[fic] Unconditional
Part One
11
Blaine thrives in Dalton--Cooper can tell--his brother’s Facebook wall is covered in comments from boys in blue blazers with red piping. Blaine’s repeating his freshman year at Dalton because of how much school he missed due to the “incident,” but that doesn’t seem to have stopped him from making friends. He looks so different now, so grown up. He got tall over the summer (and by ‘tall’ Cooper means no longer embarrassingly short and can pass as normal-human sized if he holds his shoulders the right way, and whatever, he’s still three inches shorter than Cooper) and no fifteen-year-old boy should actually have to wear a tie every day, but Blaine owns that shit and looks like some sort of little adult instead of a kid wearing his father’s clothes. He’s cut his hair, too, and has started gelling it down some, so he looks less like a clown and more…more adult.
Mostly, though, he looks happy, which is why Cooper doesn’t feel very guilty about leaving him behind.
Cooper Anderson landed a role! I’m the new spokesperson for FreeCreditReport.com
19 people like this.
The message, of course, pops up thirty seconds later.
Blaine Anderson
!!! CONGRADULATIONS!
Cooper Anderson
tnx
Blaine Anderson
Can’t type in full sentences?
Cooper Anderson
F u. im doing like 6 things at once
Blaine Anderson
So what sort of role did you land?
Cooper Anderson
A commercial! Gonna be great.
Blaine Anderson
That’s awesome! Chicago still everything you hoped and dreamed?
Cooper Anderson
Um, duh. I’m coming home next week though to get the rest of my stuff to move into my new apartment. You know, one I can actually afford now?
Blaine Anderson
Pick a good one!
Blaine Anderson
Does this mean I get your old room? ;)
Cooper Anderson
You don’t even live there half the time. What do you need my room for?
Blaine Anderson
Nothing, I guess. Might be nicer than living in the attic.
Cooper Anderson
You freaking love living in the attic.
Blaine Anderson
I really do. So nice and warm compared to the rest of the house! <3
Blaine Anderson
So when do I get to come visit you?
Cooper Anderson
After we’re done shooting. How’s Dalton treating you?
Blaine Anderson
Dalton is awesome! I just joined the Warblers!
Cooper Anderson
What the fuck is a warbler?
Blaine Anderson
Glee club! We’re an a capella group.
Cooper Anderson
Are you serious?
He types that is gay as fuck but deletes it before he hits send.
Cooper Anderson
Glee club’s pretty lame.
Blaine Anderson
:0 No!!!
Blaine Anderson
The Warblers are awesome! They’re like rock stars!
Cooper Anderson
You just said they’re an acapella group. There is no way that’s cool.
Blaine Anderson
A capella. There’s a space there.
Blaine Anderson
And we really are cool!
Cooper Anderson
If you turn into a grammar nazi I’m going to disown you. Publicly. And I’m going to be a star. I can do that now.
Blaine Anderson
You should come see us perform!
Blaine Anderson
Sectionals is next Saturday! Will you be home then?
Blaine Anderson
And there is nothing wrong with having good grammar.
Cooper Anderson
What is sectionals and why should I care?
Blaine Anderson
It’s our competition season! We compete against different schools so we can go to Regionals.
Cooper Anderson
That sounds totally not lame
Blaine Anderson
And if we win Regionals, we get to go to Nationals!
Blaine Anderson
It’s in LA this year! I could come see you!
Cooper Anderson
And if you win Nationals, do you get to go to Internationals?
Cooper Anderson
And if you win Internationals, do you get to go to Galaticals where you compete with the whole galaxy?
Blaine Anderson
I think it stops at Nationals.
Blaine Anderson
I don’t know though; let me ask Wes, he’s on the Council.
Cooper Anderson
You have a Council?!
Cooper Anderson
I take it back-that doesn’t sound lame at all
Cooper Anderson
Sounds badass
Cooper Anderson
And I was joking, btw.
Cooper Anderson
Blaine?
Cooper Anderson
Blaine?
Blaine Anderson
Sorry! Ran to ask Wes. It stops at Nationals.
Cooper Anderson
How fascinating.
Blaine Anderson
So will you come?
Cooper Anderson
Maybe. If I don’t find something cooler to do.
Cooper Anderson
Are the parentals attending?
Blaine Anderson
Mom is. Not sure about Dad.
Blaine Anderson
He’s pretty busy.
Cooper Anderson
Not on a Saturday, usually.
Cooper Anderson
I’ll talk to him.
Blaine Anderson
No, don’t!
