So Much Mine: Section Thirty-One
Section Thirty-One
Some of these sections are going to be shorter as I go from scene to scene. The fic will probably be ending in a few days. I would like to thank you all for your contributions and support. It has been wonderful meeting and knowing all of you. Thank you again for reading!
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: Overall NC-17.
Smex Smut vetted by: Ranalore.
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Previous Sections:
One; Two; Three; Four; Five; Six; Seven; Eight; Nine; Ten; Eleven; Twelve; Thirteen; Fourteen; Fifteen; Sixteen; Seventeen; Eighteen; Nineteen; Twenty; Twenty-One; Twenty-Two; Twenty-Three; Twenty-Four; Twenty-Five; Twenty-Six; Twenty-Seven; Twenty-Eight; Twenty-Nine; Section Thirty
Seoul spun out under the night clouds, the city’s lit landscape touching the frothy low canopy, hints of silver veins dipping down to brush along avenues of skyscrapers. A glass elevator took Yunho and Jaejoong to the top floor of the hotel, the ride a slow ascent past the rise of the building’s walls. Twenty stories up, the city suddenly came into view from the edge of the hill, a sparkling blanket of gold dapples running in a grid work sprawl out from Namsan park. The tower blinked, a red beacon winking through the dense fog rolling through the hills. In a few hours, the city would be swaddled in mists, its shine dimmed under the greying kiss of moisture but for now, it coyly flirted with the young men, a veil dance designed to romance even the hardest of hearts.
The front desk clerk didn’t blink at the sight of the two young Koreans as they approached, the singers’ easy mannerism and Yunho’s charismatic smile spoke of belonging in the lush environs of the secluded resort, Jaejoong’s casual sensuality lending an blasé elegance to the worn jeans, faded t-shirt and stained white hoodie he affected.
Yunho grinned to himself, catching the desk clerks’ covert study of his lover, the older man’s eyes watching the lithe singer patrol the lobby, Jaejoong’s inquisitive mind drawn to the sculptures interspersed throughout the wide corridors. A tall twist of metal made the singer stop, pulling his rose sunglasses halfway down, his head canted up in a fluid silhouette to stare at the impressionistic coupling of a man and a woman around what looked like frilled seaweed to the group’s leader.
A keycard slid slowly from the clerk’s hand, a professional smile and a similar raking glance over Yunho’s face, reminiscent of the lingering stare he’d given Jaejoong then the room was theirs. Hooking his fingers into the singer’s back pocket, Yunho pulled Jaejoong along, whispering into his ear that they could study the art in the morning, provided they could still walk. Jaejoong’s bashful laughter resonated against Yunho’s collarbone, the singer’s blushing face tucked against his lover’s chest, hiding behind the sunglasses that dominated his face.
Warm air kept the elevator comfortable, the glass a stinging iced sheet from the blustery winds buffeting the hill rise the currents rode up from the valley below. Yunho slid his the back of his hand along Jaejoong’s waist, a patch of skin showing between the gap between his jeans and shirt. The singer allowed a smile to ghost over his lush mouth, keeping his face half hidden behind a curtain of ebony hair. A ding signaled their floor, the few seconds up to the room leaving jagged edged butterflies in Jaejoong’s stomach.
They’d come so far between them, a bitter start to the warm-scented future they could have. Jae felt the tremors in his heart, doubts of what time would hold for them. Shaking off the whispering insecurities echoing at the base of his skull, Jaejoong stood at the elevator’s threshold, his legs trembling when he reached out to take Yunho’s proffered hand. A wavering dimness greeted them, the foyer on the top floor lightly illuminated, enough to provide guidance to the few room doors along the hall.
The elevator door closed behind them, shutting the night sky out. Turning around, Yunho pushed Jaejoong against the wall, a burled walnut planking set firm between marbled sheets. A triangular sconce offered a faint swath of light, Jaejoong’s beauty highlighted in copper and gold. Yunho’s hands gripped into the singer’s shoulders, holding him still, his face solemn as Yunho regarded the man he now called his.
‘Say you’re mine.” Yunho leaned into the singer’s mouth, pulling a kiss from Jae’s willing heat. “I want to spend tonight hearing you whisper that…scream that. I want that to be the only thing I hear from your mouth when we’re in bed, maybe my name.. until you’re too hoarse to whisper it any longer.”
