Rachel's Insanely Long Post About Lost & Alias!
Now watch, with a title like that, I'm going to end up making this post really short. You KNOW it'll happen. I'm in a bit of a haze right now, as far as thoughts are concerned. Why? Well ALIAS started last night and that's... ya know... time consuming. :) THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR LOST AND ALIAS!
Well, where do we even begin, hmm? This show really does a good job with messing with my BRAIN! It makes me all mushy on the insides. It melts the peep! IT MELTS MY PEEP! (If anyone is wondering, a 'Peep' is a baby's soft spot. Face it.) I'm going to do something similar to last week so that I can organize my thoughts.
THINGS RACHEL SHALL DISCUSS
● Locke's Magical Mystery Tour
● KATE!
● Desmond!
● Michael via Flashbacks
● Michael & Sawyer via the RAFTS
● The obnoxious and not needed Charlie and Claire scene
● The end of the episode
● Next Week's Preview
● Predictions & Theories
LOCKE'S MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (of doom)
Well, anyone who knows me, knows that LOCKE is my boy. Alright? There's no way around that. I love every damn thing about him. Of course now I have a second favorite, or some sort. But I'll get to him later. Right now we should discuss Locke. I have only seen the episode once at this point so a lot of my stuff will probably be wrong and not accurate. Keep that in mind, since, ya know, I'm telling ya'll up front. Heh. I'm trying to remember things I thought...
So Locke throws himself down the hatch like a badass. But that's not out of the ordinary because Locke is a badass. Who thought that perhaps they had wanted the first episode of this season to be two hours? I think they might have because this feels like it would have fit in nicely. But at the same rate the episode feels like it might not have fit in nicely. It's hard to decide. Anyway, Locke's in Desmond's hole, and all that good stuff.
First thing, he takes his shoes off. I don't know who it was that brought this up over at lost_theories, but someone said he was probably doing it to sneak around. I don't know, maybe I said it. Either way. GOOD JOB! Spot on!
My brother brings up a lot of things at this point while we're watching the show. Everything feel very different when Locke is sneaking around the hatch. Of course we learn later that there's a reason for that, but whatever. Locke finds Kate and that's funny. Then there's the whole 'Are you him?' thing. Wes says "if Desmond somehow controls the monster, then perhaps when Locke saw it, Desmond saw him?" Maybe? Seems strange, but could work.
And like Locke's typical badass self, he says that yes he is him. Rock. Okay... what does Desmond say to Locke when he's trying to figure Locke out? 'What did one someone say to another someone?' Hmmm. Locke convinces Desmond that he's harmless and Kate looks hilarious. I really don't know what I think right about here, save for praise for Locke. He's always the best. ALWAYS the best.
Is Locke him? YES. I'm convinced he is him, but maybe he doesn't know he's him. Locke is him. Bottom line.
Edit: Watching with closed caption on, Desmond says - "What did one snowman say to another snowman?" And after googling, it's a kids joke. The answer is: 'Can you smell carrots?'
KATE!
So who out there loved Kate more than they ever have loved Kate, in this episode? I know I'm not the only one. There was just something absolutely entertaining about watching herin the little air vents. Or even when Locke stuck his hand down her pants. It was so great. And as Michele says, she'd better go back to camp and act like Santa Clause! LOL! Can you just see that? Kate running around "And you get a candy bar. And you get a candy bar. And you get a candy bar. EVERYBODY GETS A CANDYBAR!"
...Then Oprah sues Lost.
When she was first thrown into Desmond's Y2K pantry of doom, I had no idea where the hell she was or what the hell she was going to do. I mean... let's look at this logically. He could have put her anywhere. And the fact that Locke was sort of okay with that... I mean I know Locke was having to play up a role, so he definitely did a good job at that. But I would have also been like "maybe we could keep her with us..." lol
AND THEN when she got the lights on! I said to my brother: "If she turns around and finds a body ala CHUNK in THE GOONIES, I will cry." Okay I didn't say that quote, but he knew what I was saying in my incoherent mumbling about a body. And who else was disappointed that she didn't run around the pantry and open every jar and stick her finger in to taste what's in there? I'd have done that. But I also wouldn't have been able ot get myself untied, thanks. LOL
Mama always said, life is like a freak ass Y2K pantry in a crazy bomb shelter you get pulled into when the guy who couldn't walk before finds and blows open a hatch on the 'deserted' island your plane crashes on while you're being transported back to the US as a criminal... You never know what you're gonna get.
