Out Here in the Ether
Title: Out Here in the Ether
Author: rgcraeg
Rating: PG
Warning/Spoilers: none
Prompt(s): Ingrid Michaelson - Breakable - lyrics: and we are so fragile, and our cracking bones make noise. We are just, breakable, girls and boys...
Summary: "Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts? Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts."
1. I Came Apart Here
Sam fell, hard, her head bouncing like a croquet ball in the grass, a grunt forced from her lungs by the impact. Daniel jerked toward the sound. Alarmed eyes watched for a moment before turning to Jack, as if he'd have the answers. But Jack was already moving, signaling Teal'c to cover the path where the school of Jaffa just fled. A second later, they were at her side, Daniel assessing the exposed, charred flesh of her torso, Jack checking her breathing.
Daniel glanced down at Sam and thought she was dead. The excruciating silence gave him goose bumps, the dangling smoke tickling around them added to his unease. The two men looked up at the same time wearing identical fear. All of a sudden Jack was a flurry of motion: fingers plugged her nose and a hand cupped her chin.
He was giving her his air.
Daniel forced himself to move. His med kit, he could bandage her wound. Then Teal'c was next to him, out of breath.
He said, "I believe the ship has vacated this planet," to both of them…to no one, because his teammates' attention was elsewhere. Teal'c bent over Sam's body and helped with the field triage. It wasn't pretty, but it was close enough.
Close only counted in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Daniel was sure this counted; air squeaked past cracked lips.
"Oh, thankgod," Daniel breathed. Jack privately shared his sentiment. He assumed Teal'c did too, despite his lack of expression.
"Let's go. Now." And Jack, as relieved as he was, didn't want to spend any more time on top of this ground-soil that was stained dark with blood, burnt as black as death. He was thankful its grips no longer had a hold on Carter. She would live, and SG-1 too, to fight another round.
2. It's Harder Now That It's Over
Surrender to the blackness because the absolute trust that you have in your team to make it all better, will make it all better. Besides, you lack the wherewithal, the lucidity to grasp the severity of your injuries. Or the circumstances under which they were received. And you know that if you close your eyes they will take care of you.
You'll be okay because Daniel is at your shoulder and says so. And the Colonel, he is close too, his body no doubt rigid, eyes certainly vigilant, scanning the trees. If you could see Teal'c you'd know his attention is focused in the distance too. Your stoic sentinel.
They will keep you safe. They will keep you alive.
Just close your eyes.
***
"Sam!" His voice carried easily through the cement corridor. He was too close to be shouting.
"Jesus, Daniel, you scared-"
"Sorry. Look, I finished the translations from those MALP readings you pulled the other day. From M12-489? Think the General would be up for a second trip now?"
"I don't know, Daniel. Maybe," she replied noncommittally.
"Is everything okay, Sam?"
She looked up, surprised by his concern. "Yeah. Of course."
He watched her carefully, but didn't push. "Okay. Well, I'm going to find Jack. They moved the briefing back again. to ten-thirty. See you
up there?"
"Sure. Ten-thirty."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, Daniel, I'm fine." She repeated, but he was already halfway to the elevator. Sam sighed. The throbbing in her skull still had not abated, despite her best efforts (eight hundred milligrams of ibuprofen, a glass of orange juice, and a third of the bear claw the Colonel left behind at breakfast). Speaking of the Colonel…
"Carter! Wait up."
Sam grimaced reflexively. "Good morning, sir."
"Yeah, mornin'. Hey, have you seen Teal'c? He was supposed to return my Simpson's DVDs."
Sam wondered briefly why her team assumed she had a GPS unit imbedded in her brain, as if she could somehow hone in on their individual locator beacons. "I haven't seen him. Maybe he's still in the commissary?" It was plausible; the Jaffa ate a piled tray very slowly.
Jack held up a finger and made an Ah-hah expression with his mouth and forehead before doing an about-face.
"Sir! Daniel was looking for you!" She had to shout to catch him. He didn't look back, just gave her an unconcerned wave over his shoulder.
She sighed. It was nearly four days since she returned to active duty after the last concussion, and things had yet to click. The world was moving-her team was moving-but she felt like she was a couple paces behind, stalled.
Sam needed a vacation.
The next day she was sent to a sunny planet that was still damp from midnight thunderstorms.
3. This Perfect Darkness
The first breaths that were her own stung. She didn't open her eyes, knowing instinctively that the image would be blurry, and she needed this perfect darkness to last just a few moments longer.
This planet spun on its axis a couple hundred kilometers per hour faster than Earth, and Sam was sure she could feel the difference laying on her back like this, her eyes closed. It made her a little dizzy.
"Carter?" Colonel O'Neill tried, watching her face for signs of cognition.
"Is she breathing?" Daniel interrupted. Jack nodded and Daniel went back to dialing the gate.
