02: Every sperm is sacred or; uncomfortable vaginal situations are fucking inevitable.

[jamesmcvoy]

It absolutely goes without saying that your life changes when you sign your soul away. It also goes without saying that you, be you man or woman, must alter certain habits. Stop humming whilst you brush your teeth. Stop that before you co-habitate. That nasty habit, while cute in the beginning, will turn into a fucking nuisance a few years down the

Comments

[simmj]

I cannot believe you wrote about vaginal infections.

The rest of the entry is brilliant of course, and almost makes me miss being married, but. Damn, James McAvoy.

[jamesmcvoy]

I just read the vibes of lads everywhere and decided to Take One For The Team, man.

Hahaha thanks, thanks very much indeed. This will be the last time I write about vaginal infections, so soak up the hilarity now.

[millerrs]

You could've at least rung me a few times to let me know to expect this on my friendspage, you prat. I nearly spilled coffee all over myself.

[jamesmcvoy]

And ruin the fucking surprise? Absolutely not. Besides, I try only to ring for emergencies. Like, you know. WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER.

[millerrs]

I reckon you giggled whilst typing that.

[avrillavigne]

i hope when i get married he will know as much about vaginal infections/taking care of me as you do with your wife

[jamesmcvoy]

There's a secret to it, you know. Pick the most unamusingly hammish fuck in a pub, tell him you're as good as he'll ever get and drag him back to your flat. He'll believe you.

[avrillavigne]

you have much knowledge

[jamesmcvoy]

Hahah I'm a fucking idiot, Avril. You're nothing less if you take anything I say seriously.

[j_rhysmeyers]

I leave empty jars because it's my fridge. Well, okay. And because I never really keep food in the house. Rather empty jars than a completely empty fridge except for condiments and takeout.

[jamesmcvoy]

I'll never understand your lack of a food obsession. Well, I blame it on your being from Cork and having fucked your tastebuds with too many one-offs with Coke. But in all honesty, man, if you ever get around to settling down, you'll learn. Or you will be beaten.

[j_rhysmeyers]

McAvoy, I think maybe you've somehow misplaced every single conversation we've ever had about food, and that's impressive cos we always talk about food. How is that a lack of food obsession? The rest of that is just. Well I just don't know.

[a_jolie]

I've been through married life one too many times and it just doesn't work out. Now anytime I have thoughts of marriage, I just watch those crime shows about spouses "snapping". On another note, VANESSA REDGRAVE.

[jamesmcvoy]

Marriage isn't for everyone, Angie. I just so happen to think marriage would do nothing but shackle you to an idea that doesn't fit what's in your heart of hearts. WHAT ABOUT HER? We shagged, you know. Vanessa and I.