Jae curled his fingers down Yunho’s waistband, sliding his hands around the small of this lover’s back. Their kiss, torrid and passionate, ended too quickly for the singer’s liking, a deep growl of protest in his throat when Yunho pulled back to break them apart.
“You’re teasing me with that.” Jaejoong, emboldened by the seclusion in the foyer, suckled at Yunho’s mouth, pulling on the other man’s lower lip.
“I want to hear you see it.” Yunho pressed in, trapping Jaejoong against the hard wall. “Just once. Now. Out here.”
“Yours.” Jaejoong whispered, his tongue finding a dry spot on Yunho’s lips. With a dab, he moistened the dryness, claiming the final untouched part of his lover’s kiss.
“Good.” Satisfied, Yunho nodded curtly, tapping the keycard against the tip of Jaejoong’s nose. “Let’s go find our room.”
A string of green lights on the door access, a discreet flash of light set down inside of a pine inset, the locking mechanism clicking open. Yunho turned the door, pushing it open to let Jaejoong in first. The singer took a step forward, holding his breath as he crossed the threshold. The series of phone calls Yunho made from inside of Club NB laid out a haven the leader had hoped the hotel could provide them for a night stolen from the chaos of their lives. He got his response in the awed gasp from his lover’s gaping mouth.
The room was lit by dim lamps, unobtrusive glimmers intended to highlight the sweeping cityscape framed by the glass wall that wrapped around nearly half of the room, its placement in the building lending the luxurious suite a deep privacy and a tantalizing promise of open skies. A wide bed dominated a solid wall paneled in deep rich cherry wood, the soft Egyptian cotton sheets pulled back to a crisp corner. Blush red peonies spilled from thin-walled porcelain vases, the ceramics nearly translucent in the light shining through.
Silver platters were arranged on a low table set in the middle of a sitting area, the overstuffed plump sofas canted to take advantage of the stunning view. Fragrant aromas steamed up from the edges of one of the domed dishes, Jae’s stomach rumbling its complaints. Yunho grinned, his own belly thin and weak from lack of food, the night’s activities running him lean in energy. Jaejoong slipped off his shoes, working his socks off and rolled them into a ball, tucking them into one of the discarded sneakers. Padding on bare feet, he crouched by the table, cautiously lifting up one of the domes and inhaled deeply.
Yunho followed, moving more slowly so as to watch Jaejoong’s pleasure dawn on his pretty face. They’d rarely had time for a lengthy meal, usually foraging from food ordered in and quickly consumed while standing or hunched over work, gulps of water taken between bites. Yunho couldn’t remember the last time he had a sit down dinner, surrounded by the others. He would have to see if they could carve that time out of their schedule, perhaps a single night when they could gather and sit, a leisurely meal among the closest of friends.
Jaejoong squealed, a rarely heard sound. Yunho smirked at the sight of the massive, swollen red berry his lover held aloft, Jaejoong standing to place a hearty kiss on the corner of Yunho’s laughing mouth. Strawberries were a rare favourite, a meaty sweet Jaejoong coveted even during peak seasons of the fruit. Yunho took the berry, the delight in Jae’s face a treat to see.
“The first one should be yours.” Turning, the ebony haired singer stopped as Yunho’s arm captured him from behind, the other’s crook tight up against his chest and over his shoulder. “I was going to get another one.”
“This one…first.” Yunho sucked on the strawberry, moistening its deep red meat, not cutting into the berry with his teeth. Sucking hard on its tip, he slid the fruit over Jaejoong’s slightly parted lips, bending his head down to nibble along Jae’s jaw. “Bite.”
Jaejoong bit into the fruit carefully, its semi-sweet juices spurting out of the delectable meat. He could taste his lover’s mouth on the berry, a tantalizing, erotic accent that buried into his heart. Sucking on the strawberry meat, Jae let his eyes hood, drawing his gaze to the side. Yunho’s cheek brushed his nape as the other turned Jaejoong around, slowly leading him until Yunho’s mouth teased at the droplets of juices trembling along the ridge of his full upper lip. Jaejoong leaned into the caress, letting Yunho lave off the last remnants of the strawberry from his mouth, his breathing shallow with desire.
