Strange moments of clarity.

[jahad2k]

I'm terrified of success, only because I don't want to lose it all again. I see so many things falling into place in my life and I know things could be really good for me. I have had so many dreams and I see opportunities for them to come true, but I'm deathly afraid to let it happen because I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with the loss, if

Comments

[blackdove1978]

"I would rather destroy the bud of a flower because I'm afraid to watch it bloom and see it die."

That's the most profound thing I've read all day. I know where you're at, and I can't say there's a way out. All I know is having confidence separate from outside influences is key, then no one or nothing can break you, but you.

xo

[jahad2k]

What if it's only been me destroying my own life all along? What if it's truly not possible for me to succeed?

[blackdove1978]

"What if it's truly not possible for me to succeed?"

Weren't you the one just telling me two days ago how if you beieve you won't succeed. . . you won't?

Come now, what terrible things have you done to make your karma *that bad* to forbid you from succeeding?

That's the problem..

[jahad2k]

I've never done anything conciously to give myself bad karma, and every single person that knows me would say the same. But time and time again in my life things have fallen apart well beyond my control and it just leaves me sitting in a pile of my own shit wondering what the hell just happened. But I made it to the bank today and got a mix of good and bad news. But overall things are looking ok and I'm forcing myself to stick with it and not worry about what bad things might happen. I can't say that I'm not still terrified, but I'm forcing my way through it all.