[oneshot]Log Cake(Christmas TaeNy)
So yea, you guys were probably wondering, zomg did she die?
No I didn't and I'm hoping that I can get back to writing soon! I've been so busy with life -.-;; But anyhoo, this is for everyone I've neglected, and this is also a request that I really wanted to write.
Merry Christmas!
---
Christmas Log Cake
Tiffany was always the flirtatious one. She would be so possessive of Taeyeon and scream at her over the phone, even if Taeyeon was meeting with old acquaintances. Then she would pretend to be the damsel in distress, blaming Taeyeon for all her hurts and that she should take responsibility. Tiffany was needy, Taeyeon didn’t get all the hints right from time to time but she definitely benefitted from it. It helped her figure Tiffany out; what made her happy, sad, snap, and it shaped everything that pertained to her.
“I love you.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“She’s my boss.”
“Then who am I?”
“My other boss…” She whispered gently to her ear and slowly nibbling onto it. Taeyeon was still in her office clothes, hastily coming back after listening to Tiffany’s voicemail. Tiffany found out that Taeyeon was out with her boss for dinner and overreacted-at least Taeyeon would think so. She had left Taeyeon a voicemail, nagging her as to why she would hide such a thing and if a relationship was even supposed to work if she hid secrets like that. Although Taeyeon had heard it from the same old sermon one too many times, it became natural for her to drop anything important for Tiffany. It was probably because she loved the girl that she stuck around as much as she can and that Taeyeon found her to be the most fascinating thing ever in the vast borders of Seoul.
“You’re too pretty.”
“Stop sweet talking me.”
“But it’s true.”
“I guess…” Tiffany sighed after feeling Taeyeon kiss her neck. It gets her every single time, and she kicks herself for it. Taeyeon could destroy her defenses so easily and it was hard to not give in. Taeyeon’s fingertips against her body felt like needle-like grooves of fire-that probably would burn right through her skin one day.
“Do you forgive me, now?”
“How can I not?” She exhaled after feeling Taeyeon’s weight on top of her while she was pinned down.
“I can’t stay and do this. I have a deadline tomorrow night.” Taeyeon sat up and pulled her up with her. Taeyeon worked for some entertainment magazine and she never did like it. It meant working beyond office hours, going out in the wee hours of the morning just to submit articles to the publishers, and having snotty literature graduates talking about the latest New York Times bestseller or some other peer-reviewed journal that they just read. She had already asked Taeyeon to not work and let her support her but Taeyeon was too modest to accept her proposal. Even if Tiffany earned three to four times more than Taeyeon earned on every paycheck as a dentist, Taeyeon said that she wanted to be the breadwinner despite of that.
“Can you quit your job…for me?” She whispered while loosening Taeyeon’s button-down. Unfortunately Taeyeon was completely unaffected by her charm.
“Maybe for tomorrow night,” Taeyeon said as she chuckled at her and removed her manicured hands away.
“Pretty please…?” She asked again and hugged Taeyeon from behind.
“Tomorrow,” Taeyeon said, letting go and heading to the kitchen to brew coffee. Tiffany stood up and followed, wearing nothing but a shirt with short shorts.
“I’m lonely.”
“You can help me if you want?” Taeyeon said as she set her cup down the counter to look at Tiffany. By the way Taeyeon was eyeing her; she was now sure if she got Taeyeon’s attention.
“No…I think I’m gonna go watch a movie or something.” She turned around and walked, making sure that Taeyeon saw each and every move. To her dismay, she heard nothing from Taeyeon’s end, and she wasn’t sure if Taeyeon would even follow.
“…alone.” She said out loud.
“It won’t be that bad.” She heard Taeyeon say.
“I’ll be really lonely.”
“My offer to help out is still here.”
“It’s gonna be really cold too…”
“I’ll turn the heater on, don’t worry.”
She slammed the door to her frustration. Taeyeon was resisting her again and she didn’t like it one bit. Tiffany lied down with her MacBook on her lap and scrolled through her movie list. Eventually she settled for some sappy American movie that Taeyeon probably wouldn’t dare watch, simply because it doesn’t have explosions or kidnapping in it. She admits that whenever Taeyeon had to work late nights, that’s when she misses her the most.
When she felt her eyelids get heavy, she knew it was time for her to hit the hay. She turned off the computer and placed it on the side table to give her space and she finally fell asleep.
---
Soft fingers grazed the sides of her arms as she slept. In moments like these she was reminded of how she chose Taeyeon over every other guy that wanted her. Sure, there was the occasional doubt of not ending up together forever but Taeyeon had already promised that they would brave through it, one day at a time.
So many times, Taeyeon had proven herself to Tiffany and it would be foolish of her to let go of the love of her life.
"I love you." Taeyeon whispered to her. It suddenly made her knees weak. "I'm sorry for neglecting you."
She wanted to say that it was okay and looked into Taeyeon's eyes, but sleep took a stronger hold on her. Tiffany let Taeyeon shower her with caresses and it lulled her to sleep.
The loneliness she felt earlier was replaced with pure bliss.
--
"So where are we going for Christmas eve?"
She asked over breakfast. Every year, they would go out to see the Christmas decoration scattered around the town hall, and then celebrate with the rest of their friends. Tiffany just had to ask to make sure that their plans were still the same.
"Uhh... About that…" Taeyeon said as she set down her spoon, Tiffany braced herself for disappointment.
"I can't because I have a deadline to catch. Christmas special for the day after..."
The words made Tiffany shiver with loneliness and she had nothing to say. Taeyeon was becoming so unreasonable with her work and it was one bogus excuse after the other.
"Oh...okay." she blankly said.
"I'll make it up to you."
"Alright," Tiffany replied in order to get her mind off of how upset she was. She was looking forward in having another Christmas with Taeyeon but all Taeyeon could think about was work. She became so upset that she completely lost her appetite. Needless to say, Taeyeon already stood up and prepared herself for another day at work.
“I’ll eat this on the go. I’m going to be late.” Taeyeon took her toast and headed for the door. Tiffany only heard the door close when she realized that Taeyeon had already left.
“Have fun at work…” She said to nobody in particular.
---
“I just don’t understand why she’s so busy.” She sat down on the spa’s lounge with her friend, Jessica at the other end. Jessica was her best friend that she always talked to whenever she had problems. Jessica also confided her problems to her.