“There’s dinner in there, I hope.” Yunho encircled Jaejoong’s waist, cupping the singer to his body. He could stay like that forever, the warmth of his lover on him and the scent of Jaejoong in his lungs. Yunho reluctantly nodded towards the food trays, one of the domes steamed with hot condensation. “You have to eat. Come along.”
Later, Jaejoong couldn’t have said what they’d eaten, the food flavoured by small bites of Yunho’s mouth on his. He remembered another taste of hearty strawberries, shared nibbles passed from his lips onto Yunho’s tongue. Behind them, soft R&B music played, a rolling river of sound coursing over his senses. The skyline dimmed as the night passed, lights doused as Seoul slowly sank into slumber, homes tucking into sleep below the two lovers’ watchful gaze.
The music shifted, deepening into a soulful crooning of love. Belly full, Jae leaned back on the sofa’s arm, a lean sated cat stretching out and working the kinks from his legs and shoulder. Standing, Yunho took Jae’s hands into his, pulling his lover up onto his feet. Curious, Jaejoong was silent as Yunho led him around the table and in front of the glass wall, the city still glittering behind them.
Fog rolled in tight, massive streams of mist rising from the cooling night’s breath, filling in the edges of the valley below. In an hour, Seoul would be lost to the low-spilling clouds but for now, it reached out to their private haven on the hill, an ambient illumination reflected on the fog’s lower mists. Yunho’s fingers steepled through Jaejoong’s, a slow weave of bone and flesh working a symphony of sensations on the sensitive flat of Jae’s palm. Shivering, the singer felt a wave of goose bumps ripple on his shoulders, the thin shirt and hoodie offering little warmth for the chilled erotic tingle stringing along his bones.
“Take this off.” Yunho tugged at the shoulders of the hoodie, sliding the garment down his lover’s arms, Jae’s biceps bunching from the effort. “I want to be the one holding you, not the memory of me held in this.”
Jaejoong leaned into Yunho’s chest, working his shoulders against the other’s while the sweat jacket was pulled from his torso. It pooled down to the floor, kicked aside by Yunho’s foot, freeing the space around them for what Yunho had in mind.
“Ah…” Jaejoong’s hands opened, accepting Yunho’s fingers as the leader wove his arms down into Jae’s, pressed together belly to belly, their grasp on one another’s hands tight. Their clenched fists hung down at their waists, tied solely by the tangle of fingers and shared breath, their cheeks touching, mouths misting unspoken words into their souls. Standing there, silent against one another, the lovers let the night fill them, stretching out their consciousnesses until only the other existed.
A rough, whiskey of a voice echoed a low lying bass into the room, immediately familiar to the singer’s heart.. Yunho began a sway of their lightly joined bodies, stepping into a slow dance, the barest of movements of their feet through the thick pile of carpet. Yunho’s lead left whorls in the plush, filled by Jae’s bare feet behind him. Sliding his face down, Jae rested his cheekbone against the rise of Yunho’s chest, finding the beat of the music in his lover’s heartbeat.
Louis Armstrong began singing of bright blessed days and dark sacred nights, Jae finally succumbing to the American’s liquid voice, hearing his world in the man’s soulful crooning. The dark, whiskey tones of the song were unknown to the leader, but the sensual flow of music touched something deep inside of him. Stepping forward, keeping his hands in Jae’s, Yunho turned his lover around the carpeted floor, rocking him gently through the room, their bodies entwined in a languid fluid movement. Jaejoong’s long shuddering sigh released the last of the tension in his soul, finally surrendering to the other man’s firm embrace. Yunho rested his jaw against the crown of his lover’s head, the soft black silk of Jae’s hair a delectable blend of Djarum cigarette smoke, winter air and vanilla.
“There’s no one else I want in my life, you know.” Jaejoong’s words were nearly lost under the music, a whispered confession of love choked around pent-up emotion. “I’ve been… seduced by others… wanted a few but when the time came, there was something inside of me that said to wait…because none of those men were you.”
“You don’t need to tell me this, Boo.” Yunho tasted the night on his lover’s skin, grazing a fawning kiss on Jae’s forehead. “From now on, I know there won’t be anyone in your heart but me.”
“I need to… tell you…share me.” Jaejoong tilted his face up, staring into his lover’s eyes. “When I lived in Itaewon, I spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be in love… but there were a lot of times when I just wanted to feel someone against me. I wanted someone to hold me when things got so rough I wanted to give up.”
