A voicemail I received recently.

[jaredshelb]

What's up, bitch? I know you messin' with my girl. I know who you are. You're tall, blonde, I know you. And your fat friend? Ass. I know him too. I'ma fuck every one of you guys up. I know where you live. You fucking idiot. You work at Wal-Mart. I know you. I KNOW you. Oh, don't think it's one of your friends bitch. No, no, oh no. It'

Comments

[nikhiloberoi]

please don't take offense jared, but i have to know -- are you the fat friend? got any tall blonde friends? or did this guy just call the wrong number? wal-mart??? being a foreigner, i have this perception that every american knows someone else that works at wal-mart. regardless, name-dropping wal-mart in a threat would really scare me.

getting a voice mail like this must be a lot of fun, but the plot line could get a lot better. for instance, if this guy calling you is really the girl's sister, this whole set up would be PERFECT for ricki lake.

i know you know that i could elaborate further, but i wont, because, as you know, when i take it up to the "next level", i'm gonna be all up in that ass to the point where it'll be crazy. fucking crazy.

[arianestella]

OMG I got seven messages in a row from someone named Monica telling me that i wasn't no real woman cause i'd been fucking her man. then her man called all dejected and was like 'how do i know you?' the really scary thing is that monica told me that even if i didn't call her back she'd find me anyways!!

[frannyglass126]

oh, sorry about that, i must've drunk-dialed you the other night.

[missericalynn]

maybe if u stopped "messin' w/ his girl," none of this would have happened. i do not support your immoral decisions.