"Should we not leave this planet immediately, O'Neill?" Teal'c was restless now, too, Jack noticed. The former First Prime kept glancing between the gate and his fallen team member like he was gauging the speed he could run with her over his shoulder.
"I know, Teal'c, give her a second," he said squinting into the sun. She opened her mouth to a groan and he urged her to move. "Carter! Come on." And she did, sitting up slowly, her hands covering unshielded pupils.
"Sir?" she asked. She wanted to know what happened, why her tongue is thick and why her lungs were on fire. The ringing in her ears made her unsteady, the sunlight robbing her of visual queues to correct the discrepancy. Nausea swept over her like a hot summer's day, but she swallowed the urge to lose her breakfast-it was barely edible going down and she didn't want the experience of a meal in reverse.
Sam wanted to stay where she was and decided the ground made a nice headrest. Not a second later the Colonel grabbed her by the elbow and lifted her head from the cold mud. "Sir?" she mumbled, awareness again filling her eyes with his face.
"Daniel, are we good to go?" he demanded still tugging on Sam's shoulders and forcing her to stand.
Daniel glances at his GDO as he slipped it back into a vest pocket, "Yeah, Jack. We're clear."
"Carter, you okay?" He asked but she was just barely holding onto the light at the horizon.
Steady.
She managed a nod. He was standing so rigid, she thought maybe it was hard for him, but she took advantage of the stillness to balance her
body.
The Colonel kept his shoulders under her armpit, an arm around her waist and shouted at the others, "Move out." But to her, he said, "That makes four, Carter. You gonna have any brain cells left for next month?"
If it didn't hurt so much, she would smile for him, but it did, so she didn't.
4. Moving Targets
Sam was released from the infirmary at a quarter to midnight the next night. Daniel left shortly after they shared a meal together on her lap tray, swapping stories and deserts. He wanted to stay, but she'd insisted he go. The quiet felt nice, she told him, she would be fine. It was one of the few times she could remember lying so fully to her friend.
The truth was, the mountain was suffocating her slowly, the buzzing of fluorescent lighting was seeping into her brain like weeds through cracks in the concrete. She wanted her own ceiling spinning above her and her own bed linens, one of the few things in her life that didn't smell like the Air Force.
Her peripheral vision caught a figure standing in a parallelogram of light at the door. It was Jack. When he realized she was awake, he greeted her with a smile, but didn't approach.
"You're still here," he said.
Sam pushed herself higher against her pillow, wincing at the flash of pain that ripped through her chest. "I was just on my way out," she told him.
"Yeah, looks that way."
Sam smiled. "I'm moving a little slowly today," she admitted.
Jack nodded, tucking his hands casually into his pockets. "Why don't you stay here tonight, business looks slow."
Sam glanced around the empty, dim room. She shrugged but didn't explain how she could feel the humming of electronics around her and that it made her stomach lurch.
"Come on, I'll take you home."
He pushed off the wall and approached. She thought her surprise showed because he asked, "Feels a little bit like a prison?"
Sam nodded. Yeah, it kind of did.
"Everybody's moving in double-time?"
She nodded again, but ducked her head to hide a frown. A flood of emotions engulfed her, just like that, in front of him, the past month crashing down on her and leaving her a little breathless. Sam wasn't sure she could stay here a moment longer, but she couldn't make her body obey the overwhelming urge to run out of the room. Her fingers felt like carrots as she lifted the blanket from her lap.
She had to get out of here, away from this place. Jack was closer now and she wished she'd made her escape before he'd found her. He was unyielding, however, standing just inside her world, invading her space like he always did. He was so still and the room was spinning so fast, and she wondered how he ever found peace in that restless body of his. The thought suddenly evaporated.
"Carter?" he asked when she used the bed to stay vertical.
"I'm fine, sir."
Sam knew he didn't believe her but he had enough sense not to challenge her. He held out a hand without word and led her to the locker rooms down the hall. When she emerged a few minutes later, a limp duffle bag slung over a shoulder, he was still there. He gave her a quick smile and followed her up to the surface.
She took a deep breath. Fresh air and she could breathe it on her own. He was there to help, but not with this, and she was thankful. An anorexic moon and sodium lights gave them enough light to find his truck. Sam smiled when he tripped over a rise in the cement. He covered by shuffling a little like he was trying to dance. He smiled back.
They were quiet as he drove through empty streets and blinking yellow traffic lights. The air was warm and thick with humidity but Sam wanted to feel it on her face. He didn't seem to mind when she opened her window. He cracked his own so it could fill the cab. She sagged against the seatbelt and let her head drop back against the seat.
She glanced at the Colonel. He looked so familiar even in the darkness, the dashboard lights glowing green on his skin. It was then that Sam realized it was the first time in four weeks that she felt the equilibrium return to her body.