Blaine Anderson
He won’t like it.
Cooper Anderson
Why do you say that?
Blaine Anderson
When I told him I joined Glee, he just said “Isn’t show choir sort of girly?”
Cooper Anderson
Okay listen to me.
Cooper Anderson
Show choir is pretty girly. And by girly, I mean super, super gay.
Blaine Anderson
Gee, I sort of *am* super, super gay, thanks.
Cooper Anderson
Don’t get offended, just listen to me for a second.
Cooper Anderson
Yeah, it’s gay. But if it’s something you like? Then who gives a fuck.
Cooper Anderson
I say go for it. You and your little glee club can go be rockstars
Cooper Anderson
And me and your mom will be there to cheer you on.
Blaine Anderson
:’)
Blaine Anderson
Thank you.
Cooper Anderson
You’re welcome.
Blaine Anderson
I don’t think Dad’s okay with me being gay.
Blaine Anderson
I mean, he didn’t kick me out or anything
Blaine Anderson
But he did send me to Dalton.
Cooper Anderson
Dalton was my idea, actually. I thought you were happy there?
Blaine Anderson
I am!
Blaine Anderson
It’s just
Blaine Anderson
Not everyone who goes here boards, you know.
Blaine Anderson
And those that do board have families in Michigan or Illinois or Kentucky
Blaine Anderson
Not…not Lima.
Cooper Anderson
You think Dad sent you to Dalton so he wouldn’t have to deal with you being gay?
Blaine Anderson
I don’t know!
Blaine Anderson
Maybe?
Blaine Anderson
I mean, he doesn’t ever talk to me.
Blaine Anderson
And when he does, he always acts like he’s disappointed in me.
Cooper Anderson
I’m sure that’s not true.
Blaine Anderson
Maybe.
Blaine Anderson
I took up boxing to try and make him happy.
Cooper Anderson
I thought you liked boxing?
Blaine Anderson
I do!
Blaine Anderson
Well, my therapist likes that I like to box.
Blaine Anderson
She says it’s a great way for me to deal with my anger issues in a socially-acceptable way.
Cooper Anderson
You ever talk to Dr. Shane about Dad?
Blaine Anderson
NO
Blaine Anderson
*No
Blaine Anderson
Besides, I think I’m going to stop seeing her soon.
Blaine Anderson
I’m doing a lot better now. Even Mom thinks so.
Blaine Anderson
And I’ve made friends. Everyone’s so nice here.
Cooper Anderson
I’m glad, Blaine.
Cooper Anderson
That’s all we’ve ever wanted, was for you to be safe and happy.
Blaine Anderson
I am. Safe. And happy. :D
Cooper Anderson
I’m glad.
Cooper Anderson
I’m going to come to your singing thing on Saturday.
Cooper Anderson
And I’ll try to drag Dad along too.
Blaine Anderson
No, don’t.
Blaine Anderson
He doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to.
The problem, then, is that he should want to. He should want to spend time with his son, should want to support him in any way he can.
It isn’t right, and it isn’t fair. Blaine doesn’t deserve this.
Cooper Anderson
Love you, baby bro.
Blaine Anderson
<3 <3 <3 Love you too, big bro!
It’s not enough, of course, but it-it helps.
It has to.
12
Mark Anderson will probably not be winning the Father of the Year award this time around.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not trying.
“No, you aren’t.” Cooper snaps at him, angry and hurt for reasons Mark doesn’t really understand. “If you were really trying, you’d come to his thing on Saturday.”
“I’m busy.”
“Not that busy!” Cooper yells, and slams the door behind him.
The silence is nearly painful.
13
This is what it’s like to be Mark Anderson:
You have two sons, and you love them both. One is tall and handsome and planned, popular, mouthy, straight. He gave you trouble as a child because he always needed attention and he was always getting into trouble, but that’s sort of just who he is. He’s loud, he’s bossy, he has a temper. He’s an actor and he’s going to do wonderful things with his life. It’s not the career you would have chosen for him, but he loves what he’s doing and has managed to pay his own bills. You are so proud.
The other son is quieter and looks like his mother, born early with small bones and sensitive eyes. Blaine’s the easy one compared to Cooper, or so you used to think. He practically raised himself. He’s a nice boy, well-mannered and eager to please. He’s athletic and smart and artistic in ways you don’t really understand. You’re proud of him, even if you aren’t very good at saying it.
He’s also gay, and that-that makes things so hard.
