Fallout three, the real good ending....
Many people consider Fallout Three’s ending (I among them) to be a the equivalent to a kick to the nuts from someone wearing steel toed shoes.
Well as my free gift to Bethesda for an otherwise very good game, here’s my version of the ending which would have made so MUCH MORE SENSE!
James: So we’ve agreed that the radiation in that chamber is completely deadly to anyone who goes in there right?
(All present nod)
James: even to me in this totally souped up battle armor which is practically self contained to judge by the oxygen tanks and after injecting myself with more needles full of drugs than you average football player.
(All present nod)
James: And my stalwart Ghoul manservant won’t do it because?
Cal: (Guy who is HEALED by radiation) I really got sick of you calling me that just because Herbert “Daring” Dashwood does it.
James: Okay fine. And my robotic companion won’t do it because
Robot: If I could form a finger, I’d give you one!
James: Right then. And you supermutant of unidentified gender who already did this kind of thing get me the GECK kit which started this entire mess)
V (From V for Vendetta): Verily one as verbose but sadly as unvirile...
James: Forget I asked. So I guess it’s just you and me.
(James turns to Mirri, daughter of the commander of the brotherhood of steel)
Mirri: This place is gonna blow soon if somebody doesn’t do something.
James: Yeah. Okay then here it is...
(Entire Jefferson Memorial rings with the words ROCK PAPER SISSORS SHOOT!”)
(Shot of James laying on the ground after Mirri kicked him in the nuts)
James: Good move...
Mirri: Thanks.
James: Guess it’s up to me now... (stands back up)... hey Cornel jackass, remember how I convinced you how it’s pointless to try and fight us since I’d just have my twenty foot robot step on you? And how I was going to give you a chance to survive today despite the fact that you were the go to man who forced my father to turn up the radiation in that chamber in the first place and kill himself in the process?
Cornel Autumn: (Imagine a guy with a voice almost painfully like Fog Horn Leg Horn) I say, I say I do boy and it was might grand of you to!
James: Guess what now’s the part where you get be a hero and save humanity, this is the mutated FEV virus your boss wanted to put into the water supply... (tosses Virus to V who is holding a plasma gattling gun in the other) we’ve got two minutes left till this place blows, you’ll survive for about thirty seconds in there, the password is 216... (pauses and recites in deeply sanctified voice) Revelations 2:16 ““I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life, freely”
Mirri: (Looks at watch) Now we’ve only got one thirty left you were thinking of Revelation 21:6, becuase Revelation 2:16 is “Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.”
James: Oh, but hey, that sorta fits your situation! (Everyone grabs Cornel Autumn and shoves him into the chamber where he forced James’ dad to commit suicide in the first place) have fun!
(Cornel goes over to command consol presses in code then keels over and dies)
James: (From outside) He did it!
Mirri: No solider, we did it, welcome to Lion’s Pride!
James: Woot!
(Shot of James and Mirri ridding on either shoulder of giant 20 foot tall robot named Liberty Prime in front of cheering crowd of Brotherhood of steel members)
Liberty Prime: Democracy is NOT Negotiable!
James: You’ve got that right!
See how much better would the game be if it had that for an ending?