“I spent nights trying not to cry because I was so cold inside.” Jae continued, hoping to finish what his heart burgeoned to reveal. “I thought I wasn’t going to survive it and I just wanted to find some sort of warmth. I was so driven to become a singer that I forgot the dreams I had to have someone love me… because I thought it wouldn’t happen…not to someone like me.”
“I felt every time one of those men touched me, I was selling a piece of me off, breaking off parts of my heart and giving it away so it could be sucked dry.” Jae’s voice broke, Yunho’s grip tightening on his lover’s hands, the other wanting to wipe away the pain in Jaejoong’s soul. “Then you came into my life and I swear, every shard of heart glass I’d thrown away came rushing back to pierce me, bleeding me out when I thought I couldn’t even feel anymore.”
“I just need you…and want you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you for … filling in the empty spaces I carved out so I wouldn’t feel hurt anymore.” Breathless, Jae’s lashes stung with unshed tears, pain he thought he’d shed long ago. “But you’ve made me feel again, Yunnie. My dear Yunnie-ah.”
“I’ve been to Trance.” Yunho admitted, his heart breaking at the desolation in his beloved’s voice. “I saw the… I saw what those other boys were doing to make a living. I don’t want to think of that kind of life for you. It kills me.”
“I never… let any of the men there get more than a touch.” Jae dropped his eyes, wanting his lover to believe him. Yunho sighed, knowing the singer merely wanted absolution for any imagined sin of being desirable in a smoky room filled with lustful men. Jae would have appeared to be an easy mark, the feral innocence of the singer’s graceful body and exotic face nearly feminine in their beauty. “Just so you know… you really are the first. The first one…”
“I know that, BooJae.” Yunho reassured his lover, unhooking his hands from Jae’s, sliding his arms about the other man’s waist. The dance stilled, their movements lost in confessionals and desire. “I know your body. I’ve felt it open for me. I know that no one’s ever touched you like I have and that does things to me… to my gut… that I can’t even explain.”
“You touch parts of me… my soul…Yunnie-ah.” Jaejoong kissed his lover, wanting Yunho deep into the back of his throat. “I want you to touch all of me. I want you to be inside of me, tonight…forever…always.”
Some of these sections are going to be shorter as I go from scene to scene. The fic will probably be ending in a few days. I would like to thank you all for your contributions and support. It has been wonderful meeting and knowing all of you. Thank you again for reading!
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: Overall NC-17.
Smex Smut vetted by: Ranalore.
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Previous Sections:
One; Two; Three; Four; Five; Six; Seven; Eight; Nine; Ten; Eleven; Twelve; Thirteen; Fourteen; Fifteen; Sixteen; Seventeen; Eighteen; Nineteen; Twenty; Twenty-One; Twenty-Two; Twenty-Three; Twenty-Four; Twenty-Five; Twenty-Six; Twenty-Seven; Twenty-Eight; Twenty-Nine; Section Thirty
Seoul spun out under the night clouds, the city’s lit landscape touching the frothy low canopy, hints of silver veins dipping down to brush along avenues of skyscrapers. A glass elevator took Yunho and Jaejoong to the top floor of the hotel, the ride a slow ascent past the rise of the building’s walls. Twenty stories up, the city suddenly came into view from the edge of the hill, a sparkling blanket of gold dapples running in a grid work sprawl out from Namsan park. The tower blinked, a red beacon winking through the dense fog rolling through the hills. In a few hours, the city would be swaddled in mists, its shine dimmed under the greying kiss of moisture but for now, it coyly flirted with the young men, a veil dance designed to romance even the hardest of hearts.
The front desk clerk didn’t blink at the sight of the two young Koreans as they approached, the singers’ easy mannerism and Yunho’s charismatic smile spoke of belonging in the lush environs of the secluded resort, Jaejoong’s casual sensuality lending an blasé elegance to the worn jeans, faded t-shirt and stained white hoodie he affected.
Yunho grinned to himself, catching the desk clerks’ covert study of his lover, the older man’s eyes watching the lithe singer patrol the lobby, Jaejoong’s inquisitive mind drawn to the sculptures interspersed throughout the wide corridors. A tall twist of metal made the singer stop, pulling his rose sunglasses halfway down, his head canted up in a fluid silhouette to stare at the impressionistic coupling of a man and a woman around what looked like frilled seaweed to the group’s leader.
