[Ten]Downfall.
Okay, PDF is available and a Yulsic version of the fic is also available. Initially, I outlined this as Yulsic but as I was writing I put yulti.
HERE.
I thank you. Thank you for reading this and I hope you will like the ending. Long author's note is presented after the story and it will explain the ambiguous parts of the fic.
One thing I would like to announce is that I am working on a new title, similar to Downfall. It will not be as deep but it gives off the same distinct aura. A preview of what I've been working on, the the tagline is:
God knows I don't want to be an angel.
I really have no idea when I will write it, given the fact that ideas for other fics are flooding my mind as well.
Well, I think this is it. Without further ado, I present to you the concluding act for Downfall.
Again, I cannot thank you enough for your support in reading this fanfiction. Thank you and enjoy the show!
Ten. Downfall.
Graduation is dawning and I haven’t been to school ever since the play.
I go to the campus bookstore to pick up my graduation uniform and return some of the books I rented.
After that incident, people have been continuously talking about me and my performance for last week’s play.
I received several offers from different acting companies and they said that my “acting” was very well executed and the adlib that I did in the end was something unexpected and it looked very real. Ironic as it sounds, it looked so real because it was real.
Walking around campus, I feel nostalgic of my early days as a freshman and now there are only two days until I get my degree. I remember it like it was yesterday, when I was a freshman with an undecided major. I took all my core requirements and on my last semester of completing them, I stumbled upon theatre.
It was the class that I looked forward to everyday and then I finally chose it because I had no choice since my university wanted me to declare a major.
I see the room that I had my orientation in, the classroom where I took my hardest class and almost failed, the place where I kissed my first boyfriend in college. I feel really sad that I’m leaving because I got so many experiences from this school.
But sometimes beautiful things need to come to an end right?
I bid my final goodbyes to my professors and lowerclassmen, and I thank them deeply.
Yuri, can our last conversation be bittersweet like this too?
-----------------------------------
I see Yuri again while I sit on the campus’ café and she’s not with her girlfriend. She’s sitting on a chair and I see put her hands over her face with her elbows resting on her lap. She stays in this position, her breathing looks slow and I think she’s crying. I can’t stand seeing her like this.
I stand up, determined to approach her and hold her. Even if I’m not the best person she wants to see right now, I would like to be the one that comforts her, even just for a little bit.
I walk to her direction and I see that girl, the girl that told me everything that Yuri did, sit next to her and console her.
“Yuri, it’s okay.” She says while rubbing Yuri’s back.
I really feel unwanted.
“I don’t know if I made the right choice.” Yuri replies back to her.
What happened?
“You didn’t love her, if you let her stay with you then she would have been hurt more because it was all one sided.”
She broke up with her girlfriend?
“I’m sorry, Yoona. For burdening you like this.”
“It’s okay. You’re my bestfriend.”
Then I see them hug.
I should be happy with her breaking up with her girlfriend but I’m not. It is because again, even if it’s not direct, I know that I’m the one that is causing her pain.
Feeling the rush of hurt onto my chest, I think I’m going to run away.
Run away so that my presence won’t hurt her anymore.
I will never see her again and this will be my way of saying goodbye.
-----------------------------------
It’s graduation day and I find out that she is the one delivering the class speech.
Looking at her appearance, she seems better than before but I can’t fully say that she’s back to normal.
Am I still causing you pain?
I listen intently to her and she talks about her career as an undergraduate, blessed with accomplishments and opportunities. She says all these things, things that I never knew about her. During her speech, although she is not charismatic or witty with her words, or actions, one can really tell that she’s bright and eloquent from the way she carries herself while she talks.
With her closing, she challenges our class to live freely and chase our most wildest dreams, though factors might affect us. She states that it is the experience that counts in the long run.
Seeing her step down from the podium, I feel warmth and happiness with her words and I guess this is what I’ve been waiting for, a bittersweet goodbye.
We throw our caps in the air and everyone is cheers us on.
I get several gifts and complements as I go around greeting my friends. I wander around to give my congratulations to my fellow graduates and I see Seohyun again. She gives me a hug and I am quite surprised at her actions, despite of what I have done for her.
“I’m sorry for everything.” I tell her. I feel ashamed at my previous actions.