You’re not homophobic. You love your son, and you don’t really care who he wants to date. But you are so scared for him-it wasn’t too long ago that you were sitting beside his hospital bed trying to make him wake up by sheer force of will. Does he really think joining show choir is going to stop that from happening again?
You don’t care that your son is gay; you just wish he wouldn’t act gay. You don’t want him to get hurt again. Blaine’s lucky; he doesn’t look obviously queer. He can pass as straight, and really, there’s no need to go looking for trouble, is there?
(It also makes you uncomfortable, but you don’t really want to admit that.)
So you do what you can. You compliment him on the things you think he should be working on (boxing, fencing, polo, school) and you try not to talk about the things you think he shouldn’t (art, singing).
You wish it wasn’t so hard to talk to your son, but what can you do? You just want him to be safe.
(You just want him to not be gay, really.)
14
Blaine is right: the Warblers really are sort of like rock stars. They’re really good, and Cooper’s never really thought of a capella pop before, but somehow, they make it awesome.
They lose spectacularly to group called Vocal Adrenaline, who, from what Cooper can tell via a quick search on his phone, are the best show choir group in the nation.
That doesn’t mean that watching Blaine’s face fall isn’t heartbreaking, of course, but, well, if you have to lose to somebody, it might as well be the best of the best, right?
And Blaine’s still happy to see them afterwards.
“You came.” And he sounds so happy, so proud and eager to please, like a child showing off his best scribbles.
Cooper ruffles his hair as Maria hugs him tightly. “Of course we did. It turns out there still isn’t anything cool to do in Lima on a Saturday. And I believe I was promised a rock star performance, so, you know, worth the drive.”
Blaine’s smile is so optimistic it could cure cancer. “I told you! Aren’t we good?”
“You were very good, baby,” Maria coos, straightening Blaine’s hair back with her hand. “I just wish I could have heard you sing more. You blended in the background there too much for my tastes.”
“You’ll probably hear a lot from him next year,” And-oh, they aren’t alone back here, right. A tall Asian teen in a matching blazer holds his hand out for Cooper to take. “Wes Montgomery. I’m Blaine’s big brother mentor at Dalton.”
Cooper laughs, and shakes his hand. “Cooper Anderson, Blaine’s actual big brother.”
Wes smiles. “A pleasure.”
“We’re so grateful to you for looking after Blaine.” Maria offers diplomatically, one arm wrapped around Blaine like she’s still a little scared to let him go.
But Wes just shakes her off. “Blaine’s been nothing less than a gift to Dalton. Like I said, you’ll probably hear a lot from him next year-I’m thinking about making him our lead soloist.”
Blaine’s eyes go so wide Cooper thought they’d fall out of his skull.
Wes just laughs at him. “You’ll have to audition first, of course, but you’ve got a pretty amazing voice. If we have to go up against Vocal Adrenaline again next year, it’s probably a good idea to have our best up front. And you, Blaine, are definitely one of our best.”
And Cooper-this is how Cooper knows Blaine’s almost grown up and doesn’t need him anymore. Blaine doesn’t jump up and down, or get really excited, or any of the ways Cooper would expect a fifteen-year-old boy to react to getting such news.
Instead, he says: “I’ll do my best to make you proud, Wes.”
If it wasn’t for the way the light shined in his eyes, Cooper would have thought he didn’t even want to be the soloist, he seemed so…formal. Like a robot, almost. Dalton-Bot 3000, Blaine edition, with not a curl out of place and a tie done up so neatly that most grown professionals would be jealous.
But then he’s laughing and carrying on in the car on the way to lunch afterwards, so Cooper just chalks it up to Blaine maturing before his time again, and then doesn’t think about it at all.
15
Maria is teaching Blaine how to drive this summer.
He’s sixteen and doesn’t have a permit, because when he was of age to actually get a permit, he was either in a coma or at Dalton and it didn’t matter because he wasn’t driving anywhere, anyway.
Mark finds other things to keep him busy, for the most part. It’s not hard, especially since Cooper seems to have thrived in Chicago It’s not the career he would have chosen for his oldest son, but he has to admit, Cooper must be very, very good, if he’s landed a steady commercial role.
Maria-and he loves Maria, even when she is something of a hardass-corners him regardless of how busy he is.
“When we got married,” she tells him, late one night when they’re getting ready for bed, “you promised to always give me a hundred percent.”
He stops taking off his shoes and looks at her. “What do you mean? I always give you a hundred percent.”
She takes off her pearls and sets them in her jewelry box. “Let me rephrase that. When we got married, you promised to always give me and Blaine a hundred percent. A hundred and ten percent, actually, if I remember correctly.”