A keycard slid slowly from the clerk’s hand, a professional smile and a similar raking glance over Yunho’s face, reminiscent of the lingering stare he’d given Jaejoong then the room was theirs. Hooking his fingers into the singer’s back pocket, Yunho pulled Jaejoong along, whispering into his ear that they could study the art in the morning, provided they could still walk. Jaejoong’s bashful laughter resonated against Yunho’s collarbone, the singer’s blushing face tucked against his lover’s chest, hiding behind the sunglasses that dominated his face.
Warm air kept the elevator comfortable, the glass a stinging iced sheet from the blustery winds buffeting the hill rise the currents rode up from the valley below. Yunho slid his the back of his hand along Jaejoong’s waist, a patch of skin showing between the gap between his jeans and shirt. The singer allowed a smile to ghost over his lush mouth, keeping his face half hidden behind a curtain of ebony hair. A ding signaled their floor, the few seconds up to the room leaving jagged edged butterflies in Jaejoong’s stomach.
They’d come so far between them, a bitter start to the warm-scented future they could have. Jae felt the tremors in his heart, doubts of what time would hold for them. Shaking off the whispering insecurities echoing at the base of his skull, Jaejoong stood at the elevator’s threshold, his legs trembling when he reached out to take Yunho’s proffered hand. A wavering dimness greeted them, the foyer on the top floor lightly illuminated, enough to provide guidance to the few room doors along the hall.
The elevator door closed behind them, shutting the night sky out. Turning around, Yunho pushed Jaejoong against the wall, a burled walnut planking set firm between marbled sheets. A triangular sconce offered a faint swath of light, Jaejoong’s beauty highlighted in copper and gold. Yunho’s hands gripped into the singer’s shoulders, holding him still, his face solemn as Yunho regarded the man he now called his.
‘Say you’re mine.” Yunho leaned into the singer’s mouth, pulling a kiss from Jae’s willing heat. “I want to spend tonight hearing you whisper that…scream that. I want that to be the only thing I hear from your mouth when we’re in bed, maybe my name.. until you’re too hoarse to whisper it any longer.”
Jae curled his fingers down Yunho’s waistband, sliding his hands around the small of this lover’s back. Their kiss, torrid and passionate, ended too quickly for the singer’s liking, a deep growl of protest in his throat when Yunho pulled back to break them apart.
“You’re teasing me with that.” Jaejoong, emboldened by the seclusion in the foyer, suckled at Yunho’s mouth, pulling on the other man’s lower lip.
“I want to hear you see it.” Yunho pressed in, trapping Jaejoong against the hard wall. “Just once. Now. Out here.”
“Yours.” Jaejoong whispered, his tongue finding a dry spot on Yunho’s lips. With a dab, he moistened the dryness, claiming the final untouched part of his lover’s kiss.
“Good.” Satisfied, Yunho nodded curtly, tapping the keycard against the tip of Jaejoong’s nose. “Let’s go find our room.”
A string of green lights on the door access, a discreet flash of light set down inside of a pine inset, the locking mechanism clicking open. Yunho turned the door, pushing it open to let Jaejoong in first. The singer took a step forward, holding his breath as he crossed the threshold. The series of phone calls Yunho made from inside of Club NB laid out a haven the leader had hoped the hotel could provide them for a night stolen from the chaos of their lives. He got his response in the awed gasp from his lover’s gaping mouth.
The room was lit by dim lamps, unobtrusive glimmers intended to highlight the sweeping cityscape framed by the glass wall that wrapped around nearly half of the room, its placement in the building lending the luxurious suite a deep privacy and a tantalizing promise of open skies. A wide bed dominated a solid wall paneled in deep rich cherry wood, the soft Egyptian cotton sheets pulled back to a crisp corner. Blush red peonies spilled from thin-walled porcelain vases, the ceramics nearly translucent in the light shining through.
Silver platters were arranged on a low table set in the middle of a sitting area, the overstuffed plump sofas canted to take advantage of the stunning view. Fragrant aromas steamed up from the edges of one of the domed dishes, Jae’s stomach rumbling its complaints. Yunho grinned, his own belly thin and weak from lack of food, the night’s activities running him lean in energy. Jaejoong slipped off his shoes, working his socks off and rolled them into a ball, tucking them into one of the discarded sneakers. Padding on bare feet, he crouched by the table, cautiously lifting up one of the domes and inhaled deeply.
