A Short Journey
Title: A Short Journey
Subject: KangTeuk
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Mild Yaoi
Summary: Kangin needs to move away for Super Junior's good and for Leeteuk's happiness.
Status: Oneshot. Complete
It was a very beautiful night. Kangin looked up at the sky and saw that it was starting to get cloudy. It will probably rain so he hastened his steps but he skidded to a stop when he realized where his feet brought him. It was Super Junior’s dorm. Kangin’s eyes widened; he immediately hid behind a large tree as he saw two familiar faces walking out.
His eyes instantly got filled with sadness as he stared at the two oldest members standing not that far from him but enough for them to not notice his presence. He wanted to shout and call their attention. He wanted to ask how they were doing, if they’ve been happy while he’s away. He wanted to approach them and hug them, crush them with his big and soft arms. However, his feet stood still on the ground. Kangin knew it is not possible. It is inappropriate. He promised everyone that he would not show up until he completely fixes himself even if it means he will not see his co-members for a long period of time. He intends to keep that promise because he knows it will bring good to Super Junior’s image. He will do anything for Super Junior.
“Hey, Teukie, did you see my phone?” He suddenly heard Heechul ask.
The leader, who was busy looking for something in his backpack, looked up. “I don’t know. Are you sure it’s not in your pocket?”
Heechul shook his head. “I think I left it in my room.”
“Can’t you leave without it? We’re really needed in the agency as soon as possible.”
“I don’t want to leave my phone. How about you go and get it for me?”
Leeteuk zipped his bag close then faced Heechul. “No. You left it so you get it.”
“Oh, come on! It won’t take long. I’ll wait for you here. Uh… please?” Heechul insisted.
Teuk hissed. “Fine. Hold this.” He threw his bag to Heechul. The latter was quick to catch it then put it on his right shoulder. Kangin watched as Leeteuk went back in the building. He sighed when the man he adores most disappeared from his sight.
“You can come out now.”
Heechul’s voice startled Kangin. Who was he talking to? Can he see him? How? Kangin didn’t move and hid further, if that was even possible. He crossed his fingers and silently hoped, prayed, wished that Heechul didn’t see him; that he was talking to someone else. But it seems that it didn’t work when he heard him again.
“Youngwoon-ah, stop making me look like a fool and come out.”
Again, Kangin ignored him. There was a long pause.
“Kim Youngwoon! Stop hiding from that damn tree and face me!”
Kangin cursed. Heechul really saw him. He couldn’t face him so he did the first thing that came in his mind. He put on his hood and ran. He heard Heechul calling him from behind but he didn’t dare look back. It’s not yet time for an emotional reunion. He ran until his knees lose their strength. He did not care about the people that he bumped to on his way. He just wants to evade that place as fast as he can.
He wasn’t sure how long it took him to reach the small apartment he’s staying in. He went to his room and slumped on the bed. He didn’t bother to go and take a shower or eat his dinner. He was exhausted from all that running. He removed his jacket, revealing the white beater he was wearing underneath, and let himself sleep for the rest of the night.
-----
‘Oh baby say goodbye, for a short while goodbye.
The talk about goodbye, I'll put it aside for a short while.’
Kangin’s phone alarm woke him up. He was planning to go back to sleep but he remembered that he have a lot of things to do. He sat up, stretched his arms and yawn. He lazily went to his bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He didn’t know how many times he dropped his toothbrush. He is not a morning person so he tends to be really clumsy. After that, he proceeded to the kitchen and looked for something to eat. He checked the cupboards and found a couple of instant ramen. He was starving and he doubt that those will satisfy his hunger. Anyway, he pulled them out and cooked them.
Few minutes more, the ramen was done. He transferred it on the low table and let it cool for a while. Kangin picked up the chopsticks and started to eat.
“Ramen for breakfast, eh? Learn how to lock your door, Kangin.”
Kangin turned to the voice and saw that he has an unexpected visitor. He placed the chopsticks back on the table and stood up. He stared at the older guy who has an angry look on his face.
“What are you doing here? How did you get here?” Kangin asked.
“I want to talk to you. You should’ve have done better than running away from me, Youngwoon. I was here last night. You should be thankful that Jungsoo called me so I cancelled my plans.” Heechul remarked.
“You’re not supposed to be here.” He said softly.
“I don’t understand you. You’re pushing us away and you keep on hiding like a criminal.”
Kangin froze then hung his head low. “I-I’m a criminal. Isn’t that what I am?”
Heechul realized what he just said. He wanted to take it back but the impact already struck Kangin. He mentally slapped himself for adding to Kangin’s worries. “No, I didn’t mean it that-“
“I want to stay away because I don’t want you to be friends with a criminal. People will criticize you if I depend on you. You can’t continue protecting me, hyung, because it really was my fault. No matter what you say, it will not change the fact that I’m a bad person, a person who ruined Super Junior.” Kangin stated.
