Happy Holidays daisydeiji! Exchange fic: "The Oak Tree"
Title: The Oak Tree
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, Supernatural
Warnings: Character Death, Suicide
Summary: Yunho is willing to do anything to prevent his lover from dying.
4105 wc
daisydeiji’s request:
Rating Preference: Any is fine, but preferably R+
Top Preference: YunJae
Things You PREFER to See: Angst, tragedy, character death, bittersweet stuff,
Things You DO NOT Want to See: genderswitch. prefer no crossdressing.
A/N: Ok, so you wanted Angst, Tragedy and Character Death. I hope you’re happy. I was crying while writing this >.< I hope you don’t mind the supernatural part.
I rewrote it but I’m still not quite happy. -.- There are parts I love, but there are also parts I hate, so… ugh. I had the first version beta-ed, but then I decided to be dumb and rewrote it, and then I didn’t have time for a beta anymore. I’m sorry. English isn’t my first language.
Merry Christmas, I guess! ^_^
I hope you can deal with the cheesiness and stuff…
The Oak Tree
It was a cold day in September when Yunho came home from work to a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Time seemed to stop when he stepped on the brakes, his breath hitching in his throat, his hands gripping the stirring wheel, and as he slowly opened the door and stepped out of his expensive car, taking in the horrifying sight in front of him, he didn’t know how he would ever get that picture out of his head. The picture of the man he loved hanging on the oak tree. The oak tree he had been standing beneath when he had proposed to the love of his life. Now the oak tree had become a stake to an execution. The self-execution of a beautiful man, his black hair clinging to his sweaty pale face, bangs covering the eyes he knew would shine beautifully, were they still filled with life. His adorable little feet, wrapped in his favorite black boots, were dangling back and forth helplessly, his slim body light enough to be lightly swung by the storm blowing through the leaves of the majestic oak tree.
As Yunho stepped closer, his limbs shaking, his heart aching, tears streaming down his face and making him choke on his sobs, he reached his hand out slowly, afraid of touching the dreadful sight. He carefully brushed the soft black hair aside, recoiling when he saw the rope that cut deep into the man’s throat, having ended his life a few hours ago. He sunk to his knees; desperate cries leaving his throat, and he kissed the tips of the unusually clean boots.
Even though he could hardly think at all, his limbs moved on their own, standing up and reaching for the chair that was left on the ground, determined to have no one else see his boyfriend like that. His fingernails scratched the wood as he tried to get a grip on the chair and place it beneath the dangling feet.
Barely able to leave the dead body, he ran into the house, bumping into furniture left and right, and searched the kitchen for a big enough knife. Part of him was thinking it was all just a terrible nightmare, but the second he stormed back outside and saw the dangling body, reality hit him again and his sobs got more and more hysterical.
The legs of the chair were digging deep into the dirt as Yunho stepped on it to cut through the rope with shaky fingers. After a few minutes of desperate cutting and tugging, the rope snapped, Yunho quickly caught the lifeless frame and he fell backwards, the cold body of the man he loved landing on top of him, his back covered in dirt and leaves and the realization hit him that this would be the last time he’d ever get to hold his love like that..
Yunho’s eyes shot open and the first thing he saw was white. White walls, white ceiling, white pain, white nothing. His life was white. His future… white. Nothing.
It took him a while to realize he was still holding something in his left hand. A creased letter.
“I love you. Always.”
He suddenly remembered the last conversation they had had just a few hours before his lover had decided to end it all.
“I love you. Always. Never forget that!”
Yunho frowned, lifting his hand to push his boyfriend’s locks out of his face.
“What’s with you today? Don’t act like we’d never meet again. I’ll be back before dinner.”
The smile he received was stunning, but he didn’t miss the way it didn’t quite reach those beautiful brown eyes.
More tears streamed down his face and it only took him a second to make up his mind and he grabbed the business card that had been on his bedside table ever since his brother had wordlessly put it there.
15 minutes later he was already on the road, the headlights of his Audi cutting through the darkness of a rainy night. His tears had dried and given way for an expression of calm determination. His mind however kept circling, the picture of little dangling feet not leaving his mind, and it took him longer than expected to find the exit that lead to a small run-down town. He looked at the business card again, and the directions brought him to an inconspicuous little house. He knocked and didn’t have to wait long until an old woman opened the door. Her hair was grey with streaks of light brown and her hands were shaking a little, but her face was pleasant. She looked at him with sorrowful eyes.
“I know why you’re here.”
Yunho had expected her to make way for him to get inside but she didn’t move, only standing there and watching him with her sad eyes.
“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice cracking just the tiniest bit.
“I can’t help you.”
“Please. I know I can change it.”
Instead of giving him an answer, she stepped aside and gestured for him to come in.
Relief showed on his face and he quickly stepped into the warm house to escape the cold night. They sat down across from each other, her posture rather stiff, and his shoulders hanging. Before she could say another word, he took out a picture and slid it across the table. Hesitating, she took the picture into her hands and looked at the face of the beautiful young man. Despite her distant behavior, her mouth formed into a smile at the sight of the handsome pale man with black hair and pink lips, who was smiling into the camera, his cheeks flush with excitement.
