"Fall In Time" (7-8/8 , K/J, PG-13)
Title: Fall In Time
Timeframe: post-NJO
Characters: Kyp Durron, Jaina Solo, Han Solo
Genre: angst, romance, songfic
Warnings: Character death
Summary: Kyp helps Jaina recover from a tragedy.
Notes: Song lyrics are "Collide" by Howie Day. I don't own the characters, George Lucas does.
Previous Chapters
--Chapter Seven--
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
-- "Collide", Howie Day
It was her turn now, to watch him.
Jaina stayed by his side through the night, hold his bandaged hand in hers. Han and Jacen tried a few times to get her to leave, until Mara intervened.
Jaina knew now that Kyp had watched over her when she was injured, and she couldn't leave him now. He was here because he had wanted to save her. How ungrateful would she be if she didn't return the favour?
The monitors beeped softly in the background. He wasn't on a respirator, which was good.
Wake up, she willed him silently. Please wake up.
She rested her head on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.
Kyp woke the next morning. His healing trance had helped immensely, and most of the damage had been repaired. Jaina stayed back, not sure what to say to him. "Thank you" was grossly inadequate.
Finally, Han, Jacen, and Luke left, and Jaina found herself alone with Kyp.
"You killed him," he said.
"Well, you were bleeding to death, so I couldn't exactly wait for you to get up and do it." They'd cremated the Dashade, creeped out by the fact that the headless corpse was healing itself.
"Ah, I was fine," he said. "I was just . . . regrouping."
There was an awkward silence.
"You scared us," she said, eventually.
He quirked a half smile. "Why? It's going to take more than that to take me out."
"Boy, can the dial go up any higher on your ego?"
Kyp grinned.
"We got him," Jaina told him.
He didn't look happy about it. "Not soon enough," he said.
Jaina sat beside him, perched on the side of the bed. "You didn't fail anyone, Kyp. No one holds you responsible for Mom."
Green eyes lifted. "Not even you?"
She shook her head. "Not even me. The only one responsible was that psychotic. Not you. And you'd better not hold yourself responsible for anything he did. You didn't make him do anything."
A wealth of tension flowed out of him and he sank into the pillow.
"I'll let you rest," she said. "I hear you're being released tomorow. Would you like me to pick you up?"
His expression was unreadable. "If you want to."
She returned to Kyp's apartment that night, and as she sat in the middle of his bed, she knew this was the last night she would spend here. The danger was over, Kyp would be home.
She commed her aunt and arranged to stay with the Skywalkers, and packed her things. Eventually, she would find a new apartment. Jaina knew it was necessary, but she felt sadness at the thought of leaving. It was safe here, comfortable.
She passed a restless night, searching deep within herself, cataloguing the changes, and in the morning, was only a little closer to an answer.
At the med centre, Jaina handed Kyp a bag with clothes in it, and his lightsaber. "Here you go. Is there anything else you need?"
"Decent food," he said, taking the worn handle. His fingers brushed hers, and for a moment, she didn't let go of the weapon.
"I think we can arrange that," she said with a smile that she hoped hid the sudden fluttering the brief touch had caused. "Get dressed so we can get you out of here."
She waited in the hallway until he told her she could come back in. He was pulling on his boots when she opened the door and tentatively re-entered. "Where do you want to eat?" she asked, focusing on watching him lace the scarred, battered footwear.
"Home," he said. "Don't feel like going anywhere."
She paused, thinking of the packing crates in the living area of his apartment. She had to tell him, prepare him. "Okay . . ."
He looked up, green eyes concerned despite his obvious fatigue. "What's wrong?"
Jaina hesitated, biting her lip. She didn't know how he was going to react. But she had to tell him at some point, and now was as good as any.
"I'm moving out," she said. "Going to stay with Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke."
Kyp slowly straightened, too tired and injured to hide the flare of pain in his eyes at her pronouncement. He'd known it was coming, but he hadn't known it would hurt this much. Worse than the claws of the Dashade, the thought of letting her walk out of his life like this cut deeper than any of the injuries he'd sustained.
"Why?" he asked softly.
"Because it's time. The danger's over, and I don't want to impose on you any more." The words felt wrong somehow.
