The memorial service for Blake on july 11 was beautiful. Not a single false note was struck by the people speaking. Patrick O'Neil and his mother Anne played the Faure Elegie in C minor (cello and piano) with great feeling. I sang the Radiohead song "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" (with a friend playing the guitar accompaniment and two friends singing ( Read more... )

Myrtle Beach, SC ( Read more... )

My younger (24 y.o.) brother, Blake, died early this morning.

God guard me from those thoughts men think
In the mind alone.
He that sings a lasting song
Thinks in a marrow-bone.

Yeats

Am I becoming too esoteric when I worry about a question like this: "Can my analyst recognize and handle a prerepresentational transference?" Whether or not I will be projecting such a thing is a separate issue ( Read more... )

For what shall I wield a dagger, o lord?
What can I pluck it out of
or plunge it into
when you are all the world?

devara dasimayya

any concerns I had about it being too easy dissolved. I bought the advanced one from FitterFirst. Whereas I could balanced on the flat side of the BOSU on a single leg and with my eyes closed, it required constant tiny corrections to stay up on two legs on the wobble board--at its easiest setting (it has three board-to-base angle settings ( Read more... )

I'm tired of complaining, of being buffeted by fears, of overestimating the scale of my personal suffering, of operating in such profoundly mauvaise foi. But being indisciminately hard on myself is not, at least according to my analyst, going to help me create a better life. The red crepe myrtles blooming outside look so banal. The delicious ( Read more... )

They used Radiohead's "Lucky" at the end of Six Feet Under tonight, as the characters burned a kind of dhuni! :-) Made me happy.

Had brunch this morning with dad and gail (my stepmom). While I was there I noticed the paucity of pictures of me on their shelves, which fairly teemed with pictures of oliver (half brother) and blake (step-brother). So I had my dad take pictures of me in front of his house. I don't know how to manipulate images on the computer, but I had him (dad ( Read more... )