I'm just a ghost, I'm on your street. Waitin', when you comin' home?

[jane_lane18]

My response to the Supernatural finale using the Kübler-Ross 

1. Denial-This is not happening. I know I said the finale would probably go down like this at the beginning of last season b/c I thought Sam sacrificing himself was the only way to redeem his character after all the 'dark deeds' in the past couple of seasons and the way the writers have basically made it so his actions and reasons are interpreted in the worst possible light. And I know I've been craving evil!Sam since Born Under a Bad Sign but Show, that doesn't mean you have to cram it down my throat until I gag on it. I repeat: This is not happening.


2. Anger-Okay so it happened. Show, I hate you so much!!! No really, we are breaking up!! I never want to see you and the car and the boys ever again!


3. Bargaining- Dear Supernatural writers, I will stop reading fanfic at work, forget all of the problems I had with seasons 4 & 5, and hold off on my campaign of annoying Creation into having a SPN convention in the South if you bring back Sam-my Sam and not some Locke/smoke monster facsimile.


4. Depression-Seriously, I'm traumatized. I was so traumatized I fell off the couch while watching it and completely missed the Chuck is God reveal (WTF?). When I woke up from the short nap that I had instead of actual sleep last night, all I could think about was this episode. I completely forgot I went to an awesome concert before watching SPN. I haven't been this depressed over a finale since the X Files episode Gethsemane. Show, I take it back, we're not broken up but I need some time to heal.I don't think I can even look at Jared Padalecki's face without tearing up.


5. Acceptance- We'll start slowly and ween our back with a little Dark Angel and Gilmore Girls until I can see their faces without freaking and then the funny episodes of Supernatural. However, it's only 7 hours since I watched it and I kind of (read: really) can't wait for the fic so I guess it's going to be okay.

In the past couple of years I've veered more towards an equal opportunity Winchester fangirl but at my core I'm still that crazy obsessive Samgirl from season 1. So it's been hard watching this show and what they've been doing with Sam. For awhile I considered dropping it but the last two episodes, though they caused me great pain in my little over-invested fangirl soul, reminded me of everything I love about this show and why I'll never leave it until the credits roll on that last episode. These were the boys I love being glorious, heroic, angsty bastards. And the fucking car! Just keep breaking my heart SPN!

I thought I would have some actual meta once I woke up but I think I need to watch the episode again and think on it. I'm just hoping it was God who brought Sam back (whole) and Sam choosing to give Dean a shot at a normal life by staying out of it which can lead to a season 6 where Dean chases down rumors of a hunter matching Sam's description.