Make a Wish
Chapter 6
Strapped into the black Audi once again, Nana looks out through the window to the scenery speeding by. She doesn’t really want to go to class, too affect by her own unsettling emotions, clashing emotions. Jay glances at her turned face. He wonders what is going through her mind as she grimaces and twists her lips. She is frowning, but she’s not angry. He can’t think of anything he possibly had said in the past ten minutes that may have upset her. He stops at a red light and watches her as she traces unknown figures on the glass. He winces. Finger streaks. She pouts and lightly bangs her head against the window. A sigh leaving her mouth fogs up the window. Before he can ask her what is wrong, the light turns green. The soft beat of the song hums with the revving engine to fill in the missing conversation. Nana thinks back to the picture text. His eyes were closed, face flushed, lips parted. He looked sexy if not for the other pair of lips between his. The other pair of closed eyes and flushed cheeks. His ex-girlfriend. Now she is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. She is a mix of three ethnicities: Chinese, Korean, and British. They met once, Nana and she. At first glance, Nana had taken her as a love rival, as an impeccable opponent, as a thorn in her self-esteem. She has big expressive eyes, a full rosy pout, high cheek bones, everything in a well-mixed mixed baby. Nana groans in defeat. Why can’t she be pretty like that?
“What’s wrong?” Jay can’t contain his curiosity and worry. Without taking his eyes off the road, he asks, “Are you sick?”
“I’m twenty-one,” Nana states. She hears his question, but she doesn’t want to answer it, because answering means explaining, and right now, she doesn’t want to hear her say the words she’s thinking.
“What?” This time, Jay shoots Nana a quick puzzled look. What? Just then, a car suddenly brakes in front of them causing Jay to almost bump into it.
“Keep your eyes on the road. I don’t want to die yet!” Nana lurches forward to be pulled back by her seatbelt, her eyes wide with shock.
“Sorry,” again, Jay casts a look at Nana, this time, a surveying looks to check if she’s hurt by the sudden stop.
“I told you to keep your eyes on the road,” Nana bites her lips for her rudeness. She feels irritated and annoyed at the entire world, mainly herself though. Why can’t she just be good enough?
“Are you ok?” Jay tries again tentatively. He probably should stop asking because the coldness in her eyes tells him she does not want to answer.
“Sorry.” They both drop the conversation to resume listening to the drone of the engine slightly overpowering the soft music.
After a few minutes, Jay opens his mouth again. If she doesn’t want to talk, at least she can listen to the burden crushing his heart.
“I’m turning thirty soon. Maybe not soon yet. I have two more years. You know why I was drunk that night?” Nana peaks at him curiously. He sees the look and is encouraged to continue. “I found that my company is going bankrupt. Before you dismiss this because this does happen often, you need to know, I have many mouths to feed. When I saw the notice of bankruptcy, I honestly wanted to punch the daylights out of myself. I promised them I will help them lead a, not a perfect life, but one that’s satisfactory, where they don’t have to worry about where is their next meal. It’s my responsibility, and I have failed. Isn’t it pathetic? A man nearing thirties and can’t even keep a promise.”
After his ramble, Nana has only one question, “How many kids do you have?” She schools her features to remain neutral, but the slight burrow between her brows gave away her judging thoughts. She is shocked to hear he’s already twenty-eight, because he looks not a day over perhaps twenty-three. Hell, she believes him to be her age, a boy currently attending university.
“Kids? Oh no. I don’t mean it like that. I don’t have any kids. The mouths I referred to are my workers. You see, I established my company as a charity. They say, give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, but give him a fishing rod, and he’ll never be hungry. I hire mostly the unemployed with a family to feed, and especially those who have either a blank resume or a not so appealing one,” Jay clarifies. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, “And I pretty much messed it up.”
Nana stares at his scrunched up face, his gritting teeth, and all she thinks is how sexy he looks when he’s mad. Something is seriously wrong with me.
“I’m sure it’ll work out somehow,” a generic answer should be acceptable when one is lost for words.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jay agrees, but from his taunt lips, Nana knows he sees a dead end. Although they barely know each other, but an overnight stay elevated their status from strangers to acquaintances, and along with Nana’s nagging nature, she asks if he has tried solving the issue.
“Of course I know nothing of the work behind all this, but surely there must be something you can do to reverse whatever it is you have done,” her inquisitive eyes match her downturned mouth.
“It’s all monetary,” he whispers. Suddenly, he is extremely obedient. His eyes stare straight up ahead, never straying from the road, as another stretch of silence follows. He can’t answer her question honestly because he hasn’t tried everything. He has tried to go about the problem from all sides except one. The last resort he refuses to think about because he is stronger than this. He is capable. He proved himself capable the day he rejected the position from his family, and he is not about to take away his capability from himself. He cannot.