“Why do you care so much about what they say?!” Heechul yelled. He was furious that Kangin was being stupid and vulnerable.
“Because I want to protect Leeteuk-hyung!” Kangin retorted. “I hate it when I see him constantly spacing out. I hate it that he still accepts me when he should be mad. I hate it that he smiles at me, pretending to be strong, like everything is alright. I know better, hyung. Every night, I hear him crying in his room, blaming himself for everything that had happened.”
“I promised him that I will help him take care of Super Junior. I broke it, hyung. I’m the one who damaged that name. I can’t forgive myself for that. I had to do something. That’s why I thought if I leave then his burden will lessen. It’s the least that I can do for him.” He continued.
“Then you should come with me and go back! Have you ever thought that maybe leaving isn’t the only way? You could’ve just stayed and supported him at that crucial point because that’s what he needed the most. He needs his friends to be there with him. But what happened? Leeteuk felt worse! He thought he was unwanted. He thought that he wasn’t doing the right thing because his members are slowly separating. Now, he stays up late or sleeps in the living room because he is scared that one of us will leave while he is resting.” Heechul argued.
“I-I didn’t know.”
Heechul scoffed. “That’s right. You didn’t know because you weren’t there.”
“I’m begging you, hyung. Don’t make this even harder. Just go back home and take care of Leeteuk-hyung for me.” Kangin begged. He didn’t want to hear those things. Instead, he wanted to hear that Leeteuk is happy, that he is fine and doing well because that’s why he left in the first place. He only cared about Leeteuk’s happiness.
“Why can’t you be the one to do that, Youngwoon?”
Kangin closed his eyes in depression. Having an argument with Heechul is really not in his vocabulary because it takes quite long to get it over with. “I already told you. You know it’s not that easy, hyung.”
“To hell with that! I’ve known you for eight long years and I never thought I’ll see you this weak! You’re one big coward, Youngwoon. You created a mess, disappointed everyone around you, then you’ll just run away and leave everything in our hands to clean up?!” Heechul raised his voice further but Kangin could see that he was restraining himself to go beyond the line.
“Stop this, hyung. I’m tired.”
“Aren’t we all? I’m not going to stop until you accept the fact that what you are doing right now isn’t going to make things better!”
“Please… hyung.”
Heechul was taken aback by what Kangin did. The latter was kneeling in front of him; his head hung low and his hands on the floor. He didn’t know how to react. It was the first time in his entire life that he had seen Kim Youngwoon begging on his knees. Heechul’s face immediately softened at the sight.
“I-I’m begging you, hyung. I know you can take care of him. I don’t deserve him; at least not now. I want to be a better person. When I can convince myself that Super Junior, especially Leeteuk-hyung, will be safe with me, that’s when I will come back.”
Before Heechul could respond, a loud thud caught their attention. They turned to the door in unison and were stunned to see Leeteuk, wearing his favorite large white jacket. None of them spoke as the eldest walked towards Kangin and helped him up.
Leeteuk brushed Kangin’s pants with his hands to remove the dirt.
“Have you been eating well, Youngwoon-ah?”
Kangin felt his heart skip a beat as he heard the leader’s voice. It sounded so sweet and full of concern. He locked his gaze on the man in front of him. He then noticed that Leeteuk’s eyes were red and swollen. He had been crying; Kangin was sure. Out of instinct, he pulled him into a hug and gently caressed his back. Leeteuk couldn’t hold in his tears and sobbed softly on his chest.
They were in that position for a long time until Kangin decided to let go. He was afraid that if he didn’t, he would be forced to go back to where he can see Leeteuk every time of the day. He can’t allow that since he still has a promise to fulfill.
“Hyung…”
Leeteuk smiled weakly. “I’ll be ok. Do what you have to do.”
“Promise me, hyung, that you’ll be happy.”
The man barely nodded. “I will.”
They stared at each other, memorizing each other’s faces before they turn away and go back to their own worlds. Kangin was worried that Leeteuk won’t live up to his promise and cry as soon as they part their ways.
Leeteuk gave him one last hug; his arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried in his shoulder. He was clinging onto him like he’s the most important thing in the universe. Kangin’s worries quickly faded as the older guy whispered something in his ears.
“I’ll wait.”
Without another word, Leeteuk pulled away and dragged Heechul out with him.
Kangin remained looking at the door although it’s already been a minute since the two exited his place. He sighed.
A single tear rolled down his cheek as he uttered the words he wasn’t able to say.
“I miss you.”