Yunho’s broken voice cut through the silence. “Isn’t he beautiful?” he asked mournful.
She quickly put the picture down and when she saw a sole tear rolling down the man’s cheek her face turned into a mask bare of emotion.
“Why?” she asked, sliding the picture back across the table. Without answering, he took out the crumbled letter and handed it to her. She started reading it, her small eyes moving fast along the lines of beautiful hand writing.
I love you more than life itself. But I can’t take it anymore. I’m starting to think he’s right and you will be better off without me.
Forgive me.
Jaejoong.
“My father.” He answered her questioning glance.
Minutes passed, with her just looking at him, noting every single teardrop that found its way down his high cheekbones, disappearing into the brown scarf. Yunho was about to just get up and leave when she sadly dropped her gaze.
“You can’t change fate. What has to happen happens.”
He started sobbing and grabbed her fragile arm with both his hands
“Please. I’ve got to make it right. I’ve got to save him. I..” he hiccupped, and wiped his face with an already tear soaked sleeve. “…I know I can.”
She shook her head. “No, you can’t. It was fate’s play. That was the day he had to die.”
His sobs got louder and he kept begging until he fell to his knees.
“Please! Please! I’ve got to save him! I have to… I have to…”
Pulling her arm out of his hold, she regarded him with a long look, before she turned her face away in defeat.
“There might be a way. But...”
“Oh God, please! I’ll do everything to safe him.” Yunho cried out.
“There’s something you could try.”
She got up and the sudden movement made him fall on his behind. As he looked at her with pleading teary eyes, she pointed to a couch.
“Lay down.”
The sun shone through the window and tickled their faces, woke up Jaejoong and he studied his lover’s face lovingly. Yunho’s nose scrunched up when the rays of sun hit him, his eyeballs moving beneath his delicate lids, hair tousled.
“Yunho” he whispered, tracing the lines of the younger man’s face with his pale fingers. Yunho slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Jaejoong leaning over his face.
Jaejoong! Beautiful Jaejoong with rosy cheeks and a bright smile instead of cold skin and lifeless eyes. And for a moment Yunho couldn’t move, couldn’t form a single clear thought, too overwhelmed by the sheer love he was feeling. Too happy to be holding his lover in his arms, and right there and then tears started flowing and he let out a desperate sob, pressing Jaejoong into the warmth of his body, almost crushing the lithe body of his boyfriend.
“Yunho, what’s…Yun-” Jaejoong gasped, “You’re hurting me.”
Yunho quickly released him, but kept crying, rubbing Jaejoong’s back, stroking his face and kissing every inch of him he could reach.
“Yunho.” Jaejoong tried again, shocked by his boyfriend’s behavior. “What’s wrong?”
“I…I had a terrible dream and I’m just so glad you’re here.”
Jaejoong laughed, but his face was still a little concerned. “I’m here. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. But you should get up, Yun. You have to go to work in half an hour.”
Yunho groaned, pulling Jaejoong once more into a tight hug and locking their lips. He attempted to roll them around to get Jaejoong underneath him, but the other pulled away and laughed.
“Come on, Yun. You’ll be late for work.” He got up and left the room, and it was only then that Yunho realized he was in a different room than the one he had fallen asleep in. This room wasn’t unfamiliar though.
Incredulously he got out of bed and walked out of the room just to be met by the sight of an apartment that wasn’t his - anymore. In fact it was the apartment he had shared with Jaejoong five years ago. His unbelieving eyes slowly took in the sight of his old furniture and the green painted wall he had always hated but Jae had insisted on having.
“Uhm…Jae?” he called carefully, wanting to ask about the apartment. However, when his boyfriend came in sight, the question died in his throat because now he saw what he had not realized in bed just a few moments ago: Jaejoong’s hair was blond.
That was when it hit him and all he could do was stare at his boyfriend’s beautiful face, that was still short of a few wrinkles he knew would be there in five years.
“Yun?” Jaejoong asked, confused. “What’s going on? You’re weird today!”
Without paying attention to his boyfriend, Yunho rushed into the kitchen, ignoring the pancakes and eggs and heading straight for the wall calendar, staring at the numbers in disbelief.
When Jaejoong came home that night, he was greeted by a home-cooked meal and candles all over the bedroom floor. Before he could ask what was going on, he was already swept off his feet and carried to the kitchen, where Yunho started feeding him.
Jaejoong managed to laugh between two bites. “You’re weird today Yun.” He got another spoon of rice shoved between his pouty lips and smiled. “I’m not complaining though.”
The only response he got from Yunho was a kiss to his forehead and a breathy “I love you.”
When dinner was over, Yunho pulled his boyfriend towards their bedroom, pressing him up against the door, and they gazed at each other, their faces only illuminated by the dozens of candles.
“I love you.” Yunho breathed and Jaejoong chuckled but his eyes were sincere.
“I know. I love you, too.”