“I understand. Thank you for explaining everything in the note. Congratulations on graduating.” She tells me as she still has that kind smile she greeted me months ago.
“Thanks.”
We spend several minutes talking about my plans after graduating and she finally bids goodbye. I feel warm and happy, as the burden of guilt was removed from me. I never expected her to react in such a way that she did.
As I reminisce, someone then approaches me and she talks about my performance in the play. I smile and I look at her as she walked away to talk to other people.
In the midst of all this, her mention of the play awakened the incident where I changed the lines.
I guess the reason I keep on remembering it is because I that I wished Yuri tried to change our ending like I did.
But in all honesty, her responses only proved that I was too late to accept her feelings.
With this, I have nothing left to say but goodbye.
-----------------------------------
-Yuri’s point of view, commence-
I accept the praises and complements from my professors and classmates for delivering the speech and being number one for the class.
All these encouragements are rewards that are supposed to flatter me but in reality, they make me emptier than I am now; all it is really doing is increasing the gap between me and my other colleagues.
I see Yoona approach me with a sincere smile.
“We’re finally here.” She says.
“Yeah. Thanks for being there all this time.” I give her a tender smile.
“Of course. Congratulations and I’ll really miss you.”
Then she leans in for a tight hug. She will be leaving the country in a few days and she will train for at least one year before coming back. This will probably be our last encounter for a while.
“Yoona…” I say after being enveloped in the lengthy hug.
“Yes, Yuri?”
“Please don’t hate me if I do something stupid.” I whisper to her and I break away from the hug.
After I said those words, I walk away without turning my back to face her.
I hear nothing as her reply but I know she is looking at me with confusion in her eyes.
I start to look around and I aimlessly walk to one part of the school grounds.
As I head off, I let out an inner laugh while I finding the irony in all this. Similar to the great figures of time, I am facing the end of my own regime.
Be it not by death or by impeachment, I have lost my position I held ever so tightly.
My schemes of vengeance and hate have all been obliterated that I become the last combatant in the theatre of war; forced to wave the white flag to admit defeat.
My losing has been unexpected but this is the bitter end. I am left with nothing and any form of resistance is futile.
I finally see her, the one I have been longing for all this time; and one that hurt me and has enslaved my heart.
Amidst of the entire crowd, she sees me and looks back with a smile. I slowly make my way to the crowd to approach her.
I now stand in front of her and I trace her face with my own fingers. I gaze upon her beauty. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to annihilate this deity. I am nothing but a mere human, solely blessed with earthly abilities.
I tilt her chin with my index finger and she does nothing but comply.
I lean in, and I look at her features in the process as I anticipate our physical contact with each other.
Beautiful, ethereal, deceiving.
Our lips touch and electrical impulses go through my body. Her kiss is breaking me that I will become lost in my own thoughts if I do not stop.
I release her from my kiss and I put my hands around her and hold her. Just like myself, she is trembling.
“I love you.” I say.
I am finally accepting my defeat and all my efforts of resisting have gone to oblivion.
My actions of denial masked as hate, are now revealed as I become transparent to her.
This is my bitter ending, but I never thought that death can be this sweet.
I feel my heart pace with excitement as I feel something die inside me.
Is reprisal supposed to feel this grand? Or am I just lost in a delusion of grandeur?
I am removing all my doubts and I will cast away any notion of escape. Just like how she stood in the limelight, I too, myself must play my part.
This will become my defining moment, my final memory.
This is it.
My downfall.
“Now imprison me.”
-end.
----------------------------------------
[07.11.10]
Estimated Time of Death: 12am.
----------------------------------------
Author’s Notes.
Okay, finally done. Go read the Prologue and it's actually Yuri's! She said not to give in to Tiffany as it would be her downfall! Now, take a deep breath or a break before you read this. You might need it from the aftershock of reading the finale.
Let's go back to Act 1, when Yuri first saw Tiffany. From that day on, she referred to Tiffany as "she/her". This comes to show that she felt a connection that she gives specificity to her that she even addresses her like she's talking about the only person on earth. It was fate as they met in her professor's office and it was the start of their odd relationship. Then she has the dream, foreshadowing the emotions that she took in act 5 and beyond, which had the notion of pain and suffering, both mixed with hate and vengeance towards Tiffany.
