Changmin’s words. When Yunho stood up, he stopped abruptly, not wanting to get closer.
“What’s wrong Jaejoongie? Why do you look like that?” Yunho asked concerned. Jaejoong saw as Yunho turned to look at Changmin, narrowing his eyes, and Jaejoong bristled at Yunho’s actions. Yunho had no right to look at his brother that way.
“Nothing’s wrong Yunho. I just have to go home already. We’re finished with the project anyway, so see you tomorrow in class.” He forced a smiled.
“Okay Jaejoongie…bye.” Yunho said, sounding sad.
Jaejoong felt bad for a second.
He completely tensed up though when Yunho hugged him. He felt as the other man squeezed him tight and as he was letting go discretely caressed his lower back. Yunho had never done that before and Jaejoong froze at the feel of those fingers being too free with his anatomy.
If Min wouldn’t have been there, he would have completely decked Yunho (regardless of being in a public place that he could be thrown out of for making scene). But as it was he could feel the rage Min felt and thought it a good sign.
Oh, he definitely felt the jealousy radiating off his brother.
Yup, he wouldn’t be hanging out with Yunho ever again. That definitely didn’t feel like a friendly hug. Yunho had never hugged him that way. It didn’t matter that Yunho could have either:
a- wanted to get back at his brother for being so rude to him or
b- doing it to show his brother they were more than friends (whatever he’d want to do that god only knows) or
c- finally found a chance to do that in a place he knew Jaejoong wouldn’t make a scene in.
After all, he knew how Jaejoong disliked making scenes, but he didn’t know him that well to know that when a line is cross all bets are off.
“Bye Yunho.” Jaejoong said as he turned around and left without looking back. He walked right past his seething brother, feeling as the other seemed to hesitate, as if wanting to go punch Yunho, but in the end just followed him. Oh, Jaejoong is sure that Changmin would’ve punch Yunho if he would’ve known that that normally didn’t happen.
Jaejoong paused in his train of thought. Something had just clicked. It seemed that when one had strong enough feelings for themselves, that it was able to cancel the sensation of the other. He’d have to ask Min about it later, but recently he’d noticed how he’d have moments where he focused on his emotions more and didn’t feel Min at all. Take the laughing fit he’d had earlier. He’d been completely unaware of Min at the time, which brought him back to the present and the problem at hand.
He decided to think about that later.
For now, he focused on one thought. He and Min would have this long overdue conversation. No matter what the outcome, he’d finally let out what has been eating him alive all these years. Min would know exactly what he felt for him.
Chapter 14