Last Entry
This will most likely be my last entry. I started this journal at the beginning of a time of many rapid transitions in my life. Many physical transitions, yes, but I believe the mental and emotional transitions to be of far greater personal worth. The bulk of those transitions now being behind me, I believe it is now time to move on (and in the process, drop another time consuming internet activity). It also happens that this entry comes on my last day of staying home by myself, unemployed. As always before, I have had some thoughts on my mind that I wanted to put into writing.
First, to clarify what I said earlier, I do not believe that my life will be static from here on out. The human condition is not satisfactory without being driven by change. However, based on the experience of the past year I believe I have entered a state of long-term mental and emotional stability. Mentally, I now believe to have my priorities straight and a solid set of long term goals to achieve. Key to this factor was the discovery and mastery of endorphins. Emotionally, I now only rarely allow impulses to override my logic, and I have greatly improved my ability to think before speaking to people. Keys to this factor were getting married and creating a shell that only people who truly care can break through.
My father has told me many times over the past year that marrying Patience may be the smartest decision I've ever made. Thus far, I have no reason to doubt him. I've also heard many a time that the best person to marry is not someone who matches you but someone who completes you. Everything I see shows me how well we complete each other. I'm terrible at managing money, but Patience actually gets excited about sales and coupons. Patience never exercises on her own, but I get her to go on long walks and hikes all the time. I'm very lazy about cooking and cleaning, but Patience enjoys both. Patience hates socializing, but I get her to go out with friends at least once a week. We have very different backgrounds and personalities, yet we make a great team. Greatest of all, we never have to worry about trust or fidelity in our marriage, because we are both confident that it will never be an issue.
The final piece of the puzzle finally fell into place this past week. I accepted a one-year government contract working for the EPA, doing work that I can tolerate for a decent salary. When the year is over, I can opt to extend the contract for another year, which will put me in the 2-5 years experience range that most employers prefer. This is dependent upon good job performance, but now my mindset is such that I believe this will not be an issue. Looking back, I'm actually glad for the four months I've spent unemployed. The time was short enough that our savings were never in danger of running out, yet long enough that I feel rejuvenated and even enthusiastic about returning to work.
Well, I'm out of things to say, but if there ever was a weak point to my writing it would be ending the darn thing. I guess I'll let someone else do it for me, as his words have helped me a great deal over the past few years:
"God, give me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
- Kurt Vonnegut
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