The reason why Yoona warned her to be careful was because she saw through Yuri's explanation. We as readers will not be able to understand this, because we are trapped in Yuri's thoughts and it is the only way that we can perceive the external world. Yoona, coming from a different perspective, saw the situation in a different light and she identified Tiffany as nothing but trouble for Yuri.
Without even giving Yuri a chance to explain, Tiffany rejected the notion of Yuri falling in love with her because regardless of how long they were together it's not like they agreed upon love as one of the things they shared. Unconsciously she was becoming attached to Yuri and involuntarily fueled the feeling of love that Yuri had for her. She shuns these thoughts of love away since society's norms contradict her feelings that she tries to correct herself, saying that it was all a misunderstanding. When they did it, perhaps Tiffany felt something but she knew better. Not a lot of people fall in love with a one night stand and Tiffany felt that they shouldn't be an exception. She disregarded her feelings as merely from lust while Yuri did what Tiffany avoided, she mistook it as love. Tiffany becomes annoyed as she knew that this was highly irrational so she rejected her until Yuri finally breaks and avoids her. She is then left in the dark, figuring out what really happened to Yuri.
Not really knowing the consequence of her actions, she goes to see Yuri again, only to find herself constantly rejected until Yoona comes along and hits her with the truth. She was unaware and she felt remorse for what she has done. She claims that she is not satisfied to only ask for forgiveness, but she wants more than that if possible. She wants to restore the friendship but she wants it to be stronger and longer than it ever was before. But she also says that it is not love, because she is fixated with the idea that love has it's symptoms that makes you feel nervous or makes you flutter.
Seohyun is just part of Yuri's club, they don't really know each other. Tiffany just mistaken her as Yuri and that's how they knew each other. With that fact, she took the similarities as signs, to reassure herself of what she was feeling was not love and with that she rationalized. Not being fully convinced, she retraced her steps as the circumstances allowed her to do so, just so that she could prove to herself that her assumptions are right. However, it got the best of her since it backfired, revealing her real feelings for Yuri that all along, her feelings were all what she feared them to be.
Tiffany's personality, she's one of those people that do not think of the consequences that much or does not even take it into account when she makes decisions. I mean with both Yuri and Seohyun, she knew the risks of her act but still, she went through both and most notably with Yuri because she really assumed that things would be okay as she tried to ignore the harsh reality of every possible consequence from the act that she commited with Yuri. With Seo, it's almost the same but she sends out the letter, trying to explain her actions but all of us knew that it may not be enough.
Sad to say but Tiffany's love for Yuri was certainly not love at first sight, and if it was, it was all from her unconscious mind.
After her act with Seohyun, she realizes her true feelings but she is too late. She already knew the damage that Yuri has done but regardless, she still tried. Tried hard to ask for that small chance of forgiveness but she understood that there was a big chance for rejection. She pretty much knew that Yuri wouldn't let her off the hook that easily but she again, took the risks and she got hurt. During the play, when she saw Yuri, she found herself desperate that she said all the things she wanted Yuri to hear. Seeing Yuri leave, she started to see that being with Yuri would be a losing battle.
Hearing that Yuri broke up with her girlfriend, although she felt happy, she felt out of place in Yuri's life. If she didn't meet Yuri, then maybe Yuri would never have been hurt like this. It was all her fault that she decided to walk away and never trying to see Yuri again. During graduation, she still carried her hurt heart as she looked at Yuri. Not wanting to break her promise of not seeing Yuri again, she made this her own closure which was in it's own way, bittersweet.
As Yuri advanced towards the crowd to approach her, we can only conclude that she is confused with the events taking place. If I were to stay in Tiffany's pov at that time, it would make the fic ambiguous and I believe this shows the true potential of writing in a first person view. She does not understand, and we wouldn't either, why Yuri did all those things to her and most importantly, why she said "now imprison me" in the end.
-----------------------------------
When Yuri took those thoughts in Chapter 5, I was left with two options, make Yuri psychotic or make her depressed and sad towards Tiffany.