Their lips collided in a kiss and Yunho’s hands found their way underneath his lover’s shirt, tracing the soft lines of his flat stomach. Moaning, Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Yunho’s neck and he got lifted up, his legs finding their way around the other’s waist, before he felt his back touching the cold sheets.
Cloths got ripped off, both of them too eager to feel the slide of skin on skin, and when their groins finally met they both let out a long desperate cry. The temperature of the room kept rising, Yunho’s teeth sinking into a slender neck, Jaejoong’s nails scratching a tanned muscular back.
Yunho pushed in, and his feral thrusts soon turned into gentle rocking, mindless instinct giving way for a lover’s adoration. It didn’t take long though for the pace to turn quick and rough again, and just like that it kept changing, neither of them able to control their raw emotions. Even through his lust-clouded mind Jaejoong noted the sense of sheer desperation to their joining, but his questions slipped his mind when Yunho’s hips suddenly stilled, a final deep groan leaving his lips, and the warmth that filled Jaejoong caused him to reach his peak as well. The last thing he felt before his eyes closed was a wet face pressed into his neck and a strong arm that wrapped around him protectively.
Jaejoong’s breath had long ago evened out and Yunho still lay awake next to him, his fingers lightly brushing the slim waist, whispering I love you’s again and again.
He knew however, what needed to be done. He had known all day, and it was time…
He left without a sound, leaving Jaejoong splayed out naked on the bed and he was sure he left his heart along with him. Yunho’s closet was empty and the only thing that would remind Jaejoong of his former lover in the morning would be the lingering touches on his skin and the letter on the other side of the bed.
I love you more than life itself.
I wish I could tell you why you wake up to this.
I do this for you.
Live happily
Yunho
It was a cold night in September and Yunho couldn’t sleep. The wind kept hitting the branches of an oak tree against his window and all night long the words of a person he had only met once in his life kept haunting him.
It was fate’s play. That was the day he had to die.
He tried to believe what he did was enough to save the man he loved. His father had been the reason. His father had been the one who had mentally abused Jaejoong for years, and who had been the reason Yunho had come home to the sight of dangling feet on the oak tree. Yunho couldn’t imagine what could’ve gone so terribly wrong in Jaejoong’s new life that he’d decide to kill himself… again. In a life where he had never met Yunho’s father, what could possibly happen to make him want to end his life?
It wasn’t enough though. Hoping, praying, believing wasn’t enough. He had to be sure. And that’s why he left his bed in the middle of the night, took his car keys and started the engine, ready for a long drive to a faraway city, a city he had avoided for the last five years.
While he was driving, he kept remembering the last time he had seen his Jaejoong, splayed out naked on their shared bed, so vulnerable, so trusting. And he had just taken that trust and shattered it into pieces by disappearing without leaving a trace, without saying Goodbye, without telling him for a last time… how much he loved him.
Had he moved on? Would he even still recognize Yunho?
In the end it wouldn’t matter because he wasn’t planning on revealing his presence. All he had to know was that Jaejoong was still alive. He only had to see from afar. He had to see a picture that would once and forever chase that of dangling feet out of his scarred mind.
When he finally arrived in the city of his past, it was already noon and Yunho had not eaten anything since dinner last night. However, he kept driving and made his way through the busy streets buzzing with city life, driving along the painfully familiar way to Jaejoong’s childhood home.
When he arrived in front of the house with the oak tree, he parked his car on the opposite side of the street, partly hidden by the big bushes and stopped the engine.
Then he waited.
He wasn’t sure why he came here. He didn’t even know if Jaejoong would be here today. He assumed he just needed to make sure there was no rope, no dangling feet on that cold September day.
The hours passed and the sun was already starting to set when the door to Jaejoong’s house finally opened. As soon as black hair and pale skin appeared, Yunho’s heart started beating wildly and relief washed over him. His emotions hit him so hard; he actually started crying, his hands trembling, a shaky laugh coming out of his mouth. He watched Jaejoong walk over to the oak tree, his black hair shining in the soft light of the setting sun, and fear struck Yunho when he realized his ex-boyfriend was approaching the dreaded tree - the cursed tree.
He tried to tell himself it was okay. There was no rope. He couldn’t see a rope. Jaejoong wouldn’t kill himself again. He was probably just going to clean up the fallen leaves. Yunho gripped the stirring wheel until his knuckles turned white, trying to keep himself from getting out of the car and approaching the other man.
But when Jaejoong grabbed the ladder that was leaning against the oak tree and started climbing it, Yunho couldn’t stop his hands from flying to the door handle, and he couldn’t keep his feet from rushing out of the car, and he definitely couldn’t keep his mouth from screaming.
“Jaejoong!”
The mop of black hair turned and Jaejoong’s smiling face turned into one of disbelief before his feet lost their grip on the steel ladder and he was falling, arms reaching out in a desperate try to grab something, anything.