FIN
I've completed another one! I was supposed to do something else but I ended up writing a story. I really like the song 'A Short Journey' so it inspired me to write this. I was listening to it the whole time I was writing. :D
Subject: KangTeuk
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Mild Yaoi
Summary: Kangin needs to move away for Super Junior's good and for Leeteuk's happiness.
Status: Oneshot. Complete
It was a very beautiful night. Kangin looked up at the sky and saw that it was starting to get cloudy. It will probably rain so he hastened his steps but he skidded to a stop when he realized where his feet brought him. It was Super Junior’s dorm. Kangin’s eyes widened; he immediately hid behind a large tree as he saw two familiar faces walking out.
His eyes instantly got filled with sadness as he stared at the two oldest members standing not that far from him but enough for them to not notice his presence. He wanted to shout and call their attention. He wanted to ask how they were doing, if they’ve been happy while he’s away. He wanted to approach them and hug them, crush them with his big and soft arms. However, his feet stood still on the ground. Kangin knew it is not possible. It is inappropriate. He promised everyone that he would not show up until he completely fixes himself even if it means he will not see his co-members for a long period of time. He intends to keep that promise because he knows it will bring good to Super Junior’s image. He will do anything for Super Junior.
“Hey, Teukie, did you see my phone?” He suddenly heard Heechul ask.
The leader, who was busy looking for something in his backpack, looked up. “I don’t know. Are you sure it’s not in your pocket?”
Heechul shook his head. “I think I left it in my room.”
“Can’t you leave without it? We’re really needed in the agency as soon as possible.”
“I don’t want to leave my phone. How about you go and get it for me?”
Leeteuk zipped his bag close then faced Heechul. “No. You left it so you get it.”
“Oh, come on! It won’t take long. I’ll wait for you here. Uh… please?” Heechul insisted.
Teuk hissed. “Fine. Hold this.” He threw his bag to Heechul. The latter was quick to catch it then put it on his right shoulder. Kangin watched as Leeteuk went back in the building. He sighed when the man he adores most disappeared from his sight.
“You can come out now.”
Heechul’s voice startled Kangin. Who was he talking to? Can he see him? How? Kangin didn’t move and hid further, if that was even possible. He crossed his fingers and silently hoped, prayed, wished that Heechul didn’t see him; that he was talking to someone else. But it seems that it didn’t work when he heard him again.
“Youngwoon-ah, stop making me look like a fool and come out.”
Again, Kangin ignored him. There was a long pause.
“Kim Youngwoon! Stop hiding from that damn tree and face me!”
Kangin cursed. Heechul really saw him. He couldn’t face him so he did the first thing that came in his mind. He put on his hood and ran. He heard Heechul calling him from behind but he didn’t dare look back. It’s not yet time for an emotional reunion. He ran until his knees lose their strength. He did not care about the people that he bumped to on his way. He just wants to evade that place as fast as he can.
He wasn’t sure how long it took him to reach the small apartment he’s staying in. He went to his room and slumped on the bed. He didn’t bother to go and take a shower or eat his dinner. He was exhausted from all that running. He removed his jacket, revealing the white beater he was wearing underneath, and let himself sleep for the rest of the night.
-----
‘Oh baby say goodbye, for a short while goodbye.
The talk about goodbye, I'll put it aside for a short while.’
Kangin’s phone alarm woke him up. He was planning to go back to sleep but he remembered that he have a lot of things to do. He sat up, stretched his arms and yawn. He lazily went to his bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He didn’t know how many times he dropped his toothbrush. He is not a morning person so he tends to be really clumsy. After that, he proceeded to the kitchen and looked for something to eat. He checked the cupboards and found a couple of instant ramen. He was starving and he doubt that those will satisfy his hunger. Anyway, he pulled them out and cooked them.
Few minutes more, the ramen was done. He transferred it on the low table and let it cool for a while. Kangin picked up the chopsticks and started to eat.
“Ramen for breakfast, eh? Learn how to lock your door, Kangin.”
Kangin turned to the voice and saw that he has an unexpected visitor. He placed the chopsticks back on the table and stood up. He stared at the older guy who has an angry look on his face.
“What are you doing here? How did you get here?” Kangin asked.
“I want to talk to you. You should’ve have done better than running away from me, Youngwoon. I was here last night. You should be thankful that Jungsoo called me so I cancelled my plans.” Heechul remarked.
“You’re not supposed to be here.” He said softly.
“I don’t understand you. You’re pushing us away and you keep on hiding like a criminal.”
Kangin froze then hung his head low. “I-I’m a criminal. Isn’t that what I am?”
Heechul realized what he just said. He wanted to take it back but the impact already struck Kangin. He mentally slapped himself for adding to Kangin’s worries. “No, I didn’t mean it that-“
“I want to stay away because I don’t want you to be friends with a criminal. People will criticize you if I depend on you. You can’t continue protecting me, hyung, because it really was my fault. No matter what you say, it will not change the fact that I’m a bad person, a person who ruined Super Junior.” Kangin stated.
