Fic: Nobody Cares Like a Bear - SPN
Title: Nobody Cares Like a Bear
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: none
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, more's the pity.
Summary: When John wakes up, something is different about Sam and Dean.
Author's Notes: This takes place at some nebulous point in the 1st season after the boys meet back up with John.
John groaned as he slowly stretched. The motel bed was just this side of too small for him, and the cramps from sleeping all scrunched up on top of the bruises he had gotten after being thrown into a wall during the hunt the night before made any movement somewhat painful. He winced as his neck popped when he turned his head to check on Sam and Dean, then completely forgot the pain when he realized that neither of them was in the bed they had been forced to share.
He knew that he would have heard them if they had left the motel room, and there was no sign of them in the small bathroom, either. He was just working up into a slight panic when he saw the blankets on the other bed move.
"Boys?" He reached slowly for the gun under his pillow, then froze in shock when he saw a fuzzy head poke out from under the shifting blankets. Then his eyes went almost comically wide when the thing spoke.
"Dad, what's going on?"
John just stared, mouth hanging open. It was Dean's voice, but it was coming from a small, fuzzy green bear with what looked like a picture of the Impala on its otherwise white stomach. He closed his eyes and gave his head a firm shake, desperately hoping that when he looked again the green bear would be gone. Then he slowly cracked one eye open, and sighed in defeat when nothing had changed.
"Dean, is that you?"
The bear nodded, a concerned expression on its furry face. "Dad, are you all right? You don't look so good."
John felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up and tried to choke it back. "You don't exactly look like yourself either right now, Dean."
The Dean!bear frowned, then glanced down at himself, eyes widening at the sight of green fur where there had always been skin. "What the hell?! I'm all small and fuzzy...and green! This is so not cool."
All of the yelling had apparently woken Sam, because a moment later yet another fuzzy head poked out from the blankets, though Sam's fur was a nice dark shade of blue. "What's with all the noise? I was trying to sleep, jerk." Sam's eyes were still closed, which John figured was the only reason that Sam wasn't panicking along with his brother.
While Dean simply stared at his now cute-and-furry brother in horror, John closed his eyes, ran a tired hand over his face and sighed. "Sammy, I don't know how to break it to you, but you and your brother have somehow been turned into...Care Bears."
Sam's eyes snapped open at that and he jerked his head around to stare at Dean, who was still staring at him. If it had been happening to almost anyone else, John would have found the whole scene amusing. But since it was Sam and Dean, he figured it was just a train wreck waiting to happen, and he could only hope that he survived the fallout. And that it didn't occur to either of the boys to ask him just how he had been able to immediately identify them as Care Bears.
"Boys, I know this is a little...weird, even for us, but I need you to focus. Now, can either of you think of anything that might have caused this?"
There was complete silence in the room for a long moment while Sam and Dean thought, but then both of them shook their heads. John was disappointed, but not overly surprised. That would have been entirely too easy. And if you were a Winchester, nothing was ever easy.
"Dad?" Sam's voice was small-sounding, and he had somehow managed to make his small bear eyes look large and pitiful. "Have you ever heard of something like this happening before?"
John shook his head, trying not to wince at the way Sam's face fell. "Sorry, Sammy, but this is a new one for me." He paused. "Dean didn't piss anyone off, did he? More than usual, I mean."
Dean growled, but the effect was ruined somewhat coming from a cute furry bear. "Why does everyone always think that it's my fault when something like this happens?"
Sam visibly bit back a snicker. "Um, maybe because it usually is? You have to admit that more often than not the really weird stuff is because some girl you pissed off cursed you."
Dean just glared. "Fuck you, Sam."
Seeing a Care Bear, even one that was really Dean, swear had to be one of the strangest things John had ever seen, and that was saying something. "Boys, that's enough. We need to work on figuring out what happened to you and how to fix it, not blaming anybody. Now, what were you two hunting before I got here?"
Dean answered almost immediately. "It was a pissed off poltergeist. No way could it have done anything like this."
"Uh, Dad?" Sam's voice was hesitant and he was fiddling absently with the blankets. "Have you considered the possibility that this wasn't aimed at us? That it was meant to be some sort of punishment for you?"
John just closed his eyes, hating the sight of his younger son looking so pathetic...and bear-like. "If this is someone or something trying to get to me, I don't know who or what it would be. Are you sure that neither of you have any idea about what might have caused this?"