“Did you ask her to spend more time with you?”
“No? How could I? She cares for work more than anything.”
“More than you?”
“By how things are going, I might as well say that.”
“I miss her a lot, Jess.”
“She probably misses you too.”
“I totally doubt that. She wouldn’t even watch a movie with me yesterday because she had a deadline.”
“But sti-"
“Hello ladies. The attendants are ready for the two of you. So please proceed through that door when the two of you are ready.”
“Thank you.” Tiffany stood up.
Jessica followed along and whispered to her.
“Just talk it over with her okay? I’m sure you’re over thinking this.”
“Okay, Jess but I’m pretty sure she’ll come up with another excuse again.”
“Just try anyway.”
“Sure.”
-----
On the way home, she walked the chilly pavements of Seoul with nothing more than her coat to keep her warm. She remembered the first time she arrived to Seoul from California. The first few months were the hardest, with all the paperwork and the preparations for her new clinic. Slowly, she became integrated into the healthcare system, patients started coming in and she gradually found her place. Although it felt lonely with no family in Korea, the years became better as time passed by. Tiffany eventually felt welcome with Jessica’s family, and eventually with the Kwon’s, whose daughter had a crush on Jessica.
Months after Yuri and Jessica became an item, she was set up with an unusual blind date that Yuri and Jessica said ‘she would totally love’. They said that the guy was nice, polite, and faithful, which made her question as to why the guy was even single in the first place. He was a year older than Tiffany and although he worked such an uncanny job-a grammar editor at a magazine-he was very bright and determined.
She had no choice but to say yes, as a date or two wouldn’t hurt but she wasn’t really that impressed. So what if he’s all 100% gentleman, Tiffany never found an interest in love even if she envied it from time to time. Being with someone was okay, without one was fine too.
When Tiffany sat in front of the prince charming that Yuri and Jessica told her to meet, she thought it was a mistake. A girl sat in front of her with the garden salad that she ordered while the soulful jazz singer did her thing with candles surrounding every corner of the restaurant.
The girl took a small piece of her steak and Tiffany felt awkward. She wasn’t sure why the girl was there, and she started to wonder where her prince charming was. She looked down on her plate and slowly started eating. The girl cleared her throat and caused her to look up.
“I know you were probably expecting a guy.”
She let the girl finish.
"I'm sorry if Jessica and Yuri deceived you. I told them it would've been okay if you knew."
She lifted her gaze and saw the girl blushing red as a tomato, perhaps embarrassed with what she just said.
"Ummm... It's fine." she tried to console the shorter girl.
"I--I'm not trying to date you or anything. To be honest they told me you were a guy too. But when I saw you, I wasn't really surprised that they did this to me again."
"What do you mean by that?" Tiffany asked, slightly irritated with what she just said.
"I mean, that they'd set me up with another girl." The girl hesitated and it felt like she had something to hide. "It was because a while back, I went out with them for a few drinks that I blacked out and made out with a girl. Ever since then, they just assumed that I'm gay so they try to set me up with every girl they think would be suitable for me."
"So I'm just another girl that made the cut." she crossed her arms and laid back.
"No... I don't wanna state it like that." she defensively said with her face red as a tomato. "I'm sorry for this whole dinner but really though, you look dazzling tonight."
"That's how you charm girls?" Tiffany teased.
"No... I--" she stopped halfway after seeing Tiffany smile. Tiffany knew that this girl was indeed true to her word, liking what she saw in front of her.
"Am I really that dazzling?" As Tiffany lost the patience to wait for her reply, she lifted her fork to resume eating.
"Ye--Yes."
"Then I think you just lied to me earlier. You knew about me being a girl."
"What?"
"Don't lie to me now."
Even though Tiffany just took a lucky guess, she did not flinch when the girl nodded her head. Although it was unlike her to act in such a way, she didn't mind.
“Then you probably know that I’m Tiffany. What about you, what’s your name?”
“Ta-Taeyeon.”
“Well, Taeyeon. Tell me about yourself?” She cradled her head and looked at Taeyeon with amusement. Though she couldn’t openly admit it before, over time, she was convinced that Taeyeon swept her away since day one.
--
Two years had passed since that fateful day and Taeyeon and Tiffany had been living together for about three months. The first month was the hardest with Taeyeon trying to shoulder all the house chores while being the assistant editor-in-chief for the magazine but they somehow managed. Even if Tiffany barely saw Taeyeon, she got used to it and it wasn’t as bad as before.
“Thank you, come again.” She heard a store bell ring and she saw her favorite pastry shop. She remembered trying their angel cake for the first time and immediately fell in love with it. When Tiffany came in, a poster of their huge Christmas log cake greeted her that her mouth fell agape. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
“Hello and welcome!” The attendant cheerfully greeted her with a smile. “Would you like to order a Christmas log cake? We have a special until today, and it will be delivered to your doorstep on the 24th.”
“A-Umm…” She was surprised with how fast the attendant spoke to her. She was already drawn into buying it.
“It’s just 10,000 won for the entire log.”
Did she even have 10,000 won on her right now? She thought. The log looked so appealing that she would be stupid not to take the offer.
“O-ookay. I’ll take it. Please deliver it to this address.” She said after handing out her business card and 10,000 won. Then she awkwardly walked out of the store, even before the attendant gave her the receipt.
Upon going out of that store, Tiffany arrived to a realization.
If Taeyeon wasn’t going to spend Christmas with her, then she’d just spend her Christmas eating a Christmas log, alone.
---
“You bought a Christmas log for Christmas eve?”
“Yeah…If you can’t make it, it’s fine. More for me,” She bitterly replied while in the shower. Tiffany was never good at being rebellious but she wanted Taeyeon to realize how important it was for them to be together for Christmas.
“Well then…” Taeyeon fell speechless; it made Tiffany worry a bit. “Umm hey, I gotta go.”
Tiffany’s expression darkened a bit and it made her irritated.
“Let me guess, another deadline.” She flailed her arms to her frustration.
When she heard the door close, Tiffany wanted to cry. Taeyeon was being so unreasonable that it was taking a toll on her. She felt her tears stream down her face and she began to loathe herself because of what she did. Most people have already started their vacation right now and she was already finishing up her clinic hours for the holidays. But it seems like out of this entire town, it had to be her girlfriend that needed to work overtime.
-----
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve.