Yunho followed, moving more slowly so as to watch Jaejoong’s pleasure dawn on his pretty face. They’d rarely had time for a lengthy meal, usually foraging from food ordered in and quickly consumed while standing or hunched over work, gulps of water taken between bites. Yunho couldn’t remember the last time he had a sit down dinner, surrounded by the others. He would have to see if they could carve that time out of their schedule, perhaps a single night when they could gather and sit, a leisurely meal among the closest of friends.
Jaejoong squealed, a rarely heard sound. Yunho smirked at the sight of the massive, swollen red berry his lover held aloft, Jaejoong standing to place a hearty kiss on the corner of Yunho’s laughing mouth. Strawberries were a rare favourite, a meaty sweet Jaejoong coveted even during peak seasons of the fruit. Yunho took the berry, the delight in Jae’s face a treat to see.
“The first one should be yours.” Turning, the ebony haired singer stopped as Yunho’s arm captured him from behind, the other’s crook tight up against his chest and over his shoulder. “I was going to get another one.”
“This one…first.” Yunho sucked on the strawberry, moistening its deep red meat, not cutting into the berry with his teeth. Sucking hard on its tip, he slid the fruit over Jaejoong’s slightly parted lips, bending his head down to nibble along Jae’s jaw. “Bite.”
Jaejoong bit into the fruit carefully, its semi-sweet juices spurting out of the delectable meat. He could taste his lover’s mouth on the berry, a tantalizing, erotic accent that buried into his heart. Sucking on the strawberry meat, Jae let his eyes hood, drawing his gaze to the side. Yunho’s cheek brushed his nape as the other turned Jaejoong around, slowly leading him until Yunho’s mouth teased at the droplets of juices trembling along the ridge of his full upper lip. Jaejoong leaned into the caress, letting Yunho lave off the last remnants of the strawberry from his mouth, his breathing shallow with desire.
“There’s dinner in there, I hope.” Yunho encircled Jaejoong’s waist, cupping the singer to his body. He could stay like that forever, the warmth of his lover on him and the scent of Jaejoong in his lungs. Yunho reluctantly nodded towards the food trays, one of the domes steamed with hot condensation. “You have to eat. Come along.”
Later, Jaejoong couldn’t have said what they’d eaten, the food flavoured by small bites of Yunho’s mouth on his. He remembered another taste of hearty strawberries, shared nibbles passed from his lips onto Yunho’s tongue. Behind them, soft R&B music played, a rolling river of sound coursing over his senses. The skyline dimmed as the night passed, lights doused as Seoul slowly sank into slumber, homes tucking into sleep below the two lovers’ watchful gaze.
The music shifted, deepening into a soulful crooning of love. Belly full, Jae leaned back on the sofa’s arm, a lean sated cat stretching out and working the kinks from his legs and shoulder. Standing, Yunho took Jae’s hands into his, pulling his lover up onto his feet. Curious, Jaejoong was silent as Yunho led him around the table and in front of the glass wall, the city still glittering behind them.
Fog rolled in tight, massive streams of mist rising from the cooling night’s breath, filling in the edges of the valley below. In an hour, Seoul would be lost to the low-spilling clouds but for now, it reached out to their private haven on the hill, an ambient illumination reflected on the fog’s lower mists. Yunho’s fingers steepled through Jaejoong’s, a slow weave of bone and flesh working a symphony of sensations on the sensitive flat of Jae’s palm. Shivering, the singer felt a wave of goose bumps ripple on his shoulders, the thin shirt and hoodie offering little warmth for the chilled erotic tingle stringing along his bones.
“Take this off.” Yunho tugged at the shoulders of the hoodie, sliding the garment down his lover’s arms, Jae’s biceps bunching from the effort. “I want to be the one holding you, not the memory of me held in this.”
Jaejoong leaned into Yunho’s chest, working his shoulders against the other’s while the sweat jacket was pulled from his torso. It pooled down to the floor, kicked aside by Yunho’s foot, freeing the space around them for what Yunho had in mind.