He takes his socks off very, very carefully. “I’ve been busy.”
“He thinks you hate him.” She takes off her earrings, slides off her dress. “Do you?”
“No!” He takes off his tie, tossing it in the general direction of the laundry basket. “He’s my son.” Like that explains everything, can accompany all the unconditional love and misaimed disappointment he feels about Blaine in a single sentence.
“Then explain to me, please, why a sixteen year old boy would think his father hated him?” Maria snaps, and, oh Lord, he’s in doghouse, big time. “When was the last time you two even talked?”
Last summer. We tried to rebuild a car together and it didn’t work. He doesn’t say that, though: instead he looks at his toenails like they’re the most interesting things in the world. “I really have been busy.”
“With what, Mark? What on Earth can be more important to you than your son?”
Nothing, actually. Mark does stupid things sometimes but there is nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his family. “We’ve been busy at the office. We don’t have Cooper there to play intern anymore. We’re short staffed.”
Maria’s eyes gleam like she’s just thought of the most brilliant idea in the entire world. “Why don’t you hire Blaine, then?”
Mark stares at her like she’s gone insane.
“Think about it! I’ve done that job before-making copies, answering the phone, filing things-Blaine could do it! He’s sixteen; he’s old enough! And it would be such a great bonding experience for you both--he could practice driving you to work, even!”
Mark…doesn’t think that’s a good idea, really, but he’s never been able to deny Maria anything, so he just nods like he agrees, and says he’ll talk to Blaine about it in the morning.
16
Blaine is…not a bad driver, not really, but he’s sixteen with a learner’s permit, and so scares his father half to death every time he gets behind the wheel. There is a reason Maria is the one to teach him how to drive, for reasons stronger than Mark just doesn’t know how to talk to his son.
“Slow down.” “Speed up.” “Pass that guy.” “Don’t pass that guy.” “JESUS CHRIST, BLAINE, DON’T HIT THE TREE!”
Needless to say, it is a very stressful drive to work for the father and son.
Once they make it to the office, though, things settle in rather peacefully. It’s probably not the bonding experience Maria had hoped it would be, but it’s nice enough. Mark’s coworkers are kind and tease Blaine good-naturedly, asking him whether he’s going to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a lawyer as well.
Blaine’s responding smile is fake and almost painful for Mark to watch. “I’m not sure yet! Guess we’ll wait and see!”
His coworkers are also good about taking turns letting Blaine drive them to the Lima Bean for their midmorning coffee break. The funniest part about that for Mark is that suddenly now Blaine drinks coffee, which Mark finds absolutely bizarre and sort of hilarious. What sort of sixteen-year-old drinks coffee, especially something as plain and boring as a medium drip?
(It’s Mark’s own drink of choice, of course; he never quite makes the connection that, maybe Blaine is only drinking the coffee because he’s hoping to impress him.)
Mostly, though, Blaine’s job is very, very boring, which is sort of why Mark waited so long before filling the position. The phone doesn’t ring that often, and while there are things to file and copy, there are long stretches of time in which nothing really happens, and it makes for a dull job.
Finally, Blaine breaks down one day and asks if he can paint.
“What do you mean?”
Blaine blushes, but stays focused on the road for the drive home. “At work, I mean. During the down time.”
It’s a stupid idea, but Mark sighs anyway. “I suppose, Blaine, if you must. Don’t make a mess.”
He’s not sure what he’s expecting after that, but it’s not walking out to the front of the office to find Blaine kneeled in front of a small model car, painstakingly painting minute details in the coating.
“Is that a ’64 Impala you’re working on there=?” Mark asks, genuinely surprised and reaching out as best he can. “That’s a good car. Very masculine and…cool.”
Blaine blinks at him. “I have no idea. I just like to paint them.”
Oh.
Oh.
He’s an idiot.
“Is that…is that something you like to do, then?”
“Yeah,” Blaine says, putting down his paintbrush gently. “I don’t know anything about cars, but I like painting them.” He gestures with his hand, making circles in the air. “After…after the accident, I’m not really coordinated enough to do much on a canvas, but I can still do models pretty well.”
He looks at the tiny, tiny details Blaine has painstakingly added to the cars-license plate numbers, fuzzy dice, textures and shines-and says “You seem pretty coordinated with that thing.”
Blaine shrugs. “Maybe it’s just a mental block, then.”
17
He sells the Chevy by the end of the summer. Blaine drives himself to Dalton in his mother’s station wagon.
Part Three