Yunho had crossed the street before the slender body hit the ground, but he couldn’t stop it from happening and all he could do was watch as Jaejoong’s head hit a rock of the size of a football, an inhuman cry leaving those pink pouty lips. He rushed over to the still body, tears already streaming down his face and muttering a desperate string of pleas.
“Jaejoong, no! No, no, no, no…please don’t…”
As he reached out to touch still rosy cheeks, beautiful brown eyes looked at his face in astonishment, and paling lips moved without sound.
“Jae, no!” Yunho sobbed. He wanted to reach out and crush the unmoving body in a hug, but the growing halo of red liquid that formed around contrasting black hair stopped him, and he only touched Jaejoong’s cheeks instead.
“Jae…”
“Yun…?”
“It’s my entire fault! I’m sorry…” His sobs got louder and he softly brushed Jaejoong’s lips with his, the once sweet taste cold and bitter.
“I love you.”
And with that brown eyes closed, and cold lips released their last breath of air.
It took Yunho exactly two hours to get the strength to get up and leave. It took him another five hours until he stopped crying, two days until he dismissed the idea of ending his life and another week of hiding in his hotel room until he did the only thing he could do. The only hope he had left.
He picked up his car keys to visit someone he had hoped he would never meet again.
By the looks of it she was already expecting him, sitting in front of her house and playing with a strand of hair. Yunho wasn’t surprised she still looked the same. Even though it had been five years since they had last met, not a second had passed since their last meeting. Souls had aged; lives had changed, but not their bodies. And the two of them had already met in this exact moment. A meeting that was apparently fated to happen again, just like the death of beautiful Jaejoong on a cold September day.
Her words had not changed either.
“I can’t help you” she said. But this time her eyes looked more regretful, as if she felt even more pity for the man who had had to watch his lover die twice.
Yunho sank to his knees without a word and grabbed her cold wrinkly hands, bringing them up to his lips.
“It was my fault” he whispered. “I know now…I know what to do to save him. Please give me one more chance.”
Her gaze softened slightly and she stroked his hair. “Don’t you understand?” she asked in a murmur, “You can’t fight fate. He’s time was up. That was the day he had to die.”
Yunho shook his head, desperate. “No! It was my fault both times! I know now…if he had never met me. If we had never met, he’d live. Please…”
She kept silent for a long time, not knowing what to do about the man who didn’t seem to have learned about the way fate worked.
“You’d be willing to erase him from your life to save him? You’d trade all your memories and all your time together… for him to live?”
“Any time. For I can’t live in a world where he doesn’t exist. He only has to… exist!” He silently started crying. “Please! This is my last request! My last hope.”
The old woman stilled and closed her eyes in defeat, knowing fully well what to expect from the future, but not able to deny the broken man’s request. She kissed his hair and brought her lips close enough to whisper in his ear.
“Close your eyes.”
“Yunho!” a woman’s voice called, and he turned around smiling to see his girlfriend running towards him.
“Why are you walking so fast? I thought we were shopping together.” She pouted and Yunho laughed.
Putting an arm around her shoulders, he nuzzled her hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you stopped in front of that window. Did you see anything you liked?”
Before she could answer however, they were both stopped by an old woman, who grabbed Yunho’s arm and stared at him.
“Excuse me, Ma’am?” Yunho’s girlfriend asked, “Can we help you?”
The old woman only smiled a sad smile and gripped Yunho’s arm a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Sir,” she said with a shaky voice. “I had mistaken you for someone else.”
Yunho gave her a friendly nod. “No problem, Ma’am.” But when he tried to pull his arm out of her steel grip, she wouldn’t let go, her eyes fixed on a spot above Yunho’s right shoulder.
“Ma’am? Uhm… my arm” he tried, and after a few more seconds she finally let go of him and nodded absentmindedly. The couple rushed away quickly, a little freaked out by the old woman. The woman however, kept standing there, watching the beautiful young man that had crossed the street just before she had let go of Yunho, his blond hair reflecting the light of the setting sun. She turned around and covered her face in grief, regretting ever getting involved in this story of heart-ache and grief.
It was a cold day in September when Yunho sat at the breakfast table, enjoying his morning coffee, waiting for his wife to be back with this morning’s mail.
For some reason this morning felt even colder than the one before, even though the temperatures had stayed the same for weeks now, and he couldn’t quite put a finger on the cause for the coldness he had been feeling ever since he had opened his eyes that morning.
When his wife finally came through the front door she handed him the mail and turned to wake up the kids for school.
“Anything special?” He asked.
She shrugged. “Only bills and the newspaper.”
He nodded, opened the news-paper and took another sip of coffee.
There didn’t seem to be any big news. Nothing unusual, just the common political debates, the rising gas prizes, a shooting in New York, and there,.. In the corner of page three: a headline that caught his eyes.
He felt his wife coming up behind him and putting her skinny arms around his waist as he kept staring at the intriguing picture of a pale young man with black hair and pink pouty lips.
“He was hot!” he said and put the newspaper down, picking up his screaming son.
When he left the house to go to work, he had already forgotten the headline.
Storm sends oak tree crashing onto two homes. One killed.
