Quite Unrequited
'I love you' I say
'I love you too' he says
'Yes, you do' I say, 'But not in the same way'
'Oh.' he says
'Oh. Oh? I love you, I say!' I say.
'And I love you-'
'Yes, you do' I say, cutting him off mid-flow
'But you're not in love with me,
Your bones don't ache for me
The boundaries, the walls of you
Don't quake for me
Your knees don't knock for me
You don't feel fitfully queasy for me
You don't yearn for the day
When you look in my eyes
And they twinkle back
Nova-like, bright and burning
Do you?'
'No,' he tells me, 'I don't
I'm sorry'
'You're sorry.' Says me.
'No. Not really.
It's not my fault.
Not sorry, then, but
Regretful' he says.
'Me too' says me
'So?' says he
'So?' I reply
'Yes, so.'
'So what? So nothing,
So I'll love you a little more
Than you return my affections
So our lives will weave
In and out of each other
In different directions
We'll leave and we'll come back
We'll fall out and reconnect
We'll call and we'll text
And we'll go through tunnels and get disconnected.'
'We'll live' he says
'Yes' I say
'And I'll love you
And I'll carry it around with me
Unfulfilled and unresolved
A little part of me that I'll get used to
'Til I notice it no more
Than the measles scar on my temple
Or a birthmark
That now and again
Your weird-strange speak
Will resurrect
Reminding my knees to go weak
Then I'll remember it'
'That's a bit tragic' he says
'My eyes will never twinkle,
They'll be wide and they'll shine for you
But they'll not burn
Just drink you pathetically in.
How should I deal with your pining?
Even if you don't
I'll imagine you whining to me
About me
'Cos I love you
And my love is a bright shining thing
But your 'greater' love will tarnish it
Will make me think every time
You do something nice
You write me a story
Or just buy me a drink
It's just because you love me
Is a cry to love you back.
Why did you tell me?
How am I s'posed to be your friend
When in the end I know you want more.'
And I say 'I don't know
Live with it
The same way I do
Carry it with you
Or cast it aside
Forget it
I don't mind
And I don't see it as tragic
I have and will have other loves
Other lovers
My heart's fickle changeable thing
I'll have other awkward silences
Other kisses stolen under the cover of dark
Other marks and bruises on my skin
Other scratches down my back and heart
And my love for you will be there
Scratched and black and blue
If you want it.'
'Well,' he said
'I guess that's something.'
'Yeah.' I say.
'Some thing.'
'I love you too' he says
'Yes, you do' I say, 'But not in the same way'
'Oh.' he says
'Oh. Oh? I love you, I say!' I say.
'And I love you-'
'Yes, you do' I say, cutting him off mid-flow
'But you're not in love with me,
Your bones don't ache for me
The boundaries, the walls of you
Don't quake for me
Your knees don't knock for me
You don't feel fitfully queasy for me
You don't yearn for the day
When you look in my eyes
And they twinkle back
Nova-like, bright and burning
Do you?'
'No,' he tells me, 'I don't
I'm sorry'
'You're sorry.' Says me.
'No. Not really.
It's not my fault.
Not sorry, then, but
Regretful' he says.
'Me too' says me
'So?' says he
'So?' I reply
'Yes, so.'
'So what? So nothing,
So I'll love you a little more
Than you return my affections
So our lives will weave
In and out of each other
In different directions
We'll leave and we'll come back
We'll fall out and reconnect
We'll call and we'll text
And we'll go through tunnels and get disconnected.'
'We'll live' he says
'Yes' I say
'And I'll love you
And I'll carry it around with me
Unfulfilled and unresolved
A little part of me that I'll get used to
'Til I notice it no more
Than the measles scar on my temple
Or a birthmark
That now and again
Your weird-strange speak
Will resurrect
Reminding my knees to go weak
Then I'll remember it'
'That's a bit tragic' he says
'My eyes will never twinkle,
They'll be wide and they'll shine for you
But they'll not burn
Just drink you pathetically in.
How should I deal with your pining?
Even if you don't
I'll imagine you whining to me
About me
'Cos I love you
And my love is a bright shining thing
But your 'greater' love will tarnish it
Will make me think every time
You do something nice
You write me a story
Or just buy me a drink
It's just because you love me
Is a cry to love you back.
Why did you tell me?
How am I s'posed to be your friend
When in the end I know you want more.'
And I say 'I don't know
Live with it
The same way I do
Carry it with you
Or cast it aside
Forget it
I don't mind
And I don't see it as tragic
I have and will have other loves
Other lovers
My heart's fickle changeable thing
I'll have other awkward silences
Other kisses stolen under the cover of dark
Other marks and bruises on my skin
Other scratches down my back and heart
And my love for you will be there
Scratched and black and blue
If you want it.'
'Well,' he said
'I guess that's something.'
'Yeah.' I say.
'Some thing.'