Sam and Dean both thought for a moment, then shook their heads. "Sorry, Dad, but we've got no clue."
"All right, boys. I believe you. We'll just have to figure this out the hard way."
The hard way mainly meant that Sam and Dean sat on the edge of the bed, swinging their furry bear legs while John went through his journal and tried every single thing he could find in it for identifying spells and curses. It was three hours of the boys-turned-bears growing increasingly bored and fidgety before John managed to get some sort of idea of what had happened to them.
John just stared at the journal entry for a long moment, desperately wanting to find a way to convince himself that he had simply misread his own messy handwriting and completely unable to do so. He sighed tiredly. Some days it just wasn't worth getting up in the morning, and this was sadly looking like one of those very days.
"Boys, I think I know what happened."
Sam and Dean both jerked their heads around when he spoke, but Dean's eyes narrowed at the expression on John's face. "You don't look too happy about that, Dad."
John sighed again, fighting the somewhat adolescent urge to roll his eyes. "That's because the two of you practically stink of fairy magic. Conditional fairy magic."
Sam grimaced. "Conditional fairy magic? That's not good."
"Not good?" Dean growled, bear face contorted into a vicious glare. "I think this goes a little beyond not good, Sammy. How the fuck are we supposed to figure out just what conditions we have to meet in order to change back?"
John dropped his head back to bang softly against the wall, manfully repressing the desire to simply pick Dean up and shake him. "Dean, calm down, son. We can summon the fairy who did this to you and ask it politely what its conditions are. And if that doesn't work, then we'll go from there."
Dean could apparently sense John's fraying temper because while he grumbled quietly he also nodded, flopping backwards on the bed. Sam just shrugged before a wicked smile appeared on his fuzzy bear face and he pounced on Dean, almost sending both of them crashing to the floor.
With the boys otherwise occupied John flipped through the journal, looking for the best method of summoning a particular fairy. Once he found what he was looking for he started reciting the ritual in Latin, keeping part of his attention on the tussling bears.
A moment later there was a small explosion of sparks and colored smoke in the middle of the room, and as a small feminine body came into view Sam and Dean suddenly went tumbling off of the bed with a loud thump. The fairy took one look at the small fuzzy bear-pile and burst out laughing, arms crossed protectively over her bare stomach and translucent wings fluttering wildly behind her.
"Oh, wow. This turned out so much better than even I thought it would. I've got that promotion in the bag. Kaylynn is going to be so pissed."
It was all John could do not to start banging his head against the wall again. "Um, excuse me, miss. I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell me how to change my boys back, would you?" While under other circumstances he would have gone for a much more demanding approach, with this rather strange fairy he decided that discretion was safer.
The fairy turned her attention to John, eyes roaming up and down his body with a very Dean-like grin. "Well, now. Ordinarily I'd say no, but for you I might be willing to come to some sort of arrangement." Then she licked her lips, tossing her hair over one bare shoulder.
John grimaced, both at the fairy's rather frank regard and at the hint of a blush he could feel heating his cheeks. "Uh, miss, somehow I don't think we're anatomically compatible, if you know what I mean."
She just laughed. "While that certainly is a lovely thought, that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I simply want you to do me a small favor."
"What sort of favor?"
She flitted forward until she was just in front of John's face. "I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know when I decide, but I give my word that it won't be anything bad."
John glanced over at Sam and Dean who were still in a fuzzy pile on the floor. Both of them shrugged before Dean suddenly flipped Sam over and sat on his back, pinning Sam's arms with his knees. When Sam began struggling and cursing, John sighed.
"Fine. A favor later for telling me how to change the boys back now. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this."
The fairy grinned, then leaned forward to press a kiss to the end of John's nose. "You are a good man, John Winchester. Not to mention a handsome one. The boys need only sing a bit...something appropriate." And then, with a sunny grin and a puff of smoke, the fairy was gone.
Sam and Dean both froze, Dean still sitting on Sam's back. "Sing? What the hell did she mean, sing?"
Sam finally tossed Dean off and pulled himself onto his feet. "It's the something appropriate that has me concerned. What would a fairy consider appropriate anyway?"
"Boys, just start singing anything that comes to mind and hopefully you'll hit on something that works eventually."