A/N: Oh God!!!.-.- is it as bad and rushed as I think it is?
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, Supernatural
Warnings: Character Death, Suicide
Summary: Yunho is willing to do anything to prevent his lover from dying.
4105 wc
daisydeiji’s request:
Rating Preference: Any is fine, but preferably R+
Top Preference: YunJae
Things You PREFER to See: Angst, tragedy, character death, bittersweet stuff,
Things You DO NOT Want to See: genderswitch. prefer no crossdressing.
A/N: Ok, so you wanted Angst, Tragedy and Character Death. I hope you’re happy. I was crying while writing this >.< I hope you don’t mind the supernatural part.
I rewrote it but I’m still not quite happy. -.- There are parts I love, but there are also parts I hate, so… ugh. I had the first version beta-ed, but then I decided to be dumb and rewrote it, and then I didn’t have time for a beta anymore. I’m sorry. English isn’t my first language.
Merry Christmas, I guess! ^_^
I hope you can deal with the cheesiness and stuff…
The Oak Tree
It was a cold day in September when Yunho came home from work to a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Time seemed to stop when he stepped on the brakes, his breath hitching in his throat, his hands gripping the stirring wheel, and as he slowly opened the door and stepped out of his expensive car, taking in the horrifying sight in front of him, he didn’t know how he would ever get that picture out of his head. The picture of the man he loved hanging on the oak tree. The oak tree he had been standing beneath when he had proposed to the love of his life. Now the oak tree had become a stake to an execution. The self-execution of a beautiful man, his black hair clinging to his sweaty pale face, bangs covering the eyes he knew would shine beautifully, were they still filled with life. His adorable little feet, wrapped in his favorite black boots, were dangling back and forth helplessly, his slim body light enough to be lightly swung by the storm blowing through the leaves of the majestic oak tree.
As Yunho stepped closer, his limbs shaking, his heart aching, tears streaming down his face and making him choke on his sobs, he reached his hand out slowly, afraid of touching the dreadful sight. He carefully brushed the soft black hair aside, recoiling when he saw the rope that cut deep into the man’s throat, having ended his life a few hours ago. He sunk to his knees; desperate cries leaving his throat, and he kissed the tips of the unusually clean boots.
Even though he could hardly think at all, his limbs moved on their own, standing up and reaching for the chair that was left on the ground, determined to have no one else see his boyfriend like that. His fingernails scratched the wood as he tried to get a grip on the chair and place it beneath the dangling feet.
Barely able to leave the dead body, he ran into the house, bumping into furniture left and right, and searched the kitchen for a big enough knife. Part of him was thinking it was all just a terrible nightmare, but the second he stormed back outside and saw the dangling body, reality hit him again and his sobs got more and more hysterical.
The legs of the chair were digging deep into the dirt as Yunho stepped on it to cut through the rope with shaky fingers. After a few minutes of desperate cutting and tugging, the rope snapped, Yunho quickly caught the lifeless frame and he fell backwards, the cold body of the man he loved landing on top of him, his back covered in dirt and leaves and the realization hit him that this would be the last time he’d ever get to hold his love like that..
Yunho’s eyes shot open and the first thing he saw was white. White walls, white ceiling, white pain, white nothing. His life was white. His future… white. Nothing.
It took him a while to realize he was still holding something in his left hand. A creased letter.
“I love you. Always.”
He suddenly remembered the last conversation they had had just a few hours before his lover had decided to end it all.
“I love you. Always. Never forget that!”
Yunho frowned, lifting his hand to push his boyfriend’s locks out of his face.
“What’s with you today? Don’t act like we’d never meet again. I’ll be back before dinner.”
The smile he received was stunning, but he didn’t miss the way it didn’t quite reach those beautiful brown eyes.
More tears streamed down his face and it only took him a second to make up his mind and he grabbed the business card that had been on his bedside table ever since his brother had wordlessly put it there.
15 minutes later he was already on the road, the headlights of his Audi cutting through the darkness of a rainy night. His tears had dried and given way for an expression of calm determination. His mind however kept circling, the picture of little dangling feet not leaving his mind, and it took him longer than expected to find the exit that lead to a small run-down town. He looked at the business card again, and the directions brought him to an inconspicuous little house. He knocked and didn’t have to wait long until an old woman opened the door. Her hair was grey with streaks of light brown and her hands were shaking a little, but her face was pleasant. She looked at him with sorrowful eyes.
“I know why you’re here.”
Yunho had expected her to make way for him to get inside but she didn’t move, only standing there and watching him with her sad eyes.
“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice cracking just the tiniest bit.
“I can’t help you.”
“Please. I know I can change it.”
Instead of giving him an answer, she stepped aside and gestured for him to come in.
Relief showed on his face and he quickly stepped into the warm house to escape the cold night. They sat down across from each other, her posture rather stiff, and his shoulders hanging. Before she could say another word, he took out a picture and slid it across the table. Hesitating, she took the picture into her hands and looked at the face of the beautiful young man. Despite her distant behavior, her mouth formed into a smile at the sight of the handsome pale man with black hair and pink lips, who was smiling into the camera, his cheeks flush with excitement.