She was preparing herself for a celebration alone, ignoring Jessica’s text about their famous Christmas party. Tiffany looked through the wine section, asking the wine expert about which wine to get for tomorrow. Speaking to the attendant, she felt more and more saddened by the reality of a Christmas alone.
When she paid for everything she needed, she walked herself to her car and stayed there for a while. A huge gaping hole seemingly opened right in place of her heart and it was hard to breathe. She rationalized that it may be because of the weather but she knew where it came from.
She took out her phone and dialed Taeyeon’s number and after two rings, Taeyeon answered.
“Hello.” Taeyeon cheerfully said. “Is there something wrong?”
“Oh-umm…nothing.” She whispered to the receiver. Taeyeon’s distinct voice was enough to get her knees weak and shaky that she couldn’t speak. “I-I forgot. Nevermind.”
“Hey… are you okay?” Taeyeon asked again. At that point, Tiffany needed her and she wanted Taeyeon to hold her-to fulfill her needs. Was it really too much to ask?
“Actually…no.” She swallowed hard. “I need you to hold me when you get home.”
“I miss you.” She said it with such loneliness that several seconds passed before Taeyeon could reply. Taeyeon must have felt what she’s been hiding in the past few days. Tiffany wanted to beg Taeyeon to stay for Christmas but somehow her morals stopped her.
“I love you, Tiffany.” Taeyeon said, completely ignoring the other request. Tiffany had no want to question anymore, and she assumed that perhaps it was Taeyeon’s way of saying that she had to go.
“I love you too. I guess I’m gonna go, I have to call Jessica about something.”
“Alright, I’ll see you tonight.”
---------------
That night, Taeyeon came home late that Tiffany fell asleep while waiting. It wasn’t until Tiffany felt herself get carried to the bed that she realized that Taeyeon had finally come home.
“Finally you’re home.” She yawned and stirred on her bed.
“Sorry. I got caught up.”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
Tiffany felt Taeyeon straddle her but realizing that she was already longing for sleep, she shun her away. She probably won’t have some until next week or so, but she wasn’t really in her right condition. It was late, she was sleepy. It was going to be slightly busy tomorrow.
“No. Not tonight.” She pushed the shorter girl away.
“But I missed you.” Taeyeon pouted.
“Goodnight.”
“Aigoo…”
She was somewhat happy that Taeyeon came around but Tiffany felt that the timing was so wrong. Taeyeon chose a time where she was groggy and tired, and what made it more horrible was that they only did this once or twice a month because of Taeyeon’s busy schedule.
“I miss so much, Pani-ah.” The short girl whispered to her as they spooned in the big bed. Taeyeon wrapped her arms around Tiffany’s waist and Tiffany held her hand.
“Make it up to me when you’re not busy anymore. I miss you, too.”
“I will.” She whispered and nibbled on her ear but Tiffany was already fast asleep.
----
“Hello, this is a delivery for Tiffany Hwang.” Taeyeon accepted the big bulky box presented to her, and then she set down the box on the counter.
“If you can sign right here, I can be on my way.” The attendant said to her and offered her a clipboard with a pen.
“Thank you! The cake won’t melt or anything so it can stay outside the refrigerator.”
After signing, she bowed and the attendant bowed back. Taeyeon then closed the door and diverted her attention to the huge box.
The Christmas log was huge and it made her wonder how much Tiffany paid for such a big treat like this. She was not a big fan of sweets but this looked so appealing that she wanted to taste some of it.
When she heard the clock ring to the hour, she checked the time. It was exactly 9:00 A.M. and she thought about cooking the two of them something to eat for breakfast. Tiffany was still in bed, sleeping so she wanted to surprise her with a Christmas breakfast in bed.
She opened the freezer and saw meat that she had bought the day before and thought that it could do. Taeyeon scrambled eggs, cooked bacon, and even juiced orange for Tiffany.
When she was done, Tiffany already walked through the kitchen door.
“Good morning, Taeyeon.”
“He-hey!” She was so startled that she almost dropped the eggs on the floor. “You’re up early.”
“It’s almost 10.”
“I guess.”
It was then that Taeyeon gave up on the dinner and set it on the dining table instead.
“Tiffany brought out dining utensils and waited for Taeyeon to sit down on the table with her.” Taeyeon smiled and Tiffany smiled back.
“Your heavy log came.” She pointed at the huge box on the counter.
“I’m excited to eat it.” Tiffany smirked.
“Me too.”
“No, you can’t have some.” Tiffany commanded with sternness in her voice.
“We’ll see.”
---
After their brunch, Tiffany lounged on their sofa while watching a Christmas special going on. Taeyeon was in the shower, perhaps getting ready to head on out to work, and Tiffany felt sadness again. The meal they shared together felt special because it was as if they had no restraint in time. Taeyeon usually left the house as early as 7 A.M. and Tiffany had to be out by 8 to beat rush hour. Today, they both had woken later than usual and took their time eating. It was already 11 when they finished, and it wouldn’t have been cut short if Taeyeon didn’t complain about wanting to shower.
For Tiffany, she thought of that as a sign that Taeyeon had to go to work. She wanted to stop her but she didn’t have the heart to. Christmas was a celebration of thanks, and it would be selfish of her to just stop Taeyeon from doing what she wanted.
“What are you doing for Christmas eve?” The announcer from the show asked a girl, maybe not far from her age.
“I’m spending it with my boyfriend.”
“Ahh… isn’t that nice?”
“Ahh you’re so lucky…” Tiffany said to nothing in particular. She wanted the same thing from Taeyeon, to say the same thing as that.
“Who’s lucky?” Taeyeon sat down next to her and dried her hair with a towel.
She jumped on her seat after hearing Taeyeon’s voice but what was more startling was that Taeyeon was in his boxer shorts.
“I thought you were going to work.”
“Yes, in an hour or two.”
Taeyeon stood up and went closer to Tiffany. Then she kissed her girlfriend on the cheek.
“Go shower.”
“Aigoo. Fine,” She sighed in defeat. Tiffany on the inside was relieved that she had more time to spend with Taeyeon.
“Assa!” She heard Taeyeon say after she left the living room. Maybe Cunning Man, Taeyeon’s favorite show, is on.
“Pani-ah, hurry up. Cunning Man is on!”
Taeyeon did nothing special but for some odd reason, Tiffany couldn’t stop smiling.