I chose the latter but I only realized that it was really a mix of both. True, she hated Tiffany for everything she has done to her and she wanted revenge but she was always pulled back by her old emotions. The suicide, instead of hurting Tiffany, she tried to hurt herself because of her love for her. If she truly hated Tiffany, she never would have responded to the text, never would have cried in front of her as Tiffany asked about her girlfriend and she never would've cried when they kissed and if it was possible, never would have interacted with her.
During these moments, she fought all of her feelings, taking what she said in the prologue, into consideration.
It took so much strength and effort for Yuri to shun Tiffany away while saying that she should be the one chasing her but all Yuri's acts of resistance were already taking a toll in Tiffany's life, though they were all failed attempts for her revenge.
The play, she went to observe Tiffany and as she saw Tiffany change the words, she knew it was for her. She became hurt at the state that Tiffany was in and hearing one more word from that play would surely destroy her. And the sad reality was she really did get scarred at that moment. She broke up with her girlfriend and her hateful self was beginning to go away that was the sign of her surrendering. Her girlfriend didn't have a name simply because she was insignificant to this entire thing. She was a tool for Yuri to ease what Tiffany has done while she dealt with her vengeance but she was not enough. Breaking up with her, she felt sad, as if she was back to her old self. She was breaking away from her oath from act 5.
Graduation finally comes and she knew it was the right moment. Just in the nick of time, when Tiffany let go, she was able to capture her. She released all the hate that she was feeling she admitted defeat towards Tiffany's love and she embraced her downfall.
I cannot tell you what comes next after this so I'm sorry!
-----------------------------------
I would like to thank all my beta readers and as well as my former best friend(?). I wrote this for her and it's not like I wrote it for love but I thought of this story as I felt symptoms of our fallout, a few weeks ago. I have realized that there is nothing worth fighting for in terms of her and I have to face the truth that she doesn't quite value our friendship like I do. So I let go and maybe we'll become friends again but if not, oh well. I let her read this and she hated it simply because it was not complex enough for her. Maybe I long for her downfall too? Perhaps.
But I hope you guys did like the fic! I myself hate tragic endings, especially for love stories since I am a romantic myself.
Praises for the fic, I will highly appreciate it if you guys contact me. If you hated it too, do not hesitate to say so.
I know I am not a very well developed writer but I am learning day by day.
Thanks for reading.
-------------------------------
HERE.
I thank you. Thank you for reading this and I hope you will like the ending. Long author's note is presented after the story and it will explain the ambiguous parts of the fic.
One thing I would like to announce is that I am working on a new title, similar to Downfall. It will not be as deep but it gives off the same distinct aura. A preview of what I've been working on, the the tagline is:
God knows I don't want to be an angel.
I really have no idea when I will write it, given the fact that ideas for other fics are flooding my mind as well.
Well, I think this is it. Without further ado, I present to you the concluding act for Downfall.
Again, I cannot thank you enough for your support in reading this fanfiction. Thank you and enjoy the show!
Ten. Downfall.
Graduation is dawning and I haven’t been to school ever since the play.
I go to the campus bookstore to pick up my graduation uniform and return some of the books I rented.
After that incident, people have been continuously talking about me and my performance for last week’s play.
I received several offers from different acting companies and they said that my “acting” was very well executed and the adlib that I did in the end was something unexpected and it looked very real. Ironic as it sounds, it looked so real because it was real.
Walking around campus, I feel nostalgic of my early days as a freshman and now there are only two days until I get my degree. I remember it like it was yesterday, when I was a freshman with an undecided major. I took all my core requirements and on my last semester of completing them, I stumbled upon theatre.
It was the class that I looked forward to everyday and then I finally chose it because I had no choice since my university wanted me to declare a major.
I see the room that I had my orientation in, the classroom where I took my hardest class and almost failed, the place where I kissed my first boyfriend in college. I feel really sad that I’m leaving because I got so many experiences from this school.
But sometimes beautiful things need to come to an end right?
I bid my final goodbyes to my professors and lowerclassmen, and I thank them deeply.
Yuri, can our last conversation be bittersweet like this too?
-----------------------------------
I see Yuri again while I sit on the campus’ café and she’s not with her girlfriend. She’s sitting on a chair and I see put her hands over her face with her elbows resting on her lap. She stays in this position, her breathing looks slow and I think she’s crying. I can’t stand seeing her like this.