Yunho’s broken voice cut through the silence. “Isn’t he beautiful?” he asked mournful.
She quickly put the picture down and when she saw a sole tear rolling down the man’s cheek her face turned into a mask bare of emotion.
“Why?” she asked, sliding the picture back across the table. Without answering, he took out the crumbled letter and handed it to her. She started reading it, her small eyes moving fast along the lines of beautiful hand writing.
I love you more than life itself. But I can’t take it anymore. I’m starting to think he’s right and you will be better off without me.
Forgive me.
Jaejoong.
“My father.” He answered her questioning glance.
Minutes passed, with her just looking at him, noting every single teardrop that found its way down his high cheekbones, disappearing into the brown scarf. Yunho was about to just get up and leave when she sadly dropped her gaze.
“You can’t change fate. What has to happen happens.”
He started sobbing and grabbed her fragile arm with both his hands
“Please. I’ve got to make it right. I’ve got to save him. I..” he hiccupped, and wiped his face with an already tear soaked sleeve. “…I know I can.”
She shook her head. “No, you can’t. It was fate’s play. That was the day he had to die.”
His sobs got louder and he kept begging until he fell to his knees.
“Please! Please! I’ve got to save him! I have to… I have to…”
Pulling her arm out of his hold, she regarded him with a long look, before she turned her face away in defeat.
“There might be a way. But...”
“Oh God, please! I’ll do everything to safe him.” Yunho cried out.
“There’s something you could try.”
She got up and the sudden movement made him fall on his behind. As he looked at her with pleading teary eyes, she pointed to a couch.
“Lay down.”
The sun shone through the window and tickled their faces, woke up Jaejoong and he studied his lover’s face lovingly. Yunho’s nose scrunched up when the rays of sun hit him, his eyeballs moving beneath his delicate lids, hair tousled.
“Yunho” he whispered, tracing the lines of the younger man’s face with his pale fingers. Yunho slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Jaejoong leaning over his face.
Jaejoong! Beautiful Jaejoong with rosy cheeks and a bright smile instead of cold skin and lifeless eyes. And for a moment Yunho couldn’t move, couldn’t form a single clear thought, too overwhelmed by the sheer love he was feeling. Too happy to be holding his lover in his arms, and right there and then tears started flowing and he let out a desperate sob, pressing Jaejoong into the warmth of his body, almost crushing the lithe body of his boyfriend.
“Yunho, what’s…Yun-” Jaejoong gasped, “You’re hurting me.”
Yunho quickly released him, but kept crying, rubbing Jaejoong’s back, stroking his face and kissing every inch of him he could reach.
“Yunho.” Jaejoong tried again, shocked by his boyfriend’s behavior. “What’s wrong?”
“I…I had a terrible dream and I’m just so glad you’re here.”
Jaejoong laughed, but his face was still a little concerned. “I’m here. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. But you should get up, Yun. You have to go to work in half an hour.”
Yunho groaned, pulling Jaejoong once more into a tight hug and locking their lips. He attempted to roll them around to get Jaejoong underneath him, but the other pulled away and laughed.
“Come on, Yun. You’ll be late for work.” He got up and left the room, and it was only then that Yunho realized he was in a different room than the one he had fallen asleep in. This room wasn’t unfamiliar though.
Incredulously he got out of bed and walked out of the room just to be met by the sight of an apartment that wasn’t his - anymore. In fact it was the apartment he had shared with Jaejoong five years ago. His unbelieving eyes slowly took in the sight of his old furniture and the green painted wall he had always hated but Jae had insisted on having.
“Uhm…Jae?” he called carefully, wanting to ask about the apartment. However, when his boyfriend came in sight, the question died in his throat because now he saw what he had not realized in bed just a few moments ago: Jaejoong’s hair was blond.
That was when it hit him and all he could do was stare at his boyfriend’s beautiful face, that was still short of a few wrinkles he knew would be there in five years.
“Yun?” Jaejoong asked, confused. “What’s going on? You’re weird today!”
Without paying attention to his boyfriend, Yunho rushed into the kitchen, ignoring the pancakes and eggs and heading straight for the wall calendar, staring at the numbers in disbelief.
When Jaejoong came home that night, he was greeted by a home-cooked meal and candles all over the bedroom floor. Before he could ask what was going on, he was already swept off his feet and carried to the kitchen, where Yunho started feeding him.
Jaejoong managed to laugh between two bites. “You’re weird today Yun.” He got another spoon of rice shoved between his pouty lips and smiled. “I’m not complaining though.”
The only response he got from Yunho was a kiss to his forehead and a breathy “I love you.”
When dinner was over, Yunho pulled his boyfriend towards their bedroom, pressing him up against the door, and they gazed at each other, their faces only illuminated by the dozens of candles.
“I love you.” Yunho breathed and Jaejoong chuckled but his eyes were sincere.
“I know. I love you, too.”
