I have done very little productive this week
So, more Coded.
Agrabah get!
-"See if anyone else is in town!" ...the vendor is RIGHT THERE wow I guess this won’t be much of a quest level.
-Oh he doesn’t count? BOO. Cheaty game.
-Okay, I like the stat matrix cheat that lets you set enemies’ levels harder to up the amount of drops. It is good to set it to 4x difficulty and go to earlier worlds and get some swag for leveling. It is also good to TURN IT BACK DOWN when you go to new worlds.
-/continues game boop you didn’t see that
-Oh hi Aladdin gonna bust some blocks around you before we talk hope you don’t mind
-”I’ve got to make sure my friend from the palace is safe” Suuuuuure she has armed guards dude, you are not gonna help.
-He wants Sora to help him find Jasmine. He’ll keep looking at the palace but Sora has to check all around the city. Clearly taking advantage of this boy’s not-too-brightness.
-Found Jasmine. Jafar is proposing to her in an alley. That’s not creepy at all.
-Oh boy a boss battle already! Too easy though.
-NO NO NO PETE YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE HIM THE LAMP. DATA LAMP. WHATEVER.
-HOW DOES MAGIC EVEN WORK IN A COMPUTER WORLD?
-”Galiches?” Jafar doesn’t speak computer haha.
-Princess saved! Off to find her boy.
-...Aladdin you are not around the palace like you said you’d be. You’re at the edge of the city. Were you going to sneak off and have adventures without me? Disapproval.
-Blah blah re-kidnapping Jasmine blah
-LOL at Jafar quoting Sora. “Yes way.”
-Weird, everything is green and frozen because Jafar did something. But the Keyblade means Sora can still move...sure, why not.
-OH SHIT I SENSE A TIME TRIAL I HATE TIME TRIALS
-How the fuck can Iago still move?! He’s a parrot! Is he secretly a Keyblade wielder? I would actually like to see that.
-AHHHH FUCK I HAVE TO FIND THE DAMN BIRD AND PHANTOM JAFAR KEEPS EATING MY TIME GTFO YOU CREEPY FUCK
-Got him. That was annoying. Now Genie’s assisting. Off to the Cave of Wonders.
-Running around, dodging Indiana Jones boulders like it ain’t no thang aw yeah
-New blox intro! Those ones with the swirly designs are magnetic, apparently. I foresee much attempted dragging of Sora over unpleasant things.
-Lalala running jumping climbing trees time for a boss battle with Jafar
-ENOUGH WITH THE TIME TRIALS DON’T TIME ME WHEN I’M TRYING TO FIND THE KEYHO--oh, that only took about ten seconds. Okay. More boss time.
-What a surprise, he’s a genie and I have to smack around the lamp that Iago’s carrying. I’ve never done that before.
-Success! And now...Pete. Seriously, why does he care if a digital world is cast into darkness?
-”Pete! You’re not getting away this time!” *Pete disappears* “Or...maybe you are.” Ha.
-”Gathering data...assembling data...data recovery...30%” :|a
-Oh we’re running after Pete? Ok--OH HEY MALEFICENT I DIDN’T KNOW YOU LIKED COMPUTERS.
-Oooh a CUTSCENE of Maleficent smacking Sora around. This is beautiful.
-BITCH NO I KNOW YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING MY KEYBLADE
YOU WHOOOOOOOOORE
IT BLEW UP INTO SPARKLES
I HATE YOU
GET OUT WITCH HAG
I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT WITH THE STICK AGAIN
oh shit Heartless
-This lady hasn’t lost her touch for dramatic yelling, gotta say
-MICKEY AND RIKU JOURNAL TO THE RESCUUUUUEEEEEE
-I really enjoy the villains' mis-hearing of lines in this game."Datascape" = “Date escape” XD
-This was Pete’s idea? Why. What. Ooh, flashback time.
-Watching Pete sneak along in the corridor is hilarious. He is the opposite of stealthy but TRYING REALLY HARD.
-DO YOU NOT HAVE GUARDS IN THIS CASTLE, SERIOUSLY. WHO IS GOOFY THE CAPTAIN OF?
-Hahahaha he didn’t even plan getting sucked in. Pete you are not the coolest villain on the block.
