Essay
Three thousand comic shops currently reside across the nation, and in each one, the blood of the comic book geek pulses. The subculture of the socially challenged is a often misunderstood thing, and can cause concern in those uneducated in their ways. If you lack the necessary knowledge to survive in their environment, Entering a shop can be quite disorienting, confusing, and scary. Which is why i've composed this guide as to how to get rep at your local comic book store.
First off, absolutely, under no circumstances should you bath. Ever. This general lack of bodily hygiene will win you friends in your new environment; as it shows you have an enormously large brain that is so dedicated to the cause of super heroes, story arcs, and Warhammer 40k, that everything else becomes irrelevant. Also, gamer funk is a fearsome thing indeed to behold. And if you are generating your own foul stenches, that could only be from a recently opened bottle of "BAMF!", withstanding other's funkilicious body odors will be easier than Hal Jordan re-igniting the sun. What? It can't be that hard can it?
Do you're research. This second tip is very crucial to increasing your rep at the shop. No one cares if you're there unless you know who's who among the recently un-deceased in the Marvel universe. But don't take this tip as just comic book research, go out and gain knowledge on the governmental system, the army, and world news, because sometimes conversations can take an unexpected turn for the philosophical. Oh, and make sure all the knowledge you know is one sided. When presenting your argument (the stolen idea you pass off as your own without proper research to back it up), you don't want to seem compassionate to anyone who may have opposing viewpoints. This is a comic shop, if they walked in they should have been prepared for political rants about how everyone hates Bush, but still loves the army. Semper Fi!
Be ready to spend some serious cash. Trading card addictions like flat crack, also know as Magic the Gathering, can become very expensive over time. Statues, comic books, weird rare dvds, and t-shirts, aren't free you know. So be prepared to either have a lot of money before you venture into this new domain, or go ahead and start begging now to get ahead of the Yu-Gi-Oh kids. You should probably go ahead and apply for that new Visa card you got in the mail, hell might as well go for the new Master Card too, you're gonna need that cash flow.
Ok, now you're ready. You've got your plea for "the moniez" down pat. You smell like a rotting corpse. You now can also now reference that awful decomposing smell to the newest mini-series that Marvel is putting out called "Marvel Zombies". As you walk in the door, your soon to be peers will gaze upon you with awe, as they see the very definition of who they aspire to be. And with all you're new friends to hang out with, who needs a girlfriend?