Everything in there is very organized. But it would be stupid, at this point, to say 'Government issue. It's just bulk. Obviously Desmond is having a long stay on Institution Island. But everything DOES have the Dharma symbol on it, which is like a Feng Shui symbol - or so I've heard. I've not actually looked at a Feng Shui symbol yet. LOL. Either way, it's consistent.
Later on, when Kate was in the air vents... well let's just say she caught my heart. First she's like "What the hell... PONG!? They're playing Atari without me? THOSE ASSHOLES! I kick ass at PONG! I am going to have to go down there and whoop them!" And then later she's like, "...Gay. Disco." And THEN when Desmond almost SHOOTS HER!? BRILLIANT! PRICELESS! I loved every minute of it. Can't wait to see what happens next with her. I can stand her a lot more than I could last season.
DESMOND!
He's so damn cool. I cannot get over how much I love this character. Everything about his is brilliant. He smiles a lot. He's almost relieved to see people, if you didn't notice that. He's relieved that the world still exists. He knows something and he just isn't sure if he should tell people. Perhaps it is a government type job and he doesn't have the authorization to give information to anyone without the proper clearance. Yes. Alias words.
I loved every moment of him speaking with Locke. Clearly Desmond hasn't seen people for a while. I mean we all saw the tally marks on his wall. He's been there for a while. He plays Ping Pong alone - the poor boy! Maybe Locke will be his new partner. I'd enjoy that.
When Locke asked him his name... I mean who else thought that was an extremely important scene? If you didn't, okay, but if you did, let me know. I thought that was one of the most important exchanges of the evening. My brother put it best: "Desmond doesn't want to be mean. He doesn't want to be hostile. He's just so overwhelmed and most likely afraid right now that he doesn't know what to do." That makes complete sense to me. I find it important how he also doesn't answer Locke's questions.
As far as the punching in the numbers scene... It's not as though the gun being pointed at Locke is like "punch in these numbers because I don't want to." It's like "Punch in these numbers because at this moment I don't trust you and if you don't punch them in correctly, you'll fuck things up." The urgency there is about protecting himself. Almost as though if the numbers are not punched in, they're both screwed. Everyone is screwed. He's been punching in these numbers at all hours because if he doesn't, EVERYONE IS SCREWED.
And finally, what is the analysis on whether or not Desmond remembered Jack. I don't think he does remember him. And the moment between Jack and Desmond in the past was so insignificant, if you think about it. At least in Desmond's life - because of course in Jack's life a major moment followed. So is he not remembering him because that information has been omitted from his brain, or is he not remembering him because... well let's face it, no one remembers everyone and everything?
MICHAEL VIA FLASHBACKS
Umm, Michael's flashbacks, I think, are always great. I think he's one of the most honest people on the island. There's a kindness about that man, as well as a suffering, and I appreciate both. He's really a great character. Obviously it correlated very well with Walt being taken away. It was the second time his son was taken away from him, etc.
And as at the end, he was going to do anything to get him back. He feels redemption on both counts - losing his son then, and losing his son before. So, Michael definitely is our tragic character at the moment. I'm glad he's on the show.
I wouldn't be a good Lost reviewer without mentioning the Polar Bear Michael gave Walt. Of course in my own mind, he bought the Polar Bear just minutes before from Desmond's Stuffed Creature Shanty & Shark Emporium, but ya know. Either way, we have to wonder if that is an important piece of information, that will lead to later realizations about things on the island, or if it was simply a treat from the people who make Lost? That's one of those things we'll have to wait to find out. Either way, Michael's flashbacks never bore me.
MICHAEL & SAWYER VIA THE RAFTS
Umm, yeah, I have two takes on, first, how they were acting. On the one hand Michael was being a bit of a bitch to Sawyer. I mean, come on... the guy just saved your effing life. Show some gratitude instead of telling him he made you lose your boy. However on the other hand, MICHAEL'S SON WAS TAKEN AWAY. LOL I don't know, I see it both ways, I guess.