His features tightened. "If that's the way you feel . . . I shouldn't impose on you, then. I'll get an air-taxi."
He picked up his bag and walked out the door. Jaina's mouth hung open, and she inwardly marvelled at how badly that had gone. She shook her head, and then ran after him.
"Kyp!"
He stopped, some distance down the corridor, backlit by the lights at the medic's station. He very slowly turned on one foot, using the bag for balance. She skidded to a halt a few metres away.
"I don't . . . don't meant it that way," she said haltingly. "I just . . . I can't help myself if I stay." She closed the distance. "I want to. I want desperately to stay, which is why I shouldn't."
"I don't understand."
Jaina chewed on her lip for a moment. "Because I want . . . to come back, when it's right. If I stay, now, I'll hate myself. I want more."
He set the bag down. "Let me see if I get this: you're leaving because you want to come back?"
She nodded.
"Goddess . . . that makes no sense whatsoever."
She licked her lips. "Okay . . . maybe this will help."
She stood on her toes, pulled his head down, and pressed her mouth to his.
When he pulled back, his eyes were wide. He raised his eyebrows. She gave him a timid smile.
Realisation came to him and his face lit. For a moment, he looked at her with delighted surprise, during which he processed the impossibility of the moment, Kyp crushed her against him, feeling that he could never let her go. The ache from his wounds disappeared as he kissed her.
"How long are you leaving for?"
"Not long," she laughed. "Of course, the sooner you want me back . . ."
Kyp smoothed her hair back. "Yeah, I know."
He pulled her forward and planted a kiss on her upturned mouth. "I'm going to get you back. You're mine."
"Not yet, she ain't."
Kyp held Jaina closer as Han came in. "That's what you think," he replied.
Jaina laughed and hugged Kyp. "A month," she said. "You can handle a month."
"I can't handle a day. I'm going to spend all day, every day, with you."
"You'd better."
He kissed her again. "I'm counting the days."
"Why are you taking all this stuff?" Jacen asked, sticking his head in the door. "Why not just leave in here?"
Han waved him off. "C'mon, kid, let's get this stuff hauled out of here."
Jaina leaned her head against Kyp's chest. "I could leave some of it here . . . But I kind of need my clothes."
"Leave whatever you want here, I honestly don't mind," he murmured. Kyp kissed the top of her head, then her temple. "A month . . . why a month?"
"Because I figured that's the longest you could wait before kidnapping me," she said with a smirk, pulling back to look up at him.
He lifted both eyebrows, looking speculative. "Kidnap you, huh?"
"Don't you even dare," she laughed.
Kyp ran his fingers over her face. "It had better be only a month. One day longer than that and I will kidnap you."
After Kyp reluctantly left that night, Jaina stood by the closed door for a full minute with a wistful smile on her face.
"You really love him, don't you?"
Jaina dragged herself out of her musing and turned to her aunt. She grinned. "I do. Took me long enough to realise it."
Mara handed her a mug of something warm and sweet, not caf. Some sort of cider. "I had my doubts, but I have to say, he certainly is devoted."
She led her niece into the living area of the Skywalker apartment and they sat on the sofa. Mara drew her legs up under herself and watched Jaina for a moment.
"The day . . . your mother died," she began, "we all felt the attack. Luke and I got there as quickly as we could. Kyp, obviously, was quicker. I got into the apartment before Luke did."
Jaina's hands felt cold; she clutched her mug tighter, but didn't tell Mara to stop.
"I've seen a lot of horrible things," the former assassin told her. "But I've never seen anything quite as devastating. Kyp did try to save your mother. you weren't quite as . . . bad off as Leia was. We think that Kyp's arrival interrupted your attacker, which was the only reason you were alive when Kyp got there."
Mara looked at her niece, and there were tears in her eyes. "I will never forget, ever, the sight of Kyp kneeling on the floor, literally holding you together. You know he and I have had our differences. I just . . . never realised just how much he cares for you until I saw him begging for your life."
Jaina took a sip of her cider with trembling hands. Five months had passed since that day, and the thought still haunted her.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this," Mara said.
"No, it's . . . it's all right. Kyp already told me." She looked into her mug. "I have to wonder, though . . . if Mom would have approved. Of me and Kyp."