Sam closed her eyes. She'd be home soon.
end.
Author: rgcraeg
Rating: PG
Warning/Spoilers: none
Prompt(s): Ingrid Michaelson - Breakable - lyrics: and we are so fragile, and our cracking bones make noise. We are just, breakable, girls and boys...
Summary: "Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts? Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts."
1. I Came Apart Here
Sam fell, hard, her head bouncing like a croquet ball in the grass, a grunt forced from her lungs by the impact. Daniel jerked toward the sound. Alarmed eyes watched for a moment before turning to Jack, as if he'd have the answers. But Jack was already moving, signaling Teal'c to cover the path where the school of Jaffa just fled. A second later, they were at her side, Daniel assessing the exposed, charred flesh of her torso, Jack checking her breathing.
Daniel glanced down at Sam and thought she was dead. The excruciating silence gave him goose bumps, the dangling smoke tickling around them added to his unease. The two men looked up at the same time wearing identical fear. All of a sudden Jack was a flurry of motion: fingers plugged her nose and a hand cupped her chin.
He was giving her his air.
Daniel forced himself to move. His med kit, he could bandage her wound. Then Teal'c was next to him, out of breath.
He said, "I believe the ship has vacated this planet," to both of them…to no one, because his teammates' attention was elsewhere. Teal'c bent over Sam's body and helped with the field triage. It wasn't pretty, but it was close enough.
Close only counted in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Daniel was sure this counted; air squeaked past cracked lips.
"Oh, thankgod," Daniel breathed. Jack privately shared his sentiment. He assumed Teal'c did too, despite his lack of expression.
"Let's go. Now." And Jack, as relieved as he was, didn't want to spend any more time on top of this ground-soil that was stained dark with blood, burnt as black as death. He was thankful its grips no longer had a hold on Carter. She would live, and SG-1 too, to fight another round.
2. It's Harder Now That It's Over
Surrender to the blackness because the absolute trust that you have in your team to make it all better, will make it all better. Besides, you lack the wherewithal, the lucidity to grasp the severity of your injuries. Or the circumstances under which they were received. And you know that if you close your eyes they will take care of you.
You'll be okay because Daniel is at your shoulder and says so. And the Colonel, he is close too, his body no doubt rigid, eyes certainly vigilant, scanning the trees. If you could see Teal'c you'd know his attention is focused in the distance too. Your stoic sentinel.
They will keep you safe. They will keep you alive.
Just close your eyes.
***
"Sam!" His voice carried easily through the cement corridor. He was too close to be shouting.
"Jesus, Daniel, you scared-"
"Sorry. Look, I finished the translations from those MALP readings you pulled the other day. From M12-489? Think the General would be up for a second trip now?"
"I don't know, Daniel. Maybe," she replied noncommittally.
"Is everything okay, Sam?"
She looked up, surprised by his concern. "Yeah. Of course."
He watched her carefully, but didn't push. "Okay. Well, I'm going to find Jack. They moved the briefing back again. to ten-thirty. See you
up there?"
"Sure. Ten-thirty."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, Daniel, I'm fine." She repeated, but he was already halfway to the elevator. Sam sighed. The throbbing in her skull still had not abated, despite her best efforts (eight hundred milligrams of ibuprofen, a glass of orange juice, and a third of the bear claw the Colonel left behind at breakfast). Speaking of the Colonel…
"Carter! Wait up."
Sam grimaced reflexively. "Good morning, sir."
"Yeah, mornin'. Hey, have you seen Teal'c? He was supposed to return my Simpson's DVDs."
Sam wondered briefly why her team assumed she had a GPS unit imbedded in her brain, as if she could somehow hone in on their individual locator beacons. "I haven't seen him. Maybe he's still in the commissary?" It was plausible; the Jaffa ate a piled tray very slowly.
Jack held up a finger and made an Ah-hah expression with his mouth and forehead before doing an about-face.
"Sir! Daniel was looking for you!" She had to shout to catch him. He didn't look back, just gave her an unconcerned wave over his shoulder.
She sighed. It was nearly four days since she returned to active duty after the last concussion, and things had yet to click. The world was moving-her team was moving-but she felt like she was a couple paces behind, stalled.
Sam needed a vacation.
The next day she was sent to a sunny planet that was still damp from midnight thunderstorms.
3. This Perfect Darkness
The first breaths that were her own stung. She didn't open her eyes, knowing instinctively that the image would be blurry, and she needed this perfect darkness to last just a few moments longer.
This planet spun on its axis a couple hundred kilometers per hour faster than Earth, and Sam was sure she could feel the difference laying on her back like this, her eyes closed. It made her a little dizzy.
"Carter?" Colonel O'Neill tried, watching her face for signs of cognition.
"Is she breathing?" Daniel interrupted. Jack nodded and Daniel went back to dialing the gate.
