Girls should not play Magic: The Gathering
Chad’s relationship with Amanda was altered almost immediately by the revelation that she entertained an interest in the same fantasy-based collectible card game that he did. In lieu of actual ‘dates’, the couple instead arranged to meet at Chad’s place a few times a week to play. Chad thought this to be a terrific idea, as it combined his new girlfriend with his favorite pastime-and having her in his apartment, he figured, implicitly contained the potentiality of sex.
It was the second mistake Chad made with Amanda. The first one was asking her to be his girlfriend.
On the evening of their second engagement, they were seated on either side of his desk (which had been cleared of papers and action figures for the occasion), and Chad was beginning to find that playing against Amanda was somewhat stranger than playing with anyone else. On the one hand, he found himself constantly looking for the next really big play, something powerful that would impress her; but at the same time, he was gripped by the unceasing urge to give her little hints on how to play better, often times upsetting his own moves by tipping her off before they occurred.
Presently, Amanda had a large gathering of magical creatures face up on her side of the table, while Chad’s side was occupied only by a pair of lonely skeleton warriors. He watched as she turned a goblin card sideways, indicating that it was attacking him. He forced himself to smile; playing the goblin had been his suggestion.
“I’ll block it with the skeletons.” He moved his cards to the middle of the table, indicating they would fight with the goblin. One of his skeletons was going to die, it looked like, but they would get rid of the goblin too. Amanda could afford to sacrifice creatures to eliminate his; her little army was beginning to outnumber his by a rather large margin.
He looked up at her. She smiled.
“I’ll play Giant Growth,” she said, showing him a green-bordered card that featured an illustration of a gigantic mouse stepping on houses in a village. He groaned as he read the card. Its effect made the goblin much bigger, effectively protecting it from any damage the skeletons might inflict-not to mention the enlarged attacker could kill both of his defenders now, leaving him defenseless. He said so.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Well, what do you know.” He cleared the dead skeletons’ cards off of the table.
The game descended rapidly from there; the next turn, she attacked him with all of her creatures, and since he had nothing to block them with, she won the game. She sat back in her chair, smiling proudly. He languished in his. She excused herself to get a drink; he let her go.
As he deflated, he wondered if they would have sex now. Somehow, it seemed unlikely.
It was the second mistake Chad made with Amanda. The first one was asking her to be his girlfriend.
On the evening of their second engagement, they were seated on either side of his desk (which had been cleared of papers and action figures for the occasion), and Chad was beginning to find that playing against Amanda was somewhat stranger than playing with anyone else. On the one hand, he found himself constantly looking for the next really big play, something powerful that would impress her; but at the same time, he was gripped by the unceasing urge to give her little hints on how to play better, often times upsetting his own moves by tipping her off before they occurred.
Presently, Amanda had a large gathering of magical creatures face up on her side of the table, while Chad’s side was occupied only by a pair of lonely skeleton warriors. He watched as she turned a goblin card sideways, indicating that it was attacking him. He forced himself to smile; playing the goblin had been his suggestion.
“I’ll block it with the skeletons.” He moved his cards to the middle of the table, indicating they would fight with the goblin. One of his skeletons was going to die, it looked like, but they would get rid of the goblin too. Amanda could afford to sacrifice creatures to eliminate his; her little army was beginning to outnumber his by a rather large margin.
He looked up at her. She smiled.
“I’ll play Giant Growth,” she said, showing him a green-bordered card that featured an illustration of a gigantic mouse stepping on houses in a village. He groaned as he read the card. Its effect made the goblin much bigger, effectively protecting it from any damage the skeletons might inflict-not to mention the enlarged attacker could kill both of his defenders now, leaving him defenseless. He said so.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Well, what do you know.” He cleared the dead skeletons’ cards off of the table.
The game descended rapidly from there; the next turn, she attacked him with all of her creatures, and since he had nothing to block them with, she won the game. She sat back in her chair, smiling proudly. He languished in his. She excused herself to get a drink; he let her go.
As he deflated, he wondered if they would have sex now. Somehow, it seemed unlikely.