Mara reached over and tucked a lock of Jaina's hair behind her ear. "She'd approve. You're happy, and that's what she always wanted."
Jaina smiled. "Thank you, Aunt Mara. I don't know what I would have done without you and Uncle Luke."
Mara's green eyes looked a little amused. "You would have survived. It's without Kyp you wouldn't have made it. But thank you."
"Mommy?"
The two women looked over the back of the sofa, towards the doorway. Ben, red hair tousled from sleep, one pant-leg up around his knee, was rubbing a fist against his eye.
Jaina smiled at the sight of her cousin. "C'mere, Bennie," she said.
The child came over and sat on the sofa, curling up against Jaina.
Mara set down her mug. Eyeing her niece, she asked, "Have you and Kyp started thinking about kids?"
"Er . . . no. I mean . . . we just got together . . ." Jaina knew her face was a bright red.
"You should think about it." Mara grinned. "Of course, it's the getting them that's the fun part."
"Mara!"
--Chapter Eight--
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
-- "Collide", Howie Day
"How are you feeling?"
Jaina didn't even look up from her datapad. "Fine. It's only been three minutes since the last time you asked."
Kyp perched on the edge of their bed. "So . . . nothing yet?"
"Nothing yet. You'll be the first to know, trust me."
Jaina's datapad rested against the bulk of her advanced pregnancy. It had been a surprise, a honeymoon baby. Though Jaina supposed that in an oddly poetic way, it shouldn't have been a surprise; her due date was the second anniversary of her mother's death.
Of course, that due date was also two weeks past, which was what had Kyp ready to jump for the door at any second.
The baby had been strangely quiescent today; normally, their daughter was active and kicking everything she could, but the baby was peaceful, perhaps waiting.
Kyp reached out and placed his hand on Jaina's abdomen. "I can't help but worry," he told her, as he used the Force to sense his daughter. "It scares me that this is something I can't protect you from."
Jaina turned off the datapad and placed her hand over his. "I know. But you shouldn't worry. We'll be fine, both of us."
"I still think you should have had labour induced two weeks ago," he said.
"She'll come when she's ready," Jaina said mildly. "Won't you, Kalyn?"
Kyp's brow wrinkled as a strange expression crossed his wife's face. "Jay?"
"Actually," she said breathlessly, "I think that would be now."
"It's about time!" he said, and sprang into motion.
Kalyn Leia Durron was born six hours later. Han was the proudest grandparent ever, and showed his granddaughter off to anyone who stood still long enough.
Kyp watch with amusement as he sat by Jaina's side, and wiped her sweaty brow. "You okay?"
"Tired," she said.
"You have a right to be," he laughed quietly. "She's huge!"
Jaina smiled wanly. "I'd like to see you try what I just went through."
"Don't think so. I fully admit that women are superior to men."
Nearby, Jacen laughed. "Nice save, Kyp."
Kyp pressed his lips to his wife's hand and ignored his brother-in-law. "You are so beautiful, Goddess. And so is our baby."
"You better remember that, when I make you get up in the middle of the night to change her diapers." Jaina reached up and ran a hand over his black curls, which Kalyn had inherited in abundance. "I just wish Mom was here to see her."
"I am."
Jaina looked up, and saw the figure of her mother standing opposite Kyp, by her bedside. Tears flooded her eyes in an instant. "Mom."
Jacen and Kyp both turned, and were amazed to find that they could see her, too.
"I'm proud of you, Jaina," Leia continued. "And you, Jacen. Thank you for being there for each other. And Kyp?"
He swallowed, suddenly nervous. "Yes?"
"You be good to my daughter, and to my granddaughter. I'll be watching."
He nodded rapidly. "I will. Of course I will."
Leia smiled, and looked at Jaina again. "I have to go now, baby. Remember that I love you, and I'll always be with you. And . . . tell your father that I love him."
"I will," Jaina promised in a whisper. "I love you, Mom."
Then Leia was gone.
Han stepped back into the room, Kalyn in his arms, to find Jaina sobbing in Kyp's arms, and Jacen with his hand on his sister's shoulder. "What'd I miss?"
Jaina looked up, and she was smiling despite her tears. "We had a visitor . . ."