An hour later John was ready to tear out his hair and was deeply regretting his suggestion about the boys and singing. He was also fighting off what felt suspiciously like the beginnings of a migraine. The boys' attempts at singing had melded into nothing but sheer noise over half an hour earlier, and John was seriously considering lying down on the far bed and shoving a pillow over his head when it finally happened.
There was a shower of blue sparks and where bear!Sam had been sitting there was now a fully human, and completely naked, Sam. John breathed a huge sigh of relief as Sam reached over to grab a clean pair of boxers and quickly slid them on.
"Dean, start singing whatever Sam was and then the two of you go somewhere else for a few hours and let me sleep."
Dean crossed his arms over his chest, a stubborn frown on his face. "I heard what he was singing, and I think I'd rather stay a bear."
John took a slow, deep breath and ran a hand over his face. "Dean, if you stay a bear how are you supposed to drive the Impala? How are you supposed to take care of Sam? And even if all of that wasn't an issue, I gave you an order." He leaned over until he and bear!Dean were nose to nose. "Sing, Dean. Because I am quickly losing what little patience I had left."
Dean nodded grudgingly, arms still crossed. "Fine." Then in as monotone a voice as he could manage, he began to sing.
"Now a hat is a wonderful thing you see,
Every one's got its own personality.
You just slip it on and instantly
You can be anybody that you want to be."
An instant later Dean was human again, grumbling under his breath as he slipped on a pair of boxers. "I vote we all forget that this whole thing ever happened, and if anyone says anything about my singing I won't be responsible for the consequences."
Sam and John both nodded silently while Dean threw on his clothes and stalked out of the motel room. Sam was slower about getting dressed, and was heading for the door when John stopped him.
"Sammy, how on earth did you come up with that song?"
A small, sad smile curled Sam's lips. "It's from one of the Care Bears movies, the one with Alice in Wonderland. Jess loved that movie, said she'd watched it at least once a year since she was a kid. I was trying to come up with something else to try and it just popped into my head."
John smiled, reaching out to grip Sam's shoulder. "I'm glad it did, son. Otherwise you two might have been stuck like that, and Dean as a Care Bear is something that no one, especially me, is ready for."
Sam chuckled as he walked out the door, and once he was gone John flopped backwards on the bed and closed his eyes. Hopefully, if he tried really really hard, he could convince himself that the past few hours had been nothing more than an incredibly bad dream.
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: none
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, more's the pity.
Summary: When John wakes up, something is different about Sam and Dean.
Author's Notes: This takes place at some nebulous point in the 1st season after the boys meet back up with John.
John groaned as he slowly stretched. The motel bed was just this side of too small for him, and the cramps from sleeping all scrunched up on top of the bruises he had gotten after being thrown into a wall during the hunt the night before made any movement somewhat painful. He winced as his neck popped when he turned his head to check on Sam and Dean, then completely forgot the pain when he realized that neither of them was in the bed they had been forced to share.
He knew that he would have heard them if they had left the motel room, and there was no sign of them in the small bathroom, either. He was just working up into a slight panic when he saw the blankets on the other bed move.
"Boys?" He reached slowly for the gun under his pillow, then froze in shock when he saw a fuzzy head poke out from under the shifting blankets. Then his eyes went almost comically wide when the thing spoke.
"Dad, what's going on?"
John just stared, mouth hanging open. It was Dean's voice, but it was coming from a small, fuzzy green bear with what looked like a picture of the Impala on its otherwise white stomach. He closed his eyes and gave his head a firm shake, desperately hoping that when he looked again the green bear would be gone. Then he slowly cracked one eye open, and sighed in defeat when nothing had changed.
"Dean, is that you?"
The bear nodded, a concerned expression on its furry face. "Dad, are you all right? You don't look so good."
John felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up and tried to choke it back. "You don't exactly look like yourself either right now, Dean."
The Dean!bear frowned, then glanced down at himself, eyes widening at the sight of green fur where there had always been skin. "What the hell?! I'm all small and fuzzy...and green! This is so not cool."
All of the yelling had apparently woken Sam, because a moment later yet another fuzzy head poked out from the blankets, though Sam's fur was a nice dark shade of blue. "What's with all the noise? I was trying to sleep, jerk." Sam's eyes were still closed, which John figured was the only reason that Sam wasn't panicking along with his brother.
While Dean simply stared at his now cute-and-furry brother in horror, John closed his eyes, ran a tired hand over his face and sighed. "Sammy, I don't know how to break it to you, but you and your brother have somehow been turned into...Care Bears."
