Linger [OhMiya]
Title : Linger
Author : Jade
Rating : PG
Pairing : Ohno/Nino
Word count : 2,864 words
Summary : Nino never expects Ohno to confess.
Note : wrote this as an entry to nicefinalbeam's ~ A kiss, and all was said unbeta-ed so please forgive me for many grammatical errors.
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Nino was never the type of person who looks back into something that he thought wasn’t worth his time at all. He was that kind of person who take things seriously, plan things ahead of time.. sort out his personal problems on his own.
A lot of people might think that the sort of personality suited Jun best but in fact, it was Nino who taught Jun how to manage everything without the help of so many other people. For one, Nino doesn’t want to waste money on hiring someone to just sort out his receipts, go over his schedules or to simply put it, paying someone whose only job is to bug to crap out of him.
Nino was certain that being in Arashi had helped him achieve everything he didn’t even dream of achieving. It was beautiful and rather fulfilling everytime he would look into his friends faces after a tiring but successful concert and that same feeling will washed over him again, stunning him, like it did the first time.
The same goes with his feelings for Ohno.
It was easier before. Way easier that Nino thought everything between them flows naturally, almost as easy as breathing. He would touch him everywhere and Ohno will just smile cheekily back at him as if it was just the most natural thing to do. Fan service, they said.. and yet, each one of them was engraved into Nino’s memory like a haunting melody.. beautiful and somewhat mysterious.
Its even way easier to imagine how he had always maintained that level of friendship between them though at the end of each day, he would always feel that strange tinged of fading hope whenever the older man waves his hand and turns away after giving him that one particular gaze.
It was rather frustrating.
All those times he thought he finally figured out the reasons behind those creepy stares, Nino would back away instantly knowing that he could never afford being at the losing end especially when the other man wasn’t even aware that he has been nursing that weird feeling deep inside of him for quite sometime now.
It was even more frustrating when the man was just right there.. just within his reach and yet, he couldn’t even bring himself to say the words without sounding so disgustingly sappy.. but then, Ohno would give him this one strange look and Nino would eventually fall again.. and again.. and again.
Yes. He was in love with Ohno Satoshi, and that’s got to be the weirdest thing of all.
“It’s not weird at all~” Aiba often tells him, but Nino knows that Aiba being him and everything that comes out of the older man’s mouth weren’t just weird but all shockingly true.
“Says the man who’s crushing on Sho-kun himself..” he would answer afterwards and Aiba’s eyes will glistened beneath his lids and Nino will find himself under that same whirlpool of emotions over again.
“At least I’m being honest with myself.. not like you..”
Nino shook his head and again, tries hard to ignore Aiba’s words although he knew his head practically memorizes each and every word the older man uttered from the last time they had this kind of talks. “That’s so gay, Aiba-chan..” he mutters afterwards.
“Maybe.. but if that’s what makes you happy, then who are we to judge you, right?”
Nino cringed. “I don’t really.. like messing things up, you know..” his voice trailed, and hints of doubt reverberated at every corner of his body, numbing his senses to the core.
“You should stop being so cynical, Nino-chan..” Aiba says in that sweet tone that almost made Nino’s tooth ache. “~for once, why don’t you try being honest and do something about it? Things aren’t going to be easy but knowing that you accomplished a task that you thought you can never finish, I think it’ll all worth the worrying and the pain.. think about it..”
I’ve done that for over ten years already, he wanted to say but in the end he chose to stay silent, contemplating against himself whether to really do something about it this time or just choose to stay in hiding for the rest of his miserable life.
= = = = = = =
“Are you done?” Nino asked the other man lightly. Ohno was busy finishing a caricature; his lower lip jutting out unconsciously and Nino kind of want to run his thumb over it and simply.. feel.
Ohno lifts his face and smiled, his face beaming. “Nino..” he said surprised and Nino kind of want to kiss him this time.. seriously.
“I thought you already left..” Ohno said after a few minutes of silence before tapping the seat beside him motioning Nino to come and sit. “~what were you asking again?” he added, his eyes obviously tired.
Nino tried to make his breathing even before he settled himself beside Ohno. “I did. I just came back actually..”
“Oh.”
Nino peeked over Ohno’s shoulder, trying to have a glimpse of the drawing he was working on when the older man playfully shoved it away. “Let me see that, Ohchan.. hey!” he said and tried reaching over. Laughing softly, Ohno stood up and put the drawing back into his back pack, before settling himself back beside Nino.
Pouting, Nino sulked quietly while Ohno’s hands wormed its way over Nino’s shoulders. “Why?” he asked, looking at Nino’s annoyed expression and as if that one word question was enough to cover everything he wanted to know himself.