---
“You wanna watch a movie?” Taeyeon looked through their DVD box.
“Okay.” Tiffany smiled.
They popped in an American movie and sat closely together. Tiffany was somehow really close that she desired Taeyeon’s lips all of a sudden. She gently gave Taeyeon a peck on the lips. Taeyeon blushed and smiled at her and then kissed her gently.
When she was about to break the kiss off, Tiffany already locked her in an embrace.
“I missed your lips so I can’t let you get away that easily.” Tiffany said to her and it made her smile. She kissed Tiffany a bit more and upon feeling Tiffany’s arm wrap around her body closer, she felt more and more encouraged to go on. But just when she was about to proceed, Tiffany pulled away.
“Can we do this some other time? It doesn’t seem so appropriate being Christmas and all.”
Taeyeon smiled. It wasn’t really a big deal for her that Tiffany refused and what they did was more than satisfying. She kissed Tiffany on the cheek and held her hand while they continued to watch the movie, gently tugging the girl to cuddle with her. They haven’t done this for so long and it felt like pure bliss to be together again.
“I missed you so much.” Tiffany said while starting to doze off. Taeyeon who had no choice, dozed off too.
--
“Ta-taetae!” She woke up with Tiffany’s scream. She rubbed her eyes and adjusted her vision to the girl that shook her a few moments ago.
“Waewae?” Taeyeon asked her groggily.
“Look at the time; you’re gonna be late,” Tiffany exclaimed. Taeyeon looked at the clock and realized that it was already 7 pm. Tiffany worriedly held Taeyeon’s hand and showed much concern to her. Taeyeon then gave her a slightly mechanical smile, and Tiffany felt puzzled by it.
“Why are you smiling?” Tiffany slapped Taeyeon’s arm.
Taeyeon went silent for almost a minute that had Tiffany worrying. She heard nothing but the clock ticking seconds away and she felt guilty for even falling asleep when Taeyeon was supposed to be working.
“Well then, I think I’m gonna get fired tomorrow.” Taeyeon pulled her up by the hand and took her to the kitchen. “Why don’t we celebrate by making dinner together?”
“Tiffany raised her eyebrows, totally confused with what just happened. Taeyeon, stomaching in the loss of her job, was just unheard of. Usually, Taeyeon was someone that wouldn’t let go of something without a fight, and here she was, treating her job as if it was nothing.
Tiffany let go of Taeyeon’s grip and looked straight looked straight into Taeyeon’s eyes, “Are you really okay?”
Taeyeon smiled at her, and it was an assuring smile. Tiffany almost sighed for relief but held her breath until Taeyeon would confirm.
“Really, I’m okay.” Taeyeon smiled. Then she opened the fridge and looked around its contents.
“Now what would you like for dinner?”
--
By the time they were done eating dinner, it was already 11 P.M. They talked for a long period of time, and Tiffany felt that it was the best Christmas she’s ever had. Tiffany was overjoyed. Over the past few years, she’s gotten too wasted or drunk to even reach Christmas, and here she was, alcohol-free and having the happiest Christmas yet.
But when Taeyeon took out the log cake, she felt a bit guilty for what she’s done.
“Taeyeon, I’m sorry for what I did. I was selfish and only cared about myself without accommodating to your needs. I bought the log cake because I somehow wanted to show you what you were missing out on.”
She lowered her head and avoided Taeyeon’s gaze. She was about to cry when she felt Taeyeon’s hand hold hers.
“It’s okay. Really, it’s okay. What’s important is that where together right now.” Taeyeon gave the cake knife to Tiffany. “Now, would you like to cut the cake?”
Tiffany wiped her face with a napkin and took the knife. She sliced a piece for herself and a piece for Taeyeon, the humungous log cake had at least four layers inside.
Tiffany shyly smiled and blushed, when Taeyeon held her hand.
“I love you,” Taeyeon said.
They heard the clock ring on the hour and when they looked it was already midnight.
“Merry Christmas,” Taeyeon smiled to Tiffany after taking out a small box. Tiffany let go of Taeyeon’s hand, and she proceeded to the bedroom to get her own present. They exchanged gifts.
Tiffany opened the box Taeyeon gave her and saw a watch neatly tucked inside it. She smiled, and Taeyeon smiled back. The watch was pretty and definitely something she would wear, especially on special occasions.
“Is this why you’ve been working overtime?”
“Maybe?” Taeyeon gave her a smug smile. “Do you like it?”
“A lot.” Tiffany smiled back, showing her radiant smile to the fullest. “Open yours.”
Taeyeon then diverted her attention to her own present, a small notebook. She flipped through the pages and saw every page already filled with Tiffany’s handwriting. Some pages were already worn out, but still intact.
“What’s this?” She asked Tiffany.
“Every single entry was a time when I missed you ever since we met.” Tiffany replied. “Sorry, I wasn’t sure what to get you.”
Taeyeon smiled back at her and then looked at the last entry that Tiffany wrote; it talked about how annoyed Tiffany was about Taeyeon’s busy schedule and her job, how hurt Tiffany was that Taeyeon chose her job over a Christmas with her girlfriend, and how she wanted her to quit her job and just stay home for her.
Taeyeon felt remorse, and started a confession of her own.
“Well, the truth is, the reason that I’ve been busy the past few days was because I wanted to spend time with you. I finished all my schedules early just so I could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with you. I wanted to surprise you, and I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I figured that it would be more special if you found out at the last minute, and I’m sorry if I put you through that.”
Taeyeon kissed Tiffany’s hand, and they heard the sound of fireworks outside. It wasn’t such a grand Christmas, but the fact that they spent it together was worthwhile. Taeyeon was right where she wanted, and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Their Christmas was perhaps the most perfect one they’ve had so far, and it made them fall in love with each other a little bit more.
While staying in the hug, Tiffany whispered to Taeyeon.
“Were you serious about you losing your job earlier?”
Taeyeon could only smile as she was speechless.
“Yah…Taetae…” Tiffany pouted.
But still, Taeyeon did not reply.
“Yah…please?”
Still, nothing.
“Please…please…”
Taeyeon couldn’t help but finally give in.
“Fine. Tomorrow morning, I’m all yours.”
“Fine. Tomorrow morning, I’m all yours.”
“You forgot to add something to that.” Tiffany added.
“Waewae?”
“Boss.”