“I really thought I could do it,” he adds.
He doesn’t see the empathetic look Nana gives him nor the understanding underlying the look. Nana draws out her words slowly, “Sometimes, you don’t have to do it all alone.”
Jay mulls over her words, suspicious yet strangely moved that she can detect the sentiments behind his words. Is this what it feels like to have chemistry? His face twitches, amused at his own thought; to be so hopelessly romantic is just like him, with a girl he’s known for two nights and a half a day nevertheless. He lets Nana’s words hang over them as he continues to drive. He admires the clear sky after consecutive nights of storms, the crispness of the air, and how the sun shines slightly brighter. He runs a hand through his hair, and an uncontained laughter bubbles out of his mouth.
“What’s so funny?” Nana turns away from the outside scenery to watch the still chuckling man, his eyes crinkled, a dimpled formed at the right corner of his mouth.
“All of this, don’t you think? I don’t even know your name, and here I am, telling you about the most stressful thing that’s been sitting on my chest for months,” he glances at her.
“You’re right, is this even real life?” She laughs and dismisses the tug she feels in her heart at his lingering smile.
Neither of them realizes that Jay has slowed to a stop in front of the school campus as they continue to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Nana, who never stayed over at a man’s place (including her boyfriend), spent two nights with a complete stranger. Nana, who always abide the rules of stranger danger, voluntarily let a stranger drag her to his place and now willingly sits in his car. As the laughter trails off, Nana almost forgets she has to get out of the car. The campus is near empty on a lazy Sunday, minus a few strolling students finding the best study spots on the lawn or wishing to snag a quiet corner in the student learning center. Despite the constant awkward silences and unwarranted awkward laughter, she feels a connection with him. She hesitates to question the type of connection because, again, she has a boyfriend after all. Perhaps she is tiptoeing a thin line, better yet, an undulating line that waxes and wanes with her own emotions; but she has her own morals, and she knows she hasn’t crossed any unforgivable boundary.
“Well, thanks for the ride. I hope things work out for you,” Nana reaches for the door handle before Jay sputters out a request for her phone number.
“We might as well be friends now,” he explains. The logic is sound.
Strapped into the black Audi once again, Nana looks out through the window to the scenery speeding by. She doesn’t really want to go to class, too affect by her own unsettling emotions, clashing emotions. Jay glances at her turned face. He wonders what is going through her mind as she grimaces and twists her lips. She is frowning, but she’s not angry. He can’t think of anything he possibly had said in the past ten minutes that may have upset her. He stops at a red light and watches her as she traces unknown figures on the glass. He winces. Finger streaks. She pouts and lightly bangs her head against the window. A sigh leaving her mouth fogs up the window. Before he can ask her what is wrong, the light turns green. The soft beat of the song hums with the revving engine to fill in the missing conversation. Nana thinks back to the picture text. His eyes were closed, face flushed, lips parted. He looked sexy if not for the other pair of lips between his. The other pair of closed eyes and flushed cheeks. His ex-girlfriend. Now she is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. She is a mix of three ethnicities: Chinese, Korean, and British. They met once, Nana and she. At first glance, Nana had taken her as a love rival, as an impeccable opponent, as a thorn in her self-esteem. She has big expressive eyes, a full rosy pout, high cheek bones, everything in a well-mixed mixed baby. Nana groans in defeat. Why can’t she be pretty like that?
“What’s wrong?” Jay can’t contain his curiosity and worry. Without taking his eyes off the road, he asks, “Are you sick?”
“I’m twenty-one,” Nana states. She hears his question, but she doesn’t want to answer it, because answering means explaining, and right now, she doesn’t want to hear her say the words she’s thinking.
“What?” This time, Jay shoots Nana a quick puzzled look. What? Just then, a car suddenly brakes in front of them causing Jay to almost bump into it.
“Keep your eyes on the road. I don’t want to die yet!” Nana lurches forward to be pulled back by her seatbelt, her eyes wide with shock.
“Sorry,” again, Jay casts a look at Nana, this time, a surveying looks to check if she’s hurt by the sudden stop.
“I told you to keep your eyes on the road,” Nana bites her lips for her rudeness. She feels irritated and annoyed at the entire world, mainly herself though. Why can’t she just be good enough?
“Are you ok?” Jay tries again tentatively. He probably should stop asking because the coldness in her eyes tells him she does not want to answer.