Their lips collided in a kiss and Yunho’s hands found their way underneath his lover’s shirt, tracing the soft lines of his flat stomach. Moaning, Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Yunho’s neck and he got lifted up, his legs finding their way around the other’s waist, before he felt his back touching the cold sheets.
Cloths got ripped off, both of them too eager to feel the slide of skin on skin, and when their groins finally met they both let out a long desperate cry. The temperature of the room kept rising, Yunho’s teeth sinking into a slender neck, Jaejoong’s nails scratching a tanned muscular back.
Yunho pushed in, and his feral thrusts soon turned into gentle rocking, mindless instinct giving way for a lover’s adoration. It didn’t take long though for the pace to turn quick and rough again, and just like that it kept changing, neither of them able to control their raw emotions. Even through his lust-clouded mind Jaejoong noted the sense of sheer desperation to their joining, but his questions slipped his mind when Yunho’s hips suddenly stilled, a final deep groan leaving his lips, and the warmth that filled Jaejoong caused him to reach his peak as well. The last thing he felt before his eyes closed was a wet face pressed into his neck and a strong arm that wrapped around him protectively.
Jaejoong’s breath had long ago evened out and Yunho still lay awake next to him, his fingers lightly brushing the slim waist, whispering I love you’s again and again.
He knew however, what needed to be done. He had known all day, and it was time…
He left without a sound, leaving Jaejoong splayed out naked on the bed and he was sure he left his heart along with him. Yunho’s closet was empty and the only thing that would remind Jaejoong of his former lover in the morning would be the lingering touches on his skin and the letter on the other side of the bed.
I love you more than life itself.
I wish I could tell you why you wake up to this.
I do this for you.
Live happily
Yunho
It was a cold night in September and Yunho couldn’t sleep. The wind kept hitting the branches of an oak tree against his window and all night long the words of a person he had only met once in his life kept haunting him.
It was fate’s play. That was the day he had to die.
He tried to believe what he did was enough to save the man he loved. His father had been the reason. His father had been the one who had mentally abused Jaejoong for years, and who had been the reason Yunho had come home to the sight of dangling feet on the oak tree. Yunho couldn’t imagine what could’ve gone so terribly wrong in Jaejoong’s new life that he’d decide to kill himself… again. In a life where he had never met Yunho’s father, what could possibly happen to make him want to end his life?
It wasn’t enough though. Hoping, praying, believing wasn’t enough. He had to be sure. And that’s why he left his bed in the middle of the night, took his car keys and started the engine, ready for a long drive to a faraway city, a city he had avoided for the last five years.
While he was driving, he kept remembering the last time he had seen his Jaejoong, splayed out naked on their shared bed, so vulnerable, so trusting. And he had just taken that trust and shattered it into pieces by disappearing without leaving a trace, without saying Goodbye, without telling him for a last time… how much he loved him.
Had he moved on? Would he even still recognize Yunho?
In the end it wouldn’t matter because he wasn’t planning on revealing his presence. All he had to know was that Jaejoong was still alive. He only had to see from afar. He had to see a picture that would once and forever chase that of dangling feet out of his scarred mind.
When he finally arrived in the city of his past, it was already noon and Yunho had not eaten anything since dinner last night. However, he kept driving and made his way through the busy streets buzzing with city life, driving along the painfully familiar way to Jaejoong’s childhood home.
When he arrived in front of the house with the oak tree, he parked his car on the opposite side of the street, partly hidden by the big bushes and stopped the engine.
Then he waited.
He wasn’t sure why he came here. He didn’t even know if Jaejoong would be here today. He assumed he just needed to make sure there was no rope, no dangling feet on that cold September day.
The hours passed and the sun was already starting to set when the door to Jaejoong’s house finally opened. As soon as black hair and pale skin appeared, Yunho’s heart started beating wildly and relief washed over him. His emotions hit him so hard; he actually started crying, his hands trembling, a shaky laugh coming out of his mouth. He watched Jaejoong walk over to the oak tree, his black hair shining in the soft light of the setting sun, and fear struck Yunho when he realized his ex-boyfriend was approaching the dreaded tree - the cursed tree.
He tried to tell himself it was okay. There was no rope. He couldn’t see a rope. Jaejoong wouldn’t kill himself again. He was probably just going to clean up the fallen leaves. Yunho gripped the stirring wheel until his knuckles turned white, trying to keep himself from getting out of the car and approaching the other man.
But when Jaejoong grabbed the ladder that was leaning against the oak tree and started climbing it, Yunho couldn’t stop his hands from flying to the door handle, and he couldn’t keep his feet from rushing out of the car, and he definitely couldn’t keep his mouth from screaming.
“Jaejoong!”
The mop of black hair turned and Jaejoong’s smiling face turned into one of disbelief before his feet lost their grip on the steel ladder and he was falling, arms reaching out in a desperate try to grab something, anything.
Yunho had crossed the street before the slender body hit the ground, but he couldn’t stop it from happening and all he could do was watch as Jaejoong’s head hit a rock of the size of a football, an inhuman cry leaving those pink pouty lips. He rushed over to the still body, tears already streaming down his face and muttering a desperate string of pleas.