---
I hope to see you guys soon?
No I didn't and I'm hoping that I can get back to writing soon! I've been so busy with life -.-;; But anyhoo, this is for everyone I've neglected, and this is also a request that I really wanted to write.
Merry Christmas!
---
Christmas Log Cake
Tiffany was always the flirtatious one. She would be so possessive of Taeyeon and scream at her over the phone, even if Taeyeon was meeting with old acquaintances. Then she would pretend to be the damsel in distress, blaming Taeyeon for all her hurts and that she should take responsibility. Tiffany was needy, Taeyeon didn’t get all the hints right from time to time but she definitely benefitted from it. It helped her figure Tiffany out; what made her happy, sad, snap, and it shaped everything that pertained to her.
“I love you.”
“You don’t.”
“I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“She’s my boss.”
“Then who am I?”
“My other boss…” She whispered gently to her ear and slowly nibbling onto it. Taeyeon was still in her office clothes, hastily coming back after listening to Tiffany’s voicemail. Tiffany found out that Taeyeon was out with her boss for dinner and overreacted-at least Taeyeon would think so. She had left Taeyeon a voicemail, nagging her as to why she would hide such a thing and if a relationship was even supposed to work if she hid secrets like that. Although Taeyeon had heard it from the same old sermon one too many times, it became natural for her to drop anything important for Tiffany. It was probably because she loved the girl that she stuck around as much as she can and that Taeyeon found her to be the most fascinating thing ever in the vast borders of Seoul.
“You’re too pretty.”
“Stop sweet talking me.”
“But it’s true.”
“I guess…” Tiffany sighed after feeling Taeyeon kiss her neck. It gets her every single time, and she kicks herself for it. Taeyeon could destroy her defenses so easily and it was hard to not give in. Taeyeon’s fingertips against her body felt like needle-like grooves of fire-that probably would burn right through her skin one day.
“Do you forgive me, now?”
“How can I not?” She exhaled after feeling Taeyeon’s weight on top of her while she was pinned down.
“I can’t stay and do this. I have a deadline tomorrow night.” Taeyeon sat up and pulled her up with her. Taeyeon worked for some entertainment magazine and she never did like it. It meant working beyond office hours, going out in the wee hours of the morning just to submit articles to the publishers, and having snotty literature graduates talking about the latest New York Times bestseller or some other peer-reviewed journal that they just read. She had already asked Taeyeon to not work and let her support her but Taeyeon was too modest to accept her proposal. Even if Tiffany earned three to four times more than Taeyeon earned on every paycheck as a dentist, Taeyeon said that she wanted to be the breadwinner despite of that.
“Can you quit your job…for me?” She whispered while loosening Taeyeon’s button-down. Unfortunately Taeyeon was completely unaffected by her charm.
“Maybe for tomorrow night,” Taeyeon said as she chuckled at her and removed her manicured hands away.
“Pretty please…?” She asked again and hugged Taeyeon from behind.
“Tomorrow,” Taeyeon said, letting go and heading to the kitchen to brew coffee. Tiffany stood up and followed, wearing nothing but a shirt with short shorts.
“I’m lonely.”
“You can help me if you want?” Taeyeon said as she set her cup down the counter to look at Tiffany. By the way Taeyeon was eyeing her; she was now sure if she got Taeyeon’s attention.
“No…I think I’m gonna go watch a movie or something.” She turned around and walked, making sure that Taeyeon saw each and every move. To her dismay, she heard nothing from Taeyeon’s end, and she wasn’t sure if Taeyeon would even follow.
“…alone.” She said out loud.
“It won’t be that bad.” She heard Taeyeon say.
“I’ll be really lonely.”
“My offer to help out is still here.”
“It’s gonna be really cold too…”
“I’ll turn the heater on, don’t worry.”
She slammed the door to her frustration. Taeyeon was resisting her again and she didn’t like it one bit. Tiffany lied down with her MacBook on her lap and scrolled through her movie list. Eventually she settled for some sappy American movie that Taeyeon probably wouldn’t dare watch, simply because it doesn’t have explosions or kidnapping in it. She admits that whenever Taeyeon had to work late nights, that’s when she misses her the most.
When she felt her eyelids get heavy, she knew it was time for her to hit the hay. She turned off the computer and placed it on the side table to give her space and she finally fell asleep.
---
Soft fingers grazed the sides of her arms as she slept. In moments like these she was reminded of how she chose Taeyeon over every other guy that wanted her. Sure, there was the occasional doubt of not ending up together forever but Taeyeon had already promised that they would brave through it, one day at a time.
So many times, Taeyeon had proven herself to Tiffany and it would be foolish of her to let go of the love of her life.
"I love you." Taeyeon whispered to her. It suddenly made her knees weak. "I'm sorry for neglecting you."
She wanted to say that it was okay and looked into Taeyeon's eyes, but sleep took a stronger hold on her. Tiffany let Taeyeon shower her with caresses and it lulled her to sleep.
The loneliness she felt earlier was replaced with pure bliss.
--
"So where are we going for Christmas eve?"
She asked over breakfast. Every year, they would go out to see the Christmas decoration scattered around the town hall, and then celebrate with the rest of their friends. Tiffany just had to ask to make sure that their plans were still the same.
"Uhh... About that…" Taeyeon said as she set down her spoon, Tiffany braced herself for disappointment.
"I can't because I have a deadline to catch. Christmas special for the day after..."
The words made Tiffany shiver with loneliness and she had nothing to say. Taeyeon was becoming so unreasonable with her work and it was one bogus excuse after the other.
"Oh...okay." she blankly said.
"I'll make it up to you."
"Alright," Tiffany replied in order to get her mind off of how upset she was. She was looking forward in having another Christmas with Taeyeon but all Taeyeon could think about was work. She became so upset that she completely lost her appetite. Needless to say, Taeyeon already stood up and prepared herself for another day at work.
“I’ll eat this on the go. I’m going to be late.” Taeyeon took her toast and headed for the door. Tiffany only heard the door close when she realized that Taeyeon had already left.
“Have fun at work…” She said to nobody in particular.
---
“I just don’t understand why she’s so busy.” She sat down on the spa’s lounge with her friend, Jessica at the other end. Jessica was her best friend that she always talked to whenever she had problems. Jessica also confided her problems to her.
“Did you ask her to spend more time with you?”