I stand up, determined to approach her and hold her. Even if I’m not the best person she wants to see right now, I would like to be the one that comforts her, even just for a little bit.
I walk to her direction and I see that girl, the girl that told me everything that Yuri did, sit next to her and console her.
“Yuri, it’s okay.” She says while rubbing Yuri’s back.
I really feel unwanted.
“I don’t know if I made the right choice.” Yuri replies back to her.
What happened?
“You didn’t love her, if you let her stay with you then she would have been hurt more because it was all one sided.”
She broke up with her girlfriend?
“I’m sorry, Yoona. For burdening you like this.”
“It’s okay. You’re my bestfriend.”
Then I see them hug.
I should be happy with her breaking up with her girlfriend but I’m not. It is because again, even if it’s not direct, I know that I’m the one that is causing her pain.
Feeling the rush of hurt onto my chest, I think I’m going to run away.
Run away so that my presence won’t hurt her anymore.
I will never see her again and this will be my way of saying goodbye.
-----------------------------------
It’s graduation day and I find out that she is the one delivering the class speech.
Looking at her appearance, she seems better than before but I can’t fully say that she’s back to normal.
Am I still causing you pain?
I listen intently to her and she talks about her career as an undergraduate, blessed with accomplishments and opportunities. She says all these things, things that I never knew about her. During her speech, although she is not charismatic or witty with her words, or actions, one can really tell that she’s bright and eloquent from the way she carries herself while she talks.
With her closing, she challenges our class to live freely and chase our most wildest dreams, though factors might affect us. She states that it is the experience that counts in the long run.
Seeing her step down from the podium, I feel warmth and happiness with her words and I guess this is what I’ve been waiting for, a bittersweet goodbye.
We throw our caps in the air and everyone is cheers us on.
I get several gifts and complements as I go around greeting my friends. I wander around to give my congratulations to my fellow graduates and I see Seohyun again. She gives me a hug and I am quite surprised at her actions, despite of what I have done for her.
“I’m sorry for everything.” I tell her. I feel ashamed at my previous actions.
“I understand. Thank you for explaining everything in the note. Congratulations on graduating.” She tells me as she still has that kind smile she greeted me months ago.
“Thanks.”
We spend several minutes talking about my plans after graduating and she finally bids goodbye. I feel warm and happy, as the burden of guilt was removed from me. I never expected her to react in such a way that she did.
As I reminisce, someone then approaches me and she talks about my performance in the play. I smile and I look at her as she walked away to talk to other people.
In the midst of all this, her mention of the play awakened the incident where I changed the lines.
I guess the reason I keep on remembering it is because I that I wished Yuri tried to change our ending like I did.
But in all honesty, her responses only proved that I was too late to accept her feelings.
With this, I have nothing left to say but goodbye.
-----------------------------------
-Yuri’s point of view, commence-
I accept the praises and complements from my professors and classmates for delivering the speech and being number one for the class.
All these encouragements are rewards that are supposed to flatter me but in reality, they make me emptier than I am now; all it is really doing is increasing the gap between me and my other colleagues.
I see Yoona approach me with a sincere smile.
“We’re finally here.” She says.
“Yeah. Thanks for being there all this time.” I give her a tender smile.
“Of course. Congratulations and I’ll really miss you.”
Then she leans in for a tight hug. She will be leaving the country in a few days and she will train for at least one year before coming back. This will probably be our last encounter for a while.
“Yoona…” I say after being enveloped in the lengthy hug.
“Yes, Yuri?”
“Please don’t hate me if I do something stupid.” I whisper to her and I break away from the hug.
After I said those words, I walk away without turning my back to face her.
I hear nothing as her reply but I know she is looking at me with confusion in her eyes.
I start to look around and I aimlessly walk to one part of the school grounds.
As I head off, I let out an inner laugh while I finding the irony in all this. Similar to the great figures of time, I am facing the end of my own regime.
Be it not by death or by impeachment, I have lost my position I held ever so tightly.
My schemes of vengeance and hate have all been obliterated that I become the last combatant in the theatre of war; forced to wave the white flag to admit defeat.
My losing has been unexpected but this is the bitter end. I am left with nothing and any form of resistance is futile.