"Should we not leave this planet immediately, O'Neill?" Teal'c was restless now, too, Jack noticed. The former First Prime kept glancing between the gate and his fallen team member like he was gauging the speed he could run with her over his shoulder.
"I know, Teal'c, give her a second," he said squinting into the sun. She opened her mouth to a groan and he urged her to move. "Carter! Come on." And she did, sitting up slowly, her hands covering unshielded pupils.
"Sir?" she asked. She wanted to know what happened, why her tongue is thick and why her lungs were on fire. The ringing in her ears made her unsteady, the sunlight robbing her of visual queues to correct the discrepancy. Nausea swept over her like a hot summer's day, but she swallowed the urge to lose her breakfast-it was barely edible going down and she didn't want the experience of a meal in reverse.
Sam wanted to stay where she was and decided the ground made a nice headrest. Not a second later the Colonel grabbed her by the elbow and lifted her head from the cold mud. "Sir?" she mumbled, awareness again filling her eyes with his face.
"Daniel, are we good to go?" he demanded still tugging on Sam's shoulders and forcing her to stand.
Daniel glances at his GDO as he slipped it back into a vest pocket, "Yeah, Jack. We're clear."
"Carter, you okay?" He asked but she was just barely holding onto the light at the horizon.
Steady.
She managed a nod. He was standing so rigid, she thought maybe it was hard for him, but she took advantage of the stillness to balance her
body.
The Colonel kept his shoulders under her armpit, an arm around her waist and shouted at the others, "Move out." But to her, he said, "That makes four, Carter. You gonna have any brain cells left for next month?"
If it didn't hurt so much, she would smile for him, but it did, so she didn't.
4. Moving Targets
Sam was released from the infirmary at a quarter to midnight the next night. Daniel left shortly after they shared a meal together on her lap tray, swapping stories and deserts. He wanted to stay, but she'd insisted he go. The quiet felt nice, she told him, she would be fine. It was one of the few times she could remember lying so fully to her friend.
The truth was, the mountain was suffocating her slowly, the buzzing of fluorescent lighting was seeping into her brain like weeds through cracks in the concrete. She wanted her own ceiling spinning above her and her own bed linens, one of the few things in her life that didn't smell like the Air Force.
Her peripheral vision caught a figure standing in a parallelogram of light at the door. It was Jack. When he realized she was awake, he greeted her with a smile, but didn't approach.
"You're still here," he said.
Sam pushed herself higher against her pillow, wincing at the flash of pain that ripped through her chest. "I was just on my way out," she told him.
"Yeah, looks that way."
Sam smiled. "I'm moving a little slowly today," she admitted.
Jack nodded, tucking his hands casually into his pockets. "Why don't you stay here tonight, business looks slow."
Sam glanced around the empty, dim room. She shrugged but didn't explain how she could feel the humming of electronics around her and that it made her stomach lurch.
"Come on, I'll take you home."
He pushed off the wall and approached. She thought her surprise showed because he asked, "Feels a little bit like a prison?"
Sam nodded. Yeah, it kind of did.
"Everybody's moving in double-time?"
She nodded again, but ducked her head to hide a frown. A flood of emotions engulfed her, just like that, in front of him, the past month crashing down on her and leaving her a little breathless. Sam wasn't sure she could stay here a moment longer, but she couldn't make her body obey the overwhelming urge to run out of the room. Her fingers felt like carrots as she lifted the blanket from her lap.
She had to get out of here, away from this place. Jack was closer now and she wished she'd made her escape before he'd found her. He was unyielding, however, standing just inside her world, invading her space like he always did. He was so still and the room was spinning so fast, and she wondered how he ever found peace in that restless body of his. The thought suddenly evaporated.
"Carter?" he asked when she used the bed to stay vertical.
"I'm fine, sir."
Sam knew he didn't believe her but he had enough sense not to challenge her. He held out a hand without word and led her to the locker rooms down the hall. When she emerged a few minutes later, a limp duffle bag slung over a shoulder, he was still there. He gave her a quick smile and followed her up to the surface.
She took a deep breath. Fresh air and she could breathe it on her own. He was there to help, but not with this, and she was thankful. An anorexic moon and sodium lights gave them enough light to find his truck. Sam smiled when he tripped over a rise in the cement. He covered by shuffling a little like he was trying to dance. He smiled back.
They were quiet as he drove through empty streets and blinking yellow traffic lights. The air was warm and thick with humidity but Sam wanted to feel it on her face. He didn't seem to mind when she opened her window. He cracked his own so it could fill the cab. She sagged against the seatbelt and let her head drop back against the seat.
She glanced at the Colonel. He looked so familiar even in the darkness, the dashboard lights glowing green on his skin. It was then that Sam realized it was the first time in four weeks that she felt the equilibrium return to her body.
Sam closed her eyes. She'd be home soon.
end.