So who out there was absolutely STOKED to see Sawyer again? Just hearing his voice reminded me of how much I love Lost. He's one of those characters that really makes you love the show, what with his redneck attitude. He's brilliant. "Do ya got a band-aid?" NICE. Oh my gosh! I love it. It was just all around wonderful to have him around. And like, when he just FELL over after pulling his bullet out - which was wonderfully disgusting, thanks - I laughed so hard.
Umm, Jin? Where the hell is Jin? Actually I knew where Jin was, but still, good job making us think everyone's favorite Korean Mercenary was dead.
I loved all of the Jaws angles. The shark, by the way, is so important, isn't it? No, it really is - that is if that one picture I've seen floating around is not photo-shopped. The picture supposedly has the symbol from the hatch on the Shark's fin. And if that is the case, then it's obviously something very important. If that ISN'T the case, and it's just a shark... then okay... But I need to look this up anyway. Don't larger fish stay in cold water? I mean, I know Killer Whales migrate, but still... I'm really going to have to look this one up. I didn't think sharks that big went in warm water.
Nothing really else to say. Michael's crying when they woke up was wonderful. Sawyer's losing the bullets was really stupid. And if the shark is important, then now both Michael and Sawyer have shot one of Dr. Desmond's Animal Experiments. The island? IS HUGE. And would someone please check their DVDs and tell me if Arzt said that if they weren't careful they'd end up being put into a current that would take them ot the other side of the island? Right. Maybe I imagined him saying that. But he was a mouthy sonofabitch.
THE OBNOXIOUS AND NOT NEEDED CHARLIE AND CLAIRE SCENE
...I'm sorry, I just don't like those two. I could do without watching them. It was good to see her noticing his Virgin Mary statuette that he would like to run off and crack open. Good. But at the same time, it really meant very little to me. However, Aaron is a cute little baby, right? Yay. I'm just not a fan of Charlie's Drug Induced Mellow Drama... [SPOILER ALERT! That is, unless the huge black man who is supposedly one of the Nigerian Drug Runners, sees Charlie with the drugs and proceeds to beat the hell out of him...] However, I will not deny the fact that her telling him he's not funny is cute. And I totally wonder if Desmond has any peanut butter.
THE END OF THE EPISODE
Wow. So... I mean, I know who those people are, because I'm a spoiler hor. BUT OH MY GOSH! Jin running out like that?! INSANE. And he's totally got one English word down. I don't know why, but he's really climbing the list on my favorite characters. He's got something so cool going on. And WHY did they do that black shadowing stuff? Everyone is calling those people zombies...
Are they the ones that are actually classified as 'The Others'? If so, then WHO THE HELL took Walt? Are those people connected!? Ahhh! It leaves so many questions open. I'm going to try not to go to my spoiler source any longer because I wish I had been surprised by that. LOL. They're... I don't even know WHAT to say. But I will point out that one of them in the back... is Michelle Rodriguez. On the right side, in the back. Watch closely.
NEXT WEEK'S PREVIEW
If Michelle Rodriguez was with the 'others' as Jin has named them, then WHY is she getting thrown in the hole? And about holes... I have to tell you, I used to talk about Ethan digging holes and putting people in them. Looks like I wasn't too far off, huh? AND WHO WAS ETHAN WITH!? We have to figure this one out. Was he with this group of people throwing people in holes? Was he with Desmond? Was he with the Hillbilly Pirates!? AHHHH! It's all so damn confusing, isn't it?
DESMOND. RUNNING. THROUGH. THE. WOODS. *SQUEAL* I don't even know where to begin with that one! DEEEESMOND RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS! What does that mean!? Is he like "I'm freeee!" Is he like "ohsweetchrist! THE MONSTER WILL EAT ME!!!" Is he like "SICKNESS ON MY CLOTHES!" I just... I cannot speak there. And what is he running to or from? Wes's thoughts: The cable that led both Hurley and Sayid to Rousseau. Maybe Desmond knows to follow it the other way?
I swear to God, this show is so confusing. Hurley in the hatch!? How'd he get down? And Locke not knowing what to do? I predict they're going to make Hurley press the numbers in because, aside from Desmond, he's the only one who has them memorized, isn't he? Hmmmm.
