(no subject)
I went to Fun Town yesterday. I had the idea to go their, because I wanted to go back to my roots as a kid. I feel like I forgot a lot about being a kid that mattered. Granted I am 23 years old and I need to grow up. I still feel that I need to embrace the inner kid inside of me. I have fun when I do that. I love skee ball and the batting cages. I had not been to a skee ball place for a while. I had not been to the batting cages for at least 3 years. The last time being when a professor pissed me off at North Central right before I exited the college for good. I told Leah that I wanted to go and we went, however we needed to make a stop off at Kevin's Moms house to give her some stuff. I was a little weirded out at first, but then I remember all the good times we had at her house. She is an awesome person and his sister Jane is really cool too. Sometimes I feel bad that Kevin was handed to them.
So we went to their house and ended up getting invited to dinner. I was so excited that I got to eat a home cooked meal for once in a long time. His mom is so nice and his sister is so awesome. Jane is 17 years old and she is rarely ever sad. Just being with this kid made me happy. We ate some food and chatted for quite some time. We ended up taking Jane with us to Fun Town. There is no way I couldn't suggest taking her. We bought about 100 tokens, everyone had at least 3 batting cage tokens (I had about 6 in the end, 5 I bought and one was given to me by Jane), a couple go kart passes, and some bumper boats passes. I did about 5 rounds in the fast pitch cages and hurt my hand. It was so awesome. I loved it. Then we went to the arcade and I played a million rounds of skee ball, while Jane and Leah played all the games that give you tickets. In the end Jane came out with 652 tickets and got a few prizes for some friends and some candy that she shared. Next we went to the bumper boats, which I love. We went around squirting each other a lot, teaming up (me and leah or me and jane or jane and leah) or we just squirted some kids around the lake. Then we went to the go karts and I sucked at driving them. Everyone lapped me once or twice. That was my least favorite part, but we had a good laugh about it afterwards. I had the best night in a long time. I think that we need to go there at least once every few weeks in the summer. I think that I need to go to the batting cages at least once a week. This is something I need to start doing, so that my life is so much easier. Maybe I can join some type of Softball League. I guess I should get a book on Asthma and exercises or something to do to make you have less attacks in sports.
So here is my epiphany, however confused it may sound, I feel that I need to at least try to be Johnny's friend next week. No matter how hard it is to talk to him right now maybe I could call him on Wednesday or something. I was sitting in the tub and I remembered something from a long time ago. I remembered how great of a friend he was. I think it was 2 years ago in December that I was with him and Jovan at Mediterranean Cafe. I was interested in one of my friends, Red, and I wanted to go there with Jovan and Johnny as support. I dressed up really nicely and gelled up my hair. We went there and I saw Joseph. This guy who had broken my heart by deciding to date a 45 year old over me. He helped me get through the entire dinner. I also remember going with him to see Lord of the Rings. I used to never talk in a movie I am seeing for the first time. He talked throughout the entire movie. I need someone who can make a movie that awesome. I know I shouldn't push myself into a friendship, but I kind of feel like I need to right some wrongs. I don't know how confusing it will be, but I always regretted messing up the friendship between me and Joe. Maybe I didn't mess it up. Maybe it was all Joe's fault. He was never 100% honest. Maybe I can do it this time. I know it will be 100 times harder, but I have to at least try. I am not doing this because I think we will get back together. I am usually the one who thinks the other person will find someone better. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I can't think unrealistically and wait forever for someone. I guess all this garble comes down to...I don't think I should dump him altogether, but I think I should at least try to move on a little better. Maybe I should try casually dating someone, not casual sex, but just going out with other people. Maybe as friends or maybe on dates. I think I need to table the serious relationship thing for at least a year or two. I need to get my life into focus. I think that my dad was right. I should not have gotten into a serious relationship in college. Life is too unstable. However, I do not regret dating him and I do not regret what happened.
I want to thank Leah and Jane a million for helping me out. I think that I need to hang out with the two of them more often. I also want to thank David, Farmer, Ender, Pattie, and everyone else who had to deal with my crap. Right now I still cry occassionally, but I am reminded by my hand that is pain not to feel so bad. I guess what I am saying is that I need to get back into reality.