---
end
Timeframe: post-NJO
Characters: Kyp Durron, Jaina Solo, Han Solo
Genre: angst, romance, songfic
Warnings: Character death
Summary: Kyp helps Jaina recover from a tragedy.
Notes: Song lyrics are "Collide" by Howie Day. I don't own the characters, George Lucas does.
Previous Chapters
--Chapter Seven--
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
-- "Collide", Howie Day
It was her turn now, to watch him.
Jaina stayed by his side through the night, hold his bandaged hand in hers. Han and Jacen tried a few times to get her to leave, until Mara intervened.
Jaina knew now that Kyp had watched over her when she was injured, and she couldn't leave him now. He was here because he had wanted to save her. How ungrateful would she be if she didn't return the favour?
The monitors beeped softly in the background. He wasn't on a respirator, which was good.
Wake up, she willed him silently. Please wake up.
She rested her head on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.
Kyp woke the next morning. His healing trance had helped immensely, and most of the damage had been repaired. Jaina stayed back, not sure what to say to him. "Thank you" was grossly inadequate.
Finally, Han, Jacen, and Luke left, and Jaina found herself alone with Kyp.
"You killed him," he said.
"Well, you were bleeding to death, so I couldn't exactly wait for you to get up and do it." They'd cremated the Dashade, creeped out by the fact that the headless corpse was healing itself.
"Ah, I was fine," he said. "I was just . . . regrouping."
There was an awkward silence.
"You scared us," she said, eventually.
He quirked a half smile. "Why? It's going to take more than that to take me out."
"Boy, can the dial go up any higher on your ego?"
Kyp grinned.
"We got him," Jaina told him.
He didn't look happy about it. "Not soon enough," he said.
Jaina sat beside him, perched on the side of the bed. "You didn't fail anyone, Kyp. No one holds you responsible for Mom."
Green eyes lifted. "Not even you?"
She shook her head. "Not even me. The only one responsible was that psychotic. Not you. And you'd better not hold yourself responsible for anything he did. You didn't make him do anything."
A wealth of tension flowed out of him and he sank into the pillow.
"I'll let you rest," she said. "I hear you're being released tomorow. Would you like me to pick you up?"
His expression was unreadable. "If you want to."
She returned to Kyp's apartment that night, and as she sat in the middle of his bed, she knew this was the last night she would spend here. The danger was over, Kyp would be home.
She commed her aunt and arranged to stay with the Skywalkers, and packed her things. Eventually, she would find a new apartment. Jaina knew it was necessary, but she felt sadness at the thought of leaving. It was safe here, comfortable.
She passed a restless night, searching deep within herself, cataloguing the changes, and in the morning, was only a little closer to an answer.
At the med centre, Jaina handed Kyp a bag with clothes in it, and his lightsaber. "Here you go. Is there anything else you need?"
"Decent food," he said, taking the worn handle. His fingers brushed hers, and for a moment, she didn't let go of the weapon.
"I think we can arrange that," she said with a smile that she hoped hid the sudden fluttering the brief touch had caused. "Get dressed so we can get you out of here."
She waited in the hallway until he told her she could come back in. He was pulling on his boots when she opened the door and tentatively re-entered. "Where do you want to eat?" she asked, focusing on watching him lace the scarred, battered footwear.
"Home," he said. "Don't feel like going anywhere."
She paused, thinking of the packing crates in the living area of his apartment. She had to tell him, prepare him. "Okay . . ."
He looked up, green eyes concerned despite his obvious fatigue. "What's wrong?"
Jaina hesitated, biting her lip. She didn't know how he was going to react. But she had to tell him at some point, and now was as good as any.
"I'm moving out," she said. "Going to stay with Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke."
Kyp slowly straightened, too tired and injured to hide the flare of pain in his eyes at her pronouncement. He'd known it was coming, but he hadn't known it would hurt this much. Worse than the claws of the Dashade, the thought of letting her walk out of his life like this cut deeper than any of the injuries he'd sustained.
"Why?" he asked softly.
"Because it's time. The danger's over, and I don't want to impose on you any more." The words felt wrong somehow.