PREDICTIONS & THEORIES
First of all is the thing about Hurley. I think they're going to want him punching in the numbers.
I think Desmond knows to find something on the island.
I think... Well this is a weird theory that I think is interesting. The painting in the hatch is supposedly similar to the paintings Claire's boyfriend did. Umm... could Claire have been in the hatch? Of course that might not work because the hatch was found before Claire was returned, right? Yeah, I'm really not all that sure on this, but who knows. It's hard to figure out WHO had Claire, isn't it? And who knows of whom? Who's working together?
I'll probably expand on this section later.
And this is where we shift gears and turn out attention to Alias - also known as the best damn show on television. JJ's other brain child. And when it was in it's prime - JJ's better brain child.
This will probably be shorter due to the amount of space I don't know LJ will give me for making a post. I will try my best, though, to be thorough. I'll be using the same format as I do with Lost.
THINGS RACHEL SHALL DISCUSS
● The Cornfield
● Michael Vaughn's real name
● CIA bullshit
● Prophet Five
● Syd and Vaughn in Cape Town
● Blonde Bitch
● The scene
● The other scene
● The other other scene
● The end
● Sloane's motives
● A moment to squeal
● Thoughts & Preditions
● A message to the 'negative' fans
THE CORNFIELD (of doom)
I suppose I should just jump right into this, huh? CORNFIELD? That's oddly strange, but whatever. I guess I didn't remember them being anywhere near a cornfield? Either way it was cool because they used it really well. Syd is SUCH a badass, isn't she? She automatically realized something was up and was like "oh hell no bitchez." I love that about her.
So, obviously phony ambulance people. Why did Vaughn start telling her all of that info about himself and then they get hit? Perhaps he knew something was going to happen? That timing is great for a cliffhanger, but it's bad for realism. However something else in this episode was great for realism, so they made up for it.
Umm... really there's not much to say about this. Vaughn was taken away, and Sydney was left there... I mean... It's just sort of a wow thing. How often does she save him? Often, huh? I don't know. Did anyone else notice that the whole 'previously on Alias' thingy seemed weird? Did they even do that? I might have been talking. LOL. But it just seemed like the scene wasn't like it was at the end of last season. But that's normal, right? I mean, that's TV stuff, not story stuff.
MICHAEL VAUGN'S REAL NAME
Andre Mischeau? I know that's spelled wrong. I need to learn how to spell that. LMAO I am a mod, after all. Cool though. Umm... the scenes with Vaughn and those guys!? Coool! Not as good as say, Sark, being interrogated but still cool. And setting his shoulder? Nice touch. OH MY GOSH! How'd he get in the roof!? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HE USED A SCREW DRIVER!!! LMAO! I would love that. A screw driver can't always save you, Michael.
... Little thing I just thought of. Do you think when Syd 'died' he started drinking screw drivers a lot?
CIA BULLSHIT
So what the hell? New black man is a little irritated. Maybe he's been talking to Kanye and he thinks the president doesn't care about him? I'd much rather see Angela Bassett's 'OH NO YOU DIDN'T' self any day. But okay, whatever. Sydney is obviously protecting Michael. Oh my gosh! JACK!
Who out there just gleefully giggled when they saw Jack? Director Bristow!? LOL How did I forget that Sloane was in jail? Yeah, I'm dumb. Hah. I actually forgot Nadia was in a coma. Oh geez. I must have been out of it. So Syd's like "we need to save Vaughn!" And new man is like "NO! LET HIM ROT! TELL ME THINGS ABOUT HIM!" And I'm like "somethin's up."
Prophet Five
So. This is where things either go REALLY weird or all of a sudden make a lot of sense. Vaughn's dad was a little genius and working with these people before he became Bill Vaughn and was working for the CIA. Alright. That means, we have to look at every time Vaughn has gone in pursuit of Daddy. It actually kind of makes sense now, doesn't it? I mean... that's why Vaughn would fall into those traps? Because he's known about this stuff for seven years?
No? I don't even know anymore. And the watch! WHAT THE HELL!? Didn't Lauren fuck around with it in season three? Oh what a head ache. What has been going on?