“Jaejoong, no! No, no, no, no…please don’t…”
As he reached out to touch still rosy cheeks, beautiful brown eyes looked at his face in astonishment, and paling lips moved without sound.
“Jae, no!” Yunho sobbed. He wanted to reach out and crush the unmoving body in a hug, but the growing halo of red liquid that formed around contrasting black hair stopped him, and he only touched Jaejoong’s cheeks instead.
“Jae…”
“Yun…?”
“It’s my entire fault! I’m sorry…” His sobs got louder and he softly brushed Jaejoong’s lips with his, the once sweet taste cold and bitter.
“I love you.”
And with that brown eyes closed, and cold lips released their last breath of air.
It took Yunho exactly two hours to get the strength to get up and leave. It took him another five hours until he stopped crying, two days until he dismissed the idea of ending his life and another week of hiding in his hotel room until he did the only thing he could do. The only hope he had left.
He picked up his car keys to visit someone he had hoped he would never meet again.
By the looks of it she was already expecting him, sitting in front of her house and playing with a strand of hair. Yunho wasn’t surprised she still looked the same. Even though it had been five years since they had last met, not a second had passed since their last meeting. Souls had aged; lives had changed, but not their bodies. And the two of them had already met in this exact moment. A meeting that was apparently fated to happen again, just like the death of beautiful Jaejoong on a cold September day.
Her words had not changed either.
“I can’t help you” she said. But this time her eyes looked more regretful, as if she felt even more pity for the man who had had to watch his lover die twice.
Yunho sank to his knees without a word and grabbed her cold wrinkly hands, bringing them up to his lips.
“It was my fault” he whispered. “I know now…I know what to do to save him. Please give me one more chance.”
Her gaze softened slightly and she stroked his hair. “Don’t you understand?” she asked in a murmur, “You can’t fight fate. He’s time was up. That was the day he had to die.”
Yunho shook his head, desperate. “No! It was my fault both times! I know now…if he had never met me. If we had never met, he’d live. Please…”
She kept silent for a long time, not knowing what to do about the man who didn’t seem to have learned about the way fate worked.
“You’d be willing to erase him from your life to save him? You’d trade all your memories and all your time together… for him to live?”
“Any time. For I can’t live in a world where he doesn’t exist. He only has to… exist!” He silently started crying. “Please! This is my last request! My last hope.”
The old woman stilled and closed her eyes in defeat, knowing fully well what to expect from the future, but not able to deny the broken man’s request. She kissed his hair and brought her lips close enough to whisper in his ear.
“Close your eyes.”
“Yunho!” a woman’s voice called, and he turned around smiling to see his girlfriend running towards him.
“Why are you walking so fast? I thought we were shopping together.” She pouted and Yunho laughed.
Putting an arm around her shoulders, he nuzzled her hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you stopped in front of that window. Did you see anything you liked?”
Before she could answer however, they were both stopped by an old woman, who grabbed Yunho’s arm and stared at him.
“Excuse me, Ma’am?” Yunho’s girlfriend asked, “Can we help you?”
The old woman only smiled a sad smile and gripped Yunho’s arm a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Sir,” she said with a shaky voice. “I had mistaken you for someone else.”
Yunho gave her a friendly nod. “No problem, Ma’am.” But when he tried to pull his arm out of her steel grip, she wouldn’t let go, her eyes fixed on a spot above Yunho’s right shoulder.
“Ma’am? Uhm… my arm” he tried, and after a few more seconds she finally let go of him and nodded absentmindedly. The couple rushed away quickly, a little freaked out by the old woman. The woman however, kept standing there, watching the beautiful young man that had crossed the street just before she had let go of Yunho, his blond hair reflecting the light of the setting sun. She turned around and covered her face in grief, regretting ever getting involved in this story of heart-ache and grief.
It was a cold day in September when Yunho sat at the breakfast table, enjoying his morning coffee, waiting for his wife to be back with this morning’s mail.
For some reason this morning felt even colder than the one before, even though the temperatures had stayed the same for weeks now, and he couldn’t quite put a finger on the cause for the coldness he had been feeling ever since he had opened his eyes that morning.
When his wife finally came through the front door she handed him the mail and turned to wake up the kids for school.
“Anything special?” He asked.
She shrugged. “Only bills and the newspaper.”
He nodded, opened the news-paper and took another sip of coffee.
There didn’t seem to be any big news. Nothing unusual, just the common political debates, the rising gas prizes, a shooting in New York, and there,.. In the corner of page three: a headline that caught his eyes.
He felt his wife coming up behind him and putting her skinny arms around his waist as he kept staring at the intriguing picture of a pale young man with black hair and pink pouty lips.
“He was hot!” he said and put the newspaper down, picking up his screaming son.
When he left the house to go to work, he had already forgotten the headline.
Storm sends oak tree crashing onto two homes. One killed.
A/N: Oh God!!!.-.- is it as bad and rushed as I think it is?