-I don’t understand how this will help them take over worlds but w/e
-Oh it keeps Mickey and friends from interfering with evil doings? But real Sora is still out there.
-Aw shit I see where this is going. DON'T TAKE RIKU HE'S TOO PRETTY.
-Nooooo taking him back to be a minion. I wonder if corrupted data = corrupted heart?
-TIME TO BE IN HOLLOW BASTION. Stickless. Aw nuts.
-Man it’s humbling when pete has the edge on you
-OKAY. Time to go running around finding switches and hitting sparkly lights and god, guys, just get a doorbell.
-*proceeds to spend a million years trying to jump toward this switch while painful and knock-you-back blocks come flying at me fffffuuuuuu*
-Aw, I like how weaponless Sora kinda stands in a defensive position.
-Inside! DON'T TAUNT ME, ANNOYING DOG, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
-SURE WHY NOT TRAP ME IN A SMALL BOX WITH ENEMIES AND NO WEAPONS IT'S NO BIG DEAL ihu pete
-Aaaaaand in comes Goofy to protect me :|a Well if I can't have Beast, I guess he's okay.
-Time for more platforming! Not being able to break blocks or fight enemies is an added wrinkle. A little annoying but at the same time kinda interesting. This game really does keep up with giving you new ways of doing things in each world.
-DONALD GET OVER HERE DON'T WALK OFF THAT WAY--dammit, duck.
-"I dragged you guys into a real mess and I hardly even know you." ...that's kind of sad 8(
-Aw man they missed Sora so much they're really happy to go on adventures with...this fake substitute :/
-Sora: "Don't laugh, but it feels like we've done this before." Donald and Goofy: *nervous awkward chuckles* Okay not really but THEY SHOULD
-"It's kinda fun to make the same friend twice" AND HE STILL DOESN'T QUESTION THIS
-Whew, finally made it to the top. OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SEAL ME OFF FROM MY WEAPON-HAVING PALS WITH BLOCKS. YOU DID NOT.
-Okay so Pete is mocking the fact that Sora is data and they're all NO LOLOL HE TOTALLY HAS A HEART WHY ELSE WOULD HE FIGHT FOR US because you programmed him, guys...
-Pete: *tries to squish them to death with blocks* That is the proper response. Yes.
-Keyblade: *returns!* Because of Data Sora's strength of heart or something. HEART. THE DATA BOY HAS A HEART.
...
...
/FLIPS EVERY TABLE GOD DAMMIT NOMURA YOU CANNOT TREAT TECHNOLOGY LIKE THIS YOU JUST CAN'T
-At this point I raged incoherently in chat at PQ for about fifteen minutes. God dammit Nomura.
-Sora: "IT'S OKAY GUYS I'LL BEAT THIS LEVEL MYSELF." NO YOU IDIOT. YOU TAKE THE WEAPONS WITH YOU!
-TIME TO KICK PETE'S ASS. Man, I kind of forgot how to use the Keyblade after ordering those chucklefucks around for so long.
-OH FUCK IT'S RIKU IN HIS MANSKIRT I'M GONNA DIIIIIIEEEE
-Yep, corrupted data equals corrupted soul, called it.
-Ouch. Riku as Pete's minion? That's just sad.
-YOU DAMN RIGHT I GET A CUTSCENE FOR THIS
-Ew, Riku's covered in blocks. Like a really funky rash.
-The Keyhole was in Riku? :|a Dirty.
-"If the bugs have taken over Riku..." then we get some RAID.
-"I gotta go inside to look." Of Riku. DIRTY!
-"Who's to say it's even safe inside of Riku?" Hee hee hee I am 12 years old.
-Data Sora really is still so cute though :c
-"So this is Riku's datascape. It's so...empty." Make your own jokes.
-"You feel weak because the bugs are stealing your data." This is leading to Castle Oblivion isn't it.
-Riku's giving us data someone else added at a later date. Ansem? Or...idk.
-OF COURSE THERE'S STILL A MOOGLE HERE. Greedy fucks.
-Okay I am just gonna SKIP THIS WHOLE NEXT SEGMENT. It’s just going into the first four worlds and cleaning out a corrupted bug room thing in each of them and I can’t make that even as dubiously funny as the rest of this.
OKAY STOPPING HERE. Picking out Riku’s head lice takes a long time.