To me, all of this stuff feels an awful lot like Rambaldi, doesn't it? They said some other name, but it still screams Rambaldi. Do you think we'll find out that this other prophet-y fellow was related to or knew Milo? Maybe? That would be interesting. Or perhaps it was an alias for Milo Rambaldi? In which he continued to do his work after being excommunicated from the catholic church? Or a way to hide the information? Do the Order of Rambaldi people know about this? Have I kind of gone off the deep end? Maybe.
SYD & VAUGHN IN CAPE TOWN
Oh.My.Gosh. I love Jen hiding the belly! I love them speaking French to each other and I'm not even a big SV fan. LOL. And them daaaancing! OH MY FREAKIN' GOSH! That warmed my little heart! Weiss was teaching Vaughn to dance?! Weiss knows how to dance? LOL! It was so adorable. It was amazing. *sigh*
And then "admiring the flesh" cracked me up. I wish that chick had been like "I've got some more flesh for you to admire, RIGHT HERE!" but... well she practically did say that. Some people think she's the same blonde chick. I don't. I mean... no, she couldn't be. Anyway very cute scene, I have to say. Syd getting Dixon's help? Classic. I love Dixon. I always have and always will.
It was a really good little scene. We all have to admire it. AND THEN her getting told she's pregnant. Okay... I'm still not all for Spy-Baby. But by the way Jen looks pregnant - they wouldn't have been able to hide it. She's a cute, but big, pregnant lady. LOVE IT. So Syd telling Vaughn? Aww. Really really awww. Um, jumping off the cliff, though, kind of silly. LOL. As usual, fake Alias parachutes.
BLONDE BITCH
Right, um. Who the hell is she? I mean I know who she is because I watched her short lived TV show on FOX. But still. WHAT THE HELL? She's better than Marshall? Oh please bitch. Marshall threw you a bone! LMAO. Come on, chick. Seriously.
A lot of people are saying she's the new Syd, type. Hmmm. Makes sense. Let's just hope she's not a loser. LOL. I really hope the show takes on a new life and brings in a new audience. I really hope that. It would be cool to have something new evolve. But seriously. BETTER THAN MARSHALL!? That makes me sad. LOL
Ya know, I seriously thought the chick was just CIA. But then, well yeah, we learned something of course.
THE SCENE
Oh my gosh! The second I heard the train coming, I knew exactly how it was going to go down. And the angry black man is evil? EVIL MAN! Seriously, it's one of those scenes I can't get my mind around. HOW MANY TIMES was Vaughn shot!? Wow. I have to agree with what a lot of people have been saying, this suddenly made the show so much more realistic. This shit happens.
But when he said he didn't want to bring the baby into this world!? Awww! Oh my God! And then when he said thoughts about meeting this new person!? Ahhh!! I'm sorry, my sister-in-law is pregnant so it's just like a huge double aww all around.
So Vaughn was shot and that othr guy was killed as well. And the guy took the book. Great. That sucks hard core. All of it sucks hard core. Um, I also never liked Vaughn, but still. I dunno. I knew it was coming. It was still shocking.
THE OTHER SCENE
This refers to the hospital room. And the trying to decide names. Seriously. Can you make it any more of a tear jerker. Jack and them all finding out too late that that guy wasn't from Special Investigation or whatever. That he was a ghost and didn't exist. Great. And the whole time, Syd is thinking "couldn't we be more on top of these things, people!?"
So is she going to have a boy or a girl. Were they discussing both kinds of names? Must of have been. Owen. Clementine. Isabell(a?). If it's a boy, obviously that opens Rambaldi doors. If it's a girl, that opens Irina doors. I wonder which way they'll go.
And then Vaughn died. That was so sad. Seriously. And I absolutely love that they showed us the scene with the doctors going on, from Jack's point of view. I thought that was really important. I mean, that's what they did, right? I've only seen the episode once at this point. I figure this post will be revised a few times as people correct me. Um... yeah... Heavy.
THE OTHER OTHER SCENE
Oh my gosh. Just thinking about it is going to make me sad again. I have this theory about the music on the show. They like to use Sarah, don't they? I knew the second the song started that by the end of the scene I'd be bawling. I wasn't bawling, but I was crying. Why? Because I don't know, I realized the fact that this was the second fiance Syd's buried.
