Fic, Lost: Repetition Does Not Transform a Lie Into a Truth (Boone/Shannon), PG13
And yours truly is done with another table. Yay! It's not like I'm so really convinced of this one but I'm convinced I'll never have a serious Boone/Shannon bunny even if I tried so I just went with it. And I needed to get away from Kant's politics for a while.
Title: Repetition Does Not Transform a Lie Into a Truth
Rating: PG13 to be way sure (always sorta incest, right?)
Characters/Pairing: Boone/Shannon
Word counting: 540
Disclaimer: If they were mine, he'd be alive and she'd have treated him better.
Spoilers: Up until Do No Harm but really, is that even a spoiler?
Summary: What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.
A/N: for 12_stories #6, truth. And apart from the fact that I'm done with that table I don't think there's really that much to say ;) title found on quotationspage.com. I hope Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt doesn't kill me all over again in the afterlife for the use I made of his line.
What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.
Maybe it isn’t true, maybe he had always known better than her. Maybe he had seen through all the lies she had thrown over him since that night when she refused his money.
And then we’ll just go back to what it was.
That had been just the last one. She can’t really count them now and she doesn’t want to.
She had tried to go back to what it was and look at the result.
She can’t help thinking that if she had been sincere with him just once maybe it wouldn’t have happened. She had been on the verge of doing it once, when he started drifting away; then she hadn’t, and doesn’t she regret it now?
Oh, he had been lying to her, too. That was for sure. Because if he had asked for Shannon while he was dying, then everything he told her that day at the caves had been a lie and she had fallen for it, indeed. Now, that was just ironic, that he managed to cheat her as easily as she had cheated him, and she had fallen for her own trick.
Now Shannon just wishes she could have told him that she hadn’t really meant any of what she had said to him during the last year or so, that she should have never used what she knew he felt for her as the last resource and that she did love him, even if not that way.
She can’t now. He died thinking at best that she hadn’t really cared about him at all; at worst, he probably thought she hated him. Nonetheless, he was asking for her, not for someone else, and she hadn’t been there. She had been on another beach and the night when he died was the one in which she had been happiest since crashing here, and isn’t that ironic?
She never hated him; maybe she convinced herself because then thinking about that night in Sydney would have been much easier, but well, that was just the worst of the lies she had kept telling herself.
She had never loved him the way he loved her, but she had loved him. She just had never admitted it to herself for good because it’s easier to con someone you hate than someone you love. It wasn’t even his fault, it wasn’t like he ever did anything to deserve it except accepting a job and offering to help her out.
She doesn’t want to go inside that cave, she can't bring herself to, but ultimately she does. At this point it isn’t a question of what she wants anymore.
The truth is that he wasn’t God’s friggin’ gift to humanity. He was life’s friggin’ gift to her and she realized it at least one month and a week too late; at least, she should have realized it before knocking on the door of his room in Sydney.
She’s kneeling over him and crying when she tells him she’s sorry, and that’s the first true thing she has said to him since she can’t even remember when. She figures it’s better late than never, even if it will never be enough.
End.
Title: Repetition Does Not Transform a Lie Into a Truth
Rating: PG13 to be way sure (always sorta incest, right?)
Characters/Pairing: Boone/Shannon
Word counting: 540
Disclaimer: If they were mine, he'd be alive and she'd have treated him better.
Spoilers: Up until Do No Harm but really, is that even a spoiler?
Summary: What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.
A/N: for 12_stories #6, truth. And apart from the fact that I'm done with that table I don't think there's really that much to say ;) title found on quotationspage.com. I hope Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt doesn't kill me all over again in the afterlife for the use I made of his line.
What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.
Maybe it isn’t true, maybe he had always known better than her. Maybe he had seen through all the lies she had thrown over him since that night when she refused his money.
And then we’ll just go back to what it was.
That had been just the last one. She can’t really count them now and she doesn’t want to.
She had tried to go back to what it was and look at the result.
She can’t help thinking that if she had been sincere with him just once maybe it wouldn’t have happened. She had been on the verge of doing it once, when he started drifting away; then she hadn’t, and doesn’t she regret it now?
Oh, he had been lying to her, too. That was for sure. Because if he had asked for Shannon while he was dying, then everything he told her that day at the caves had been a lie and she had fallen for it, indeed. Now, that was just ironic, that he managed to cheat her as easily as she had cheated him, and she had fallen for her own trick.
Now Shannon just wishes she could have told him that she hadn’t really meant any of what she had said to him during the last year or so, that she should have never used what she knew he felt for her as the last resource and that she did love him, even if not that way.
She can’t now. He died thinking at best that she hadn’t really cared about him at all; at worst, he probably thought she hated him. Nonetheless, he was asking for her, not for someone else, and she hadn’t been there. She had been on another beach and the night when he died was the one in which she had been happiest since crashing here, and isn’t that ironic?
She never hated him; maybe she convinced herself because then thinking about that night in Sydney would have been much easier, but well, that was just the worst of the lies she had kept telling herself.
She had never loved him the way he loved her, but she had loved him. She just had never admitted it to herself for good because it’s easier to con someone you hate than someone you love. It wasn’t even his fault, it wasn’t like he ever did anything to deserve it except accepting a job and offering to help her out.
She doesn’t want to go inside that cave, she can't bring herself to, but ultimately she does. At this point it isn’t a question of what she wants anymore.
The truth is that he wasn’t God’s friggin’ gift to humanity. He was life’s friggin’ gift to her and she realized it at least one month and a week too late; at least, she should have realized it before knocking on the door of his room in Sydney.
She’s kneeling over him and crying when she tells him she’s sorry, and that’s the first true thing she has said to him since she can’t even remember when. She figures it’s better late than never, even if it will never be enough.
End.