I am living proof that God is a spiteful, vindictive creature

[jadeembers]

Late last night, I logged into LJ to read the comments left on my previous entry about feeling utterly defeated. The two comments left were from my brother and my best friend. Both of whom inflated my ego to Costco-sized proportions and inspired me to do something about making my life better, and I wanted to do so as soon as humanly possible. Let

Comments

[bluelightphase]

Oh. Fuck. :(

[jadeembers]

I know, right? God damn, I'm so tired of all this bad shit happening. How do people not give up? I mean, maybe I just can't understand because I've never had that strong a' determination, but damn, really? It's hard for me to get out of fucking bed, and when this shit happens, I don't even see the point in trying anymore. Who am I to challenge the cosmos?

"The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got one hell of a sense of humor!"

[bonnibus]

I imagine you being the kind of kid that rolls their eyes and thinks "well I'M not there!" when told to finish their greens, "There are starving kids in Kenya

Re: "The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got one hell of a sense of humor!"

[jadeembers]

I know what you're saying, and really...yeah, I started laughing out loud AT WORK reading this. Way to get me in trouble

Re: "The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got one hell of a sense of humor!"

[bonnibus]

oy, you weren't kidding. I'm fucked for sleep! :(

[misto]

Ha, Bonnie beat me to what I was going to say. Yes, it is universally agreeable that all of that stuff that happened to you was kinda sucky, but the defeatest attitude only makes you experience a whole lot MORE of the same. If you want more car accidents, debt and annoyances, just keep right on talking about them and letting them effect you like you're doing. Sound lame? Here's another smack o' fact of reality. The awesome shit doesn't happen overnight (or the very next day, either). Annoying that we don't get instant gratification, no? Well, that's all how you look at it. It's easy to see that the very fine line of red ribbon marking the finish is waaaaay off in the distance and then concentrate a lot harder on the rocks and giant potholes you're tripping over instead because it's right there in front of you. But that's all it is, right there in front of you and the only thing you're focusing on. Stop looking down at them and look foward to that damn ribbon that is way out there and barely visible. So invisible you're not

[jadeembers]

And I'll tell you the same thing I told Bonnie. Just because I'm greiving over the loss of my car (much like how you lost the van) and I'm stuck at home all weekend, doesn't mean I've given up. In fact, it doesn't state anywhere in that entry that I have given up. So it's just as fair to imply that you're assuming I will give up because you're talking to me as though I already have. How's that for analytical

[misto]

Yes, I agree that you deserve some time to grieve over the loss of your car. In fact I didn't even realize that the car was totalled by your entry; I guess I thought it had just gotten damaged or something. I also concure that you journal is for you to vent any frustration in anyway you know how, but what I'm trying to explain is that eventually you will realize that you can endure a loss without so much suffering and without any of the physical symptoms you're experiencing, too. It takes time training your brain that way, like it does any other part of your body. Also, not that it really matters, but I handle the loss of things pretty differently than that. If my condo and jazz went up in flames, my reaction would seriously be a lot different than you think. Not because I'm saying I'm like some high and mighty person that's so much better or something, but because I don't get attached to things very easily, not even my cat. But that's another story (I don't have the bond with Jazz that you have with Sanani). I can't say

[jadeembers]

It's right now that I've come to fully understand why we never got along, truly. Like when we were living together and that's just because the little tiny idiosyncrasies that control our lives and actions aren't even remotely similar. You don't have a single Cancer trait in your body. I however, am practically the uber-Cancer. Just about everything that I do or that happens to me has an emotional side effect, some that are stronger than others. As for my car, I'm not sure if it's entirely totaled, but if the frame bent when the axle broke, then it will be. I'm not sure until the guys at the shop give me a call back. I hope to get one by Tuesday.