Oh wow. And then... Oh there was also Snowman, whom died. And Will who is 'dead'. Wait a second, I'm witnessing a trend. When Sydney has sex with people, they die. Isn't Simon Walker dead as well? Yeah, she needs to have a sign that says: "Sex with me will kill you." Wow.
Something to notice: The casket was closed. Why? Cause Vartan couldn't possibly stand another second on the show? Or because Vaughn isn't dead?
THE END
So now, if I followed things correctly, that chick at the end with the bear claw necklace... she was a mercenary? Her movements tracked with Vaughn's while he was working at APO? That's... interesting. I'm not sure what it really means. Syd is going to enlist her to help her out?
Either way Syd was way cute then. And the whole "you don't know me that well" line was brilliant. I'm just a little confused with all of this. Let's hope things get figured out.
SLOANE'S MOTIVES
At this point, he wants what? He's in prison, looking through books, to help get Nadia out of a coma. Okay. I'm a little tired of the 'Good Sloane', alrighty? I hope he wants out of prison so he can go be crazy. But I'm going to take this opportunity to note some things I think need to be noted:
Why isn't Weiss a total mess? Hmm? Isn't his girlfriend in a coma?
Also, why wasn't Dixon dancing around cause he's hittin' it with Hayden Chase?
I don't know. I want to figure out Sloane's Motives this season. I really do. They always confuse me a lot. I hope we find him conducting himself in bad ways again. I hope he starts to reestablish himself as the evil genius he once was. I smell a reunion. Sloane. Sark. Cole. Be there or be square. LOL. But really, I'd like to see something like that happen.
A MOMENT TO SQUEAL
AHHHH SPYDADDY!!! *dies* HE'S GOING TO BE SPY GRANDPAPPY!!! Oh my gosh! And MARSHALL! His line about how he and Vaughn do lunch!? Oh dear GOD! Not any more, but awwww!! Weiss and Vaughn dancing!? *huge squeal* Sydney's dress!? AHHH! SYD AND VAUGHN DANCING!! EEEEE!!!
I just. Oh so much going on!!! SO MUCH!!! It was so wonderful to see my little peoples again. And it's not even JANUARY! LOL
KEN DIRECTED! He did a good job! I mean not as good as some past episodes, but still good!
THOUGHTS & PREDICTIONS
So the new blonde chick is evil. Or she's working for the evilies and doesn't know it. She seems pretty confident in herself. Bitch. LOL. I'll probably end up loving her, just like I loved Lauren Reed.
And the bear claw chick is bad, but Syd is going to sway her to be good? Or is Syd going bad? Of course she's not. That couldn't happen. Syd's too cute for that.
Balthezar Getty's name was on the credits, so obviously he's going to be awesome. He's one of my favorite lesser known actors. Really, he is. He was in Feast which is the third Project Greenlight Film. Also, the blonde chick? Was in that silly horror movie with Melissa George. LOL connections all around.
I think Dixon needs to have a good role this season. Let's make that happen. I think Spy Daddy is going to be going through some issues with being Spy Grandpappy, just as my dad is going through some issues with being a grandpa. It's natural. So maybe he'll be spending some time with Spy Mommy who will soon be Spy Nanna. Or something cute lol. And if Katya comes around, she'll tell the baby: "Call me Katya." LOL
I also hope to see Sloane go crazy evil. And maybe an episode with Nadia? We can't just leave her in a coma!
And finally. Is. Vaughn. Dead?
A MESSAGE TO THE 'NEGATIVE' FANS
How dare you. How dare you act the way you are with your snide little insults to Jen and blaming things on Ben Affleck. Oh it just disgusts me. It's not like these people RUN the damn show. And then saying JJ's writing sucked? OH LORD. Can you not READ!? JJ didn't write the episode. I don't even want to talk about it. Bottom line. How dare you.
FINAL NOTE
If you're replying to this post, I would love it if you indicated which show you're talking about in the subject of your comment, before you begin talking to me about it. LOL That way I don't get all confused. I mean, if you don't, no big deal, but I'd love it if you did. Thanks so much! [Comments concerning my message to the negative Alias fans will most likely be deleted, as I don't care for flaming.]