“No? How could I? She cares for work more than anything.”
“More than you?”
“By how things are going, I might as well say that.”
“I miss her a lot, Jess.”
“She probably misses you too.”
“I totally doubt that. She wouldn’t even watch a movie with me yesterday because she had a deadline.”
“But sti-"
“Hello ladies. The attendants are ready for the two of you. So please proceed through that door when the two of you are ready.”
“Thank you.” Tiffany stood up.
Jessica followed along and whispered to her.
“Just talk it over with her okay? I’m sure you’re over thinking this.”
“Okay, Jess but I’m pretty sure she’ll come up with another excuse again.”
“Just try anyway.”
“Sure.”
-----
On the way home, she walked the chilly pavements of Seoul with nothing more than her coat to keep her warm. She remembered the first time she arrived to Seoul from California. The first few months were the hardest, with all the paperwork and the preparations for her new clinic. Slowly, she became integrated into the healthcare system, patients started coming in and she gradually found her place. Although it felt lonely with no family in Korea, the years became better as time passed by. Tiffany eventually felt welcome with Jessica’s family, and eventually with the Kwon’s, whose daughter had a crush on Jessica.
Months after Yuri and Jessica became an item, she was set up with an unusual blind date that Yuri and Jessica said ‘she would totally love’. They said that the guy was nice, polite, and faithful, which made her question as to why the guy was even single in the first place. He was a year older than Tiffany and although he worked such an uncanny job-a grammar editor at a magazine-he was very bright and determined.
She had no choice but to say yes, as a date or two wouldn’t hurt but she wasn’t really that impressed. So what if he’s all 100% gentleman, Tiffany never found an interest in love even if she envied it from time to time. Being with someone was okay, without one was fine too.
When Tiffany sat in front of the prince charming that Yuri and Jessica told her to meet, she thought it was a mistake. A girl sat in front of her with the garden salad that she ordered while the soulful jazz singer did her thing with candles surrounding every corner of the restaurant.
The girl took a small piece of her steak and Tiffany felt awkward. She wasn’t sure why the girl was there, and she started to wonder where her prince charming was. She looked down on her plate and slowly started eating. The girl cleared her throat and caused her to look up.
“I know you were probably expecting a guy.”
She let the girl finish.
"I'm sorry if Jessica and Yuri deceived you. I told them it would've been okay if you knew."
She lifted her gaze and saw the girl blushing red as a tomato, perhaps embarrassed with what she just said.
"Ummm... It's fine." she tried to console the shorter girl.
"I--I'm not trying to date you or anything. To be honest they told me you were a guy too. But when I saw you, I wasn't really surprised that they did this to me again."
"What do you mean by that?" Tiffany asked, slightly irritated with what she just said.
"I mean, that they'd set me up with another girl." The girl hesitated and it felt like she had something to hide. "It was because a while back, I went out with them for a few drinks that I blacked out and made out with a girl. Ever since then, they just assumed that I'm gay so they try to set me up with every girl they think would be suitable for me."
"So I'm just another girl that made the cut." she crossed her arms and laid back.
"No... I don't wanna state it like that." she defensively said with her face red as a tomato. "I'm sorry for this whole dinner but really though, you look dazzling tonight."
"That's how you charm girls?" Tiffany teased.
"No... I--" she stopped halfway after seeing Tiffany smile. Tiffany knew that this girl was indeed true to her word, liking what she saw in front of her.
"Am I really that dazzling?" As Tiffany lost the patience to wait for her reply, she lifted her fork to resume eating.
"Ye--Yes."
"Then I think you just lied to me earlier. You knew about me being a girl."
"What?"
"Don't lie to me now."
Even though Tiffany just took a lucky guess, she did not flinch when the girl nodded her head. Although it was unlike her to act in such a way, she didn't mind.
“Then you probably know that I’m Tiffany. What about you, what’s your name?”
“Ta-Taeyeon.”
“Well, Taeyeon. Tell me about yourself?” She cradled her head and looked at Taeyeon with amusement. Though she couldn’t openly admit it before, over time, she was convinced that Taeyeon swept her away since day one.
--
Two years had passed since that fateful day and Taeyeon and Tiffany had been living together for about three months. The first month was the hardest with Taeyeon trying to shoulder all the house chores while being the assistant editor-in-chief for the magazine but they somehow managed. Even if Tiffany barely saw Taeyeon, she got used to it and it wasn’t as bad as before.
“Thank you, come again.” She heard a store bell ring and she saw her favorite pastry shop. She remembered trying their angel cake for the first time and immediately fell in love with it. When Tiffany came in, a poster of their huge Christmas log cake greeted her that her mouth fell agape. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
“Hello and welcome!” The attendant cheerfully greeted her with a smile. “Would you like to order a Christmas log cake? We have a special until today, and it will be delivered to your doorstep on the 24th.”
“A-Umm…” She was surprised with how fast the attendant spoke to her. She was already drawn into buying it.
“It’s just 10,000 won for the entire log.”
Did she even have 10,000 won on her right now? She thought. The log looked so appealing that she would be stupid not to take the offer.
“O-ookay. I’ll take it. Please deliver it to this address.” She said after handing out her business card and 10,000 won. Then she awkwardly walked out of the store, even before the attendant gave her the receipt.
Upon going out of that store, Tiffany arrived to a realization.
If Taeyeon wasn’t going to spend Christmas with her, then she’d just spend her Christmas eating a Christmas log, alone.
---
“You bought a Christmas log for Christmas eve?”
“Yeah…If you can’t make it, it’s fine. More for me,” She bitterly replied while in the shower. Tiffany was never good at being rebellious but she wanted Taeyeon to realize how important it was for them to be together for Christmas.
“Well then…” Taeyeon fell speechless; it made Tiffany worry a bit. “Umm hey, I gotta go.”
Tiffany’s expression darkened a bit and it made her irritated.
“Let me guess, another deadline.” She flailed her arms to her frustration.
When she heard the door close, Tiffany wanted to cry. Taeyeon was being so unreasonable that it was taking a toll on her. She felt her tears stream down her face and she began to loathe herself because of what she did. Most people have already started their vacation right now and she was already finishing up her clinic hours for the holidays. But it seems like out of this entire town, it had to be her girlfriend that needed to work overtime.
-----
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve.