Sam's eyes snapped open at that and he jerked his head around to stare at Dean, who was still staring at him. If it had been happening to almost anyone else, John would have found the whole scene amusing. But since it was Sam and Dean, he figured it was just a train wreck waiting to happen, and he could only hope that he survived the fallout. And that it didn't occur to either of the boys to ask him just how he had been able to immediately identify them as Care Bears.
"Boys, I know this is a little...weird, even for us, but I need you to focus. Now, can either of you think of anything that might have caused this?"
There was complete silence in the room for a long moment while Sam and Dean thought, but then both of them shook their heads. John was disappointed, but not overly surprised. That would have been entirely too easy. And if you were a Winchester, nothing was ever easy.
"Dad?" Sam's voice was small-sounding, and he had somehow managed to make his small bear eyes look large and pitiful. "Have you ever heard of something like this happening before?"
John shook his head, trying not to wince at the way Sam's face fell. "Sorry, Sammy, but this is a new one for me." He paused. "Dean didn't piss anyone off, did he? More than usual, I mean."
Dean growled, but the effect was ruined somewhat coming from a cute furry bear. "Why does everyone always think that it's my fault when something like this happens?"
Sam visibly bit back a snicker. "Um, maybe because it usually is? You have to admit that more often than not the really weird stuff is because some girl you pissed off cursed you."
Dean just glared. "Fuck you, Sam."
Seeing a Care Bear, even one that was really Dean, swear had to be one of the strangest things John had ever seen, and that was saying something. "Boys, that's enough. We need to work on figuring out what happened to you and how to fix it, not blaming anybody. Now, what were you two hunting before I got here?"
Dean answered almost immediately. "It was a pissed off poltergeist. No way could it have done anything like this."
"Uh, Dad?" Sam's voice was hesitant and he was fiddling absently with the blankets. "Have you considered the possibility that this wasn't aimed at us? That it was meant to be some sort of punishment for you?"
John just closed his eyes, hating the sight of his younger son looking so pathetic...and bear-like. "If this is someone or something trying to get to me, I don't know who or what it would be. Are you sure that neither of you have any idea about what might have caused this?"
Sam and Dean both thought for a moment, then shook their heads. "Sorry, Dad, but we've got no clue."
"All right, boys. I believe you. We'll just have to figure this out the hard way."
The hard way mainly meant that Sam and Dean sat on the edge of the bed, swinging their furry bear legs while John went through his journal and tried every single thing he could find in it for identifying spells and curses. It was three hours of the boys-turned-bears growing increasingly bored and fidgety before John managed to get some sort of idea of what had happened to them.
John just stared at the journal entry for a long moment, desperately wanting to find a way to convince himself that he had simply misread his own messy handwriting and completely unable to do so. He sighed tiredly. Some days it just wasn't worth getting up in the morning, and this was sadly looking like one of those very days.
"Boys, I think I know what happened."
Sam and Dean both jerked their heads around when he spoke, but Dean's eyes narrowed at the expression on John's face. "You don't look too happy about that, Dad."
John sighed again, fighting the somewhat adolescent urge to roll his eyes. "That's because the two of you practically stink of fairy magic. Conditional fairy magic."
Sam grimaced. "Conditional fairy magic? That's not good."
"Not good?" Dean growled, bear face contorted into a vicious glare. "I think this goes a little beyond not good, Sammy. How the fuck are we supposed to figure out just what conditions we have to meet in order to change back?"
John dropped his head back to bang softly against the wall, manfully repressing the desire to simply pick Dean up and shake him. "Dean, calm down, son. We can summon the fairy who did this to you and ask it politely what its conditions are. And if that doesn't work, then we'll go from there."
Dean could apparently sense John's fraying temper because while he grumbled quietly he also nodded, flopping backwards on the bed. Sam just shrugged before a wicked smile appeared on his fuzzy bear face and he pounced on Dean, almost sending both of them crashing to the floor.
With the boys otherwise occupied John flipped through the journal, looking for the best method of summoning a particular fairy. Once he found what he was looking for he started reciting the ritual in Latin, keeping part of his attention on the tussling bears.
A moment later there was a small explosion of sparks and colored smoke in the middle of the room, and as a small feminine body came into view Sam and Dean suddenly went tumbling off of the bed with a loud thump. The fairy took one look at the small fuzzy bear-pile and burst out laughing, arms crossed protectively over her bare stomach and translucent wings fluttering wildly behind her.