“Sorry.” They both drop the conversation to resume listening to the drone of the engine slightly overpowering the soft music.
After a few minutes, Jay opens his mouth again. If she doesn’t want to talk, at least she can listen to the burden crushing his heart.
“I’m turning thirty soon. Maybe not soon yet. I have two more years. You know why I was drunk that night?” Nana peaks at him curiously. He sees the look and is encouraged to continue. “I found that my company is going bankrupt. Before you dismiss this because this does happen often, you need to know, I have many mouths to feed. When I saw the notice of bankruptcy, I honestly wanted to punch the daylights out of myself. I promised them I will help them lead a, not a perfect life, but one that’s satisfactory, where they don’t have to worry about where is their next meal. It’s my responsibility, and I have failed. Isn’t it pathetic? A man nearing thirties and can’t even keep a promise.”
After his ramble, Nana has only one question, “How many kids do you have?” She schools her features to remain neutral, but the slight burrow between her brows gave away her judging thoughts. She is shocked to hear he’s already twenty-eight, because he looks not a day over perhaps twenty-three. Hell, she believes him to be her age, a boy currently attending university.
“Kids? Oh no. I don’t mean it like that. I don’t have any kids. The mouths I referred to are my workers. You see, I established my company as a charity. They say, give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, but give him a fishing rod, and he’ll never be hungry. I hire mostly the unemployed with a family to feed, and especially those who have either a blank resume or a not so appealing one,” Jay clarifies. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, “And I pretty much messed it up.”
Nana stares at his scrunched up face, his gritting teeth, and all she thinks is how sexy he looks when he’s mad. Something is seriously wrong with me.
“I’m sure it’ll work out somehow,” a generic answer should be acceptable when one is lost for words.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jay agrees, but from his taunt lips, Nana knows he sees a dead end. Although they barely know each other, but an overnight stay elevated their status from strangers to acquaintances, and along with Nana’s nagging nature, she asks if he has tried solving the issue.
“Of course I know nothing of the work behind all this, but surely there must be something you can do to reverse whatever it is you have done,” her inquisitive eyes match her downturned mouth.
“It’s all monetary,” he whispers. Suddenly, he is extremely obedient. His eyes stare straight up ahead, never straying from the road, as another stretch of silence follows. He can’t answer her question honestly because he hasn’t tried everything. He has tried to go about the problem from all sides except one. The last resort he refuses to think about because he is stronger than this. He is capable. He proved himself capable the day he rejected the position from his family, and he is not about to take away his capability from himself. He cannot.
“I really thought I could do it,” he adds.
He doesn’t see the empathetic look Nana gives him nor the understanding underlying the look. Nana draws out her words slowly, “Sometimes, you don’t have to do it all alone.”
Jay mulls over her words, suspicious yet strangely moved that she can detect the sentiments behind his words. Is this what it feels like to have chemistry? His face twitches, amused at his own thought; to be so hopelessly romantic is just like him, with a girl he’s known for two nights and a half a day nevertheless. He lets Nana’s words hang over them as he continues to drive. He admires the clear sky after consecutive nights of storms, the crispness of the air, and how the sun shines slightly brighter. He runs a hand through his hair, and an uncontained laughter bubbles out of his mouth.
“What’s so funny?” Nana turns away from the outside scenery to watch the still chuckling man, his eyes crinkled, a dimpled formed at the right corner of his mouth.
“All of this, don’t you think? I don’t even know your name, and here I am, telling you about the most stressful thing that’s been sitting on my chest for months,” he glances at her.
“You’re right, is this even real life?” She laughs and dismisses the tug she feels in her heart at his lingering smile.
Neither of them realizes that Jay has slowed to a stop in front of the school campus as they continue to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Nana, who never stayed over at a man’s place (including her boyfriend), spent two nights with a complete stranger. Nana, who always abide the rules of stranger danger, voluntarily let a stranger drag her to his place and now willingly sits in his car. As the laughter trails off, Nana almost forgets she has to get out of the car. The campus is near empty on a lazy Sunday, minus a few strolling students finding the best study spots on the lawn or wishing to snag a quiet corner in the student learning center. Despite the constant awkward silences and unwarranted awkward laughter, she feels a connection with him. She hesitates to question the type of connection because, again, she has a boyfriend after all. Perhaps she is tiptoeing a thin line, better yet, an undulating line that waxes and wanes with her own emotions; but she has her own morals, and she knows she hasn’t crossed any unforgivable boundary.
“Well, thanks for the ride. I hope things work out for you,” Nana reaches for the door handle before Jay sputters out a request for her phone number.
“We might as well be friends now,” he explains. The logic is sound.