She was preparing herself for a celebration alone, ignoring Jessica’s text about their famous Christmas party. Tiffany looked through the wine section, asking the wine expert about which wine to get for tomorrow. Speaking to the attendant, she felt more and more saddened by the reality of a Christmas alone.
When she paid for everything she needed, she walked herself to her car and stayed there for a while. A huge gaping hole seemingly opened right in place of her heart and it was hard to breathe. She rationalized that it may be because of the weather but she knew where it came from.
She took out her phone and dialed Taeyeon’s number and after two rings, Taeyeon answered.
“Hello.” Taeyeon cheerfully said. “Is there something wrong?”
“Oh-umm…nothing.” She whispered to the receiver. Taeyeon’s distinct voice was enough to get her knees weak and shaky that she couldn’t speak. “I-I forgot. Nevermind.”
“Hey… are you okay?” Taeyeon asked again. At that point, Tiffany needed her and she wanted Taeyeon to hold her-to fulfill her needs. Was it really too much to ask?
“Actually…no.” She swallowed hard. “I need you to hold me when you get home.”
“I miss you.” She said it with such loneliness that several seconds passed before Taeyeon could reply. Taeyeon must have felt what she’s been hiding in the past few days. Tiffany wanted to beg Taeyeon to stay for Christmas but somehow her morals stopped her.
“I love you, Tiffany.” Taeyeon said, completely ignoring the other request. Tiffany had no want to question anymore, and she assumed that perhaps it was Taeyeon’s way of saying that she had to go.
“I love you too. I guess I’m gonna go, I have to call Jessica about something.”
“Alright, I’ll see you tonight.”
---------------
That night, Taeyeon came home late that Tiffany fell asleep while waiting. It wasn’t until Tiffany felt herself get carried to the bed that she realized that Taeyeon had finally come home.
“Finally you’re home.” She yawned and stirred on her bed.
“Sorry. I got caught up.”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
Tiffany felt Taeyeon straddle her but realizing that she was already longing for sleep, she shun her away. She probably won’t have some until next week or so, but she wasn’t really in her right condition. It was late, she was sleepy. It was going to be slightly busy tomorrow.
“No. Not tonight.” She pushed the shorter girl away.
“But I missed you.” Taeyeon pouted.
“Goodnight.”
“Aigoo…”
She was somewhat happy that Taeyeon came around but Tiffany felt that the timing was so wrong. Taeyeon chose a time where she was groggy and tired, and what made it more horrible was that they only did this once or twice a month because of Taeyeon’s busy schedule.
“I miss so much, Pani-ah.” The short girl whispered to her as they spooned in the big bed. Taeyeon wrapped her arms around Tiffany’s waist and Tiffany held her hand.
“Make it up to me when you’re not busy anymore. I miss you, too.”
“I will.” She whispered and nibbled on her ear but Tiffany was already fast asleep.
----
“Hello, this is a delivery for Tiffany Hwang.” Taeyeon accepted the big bulky box presented to her, and then she set down the box on the counter.
“If you can sign right here, I can be on my way.” The attendant said to her and offered her a clipboard with a pen.
“Thank you! The cake won’t melt or anything so it can stay outside the refrigerator.”
After signing, she bowed and the attendant bowed back. Taeyeon then closed the door and diverted her attention to the huge box.
The Christmas log was huge and it made her wonder how much Tiffany paid for such a big treat like this. She was not a big fan of sweets but this looked so appealing that she wanted to taste some of it.
When she heard the clock ring to the hour, she checked the time. It was exactly 9:00 A.M. and she thought about cooking the two of them something to eat for breakfast. Tiffany was still in bed, sleeping so she wanted to surprise her with a Christmas breakfast in bed.
She opened the freezer and saw meat that she had bought the day before and thought that it could do. Taeyeon scrambled eggs, cooked bacon, and even juiced orange for Tiffany.
When she was done, Tiffany already walked through the kitchen door.
“Good morning, Taeyeon.”
“He-hey!” She was so startled that she almost dropped the eggs on the floor. “You’re up early.”
“It’s almost 10.”
“I guess.”
It was then that Taeyeon gave up on the dinner and set it on the dining table instead.
“Tiffany brought out dining utensils and waited for Taeyeon to sit down on the table with her.” Taeyeon smiled and Tiffany smiled back.
“Your heavy log came.” She pointed at the huge box on the counter.
“I’m excited to eat it.” Tiffany smirked.
“Me too.”
“No, you can’t have some.” Tiffany commanded with sternness in her voice.
“We’ll see.”
---
After their brunch, Tiffany lounged on their sofa while watching a Christmas special going on. Taeyeon was in the shower, perhaps getting ready to head on out to work, and Tiffany felt sadness again. The meal they shared together felt special because it was as if they had no restraint in time. Taeyeon usually left the house as early as 7 A.M. and Tiffany had to be out by 8 to beat rush hour. Today, they both had woken later than usual and took their time eating. It was already 11 when they finished, and it wouldn’t have been cut short if Taeyeon didn’t complain about wanting to shower.
For Tiffany, she thought of that as a sign that Taeyeon had to go to work. She wanted to stop her but she didn’t have the heart to. Christmas was a celebration of thanks, and it would be selfish of her to just stop Taeyeon from doing what she wanted.
“What are you doing for Christmas eve?” The announcer from the show asked a girl, maybe not far from her age.
“I’m spending it with my boyfriend.”
“Ahh… isn’t that nice?”
“Ahh you’re so lucky…” Tiffany said to nothing in particular. She wanted the same thing from Taeyeon, to say the same thing as that.
“Who’s lucky?” Taeyeon sat down next to her and dried her hair with a towel.
She jumped on her seat after hearing Taeyeon’s voice but what was more startling was that Taeyeon was in his boxer shorts.
“I thought you were going to work.”
“Yes, in an hour or two.”
Taeyeon stood up and went closer to Tiffany. Then she kissed her girlfriend on the cheek.
“Go shower.”
“Aigoo. Fine,” She sighed in defeat. Tiffany on the inside was relieved that she had more time to spend with Taeyeon.
“Assa!” She heard Taeyeon say after she left the living room. Maybe Cunning Man, Taeyeon’s favorite show, is on.
“Pani-ah, hurry up. Cunning Man is on!”
Taeyeon did nothing special but for some odd reason, Tiffany couldn’t stop smiling.
