Perfection
Man is imperfect.
You do everything you can. You try and you fail. You try again and you fail. Yet you try again, and you fail. After 101 iterations, you give up.
That is not the way, though. But it is natural to be disheartened by failure. What good is a goal if it is impossible to reach? Set lower standards, more realistic goals next time?
The way is: Look back on the things you did. You succeeded in some things. Enjoy that success. You also failed in some things. Look at them clearly, and do better next time. There is no point in hitting yourself too much over the things you did wrong. But take your time, mourn the failures, and when there has been enough mourning, take clear action and move on.
Perfection is not something that can be reached here, in this place. Even getting close is often not possible. But there is no need to be disheartened by that. It is how things are. It is useless to be sad or depressed about the fact that perfection can not be reached; it is just how it is. As useless as say, being depressed about that grass is green, and not violet, which would be so much more exciting.
Still, I feel there is much I have not yet understood about all this. Need to think it through more clearly. Living in a world of grey, with nothing to obtain, is not the way either, I feel. How can this "me" person be motivated? How can it lead a dynamic, vigorous life? How much discipline, how much indulgence is necessary for happiness and a full life? I feel I have lacked discipline in my recent past. But for discipline, I think I may need a clear goal. That I lack. Can there be any worthy goal? What motivation if not?
Greetings to all of you, my friends! Sorry to spring on you with something like this after this long period of silence, but those are the things that I've been considering right now, and I thought I might write them down for a change. (The "you" is not really meant to be you, it's more meant to be me and everybody who thinks these thoughts might be useful to them.)
Enjoy the successes, celebrate them. Do not be depressed about the failures, use them, to learn for your current action. And I need to think more about goals, and what makes life colorful or grey, and about discipline versus indulgence.
Perfection is an idea in your head. You do something. You think about what you are actually doing, and you conclude that XYZ is what you are doing. You set yourself a goal. At first, it's only one of many goals. Then it becomes your goal, the one you selected. Then it becomes THE goal, which is to be reached. Then it becomes the ultimate goal. And finally, the goal becomes THE IDEA, the concept of perfection for this XYZ thing that you are doing. Never forget that THE IDEA is just an idea in your head, not even the only one, not even for XYZ.
Still, you are doing this something you set out to do. By thinking so much about your goal, the goal, THE IDEA, you have become disheartened. You can never reach THE IDEA, no matter how you do this something thing. You may as well give up now. But then, this something does not get done. What motivation to continue doing it? Practical approach: Just do it, as well as you can. You have set yourself up for a disappointment, but the thing gets done.
Still, for next time, how do you prevent this disappointment? They pile on other disappointments, and you get depressed because you only see disappointment in everything you do. This is precisely because you latch on to THESE IDEAS like there is no tomorrow. Relax. Think about what you are doing. That is right. But do not bite into the goals like a bulldog on a leg. There is no use. Enjoy the flowering of goals, ideas, concepts, bearing in mind that they are transient and not substantial, only in your head.
Hmmm... that is a nice thought. Maybe if I concentrate more on this enjoyment of concepts, I'll be less compulsive and more agile and active. Your outlook on life, your moods are patterns, often induced by the fabric of your personality in combination with external factors, often simple ones such as the time of day, the season, the environment you are in, and the people you interact with at that moment.
This is just how human minds work. The fabric of your personality does not change quickly. But it can be influenced by recognizing and taking care of your surroundings. Act according to the time of day. Do things that are to be done in the season. Improve the environment you are in, like decorating the room, cleaning up, adding some plants or cool items. Be present for the people you interact with, and do not interact carelessly or without respect. Like this, maybe your mood and outlook on life, your personality fabric improves, your happiness increases, and/or you can do more good for others.
(All that kind of sounds brainwashed and hippy-like. But I'm really asking myself the question, how do I improve my life, treat others better, make my home and work environment agreeable? If you think about it, I believe you are bound to arrive at these phrases sooner or later... I see the repeating patterns of doom in my past, and I'm wondering how to change that.)
Final question: These are all nice thoughts, but tomorrow I'll be in a completely different mood, and I'll all have forgotten them. But I want to follow through with improving my life. What do I do? So, my plan:
* Goals and IDEA(L)S are just thoughts. Do not latch onto them. Use and develop them. Enjoy them.
* Improve your surroundings by setting actions, with care, and thereby improve your mood.
* Imperfection and failure are just thoughts, insubstantial. The real failure would be to stop trying and giving the best you can.
(Afterword: Not reaching your imagined goal can have two reasons: One, you failed in setting realistic goals. Mourn the failure a bit, then move on, learn from it and set your goals more in tune with reality next time. Two, you purposely set your goal to something which can not be reached realistically, in order to get as close to that ideal as possible. Failure is intrinsic in that, but you took that into account when you decided on reaching that ideal. Being depressed or disheartened about not reaching it is just illogical in that case. The best you can do is plenty enough.)
Oh yeah, and a fourth point for my plan:
* Enjoy your successes! Celebrate them!
Points to think about:
* What makes life colorful or grey?
* How about discipline and indulgence?