It was probably not the day when they only have to look at each other and they will immediately understand what the other wants to say without even saying a word.. because Nino is Nino and Ohno is Ohno and at the end of the day, it’ll still be them.. the way it always has been, but as confuse as he was, Nino asked in a daze. “Why what?”
“You should stop doing that.. it’s not healthy..” Ohno answered, his eyes crinkling in obvious attempt to divert the topic.
Biting back a groan of frustration, Nino wriggle himself free from Ohno’s grip and furrowed his brows while he stared at the older man in irritation. “I just want to see the drawing.. why do you have to hide it anyway? It’s not like I haven’t seen you draw before..”
Smiling softly, Ohno stared back and nodded. “Well, I guess you’re right.. but this one is particularly important..”
Nino’s eyes lined up, his mouth quivered as he tried to rein his emotions in. “How so?”
Ohno’s face softened when he answers. “That drawing is for someone really special..” he said, his face bright and honest. “and I think it’s rude if I let anyone see it before he does right?”
If there’s something lying underneath those words, Ninomiya certainly missed it because at that moment, the only thing he wanted to do was to disappear, along with that terrible pain in his chest and the burning heat in his eyes.
= = = = = =
It’s his birthday.
He should be out there, celebrating with his friends and not facing the back door of his apartment, crying silently with all those undeniably frustrating events that happened and keeps on happening this past few days. And for once, Nino doesn’t want to go out there and pretend because he knows he had been doing that for so long that everything seemed like an illusion and he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. But the worst of it all was the realization that none of the things he had silently wished for had come true and instead, bad things hit him straight to the face, one after the other.
He sniffed rather loudly after wiping his tears as he allowed another batch streaked down his face, just so he could be able to feel again. It hurts. It hurts a lot and it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out even though he had tried his very best to hide it from everyone.. tried his very best to ignore and deny it, because that day, it just finally became clear.
“You could’ve at least greeted me Ohchan..” he whispered agonizingly, his voice barely audible to his own ears. He knew it was stupid and he knew it was somewhat wrong, but there was nothing he ever wanted for that special day than to spend with Ohno, or to simply put it, he just wanted to at least hear his voice before the day ends.
“He couldn’t make it..” the disappointment on Jun’s voice was clearly plastered on his face when he made that call earlier. He’s been going here and there for the promotion of the last few episodes of his drama and Nino knew they couldn’t do anything about it. “He said he will try to come over though.. if he can..” he added and Nino did nothing but force out a smile and pretend that it didn’t hurt although the very thought of not seeing him that day practically shed his heart into pieces.
He was still in the middle of his heart breaking, self-contemplating thoughts when he felt his phone vibrates from his pocket. He reached out for it and an impossible grin started his face the moment he saw the name of the person who was calling him.
“S-satoshi?”
Nino heard a soft sigh and immediately felt the tiredness radiating from the other man’s voice. Still, a simple phone call easily turned his emotions over, practically forgetting his earlier dilemma.
“Yes.. I’m not that late, right?” he asked, and Nino could feel the urgency in his voice.
“No.. most definitely not.. few minutes before midnight, Ohchan..” Nino answered earnestly. “~so technically, it’s still my birthday..” he added, with a hint of accusation on his voice.
“Gomen..” Ohno answered frantically. “I wanted to be there early but you kn~”
“I understand, don’t worry about it..” Nino answered. “~so I suggest you greet me now before it’s officially June 18 because if that happens, you should go get an insurance first thing tomorrow for I swear to God, I’m gonna hunt your slow a** down!” he said jokingly.
Ohno was probably grinning, and Nino felt that relief washing over him as if every little pain he felt earlier was gone in an instant. And it was just amazing how Ohno could simply stand there, not quite talking and yet, his very presence calm his very soul to the point of complete happiness.
“Can you come out for a bit?” Ohno asked in a hurry and Nino could swear his heart beat flutter ten thousand times faster than usual.
Trembling, Nino gripped his phone tighter as if his very life depended on it. “Excuse me?” he asked.
“Come out, please..” Ohno’s voice was a little frantic this time. “~I’m here.. back door of your apartment.. come out, Nino.. please?”
Dazed, Nino stared at the door in front of him, his chest pounding hard. Without a word, he flipped his phone shut and opened the door with a speed that would amaze him later on but the very sight of Ohno, standing in front of him was the only thing his broken brain was able to process successfully at that very moment.
“Ohchan?”