His features tightened. "If that's the way you feel . . . I shouldn't impose on you, then. I'll get an air-taxi."
He picked up his bag and walked out the door. Jaina's mouth hung open, and she inwardly marvelled at how badly that had gone. She shook her head, and then ran after him.
"Kyp!"
He stopped, some distance down the corridor, backlit by the lights at the medic's station. He very slowly turned on one foot, using the bag for balance. She skidded to a halt a few metres away.
"I don't . . . don't meant it that way," she said haltingly. "I just . . . I can't help myself if I stay." She closed the distance. "I want to. I want desperately to stay, which is why I shouldn't."
"I don't understand."
Jaina chewed on her lip for a moment. "Because I want . . . to come back, when it's right. If I stay, now, I'll hate myself. I want more."
He set the bag down. "Let me see if I get this: you're leaving because you want to come back?"
She nodded.
"Goddess . . . that makes no sense whatsoever."
She licked her lips. "Okay . . . maybe this will help."
She stood on her toes, pulled his head down, and pressed her mouth to his.
When he pulled back, his eyes were wide. He raised his eyebrows. She gave him a timid smile.
Realisation came to him and his face lit. For a moment, he looked at her with delighted surprise, during which he processed the impossibility of the moment, Kyp crushed her against him, feeling that he could never let her go. The ache from his wounds disappeared as he kissed her.
"How long are you leaving for?"
"Not long," she laughed. "Of course, the sooner you want me back . . ."
Kyp smoothed her hair back. "Yeah, I know."
He pulled her forward and planted a kiss on her upturned mouth. "I'm going to get you back. You're mine."
"Not yet, she ain't."
Kyp held Jaina closer as Han came in. "That's what you think," he replied.
Jaina laughed and hugged Kyp. "A month," she said. "You can handle a month."
"I can't handle a day. I'm going to spend all day, every day, with you."
"You'd better."
He kissed her again. "I'm counting the days."
"Why are you taking all this stuff?" Jacen asked, sticking his head in the door. "Why not just leave in here?"
Han waved him off. "C'mon, kid, let's get this stuff hauled out of here."
Jaina leaned her head against Kyp's chest. "I could leave some of it here . . . But I kind of need my clothes."
"Leave whatever you want here, I honestly don't mind," he murmured. Kyp kissed the top of her head, then her temple. "A month . . . why a month?"
"Because I figured that's the longest you could wait before kidnapping me," she said with a smirk, pulling back to look up at him.
He lifted both eyebrows, looking speculative. "Kidnap you, huh?"
"Don't you even dare," she laughed.
Kyp ran his fingers over her face. "It had better be only a month. One day longer than that and I will kidnap you."
After Kyp reluctantly left that night, Jaina stood by the closed door for a full minute with a wistful smile on her face.
"You really love him, don't you?"
Jaina dragged herself out of her musing and turned to her aunt. She grinned. "I do. Took me long enough to realise it."
Mara handed her a mug of something warm and sweet, not caf. Some sort of cider. "I had my doubts, but I have to say, he certainly is devoted."
She led her niece into the living area of the Skywalker apartment and they sat on the sofa. Mara drew her legs up under herself and watched Jaina for a moment.
"The day . . . your mother died," she began, "we all felt the attack. Luke and I got there as quickly as we could. Kyp, obviously, was quicker. I got into the apartment before Luke did."
Jaina's hands felt cold; she clutched her mug tighter, but didn't tell Mara to stop.
"I've seen a lot of horrible things," the former assassin told her. "But I've never seen anything quite as devastating. Kyp did try to save your mother. you weren't quite as . . . bad off as Leia was. We think that Kyp's arrival interrupted your attacker, which was the only reason you were alive when Kyp got there."
Mara looked at her niece, and there were tears in her eyes. "I will never forget, ever, the sight of Kyp kneeling on the floor, literally holding you together. You know he and I have had our differences. I just . . . never realised just how much he cares for you until I saw him begging for your life."
Jaina took a sip of her cider with trembling hands. Five months had passed since that day, and the thought still haunted her.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this," Mara said.
"No, it's . . . it's all right. Kyp already told me." She looked into her mug. "I have to wonder, though . . . if Mom would have approved. Of me and Kyp."
