George Walker Bush
Past work experience:
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in
Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold
all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer
money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago
White Sox.
With my father's help and nearly the same name, was
elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments:
I changed pollution laws for oil and power companies
and made Texas the most polluted state in the nation.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog
ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government in
billions in borrowed money.
I Set record for most executions by any governor in
American history.
I became president after losing the popular vote by over
500,000 votes, with the help of Republican
appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
I attacked and took over two countries.
I spent the country's surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in
history.
I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed
in any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for biggest stock market drop in its
history.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal
prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with
a criminal record.
In my first year in office set the all-time record for most
vacation days taken by any president.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I
presided over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips of
any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans
lost their jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work
Americans than any president in US history.
I set the all-time record for the most mortgage
foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
positions than any president in US history.
I set the record for the lowest number of press
conferences than any president since the
invention of television.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than any president in US history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history
and refused to intervene when corruption was
revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US
history and refused to use the national reserves as past
presidents have.
I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15
million people), shattering the record for protest against
any person in the history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable
of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history.. (The 'poorest'
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil
tanker named after her).
I am the first president in US history to have
all 50 states bankrupted at the same time.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud
of any market in any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a
US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I created the largest government department
bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget
spending increases, more than any president in US
history, while at the same time proposing tax cuts.
I am the first president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the US from the human rights
commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring
board.
My administration has the least amount of
congressional oversight than any in US history.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of
war, as prescribed by the Geneva Convention.
I hold the record for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also
one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest
corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth
Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any
president in US history.
I am the first president in US history to unilaterally
attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United
Nations and the world community.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority
of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as
the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be
awarded government contracts.
I set all-time records for the number of administration
appointees who violated US law by not selling huge
investments in corporations bidding for government
contracts.
I failed to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder
the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol
building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero
suspects.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for
Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years I created the most divided
country in decades, possibly the most divided the US
has ever been since the Civil War.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US
history and in less than two years every economic
category plunged.
Records and References:
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not
available).
I was AWOL from National Guard. Records from my
tenure as governor of Texas are in my father's library,
unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider
trading or bankrupt companies are sealed and
unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I
served on the board are sealed and unavailable for
public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and
unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or
uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their
offices of the Carlyle Group for war-
profiteering).
Well, I know who I am NOT voting for. As if there was any doubt. Hate hate hate that cockface. Hope he chokes on another pretzel....
~Kirch
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in
Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold
all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer
money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago
White Sox.
With my father's help and nearly the same name, was
elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments:
I changed pollution laws for oil and power companies
and made Texas the most polluted state in the nation.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog
ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government in
billions in borrowed money.
I Set record for most executions by any governor in
American history.
I became president after losing the popular vote by over
500,000 votes, with the help of Republican
appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
I attacked and took over two countries.
I spent the country's surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in
history.
I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed
in any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for biggest stock market drop in its
history.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal
prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with
a criminal record.
In my first year in office set the all-time record for most
vacation days taken by any president.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I
presided over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips of
any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans
lost their jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work
Americans than any president in US history.
I set the all-time record for the most mortgage
foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
positions than any president in US history.
I set the record for the lowest number of press
conferences than any president since the
invention of television.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than any president in US history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history
and refused to intervene when corruption was
revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US
history and refused to use the national reserves as past
presidents have.
I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15
million people), shattering the record for protest against
any person in the history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable
of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history.. (The 'poorest'
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil
tanker named after her).
I am the first president in US history to have
all 50 states bankrupted at the same time.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud
of any market in any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a
US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I created the largest government department
bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget
spending increases, more than any president in US
history, while at the same time proposing tax cuts.
I am the first president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the US from the human rights
commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring
board.
My administration has the least amount of
congressional oversight than any in US history.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of
war, as prescribed by the Geneva Convention.
I hold the record for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also
one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest
corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth
Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any
president in US history.
I am the first president in US history to unilaterally
attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United
Nations and the world community.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority
of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as
the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be
awarded government contracts.
I set all-time records for the number of administration
appointees who violated US law by not selling huge
investments in corporations bidding for government
contracts.
I failed to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder
the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol
building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero
suspects.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for
Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years I created the most divided
country in decades, possibly the most divided the US
has ever been since the Civil War.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US
history and in less than two years every economic
category plunged.
Records and References:
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not
available).
I was AWOL from National Guard. Records from my
tenure as governor of Texas are in my father's library,
unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider
trading or bankrupt companies are sealed and
unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I
served on the board are sealed and unavailable for
public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and
unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or
uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their
offices of the Carlyle Group for war-
profiteering).
Well, I know who I am NOT voting for. As if there was any doubt. Hate hate hate that cockface. Hope he chokes on another pretzel....
~Kirch