[1.2] Existence
1.2
Jessica picked up her glass of wine and smiled at Yuri.
“Did I say something funny?” Yuri asked as she felt slightly bothered with Jessica’s reaction to what she just said.
“No, I’m excited for you. She’s a nice girl.” Jessica said. “She can be a bit fierce but I’m sure you can handle her.”
“How did you even end up talking about that?”
“She was the one that helped me land this job. We go way back from high school but we lost in touch in college until a few months ago. We used to be close until she started working hard and I started working less. We caught up a few days back and she's still as much of a diva as she was in college. But she's nice, I’m sure you’ll enjoy her company, Yuri.”
Yuri lifted her glass and took a sip. She honestly wasn’t sure what to expect with Tiffany, especially with the fact that she knows nothing about her. Yuri has seen her a few times and they’ve made small talk before but nothing stood out with their conversations. Tiffany seemed to be out during lunch and Yuri had no idea that Tiffany even saw her like that. Thinking about the girl that brought her attention to the subject, Yuri diverted her gaze at Jessica, which she realized she barely knew anything about. Where did Jessica grow up? Why is she in Seoul, and more importantly, why did Jessica pursue their friendship?
“Is there anything you wanna talk about? Are you originally from Seoul?”
“Well, I grew up in the US until I was 12 and moved here. Ever since then I’ve been living in Seoul.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you’re American.”
“I identify with both, perhaps a bit more Korean than American.”
“Ladies, these are compliments from the chef.” The waiter said as he set down two luscious desserts on the table. A pile of raspberry macarons, two ramekins of crème brûlée and two glasses of sparkling Rosé was served. “We hope that you enjoyed our food this evening.”
“Thank you very much.” Yuri said in gratitude. The desserts were quite a spread and she didn’t know how or why they received the wonderful gifts to begin with. Maybe the chef was thinking that they were here to pick guys up. Jessica seemed to not take notice as she looked around at the elaborate presentation. Yuri looked at the waiter who seemed proud of what his boss had created.
“Please let the chef know we’re very thankful.”
“I shall.”
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They finally exited the restaurant with a slight buzz from all the wine they had consumed. Yuri had a wonderful time with Jessica and walking on the cool concrete in the middle of spring; it felt good to be out late for once. They saw the dazzling skyline of Seoul from a distance, which was free from all the noise of the metropolitan nightlife.
“Thanks for all this Yuri.” Jessica said in response to the serene silence.
“It was my pleasure.” Yuri responded as they walked towards the subway station. It was indeed something she enjoyed, and she thought that she wouldn’t mind going out like that again.
She followed Jessica from behind and for some odd reason, she felt the small hole of hollowness coming back again. She thought that maybe it was because the idea of returning to? her house equated with going back to work the day after, doing the same mundane things again. Essentially, it meant that this newfound joy that she’s experienced tonight would be lost again.
It almost felt like she had lost herself to panic but she tried her best to gain composure.
Jessica stopped on her tracks that caused Yuri's thoughts to go back to present times. Jessica looked and observed Yuri from head to toe. Being unsure of what Jessica intended, Yuri raised her brows.
“Nothing, I was just thinking of how well dressed you look right now.” Jessica said and walked next to Yuri. “If we weren’t required to wear those pesky uniforms at work, I think a lot of guys would keep on hounding you.”
“I think their interest died a long time ago. Before I even got there.” She laughed. The thought of the guys at work always had a slight hint of disgust from Yuri. They were similar to how the guys from her high school and as well as college acted around her. They were only nice to her at first but upon realizing her monotony, they easily discarded her company when there was a new girl on the horizon. Now it was happening with Jessica.
“I’ve actually been wanting to ask. Do you like any of them right now?” Yuri asked.
“Are you asking about the guys at work or are you really asking if I’m seeing anyone right now?”
“Hm either, or?” Yuri said without any hesitation. The last line almost sounded slightly intimate but she thought that Jessica probably wouldn’t even be interested in her. The fact that they’ve only been friends for less than a month and that Jessica had just set her up with a date of Tiffany had made the possibility of Jessica being fond of her romantically, a false presumption. Even if the kiss happened, Jessica was under the influence of alcohol-which can make any person’s actions questionable.
“I don’t think I’ll be interested in dating for a while.”
They have now arrived at the train platform. The air had already started to become slightly chilly and the flickering of the fluorescent light was their only companion. The air felt lonely and not being able to find any words to say, Yuri let the silence speak for her.
“Around six months ago someone broke my heart.”
“I’m so sorry for bringing it up.” She genuinely felt bad. Yuri did not intend to pry on open wounds and Jessica being sad was the last thing she’d ever want for the night.
“It’s okay. I’m fine. I just don’t think I’d like to commit in anything right now. I’m enjoying this new job, new company, and well honestly, I’m happy with the fact that I’m living with you and not some shallow girl that only talks about guys and fashion. It’s different, very refreshing from before.”
“You like living with me?”
“You’re a good person, Yuri. You were kind enough to let me, a total stranger, to live with you. I’m greatly indebted. ” Jessica said sincerely and she has never heard of anyone talk to her like that. She could feel Jessica’s authenticity and she was quite thankful for that. More and more, her fondness of Jessica continued to flourish. “Look, I’ve been thinking about this for a good amount of time now and I’m really sorry. I took advantage of you that night but all we did was kiss and nothing more. I couldn’t let it continue because I realized that didn’t want to abuse your kindness. I felt like you deserved more than just something like that. I’m so sorry I stole your first kiss.”
Yuri was surprised at the sudden confession but things became clear now. Jessica had given her side of the story but to begin with-that night wasn’t even something she regretted. The fact that they were still intoxicated with alcohol didn’t change and that things like that can easily happen. She gave a smile to Jessica in hopes that Jessica wouldn’t take it on herself too much. It was an honest mistake.
“I didn’t have any regrets. It was an honest mistake.” Yuri said softly to comfort her. She enjoyed her conversations with Jessica that she looked forward to spending more time with her as the days go by. “I don’t have any experience with a lot of things but I didn’t regret what happened.”
The loudspeaker from the train platform started to sound, signaling that the train was arriving. The train barely had people in it and as it came to a full stop, Yuri felt like the so-called date that they were having was now coming to an end. So in an attempt to finish up their play along, and hopefully to cheer Jessica up, Yuri took Jessica’s hand and planted a kiss on it..
“I had a lovely time, Ms. Jung.”
Yuri smiled as she stood up and approached the edge of the platform to enter the slowed down train. She knew quite well that Jessica didn’t expect the gesture but there was nothing else she wanted to do. In a way, it was to show that she did have a playful side despite not being as full-fledged as Jessica’s. She also reasoned that she did it to get Jessica’s mind off of regret/guilt?.
At first, she admits that the kiss did confuse her. But as time went by, it wasn’t a big of a deal anymore. Their friendship still went on as if it never happened and there wasn’t anything bad that came out of it. It was never awkward, depressing or heartbreaking in any way.
When Yuri looked behind, she saw Jessica wearing a slight blush-probably from what she did. Jessica looked down and finally went to her side while wearing an almost instantaneous smile.
“Yah.” Jessica said while lightly punching her arm. “That caught me off guard!”
“Says the girl that wanted to charm my dress off?”
“Sicko!”
They went inside the train with Yuri bearing smiles all around. Yuri had won against the elusive Jessica.
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