---
“You wanna watch a movie?” Taeyeon looked through their DVD box.
“Okay.” Tiffany smiled.
They popped in an American movie and sat closely together. Tiffany was somehow really close that she desired Taeyeon’s lips all of a sudden. She gently gave Taeyeon a peck on the lips. Taeyeon blushed and smiled at her and then kissed her gently.
When she was about to break the kiss off, Tiffany already locked her in an embrace.
“I missed your lips so I can’t let you get away that easily.” Tiffany said to her and it made her smile. She kissed Tiffany a bit more and upon feeling Tiffany’s arm wrap around her body closer, she felt more and more encouraged to go on. But just when she was about to proceed, Tiffany pulled away.
“Can we do this some other time? It doesn’t seem so appropriate being Christmas and all.”
Taeyeon smiled. It wasn’t really a big deal for her that Tiffany refused and what they did was more than satisfying. She kissed Tiffany on the cheek and held her hand while they continued to watch the movie, gently tugging the girl to cuddle with her. They haven’t done this for so long and it felt like pure bliss to be together again.
“I missed you so much.” Tiffany said while starting to doze off. Taeyeon who had no choice, dozed off too.
--
“Ta-taetae!” She woke up with Tiffany’s scream. She rubbed her eyes and adjusted her vision to the girl that shook her a few moments ago.
“Waewae?” Taeyeon asked her groggily.
“Look at the time; you’re gonna be late,” Tiffany exclaimed. Taeyeon looked at the clock and realized that it was already 7 pm. Tiffany worriedly held Taeyeon’s hand and showed much concern to her. Taeyeon then gave her a slightly mechanical smile, and Tiffany felt puzzled by it.
“Why are you smiling?” Tiffany slapped Taeyeon’s arm.
Taeyeon went silent for almost a minute that had Tiffany worrying. She heard nothing but the clock ticking seconds away and she felt guilty for even falling asleep when Taeyeon was supposed to be working.
“Well then, I think I’m gonna get fired tomorrow.” Taeyeon pulled her up by the hand and took her to the kitchen. “Why don’t we celebrate by making dinner together?”
“Tiffany raised her eyebrows, totally confused with what just happened. Taeyeon, stomaching in the loss of her job, was just unheard of. Usually, Taeyeon was someone that wouldn’t let go of something without a fight, and here she was, treating her job as if it was nothing.
Tiffany let go of Taeyeon’s grip and looked straight looked straight into Taeyeon’s eyes, “Are you really okay?”
Taeyeon smiled at her, and it was an assuring smile. Tiffany almost sighed for relief but held her breath until Taeyeon would confirm.
“Really, I’m okay.” Taeyeon smiled. Then she opened the fridge and looked around its contents.
“Now what would you like for dinner?”
--
By the time they were done eating dinner, it was already 11 P.M. They talked for a long period of time, and Tiffany felt that it was the best Christmas she’s ever had. Tiffany was overjoyed. Over the past few years, she’s gotten too wasted or drunk to even reach Christmas, and here she was, alcohol-free and having the happiest Christmas yet.
But when Taeyeon took out the log cake, she felt a bit guilty for what she’s done.
“Taeyeon, I’m sorry for what I did. I was selfish and only cared about myself without accommodating to your needs. I bought the log cake because I somehow wanted to show you what you were missing out on.”
She lowered her head and avoided Taeyeon’s gaze. She was about to cry when she felt Taeyeon’s hand hold hers.
“It’s okay. Really, it’s okay. What’s important is that where together right now.” Taeyeon gave the cake knife to Tiffany. “Now, would you like to cut the cake?”
Tiffany wiped her face with a napkin and took the knife. She sliced a piece for herself and a piece for Taeyeon, the humungous log cake had at least four layers inside.
Tiffany shyly smiled and blushed, when Taeyeon held her hand.
“I love you,” Taeyeon said.
They heard the clock ring on the hour and when they looked it was already midnight.
“Merry Christmas,” Taeyeon smiled to Tiffany after taking out a small box. Tiffany let go of Taeyeon’s hand, and she proceeded to the bedroom to get her own present. They exchanged gifts.
Tiffany opened the box Taeyeon gave her and saw a watch neatly tucked inside it. She smiled, and Taeyeon smiled back. The watch was pretty and definitely something she would wear, especially on special occasions.
“Is this why you’ve been working overtime?”
“Maybe?” Taeyeon gave her a smug smile. “Do you like it?”
“A lot.” Tiffany smiled back, showing her radiant smile to the fullest. “Open yours.”
Taeyeon then diverted her attention to her own present, a small notebook. She flipped through the pages and saw every page already filled with Tiffany’s handwriting. Some pages were already worn out, but still intact.
“What’s this?” She asked Tiffany.
“Every single entry was a time when I missed you ever since we met.” Tiffany replied. “Sorry, I wasn’t sure what to get you.”
Taeyeon smiled back at her and then looked at the last entry that Tiffany wrote; it talked about how annoyed Tiffany was about Taeyeon’s busy schedule and her job, how hurt Tiffany was that Taeyeon chose her job over a Christmas with her girlfriend, and how she wanted her to quit her job and just stay home for her.
Taeyeon felt remorse, and started a confession of her own.
“Well, the truth is, the reason that I’ve been busy the past few days was because I wanted to spend time with you. I finished all my schedules early just so I could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with you. I wanted to surprise you, and I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I figured that it would be more special if you found out at the last minute, and I’m sorry if I put you through that.”
Taeyeon kissed Tiffany’s hand, and they heard the sound of fireworks outside. It wasn’t such a grand Christmas, but the fact that they spent it together was worthwhile. Taeyeon was right where she wanted, and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Their Christmas was perhaps the most perfect one they’ve had so far, and it made them fall in love with each other a little bit more.
While staying in the hug, Tiffany whispered to Taeyeon.
“Were you serious about you losing your job earlier?”
Taeyeon could only smile as she was speechless.
“Yah…Taetae…” Tiffany pouted.
But still, Taeyeon did not reply.
“Yah…please?”
Still, nothing.
“Please…please…”
Taeyeon couldn’t help but finally give in.
“Fine. Tomorrow morning, I’m all yours.”
“Fine. Tomorrow morning, I’m all yours.”
“You forgot to add something to that.” Tiffany added.
“Waewae?”
“Boss.”
---
I hope to see you guys soon?