“Ah…” Jaejoong’s hands opened, accepting Yunho’s fingers as the leader wove his arms down into Jae’s, pressed together belly to belly, their grasp on one another’s hands tight. Their clenched fists hung down at their waists, tied solely by the tangle of fingers and shared breath, their cheeks touching, mouths misting unspoken words into their souls. Standing there, silent against one another, the lovers let the night fill them, stretching out their consciousnesses until only the other existed.
A rough, whiskey of a voice echoed a low lying bass into the room, immediately familiar to the singer’s heart.. Yunho began a sway of their lightly joined bodies, stepping into a slow dance, the barest of movements of their feet through the thick pile of carpet. Yunho’s lead left whorls in the plush, filled by Jae’s bare feet behind him. Sliding his face down, Jae rested his cheekbone against the rise of Yunho’s chest, finding the beat of the music in his lover’s heartbeat.
Louis Armstrong began singing of bright blessed days and dark sacred nights, Jae finally succumbing to the American’s liquid voice, hearing his world in the man’s soulful crooning. The dark, whiskey tones of the song were unknown to the leader, but the sensual flow of music touched something deep inside of him. Stepping forward, keeping his hands in Jae’s, Yunho turned his lover around the carpeted floor, rocking him gently through the room, their bodies entwined in a languid fluid movement. Jaejoong’s long shuddering sigh released the last of the tension in his soul, finally surrendering to the other man’s firm embrace. Yunho rested his jaw against the crown of his lover’s head, the soft black silk of Jae’s hair a delectable blend of Djarum cigarette smoke, winter air and vanilla.
“There’s no one else I want in my life, you know.” Jaejoong’s words were nearly lost under the music, a whispered confession of love choked around pent-up emotion. “I’ve been… seduced by others… wanted a few but when the time came, there was something inside of me that said to wait…because none of those men were you.”
“You don’t need to tell me this, Boo.” Yunho tasted the night on his lover’s skin, grazing a fawning kiss on Jae’s forehead. “From now on, I know there won’t be anyone in your heart but me.”
“I need to… tell you…share me.” Jaejoong tilted his face up, staring into his lover’s eyes. “When I lived in Itaewon, I spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be in love… but there were a lot of times when I just wanted to feel someone against me. I wanted someone to hold me when things got so rough I wanted to give up.”
“I spent nights trying not to cry because I was so cold inside.” Jae continued, hoping to finish what his heart burgeoned to reveal. “I thought I wasn’t going to survive it and I just wanted to find some sort of warmth. I was so driven to become a singer that I forgot the dreams I had to have someone love me… because I thought it wouldn’t happen…not to someone like me.”
“I felt every time one of those men touched me, I was selling a piece of me off, breaking off parts of my heart and giving it away so it could be sucked dry.” Jae’s voice broke, Yunho’s grip tightening on his lover’s hands, the other wanting to wipe away the pain in Jaejoong’s soul. “Then you came into my life and I swear, every shard of heart glass I’d thrown away came rushing back to pierce me, bleeding me out when I thought I couldn’t even feel anymore.”
“I just need you…and want you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you for … filling in the empty spaces I carved out so I wouldn’t feel hurt anymore.” Breathless, Jae’s lashes stung with unshed tears, pain he thought he’d shed long ago. “But you’ve made me feel again, Yunnie. My dear Yunnie-ah.”
“I’ve been to Trance.” Yunho admitted, his heart breaking at the desolation in his beloved’s voice. “I saw the… I saw what those other boys were doing to make a living. I don’t want to think of that kind of life for you. It kills me.”
“I never… let any of the men there get more than a touch.” Jae dropped his eyes, wanting his lover to believe him. Yunho sighed, knowing the singer merely wanted absolution for any imagined sin of being desirable in a smoky room filled with lustful men. Jae would have appeared to be an easy mark, the feral innocence of the singer’s graceful body and exotic face nearly feminine in their beauty. “Just so you know… you really are the first. The first one…”
“I know that, BooJae.” Yunho reassured his lover, unhooking his hands from Jae’s, sliding his arms about the other man’s waist. The dance stilled, their movements lost in confessionals and desire. “I know your body. I’ve felt it open for me. I know that no one’s ever touched you like I have and that does things to me… to my gut… that I can’t even explain.”
“You touch parts of me… my soul…Yunnie-ah.” Jaejoong kissed his lover, wanting Yunho deep into the back of his throat. “I want you to touch all of me. I want you to be inside of me, tonight…forever…always.”