I finally see her, the one I have been longing for all this time; and one that hurt me and has enslaved my heart.
Amidst of the entire crowd, she sees me and looks back with a smile. I slowly make my way to the crowd to approach her.
I now stand in front of her and I trace her face with my own fingers. I gaze upon her beauty. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to annihilate this deity. I am nothing but a mere human, solely blessed with earthly abilities.
I tilt her chin with my index finger and she does nothing but comply.
I lean in, and I look at her features in the process as I anticipate our physical contact with each other.
Beautiful, ethereal, deceiving.
Our lips touch and electrical impulses go through my body. Her kiss is breaking me that I will become lost in my own thoughts if I do not stop.
I release her from my kiss and I put my hands around her and hold her. Just like myself, she is trembling.
“I love you.” I say.
I am finally accepting my defeat and all my efforts of resisting have gone to oblivion.
My actions of denial masked as hate, are now revealed as I become transparent to her.
This is my bitter ending, but I never thought that death can be this sweet.
I feel my heart pace with excitement as I feel something die inside me.
Is reprisal supposed to feel this grand? Or am I just lost in a delusion of grandeur?
I am removing all my doubts and I will cast away any notion of escape. Just like how she stood in the limelight, I too, myself must play my part.
This will become my defining moment, my final memory.
This is it.
My downfall.
“Now imprison me.”
-end.
----------------------------------------
[07.11.10]
Estimated Time of Death: 12am.
----------------------------------------
Author’s Notes.
Okay, finally done. Go read the Prologue and it's actually Yuri's! She said not to give in to Tiffany as it would be her downfall! Now, take a deep breath or a break before you read this. You might need it from the aftershock of reading the finale.
Let's go back to Act 1, when Yuri first saw Tiffany. From that day on, she referred to Tiffany as "she/her". This comes to show that she felt a connection that she gives specificity to her that she even addresses her like she's talking about the only person on earth. It was fate as they met in her professor's office and it was the start of their odd relationship. Then she has the dream, foreshadowing the emotions that she took in act 5 and beyond, which had the notion of pain and suffering, both mixed with hate and vengeance towards Tiffany.
The reason why Yoona warned her to be careful was because she saw through Yuri's explanation. We as readers will not be able to understand this, because we are trapped in Yuri's thoughts and it is the only way that we can perceive the external world. Yoona, coming from a different perspective, saw the situation in a different light and she identified Tiffany as nothing but trouble for Yuri.
Without even giving Yuri a chance to explain, Tiffany rejected the notion of Yuri falling in love with her because regardless of how long they were together it's not like they agreed upon love as one of the things they shared. Unconsciously she was becoming attached to Yuri and involuntarily fueled the feeling of love that Yuri had for her. She shuns these thoughts of love away since society's norms contradict her feelings that she tries to correct herself, saying that it was all a misunderstanding. When they did it, perhaps Tiffany felt something but she knew better. Not a lot of people fall in love with a one night stand and Tiffany felt that they shouldn't be an exception. She disregarded her feelings as merely from lust while Yuri did what Tiffany avoided, she mistook it as love. Tiffany becomes annoyed as she knew that this was highly irrational so she rejected her until Yuri finally breaks and avoids her. She is then left in the dark, figuring out what really happened to Yuri.
Not really knowing the consequence of her actions, she goes to see Yuri again, only to find herself constantly rejected until Yoona comes along and hits her with the truth. She was unaware and she felt remorse for what she has done. She claims that she is not satisfied to only ask for forgiveness, but she wants more than that if possible. She wants to restore the friendship but she wants it to be stronger and longer than it ever was before. But she also says that it is not love, because she is fixated with the idea that love has it's symptoms that makes you feel nervous or makes you flutter.
Seohyun is just part of Yuri's club, they don't really know each other. Tiffany just mistaken her as Yuri and that's how they knew each other. With that fact, she took the similarities as signs, to reassure herself of what she was feeling was not love and with that she rationalized. Not being fully convinced, she retraced her steps as the circumstances allowed her to do so, just so that she could prove to herself that her assumptions are right. However, it got the best of her since it backfired, revealing her real feelings for Yuri that all along, her feelings were all what she feared them to be.