Surprised, but not entirely so, Ohno whipped his head back and gave out a smile that nearly melted Nino’s earthly body, but being the brat that he is, he even managed to gave out a smirk before he felt the older man’s arms around his skinny frame before whispering. “Happy birthday, Kazu..”
Nino nodded and it was his turn to be surprise when Ohno immediately let go and took a step back. “Ahh.. thank you..” was all Nino could say.
Ohno nodded and smiled once again. “Are they still there?” he asked softly. Nino answered the question by nodding. “~can I kidnap you for a few hours?” Ohno added.
“Ehh?”
Ohno grinned mischievously. “I have something to give you but I forgot it in the green room.. I was suppose to take it with me today but there’s urgent work we have to finish so..”
Nino cut him off. “I’ll just go get my keys..” he said and made a dash back into his room to retrieve his car keys.
= = = = =
They’ve reached the Jimusho in a record breaking half an hour drive that Nino almost silently congratulated himself seeing the older man beamed back at him the moment he parked his car in its usual space. The whole building was still lighted when the both of them entered the lobby, purposely ignoring the weird look that the night guard had threw them as they went straight into the lift silently.
“This should better be worth my time Satoshi or else..”
Ohno looked back and gave him another toothy smile. Nino’s heart could very well be skipping every damn second, or maybe it did skip anyway but he’s not about to entertain that thought, not really for the only thing he wanted to do that time was to jump the man and kiss him.. and without stopping, thank you very much.
“It’s not that much..” Ohno answered in a low voice before opening the door of their dressing room quietly.
“We’ll see..” Nino answered, excitement overriding everything that he have to constantly remind himself to keep breathing before he succumbed to hyperventilation.. which is not far from happening with the way his body shakes in anticipation.
Ohno went straight to the bag under the couch, took it and placed it on top of the table, opened it and took something which was undeniably familiar to Nino’s dazed memory. Wordlessly, Ohno handed it to Nino and he received it, his hands trembling.
It was the drawing book Ohno hid from him.. and the very same one he was working with a few weeks before.
That drawing is for someone special.. and I think its rude if I let anyone sees it before he does, right?
What the fuck?
He stared at the drawing book on his hand, still unable to command himself what to do when Ohno move a step closer and opened the book for him. “I hope you like it..” Ohno said, his eyes never leaving his.
The first page already surprised the living daylights out of him. Ohno drew him while he was sleeping and Nino wasn’t able to suppress the grin that spreads his face and his own hands automatically sprang back to life and flipped the pages of the book, his expression caught between amazement and extreme happiness.
Nino playing DS. Nino eating rice balls. Nino fighting with Aiba-chan. Nino arguing with Sho. Nino playing his cards. Nino talking to Jun. Nino with Ohno in the couch. Nino touching Ohno’s butt. Nino smiling while his head rests in Ohno’s shoulder. Nino singing. Nino dancing. Nino and Ohno as Taka and Yuuji. And the last page almost made his heart flip.
“You are cute and adorable and funny and kind and gentle and I love you.. will you be mine?”
“Ohchan?” he asked with a voice barely higher than a whisper.
Ohno moved a step closer and wounds his hands around his waist, smiling. “I’ve been watching you Nino.. all those adorable faces you make.. those smiles.. I never quite understand it but.. you fascinates me..” he said, his voice husky. “I wish I could give you more on your birthday though.. but..”
“Fascination is by definition.. far different from love, Satoshi..” Nino said, his blood racing through his veins and through his ears, leaving a trail of unknown emotions buried deep inside of him.
Ohno smiled. “I thought you’re gonna say that.. so how about, this~” he said and without any warning, he placed his cold hand at the side of Nino’s jaw and drew his face closer, his breath ragged against the flush skin of Nino’s face.
“I’m going to kiss you, Kazu..” Ohno whispered, their lips dangerously close and Nino had to close his eyes or those warm, brown eyes will suck his consciousness up before he could even begin to formulate the best answer to this situation.
And then his lips touched his. So light, so gentle that Nino wasn’t able to hold back a groan of frustration when Ohno decided on that pace, just moving slightly as if giving Nino a chance to change his mind.
And then he let go.
“Am I scaring you?” he asked, his lips jutting out in away that would simply melt all of Nino’s defenses away, but he could never care less because he was happy.. and smiling, at last.
Nino looked down when he felt the tears blinding his sight and he smiled despite that lump in his throat. “You just don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to do that, Ohchan..” he whispered, his voice cracking.
He felt the older man’s arms wrapped around his waist and pulled closer. Nino surrendered, as Ohno once again lifts his face up and this time, he looked straight into his eyes and smiled softly.
“Me too Kazu.. me too..”
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A/N: comments are loved, as always..