Mara reached over and tucked a lock of Jaina's hair behind her ear. "She'd approve. You're happy, and that's what she always wanted."
Jaina smiled. "Thank you, Aunt Mara. I don't know what I would have done without you and Uncle Luke."
Mara's green eyes looked a little amused. "You would have survived. It's without Kyp you wouldn't have made it. But thank you."
"Mommy?"
The two women looked over the back of the sofa, towards the doorway. Ben, red hair tousled from sleep, one pant-leg up around his knee, was rubbing a fist against his eye.
Jaina smiled at the sight of her cousin. "C'mere, Bennie," she said.
The child came over and sat on the sofa, curling up against Jaina.
Mara set down her mug. Eyeing her niece, she asked, "Have you and Kyp started thinking about kids?"
"Er . . . no. I mean . . . we just got together . . ." Jaina knew her face was a bright red.
"You should think about it." Mara grinned. "Of course, it's the getting them that's the fun part."
"Mara!"
--Chapter Eight--
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
-- "Collide", Howie Day
"How are you feeling?"
Jaina didn't even look up from her datapad. "Fine. It's only been three minutes since the last time you asked."
Kyp perched on the edge of their bed. "So . . . nothing yet?"
"Nothing yet. You'll be the first to know, trust me."
Jaina's datapad rested against the bulk of her advanced pregnancy. It had been a surprise, a honeymoon baby. Though Jaina supposed that in an oddly poetic way, it shouldn't have been a surprise; her due date was the second anniversary of her mother's death.
Of course, that due date was also two weeks past, which was what had Kyp ready to jump for the door at any second.
The baby had been strangely quiescent today; normally, their daughter was active and kicking everything she could, but the baby was peaceful, perhaps waiting.
Kyp reached out and placed his hand on Jaina's abdomen. "I can't help but worry," he told her, as he used the Force to sense his daughter. "It scares me that this is something I can't protect you from."
Jaina turned off the datapad and placed her hand over his. "I know. But you shouldn't worry. We'll be fine, both of us."
"I still think you should have had labour induced two weeks ago," he said.
"She'll come when she's ready," Jaina said mildly. "Won't you, Kalyn?"
Kyp's brow wrinkled as a strange expression crossed his wife's face. "Jay?"
"Actually," she said breathlessly, "I think that would be now."
"It's about time!" he said, and sprang into motion.
Kalyn Leia Durron was born six hours later. Han was the proudest grandparent ever, and showed his granddaughter off to anyone who stood still long enough.
Kyp watch with amusement as he sat by Jaina's side, and wiped her sweaty brow. "You okay?"
"Tired," she said.
"You have a right to be," he laughed quietly. "She's huge!"
Jaina smiled wanly. "I'd like to see you try what I just went through."
"Don't think so. I fully admit that women are superior to men."
Nearby, Jacen laughed. "Nice save, Kyp."
Kyp pressed his lips to his wife's hand and ignored his brother-in-law. "You are so beautiful, Goddess. And so is our baby."
"You better remember that, when I make you get up in the middle of the night to change her diapers." Jaina reached up and ran a hand over his black curls, which Kalyn had inherited in abundance. "I just wish Mom was here to see her."
"I am."
Jaina looked up, and saw the figure of her mother standing opposite Kyp, by her bedside. Tears flooded her eyes in an instant. "Mom."
Jacen and Kyp both turned, and were amazed to find that they could see her, too.
"I'm proud of you, Jaina," Leia continued. "And you, Jacen. Thank you for being there for each other. And Kyp?"
He swallowed, suddenly nervous. "Yes?"
"You be good to my daughter, and to my granddaughter. I'll be watching."
He nodded rapidly. "I will. Of course I will."
Leia smiled, and looked at Jaina again. "I have to go now, baby. Remember that I love you, and I'll always be with you. And . . . tell your father that I love him."
"I will," Jaina promised in a whisper. "I love you, Mom."
Then Leia was gone.
Han stepped back into the room, Kalyn in his arms, to find Jaina sobbing in Kyp's arms, and Jacen with his hand on his sister's shoulder. "What'd I miss?"
Jaina looked up, and she was smiling despite her tears. "We had a visitor . . ."
---
end