Agrabah get!
-"See if anyone else is in town!" ...the vendor is RIGHT THERE wow I guess this won’t be much of a quest level.
-Oh he doesn’t count? BOO. Cheaty game.
-Okay, I like the stat matrix cheat that lets you set enemies’ levels harder to up the amount of drops. It is good to set it to 4x difficulty and go to earlier worlds and get some swag for leveling. It is also good to TURN IT BACK DOWN when you go to new worlds.
-/continues game boop you didn’t see that
-Oh hi Aladdin gonna bust some blocks around you before we talk hope you don’t mind
-”I’ve got to make sure my friend from the palace is safe” Suuuuuure she has armed guards dude, you are not gonna help.
-He wants Sora to help him find Jasmine. He’ll keep looking at the palace but Sora has to check all around the city. Clearly taking advantage of this boy’s not-too-brightness.
-Found Jasmine. Jafar is proposing to her in an alley. That’s not creepy at all.
-Oh boy a boss battle already! Too easy though.
-NO NO NO PETE YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE HIM THE LAMP. DATA LAMP. WHATEVER.
-HOW DOES MAGIC EVEN WORK IN A COMPUTER WORLD?
-”Galiches?” Jafar doesn’t speak computer haha.
-Princess saved! Off to find her boy.
-...Aladdin you are not around the palace like you said you’d be. You’re at the edge of the city. Were you going to sneak off and have adventures without me? Disapproval.
-Blah blah re-kidnapping Jasmine blah
-LOL at Jafar quoting Sora. “Yes way.”
-Weird, everything is green and frozen because Jafar did something. But the Keyblade means Sora can still move...sure, why not.
-OH SHIT I SENSE A TIME TRIAL I HATE TIME TRIALS
-How the fuck can Iago still move?! He’s a parrot! Is he secretly a Keyblade wielder? I would actually like to see that.
-AHHHH FUCK I HAVE TO FIND THE DAMN BIRD AND PHANTOM JAFAR KEEPS EATING MY TIME GTFO YOU CREEPY FUCK
-Got him. That was annoying. Now Genie’s assisting. Off to the Cave of Wonders.
-Running around, dodging Indiana Jones boulders like it ain’t no thang aw yeah
-New blox intro! Those ones with the swirly designs are magnetic, apparently. I foresee much attempted dragging of Sora over unpleasant things.
-Lalala running jumping climbing trees time for a boss battle with Jafar
-ENOUGH WITH THE TIME TRIALS DON’T TIME ME WHEN I’M TRYING TO FIND THE KEYHO--oh, that only took about ten seconds. Okay. More boss time.
-What a surprise, he’s a genie and I have to smack around the lamp that Iago’s carrying. I’ve never done that before.
-Success! And now...Pete. Seriously, why does he care if a digital world is cast into darkness?
-”Pete! You’re not getting away this time!” *Pete disappears* “Or...maybe you are.” Ha.
-”Gathering data...assembling data...data recovery...30%” :|a
-Oh we’re running after Pete? Ok--OH HEY MALEFICENT I DIDN’T KNOW YOU LIKED COMPUTERS.
-Oooh a CUTSCENE of Maleficent smacking Sora around. This is beautiful.
-BITCH NO I KNOW YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING MY KEYBLADE
YOU WHOOOOOOOOORE
IT BLEW UP INTO SPARKLES
I HATE YOU
GET OUT WITCH HAG
I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT WITH THE STICK AGAIN
oh shit Heartless
-This lady hasn’t lost her touch for dramatic yelling, gotta say
-MICKEY AND RIKU JOURNAL TO THE RESCUUUUUEEEEEE
-I really enjoy the villains' mis-hearing of lines in this game."Datascape" = “Date escape” XD
-This was Pete’s idea? Why. What. Ooh, flashback time.
-Watching Pete sneak along in the corridor is hilarious. He is the opposite of stealthy but TRYING REALLY HARD.
-DO YOU NOT HAVE GUARDS IN THIS CASTLE, SERIOUSLY. WHO IS GOOFY THE CAPTAIN OF?
-Hahahaha he didn’t even plan getting sucked in. Pete you are not the coolest villain on the block.
