Lilac Legacy 1.2
Caution: Language, adult themes, derpiness.
Last time on the Lilac Legacy: We met Lavender, our air-headed, shallow, spoiled Founder. She landed a job as a paper girl at my insistence, burned a salad, met Mr Alain Jade, and made him her boyfriend.
We start this episode off with Lavender running like there's a sale at Forever 21.
Fox: Where you going Lav?
Lavender: Oh no where. I just have a date. With my boyfriend. *squee*
Where is your boytoy anyway?
Alain: Is she watching? Is Lavender watching? CANNON BALL!
Snobby Man: Eh. I give him 7 out of 10.
Snobby Woman: I give your sideburns a 1 out of 10.
Alain: Oh, you're here! I was looking for you!
I'm pretty sure there should be a shop somewhere that manufactures and sells Alains. Because ermergerd. Yum.
They promptly hopped into the pool and had a breath-holding contest. Lav won. :D
Alain: You know I let you win right?
Lavender: Maybe I'll let you win later tonight.
Alain: ..... oh!
Disapproving Citizen: Public displays of affection. Ew.
It was getting dark so Lavender bid her hunky man good night and hurried home.
Because I am a derp and my roof was simply not working, the Lilac starter house got a mini make-over. I added a balcony because the roofing tool continues to baffle me. I love how it looks at night. I wish my house looked that amazing.
For some reason she was really, really concerned about jellyfish and I couldn't figure out why.
Lavender: I'm nervous okay?! I have something really important to ask Alain and if I take him to the beach to do it, I might get stung by a jellyfish and that would ruin EVERYTHING.
Lavender didn't roll the over emotional trait but she definitely channels it.
Lavender: Ugh, what if he doesn't like cuddling?! I love cuddling! That would ruin everything!
What a spazz. GO TO WORK.
When I saw her new work outfit, I almost spat out my tea laughing.
Fox: Sing it with me, "Where in the world is Carmen San Diego!"
Lavender: Die.
After consulting her best friend Isabelle, whom you'll meet later, Lavender decided to meet Alain at a nice safe art show.
Lavender: The jellies can't get me here.
Alain: You're silly, but gorgeous, so it's okay.
Now who's shallow, hm?
Lavender: So I was wondering... I know we haven't been dating long but I feel like this could be something big. Something really big. Would you consider moving in with me Alain?
Alain: Are you serious? Of course I'd love to live with you! I'd never have to get a job!
Keep dreaming, he-founder. You're earning your bacon. And that was how Alain Jade joined the Lilac Legacy!
Alain: Ladies.
Co-Founder : Alain Jade
-Frugal
-Good sense of humor
-Brave
-Handy
-Schmoozer
He loves Tri-Tip Steak, Indie music, the color Irish Green and his sign is Cancer.
Lifetime Wish: Become an Astronaut
When they got home, Alain and Lavender proceeded to make out near the toaster for a half hour. It was pretty adorable.
And then I noticed this. Candles? Flowers? Wine? Uh oh.
Alain: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Lavender: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I don't think there was much thinking involved, to be honest.
Lavender: I'm sort of drunk on cheap wine and endorphins, but I just wanted to say this has been the best night of my life.
Alain: Who knew legs could bend that wa- I mean, me too.
After a very eventful evening of putting bits in places, the couple fell into a contented sleep.
Lavender: zzz oh god jellyfish zzZz
Fox: GOOD MORNING! TIME FOR WORK!
Lavender:Shut it. Why isn't the man hunk waking up?
Fox: Because he is unemployed remember?
Alain: Damn.
Fox: No more naughty snuggles until you find a job?
Alain: Bingo.
Luckily the military was recruiting and Alain accepted. Before he left for his shift, I told him to take a bath he decided to take a bath and I happened to be there at the time.
Alain: Scrubba dub duuuub, elf man in the tuuuuub.
*oggle*
Alain: Did I just see a camera flash?
Alain: Don't worry, when I change back into normal clothes my hair comes back.
Thank GOD.
When Alain got home from "hanging out with fellow soldiers" [sounds like hard work!] he found Lavender's maid, Francesca lurking around the livingroom.
Alain: Who are you and what are you doing in my house? I know what that outfit is used for, I've been on the Internet. I am a happily taken man!
Francesca: Look sir, I'm just here to scrub your toilets and make use of your speedy internet.
No seriously, this was her not 10 minutes ago.
Francesca: Yummynudefiremen.com. Oh my, mister January. That's quite the banana hammock you're wearing.
Knowing that her best friend was the new kid in town, Isabelle Flowers, Lavender's childhood buddy, decided to visit town and check in on her. After work, Lav went to the hotel to gossip about her new relationship.
Isabelle: Did you take him to the art gallery? I bet it was like, so romantic. Did he move in? DISH!
Lavender: Come over and meet him, he is a total doll.
Isabelle:Hmm. I bet he has amazing-
Lavender: Abs? He does. *snerk* This is why we're best friends.
Isabelle: Did you guys, you know...
Lavender: What?
Isabelle: You know...
Lavender: What?
Isabelle: ...
Alain: Yes we did, and it was amazing. I can hear you guys, you know.
Isabelle, satisfied that her best friend was in good hands, had some pizza and bid the couple goodnight.
The next morning, Lavender woke up and logged into the lap top.
Fox: Oh god, what's wrong?
Lavender: Facebook just reminded me it's my birthday. I'M OLD. D:
I had completely forgotten, it was my founder bb's birthday! Party time!
Fox: Looking mighty manly there, Alain.
Lavender: It's my girlfriend's birthday. We're having a pool party!
Lavender: Aww guys, really? What an awesome surprise!
Lavender: Please give me world peace, an end to poverty, and let me keep this rocking body until I die.
Isabelle: Amen to that, sister!
Lavender: It tingles, WHY DOES IT TINGLE?
And just like that, she aged up. Honestly, her wish must have come true because she doesn't look much older at all!
Alain: Hey, come here. I have a surprise for you!
Lavender: Is it your everlasting love and devotion? Hee hee.
Alain: Actually... yes. It is.
Lavender: ... oh wow.
Alain: Lavender Lilac, happy birthday. Will you be my wife?
Lavender: asdfjksdf [Yes!]
/spam
Lavender: I love you. I just want you to know that since we're a legacy couple, there will be lots of squalling babies in the near future.
Alain: Ah. I knew there was a catch to this frisky time with our house full of party guests.
Thank you for reading and supporting the Lilac Legacy. UNTIL NEXT TIME!