Tiffany's personality, she's one of those people that do not think of the consequences that much or does not even take it into account when she makes decisions. I mean with both Yuri and Seohyun, she knew the risks of her act but still, she went through both and most notably with Yuri because she really assumed that things would be okay as she tried to ignore the harsh reality of every possible consequence from the act that she commited with Yuri. With Seo, it's almost the same but she sends out the letter, trying to explain her actions but all of us knew that it may not be enough.
Sad to say but Tiffany's love for Yuri was certainly not love at first sight, and if it was, it was all from her unconscious mind.
After her act with Seohyun, she realizes her true feelings but she is too late. She already knew the damage that Yuri has done but regardless, she still tried. Tried hard to ask for that small chance of forgiveness but she understood that there was a big chance for rejection. She pretty much knew that Yuri wouldn't let her off the hook that easily but she again, took the risks and she got hurt. During the play, when she saw Yuri, she found herself desperate that she said all the things she wanted Yuri to hear. Seeing Yuri leave, she started to see that being with Yuri would be a losing battle.
Hearing that Yuri broke up with her girlfriend, although she felt happy, she felt out of place in Yuri's life. If she didn't meet Yuri, then maybe Yuri would never have been hurt like this. It was all her fault that she decided to walk away and never trying to see Yuri again. During graduation, she still carried her hurt heart as she looked at Yuri. Not wanting to break her promise of not seeing Yuri again, she made this her own closure which was in it's own way, bittersweet.
As Yuri advanced towards the crowd to approach her, we can only conclude that she is confused with the events taking place. If I were to stay in Tiffany's pov at that time, it would make the fic ambiguous and I believe this shows the true potential of writing in a first person view. She does not understand, and we wouldn't either, why Yuri did all those things to her and most importantly, why she said "now imprison me" in the end.
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When Yuri took those thoughts in Chapter 5, I was left with two options, make Yuri psychotic or make her depressed and sad towards Tiffany.
I chose the latter but I only realized that it was really a mix of both. True, she hated Tiffany for everything she has done to her and she wanted revenge but she was always pulled back by her old emotions. The suicide, instead of hurting Tiffany, she tried to hurt herself because of her love for her. If she truly hated Tiffany, she never would have responded to the text, never would have cried in front of her as Tiffany asked about her girlfriend and she never would've cried when they kissed and if it was possible, never would have interacted with her.
During these moments, she fought all of her feelings, taking what she said in the prologue, into consideration.
It took so much strength and effort for Yuri to shun Tiffany away while saying that she should be the one chasing her but all Yuri's acts of resistance were already taking a toll in Tiffany's life, though they were all failed attempts for her revenge.
The play, she went to observe Tiffany and as she saw Tiffany change the words, she knew it was for her. She became hurt at the state that Tiffany was in and hearing one more word from that play would surely destroy her. And the sad reality was she really did get scarred at that moment. She broke up with her girlfriend and her hateful self was beginning to go away that was the sign of her surrendering. Her girlfriend didn't have a name simply because she was insignificant to this entire thing. She was a tool for Yuri to ease what Tiffany has done while she dealt with her vengeance but she was not enough. Breaking up with her, she felt sad, as if she was back to her old self. She was breaking away from her oath from act 5.
Graduation finally comes and she knew it was the right moment. Just in the nick of time, when Tiffany let go, she was able to capture her. She released all the hate that she was feeling she admitted defeat towards Tiffany's love and she embraced her downfall.
I cannot tell you what comes next after this so I'm sorry!
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I would like to thank all my beta readers and as well as my former best friend(?). I wrote this for her and it's not like I wrote it for love but I thought of this story as I felt symptoms of our fallout, a few weeks ago. I have realized that there is nothing worth fighting for in terms of her and I have to face the truth that she doesn't quite value our friendship like I do. So I let go and maybe we'll become friends again but if not, oh well. I let her read this and she hated it simply because it was not complex enough for her. Maybe I long for her downfall too? Perhaps.
But I hope you guys did like the fic! I myself hate tragic endings, especially for love stories since I am a romantic myself.
Praises for the fic, I will highly appreciate it if you guys contact me. If you hated it too, do not hesitate to say so.
I know I am not a very well developed writer but I am learning day by day.
Thanks for reading.
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