“Why do you care so much about what they say?!” Heechul yelled. He was furious that Kangin was being stupid and vulnerable.
“Because I want to protect Leeteuk-hyung!” Kangin retorted. “I hate it when I see him constantly spacing out. I hate it that he still accepts me when he should be mad. I hate it that he smiles at me, pretending to be strong, like everything is alright. I know better, hyung. Every night, I hear him crying in his room, blaming himself for everything that had happened.”
“I promised him that I will help him take care of Super Junior. I broke it, hyung. I’m the one who damaged that name. I can’t forgive myself for that. I had to do something. That’s why I thought if I leave then his burden will lessen. It’s the least that I can do for him.” He continued.
“Then you should come with me and go back! Have you ever thought that maybe leaving isn’t the only way? You could’ve just stayed and supported him at that crucial point because that’s what he needed the most. He needs his friends to be there with him. But what happened? Leeteuk felt worse! He thought he was unwanted. He thought that he wasn’t doing the right thing because his members are slowly separating. Now, he stays up late or sleeps in the living room because he is scared that one of us will leave while he is resting.” Heechul argued.
“I-I didn’t know.”
Heechul scoffed. “That’s right. You didn’t know because you weren’t there.”
“I’m begging you, hyung. Don’t make this even harder. Just go back home and take care of Leeteuk-hyung for me.” Kangin begged. He didn’t want to hear those things. Instead, he wanted to hear that Leeteuk is happy, that he is fine and doing well because that’s why he left in the first place. He only cared about Leeteuk’s happiness.
“Why can’t you be the one to do that, Youngwoon?”
Kangin closed his eyes in depression. Having an argument with Heechul is really not in his vocabulary because it takes quite long to get it over with. “I already told you. You know it’s not that easy, hyung.”
“To hell with that! I’ve known you for eight long years and I never thought I’ll see you this weak! You’re one big coward, Youngwoon. You created a mess, disappointed everyone around you, then you’ll just run away and leave everything in our hands to clean up?!” Heechul raised his voice further but Kangin could see that he was restraining himself to go beyond the line.
“Stop this, hyung. I’m tired.”
“Aren’t we all? I’m not going to stop until you accept the fact that what you are doing right now isn’t going to make things better!”
“Please… hyung.”
Heechul was taken aback by what Kangin did. The latter was kneeling in front of him; his head hung low and his hands on the floor. He didn’t know how to react. It was the first time in his entire life that he had seen Kim Youngwoon begging on his knees. Heechul’s face immediately softened at the sight.
“I-I’m begging you, hyung. I know you can take care of him. I don’t deserve him; at least not now. I want to be a better person. When I can convince myself that Super Junior, especially Leeteuk-hyung, will be safe with me, that’s when I will come back.”
Before Heechul could respond, a loud thud caught their attention. They turned to the door in unison and were stunned to see Leeteuk, wearing his favorite large white jacket. None of them spoke as the eldest walked towards Kangin and helped him up.
Leeteuk brushed Kangin’s pants with his hands to remove the dirt.
“Have you been eating well, Youngwoon-ah?”
Kangin felt his heart skip a beat as he heard the leader’s voice. It sounded so sweet and full of concern. He locked his gaze on the man in front of him. He then noticed that Leeteuk’s eyes were red and swollen. He had been crying; Kangin was sure. Out of instinct, he pulled him into a hug and gently caressed his back. Leeteuk couldn’t hold in his tears and sobbed softly on his chest.
They were in that position for a long time until Kangin decided to let go. He was afraid that if he didn’t, he would be forced to go back to where he can see Leeteuk every time of the day. He can’t allow that since he still has a promise to fulfill.
“Hyung…”
Leeteuk smiled weakly. “I’ll be ok. Do what you have to do.”
“Promise me, hyung, that you’ll be happy.”
The man barely nodded. “I will.”
They stared at each other, memorizing each other’s faces before they turn away and go back to their own worlds. Kangin was worried that Leeteuk won’t live up to his promise and cry as soon as they part their ways.
Leeteuk gave him one last hug; his arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried in his shoulder. He was clinging onto him like he’s the most important thing in the universe. Kangin’s worries quickly faded as the older guy whispered something in his ears.
“I’ll wait.”
Without another word, Leeteuk pulled away and dragged Heechul out with him.
Kangin remained looking at the door although it’s already been a minute since the two exited his place. He sighed.
A single tear rolled down his cheek as he uttered the words he wasn’t able to say.
“I miss you.”
FIN
I've completed another one! I was supposed to do something else but I ended up writing a story. I really like the song 'A Short Journey' so it inspired me to write this. I was listening to it the whole time I was writing. :D