My reality is a lot more like the "olden times" wife than the modern husband. My husband doesn't help with the kids much. He finally started "keeping them" some when I went back to college but ONLY for while I am in class.
At night, they cry for me and he does love to complain if anything is undone in the house..and with 3 kids, there is always something I am running behind on.
Your entry is really making me think.
I know the husband at the beginning is complaining about lack of spontaneous fun but I wonder if the wife also misses fun? With kids, there is enough to do, you have to make time for fun. I DO try to give my husband time to have fun but one does have to make it a priority if it is going to happen.
I honestly think its harder than ever now, for both parties, so much more is expected, school demands, social life, technology etc, etc,.... Don't be guilt ridden whatever you do. I was a Stepford wife (or a poor version) Did everything in the house with the children,....duh, it was tough. The time my husband helped was when I started studying and working, he then got meals and as the children were grown up not much else was needed. he also washes up now, and when I was doing nursing shifts he hung washing out as I left too early. We are now retired and we try to both do equal amounts.
We found when the kids got to teenage years to preserve sanity !!!we needed the odd 'dirty weekend' just 'couple' time alone, to be who we once were.
I have observed how it is for my sons and their generation. Sometimes I feel sorry for them.
I honestly think men in the 60s and before thought the house and laundry cleaned themselves and women sat and watched soap operas all day. That was until the roll reversals started and women went out and worked.
I am happy to say not all the bad things were true in the female version, although in the early 60's it was more the normal attitude!
The male, well, went to a party a while back and all the women were drinking wine in the lounge all the men were changing nappies or dealing with kids. It was funny in a way.
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The shining moments are few some days..but they still shine enough to make it all worth it (usually)
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At night, they cry for me and he does love to complain if anything is undone in the house..and with 3 kids, there is always something I am running behind on.
Your entry is really making me think.
I know the husband at the beginning is complaining about lack of spontaneous fun but I wonder if the wife also misses fun? With kids, there is enough to do, you have to make time for fun. I DO try to give my husband time to have fun but one does have to make it a priority if it is going to happen.
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Don't be guilt ridden whatever you do. I was a Stepford wife (or a poor version) Did everything in the house with the children,....duh, it was tough.
The time my husband helped was when I started studying and working, he then got meals and as the children were grown up not much else was needed. he also washes up now, and when I was doing nursing shifts he hung washing out as I left too early. We are now retired and we try to both do equal amounts.
We found when the kids got to teenage years to preserve sanity !!!we needed the odd 'dirty weekend' just 'couple' time alone, to be who we once were.
I have observed how it is for my sons and their generation. Sometimes I feel sorry for them.
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Well done as always.
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Thanks for reading.
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Am extending this idea to cover old age, (a real mine field, and also the Mom of teenagers...Holy crap!)
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The male, well, went to a party a while back and all the women were drinking wine in the lounge all the men were changing nappies or dealing with kids. It was funny in a way.
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