-I don’t understand how this will help them take over worlds but w/e
-Oh it keeps Mickey and friends from interfering with evil doings? But real Sora is still out there.
-Aw shit I see where this is going. DON'T TAKE RIKU HE'S TOO PRETTY.
-Nooooo taking him back to be a minion. I wonder if corrupted data = corrupted heart?
-TIME TO BE IN HOLLOW BASTION. Stickless. Aw nuts.
-Man it’s humbling when pete has the edge on you
-OKAY. Time to go running around finding switches and hitting sparkly lights and god, guys, just get a doorbell.
-*proceeds to spend a million years trying to jump toward this switch while painful and knock-you-back blocks come flying at me fffffuuuuuu*
-Aw, I like how weaponless Sora kinda stands in a defensive position.
-Inside! DON'T TAUNT ME, ANNOYING DOG, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
-SURE WHY NOT TRAP ME IN A SMALL BOX WITH ENEMIES AND NO WEAPONS IT'S NO BIG DEAL ihu pete
-Aaaaaand in comes Goofy to protect me :|a Well if I can't have Beast, I guess he's okay.
-Time for more platforming! Not being able to break blocks or fight enemies is an added wrinkle. A little annoying but at the same time kinda interesting. This game really does keep up with giving you new ways of doing things in each world.
-DONALD GET OVER HERE DON'T WALK OFF THAT WAY--dammit, duck.
-"I dragged you guys into a real mess and I hardly even know you." ...that's kind of sad 8(
-Aw man they missed Sora so much they're really happy to go on adventures with...this fake substitute :/
-Sora: "Don't laugh, but it feels like we've done this before." Donald and Goofy: *nervous awkward chuckles* Okay not really but THEY SHOULD
-"It's kinda fun to make the same friend twice" AND HE STILL DOESN'T QUESTION THIS
-Whew, finally made it to the top. OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SEAL ME OFF FROM MY WEAPON-HAVING PALS WITH BLOCKS. YOU DID NOT.
-Okay so Pete is mocking the fact that Sora is data and they're all NO LOLOL HE TOTALLY HAS A HEART WHY ELSE WOULD HE FIGHT FOR US because you programmed him, guys...
-Pete: *tries to squish them to death with blocks* That is the proper response. Yes.
-Keyblade: *returns!* Because of Data Sora's strength of heart or something. HEART. THE DATA BOY HAS A HEART.
...
...
/FLIPS EVERY TABLE GOD DAMMIT NOMURA YOU CANNOT TREAT TECHNOLOGY LIKE THIS YOU JUST CAN'T
-At this point I raged incoherently in chat at PQ for about fifteen minutes. God dammit Nomura.
-Sora: "IT'S OKAY GUYS I'LL BEAT THIS LEVEL MYSELF." NO YOU IDIOT. YOU TAKE THE WEAPONS WITH YOU!
-TIME TO KICK PETE'S ASS. Man, I kind of forgot how to use the Keyblade after ordering those chucklefucks around for so long.
-OH FUCK IT'S RIKU IN HIS MANSKIRT I'M GONNA DIIIIIIEEEE
-Yep, corrupted data equals corrupted soul, called it.
-Ouch. Riku as Pete's minion? That's just sad.
-YOU DAMN RIGHT I GET A CUTSCENE FOR THIS
-Ew, Riku's covered in blocks. Like a really funky rash.
-The Keyhole was in Riku? :|a Dirty.
-"If the bugs have taken over Riku..." then we get some RAID.
-"I gotta go inside to look." Of Riku. DIRTY!
-"Who's to say it's even safe inside of Riku?" Hee hee hee I am 12 years old.
-Data Sora really is still so cute though :c
-"So this is Riku's datascape. It's so...empty." Make your own jokes.
-"You feel weak because the bugs are stealing your data." This is leading to Castle Oblivion isn't it.
-Riku's giving us data someone else added at a later date. Ansem? Or...idk.
-OF COURSE THERE'S STILL A MOOGLE HERE. Greedy fucks.
-Okay I am just gonna SKIP THIS WHOLE NEXT SEGMENT. It’s just going into the first four worlds and cleaning out a corrupted bug room thing in each of them and I can’t make that even as dubiously funny as the rest of this.
OKAY STOPPING HERE. Picking out Riku’s head lice takes a long time.