"Oh, wow. This turned out so much better than even I thought it would. I've got that promotion in the bag. Kaylynn is going to be so pissed."
It was all John could do not to start banging his head against the wall again. "Um, excuse me, miss. I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell me how to change my boys back, would you?" While under other circumstances he would have gone for a much more demanding approach, with this rather strange fairy he decided that discretion was safer.
The fairy turned her attention to John, eyes roaming up and down his body with a very Dean-like grin. "Well, now. Ordinarily I'd say no, but for you I might be willing to come to some sort of arrangement." Then she licked her lips, tossing her hair over one bare shoulder.
John grimaced, both at the fairy's rather frank regard and at the hint of a blush he could feel heating his cheeks. "Uh, miss, somehow I don't think we're anatomically compatible, if you know what I mean."
She just laughed. "While that certainly is a lovely thought, that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I simply want you to do me a small favor."
"What sort of favor?"
She flitted forward until she was just in front of John's face. "I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know when I decide, but I give my word that it won't be anything bad."
John glanced over at Sam and Dean who were still in a fuzzy pile on the floor. Both of them shrugged before Dean suddenly flipped Sam over and sat on his back, pinning Sam's arms with his knees. When Sam began struggling and cursing, John sighed.
"Fine. A favor later for telling me how to change the boys back now. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this."
The fairy grinned, then leaned forward to press a kiss to the end of John's nose. "You are a good man, John Winchester. Not to mention a handsome one. The boys need only sing a bit...something appropriate." And then, with a sunny grin and a puff of smoke, the fairy was gone.
Sam and Dean both froze, Dean still sitting on Sam's back. "Sing? What the hell did she mean, sing?"
Sam finally tossed Dean off and pulled himself onto his feet. "It's the something appropriate that has me concerned. What would a fairy consider appropriate anyway?"
"Boys, just start singing anything that comes to mind and hopefully you'll hit on something that works eventually."
An hour later John was ready to tear out his hair and was deeply regretting his suggestion about the boys and singing. He was also fighting off what felt suspiciously like the beginnings of a migraine. The boys' attempts at singing had melded into nothing but sheer noise over half an hour earlier, and John was seriously considering lying down on the far bed and shoving a pillow over his head when it finally happened.
There was a shower of blue sparks and where bear!Sam had been sitting there was now a fully human, and completely naked, Sam. John breathed a huge sigh of relief as Sam reached over to grab a clean pair of boxers and quickly slid them on.
"Dean, start singing whatever Sam was and then the two of you go somewhere else for a few hours and let me sleep."
Dean crossed his arms over his chest, a stubborn frown on his face. "I heard what he was singing, and I think I'd rather stay a bear."
John took a slow, deep breath and ran a hand over his face. "Dean, if you stay a bear how are you supposed to drive the Impala? How are you supposed to take care of Sam? And even if all of that wasn't an issue, I gave you an order." He leaned over until he and bear!Dean were nose to nose. "Sing, Dean. Because I am quickly losing what little patience I had left."
Dean nodded grudgingly, arms still crossed. "Fine." Then in as monotone a voice as he could manage, he began to sing.
"Now a hat is a wonderful thing you see,
Every one's got its own personality.
You just slip it on and instantly
You can be anybody that you want to be."
An instant later Dean was human again, grumbling under his breath as he slipped on a pair of boxers. "I vote we all forget that this whole thing ever happened, and if anyone says anything about my singing I won't be responsible for the consequences."
Sam and John both nodded silently while Dean threw on his clothes and stalked out of the motel room. Sam was slower about getting dressed, and was heading for the door when John stopped him.
"Sammy, how on earth did you come up with that song?"
A small, sad smile curled Sam's lips. "It's from one of the Care Bears movies, the one with Alice in Wonderland. Jess loved that movie, said she'd watched it at least once a year since she was a kid. I was trying to come up with something else to try and it just popped into my head."
John smiled, reaching out to grip Sam's shoulder. "I'm glad it did, son. Otherwise you two might have been stuck like that, and Dean as a Care Bear is something that no one, especially me, is ready for."
Sam chuckled as he walked out the door, and once he was gone John flopped backwards on the bed and closed his eyes. Hopefully, if he tried really really hard, he could convince himself that the past few hours had been nothing more than an incredibly bad dream.