August 2, 2009
Too much has happened...too much to even want to get into. I've been gone so long that it's just too much to even talk about...so unless you want long rants, I wouldn't consider reading....
SO much has happened. I'm currently single because my so much of a "boyfriend" couldnt handle me. He wont really explain to me why he broke up with me too much, just that he's "not ready to be in a relationship" -_-U but i'm not going to complain too much about it. All i have to say is he shouldn't have to be a fucking pussy about things. If I don't like something he has no respect to really listen or even understand how i feel. He has no idea what it's like to be jealous so he shouldn't judge me on how i feel about it. It's hard to be getting through but i mean, i have my friends there for me and they're REALLY helping me through this. I've thought about suicide cuz i can't see my life without him...but we're still on good terms...and i don't want to complain to much because he says there will ALWAYS be the chance of him taking me back, and as my friend Shannon said "If you arent alive, how will you ever know what will happen between you 2?" which was actually pretty inspiring to me. I just need a place to rant about this all, so i'm writing here, considering no one reads my stuff anyways.
Also, i've made an old "new" friend. No names being said. All i wanna say is that i feel bad for MOST things i've said about this person. She was my best friend from...5th to 10th grade. 5 years? but we lost that for a year. no talking...nothing. just constant complaining, rumors, horrible things being said. i found out she was pretty messed up for awhile...and thats why she did the things she did. i'm no saint, i'm never that great of a person, but i've decided to give her a second chance, which would be hard for ANYONE to consider with her doing the things she did. but i did it and im glad i did. she's really been there for me recently and vice versa. i REALLY hope things between me and her will be ok but it sucks because all the rest of the people i know dont want anything to do with her :( thats where i come in i guess. to be there for her.
I've written too much already. All i wanna say about today currently is that i'm feeling irritated. Irritated as in i can't get comfortable...i'm either too hot or too cold or not in the right position ect. I'll be ok soon though im sure...
To whoever has read all of this, you really are a genuine person. Don't let go of that because theres going to be someone out there weather it be now or one day that is going to need your help, to have someone to listen to them.
That's all i've got for now..