Bible Review
In spite of my brother Marc's opposition, I decided it would be a good idea to give a very brief summary of each book of the bible as I read them.
1 Genesis: Genesis is the book of the bible that everyone seems to know the most, and for good reason it is probably the most interesting of the early bible all the big names are in there: Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, Seth, Noah, Lot, Jonah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph etc. Even though it is very boring with a lot of begats and ridiculous ages, one guy (Methuselah) living to be 969 years old, it is definitely the most interesting book of the Pentateuch (first five books) with most of the good action stories. It is wholly ridiculous for so many reasons but not too preachy compared to the next several books.
2 Exodus: This is a particularly funny book to me, it centers around the beginning of Moses' life to when the Israelites leave Egypt. It's all well and good until the Egyptians refuse to let them go. At first they refuse to let their slaves go, understandably, so God sends the plagues, after I'd say two or three plagues you would think that the Egyptians would get the hint that the slaves have some sort of divinity on their side, but they don't. Finally after ten freakin' plagues they do... it takes ten, the last one of which is all first born sons of Egypt being mass slaughtered (very compassionate) . So all of the Hebrews being great witness to this leave, cross the red sea, which pharaoh is stupid enough to chase after seeing ten terrible plagues destroy his land by something strong enough to do so.
This is where it really gets funny to me, if anyone didn't believe God was on their side before, Moses parts the red sea after a wall of fire shoots up to prevent the Egyptian pursuers from following them, then destroys a large part of the Egyptian military. Every single Isrealite is witness to this, and they wander across the desert for 40 years somehow, I'm sure it wouldn't take a day to hike from Egypt to Israel, but 40... Anyway, they eventually make it to Mt. Sinai, Moses hikes by himself to the top and talks to God who writes the ten commandments for him, and tells him that Aaron his brother apparently got bored so created a golden calf to worship instead of God. The same God they just saw not so long ago destroy Egypt and part the sea with a wall of fire to protect them.
Again God showing his great compassion has Moses kill 6,000 unfaithful Israelites, not including Aaron whom he later puts in charge of the tabernacle (along with all of his descendants). In spite of this showing horrible morality and great stupidity and insecurity, it is at least much more interesting than the next two books and really even the third to follow.
3 Leviticus:
4 Numbers:
5 Deuteronomy:
6 Joshua:
7 Judges:
8 Ruth:
9 1 Samuel:
10 2 Samuel:
11 1 Kings:
12 2 Kings:
13 1 Chronicles:
14 2 Chronicles:
15 Ezra:
16 Nehemiah:
17 Esther:
18 Job: This book is kind of funny and sad but very different than the others I've read so far. Most people I am sure know the basic story: God and Satan argue about Job a rich and righteous man, and if they deprive him of all that he loves will he keep his faith? Cruelly, they kill all of his children, maim him and otherwise destroy his life. Most of the book is him complaining and his friends telling him he deserves it. Then in the end God telling him what a punk Job is for challenging God's decision and how awesome He is, finally at the very end restoring his wealth and health.
The most interesting things about this to me are: how much sarcasm there is in this book, both from Job and God. The tone just seems so much different and almost more personal than the other books up to this one. Plus I think this is the first book where Satan really appears (I believe the serpent in Genesis was never meant to be Satan). What I find really strange about this book is when it is somehow used as a way to justify ceaseless devotion to God... while I agree it is admirable for Job to remain righteous (though that's debatable) during his misery, it simply makes God look mean and evil for punishing someone unjustly. I realize this is supposed to somewhat explain why the righteous suffer, but to me it is bullshit. I don't know why the Bible can't simply say that randomness happens and that is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Similarly earlier in the Bible every time something bad happened to the Hebrews it was usually some sort of 'punishment'
19 Psalms:
20 Proverbs:
21 Ecclesiastes:
22 Song of Songs:
23 Isaiah:
24 Jeremiah:
25 Lamentations:
26 Ezekiel:
27 Daniel:
28 Hosea:
29 Joel:
30 Amos:
31 Obadiah:
32 Jonah:
33 Micah:
34 Nahum:
35 Habakkuk:
36 Zephaniah
37 Haggai:
38 Zechariah:
39 Malachi:
New Testament
1 Matthew:
2 Mark:
3 Luke:
4 John:
5 Acts:
6 Romans:
7 1 Corinthians:
8 2 Corinthians:
9 Galatians:
10 Ephesians:
11 Philippians:
12 Colossians:
13 1 Thessalonians:
14 2 Thessalonians:
15 1 Timothy:
16 2 Timothy:
17 Titus:
18 Philemon:
19 Hebrews:
20 James:
21 1 Peter:
22 2 Peter:
23 1 John:
24 2 John:
25 3 John:
26 Jude:
27 Revelation:
NB This is the protestant version of the bible, the Roman Catholic church has an additional 7 books which I hope to someday maybe read as well. The Eastern Orthodox churches have another additional 6 books to the RC one (including the same books) for a total of 46 books for the Roman Catholic old testament and 51 books for the Orthodox church... all of the new testament books are the same.
1 Genesis: Genesis is the book of the bible that everyone seems to know the most, and for good reason it is probably the most interesting of the early bible all the big names are in there: Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, Seth, Noah, Lot, Jonah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph etc. Even though it is very boring with a lot of begats and ridiculous ages, one guy (Methuselah) living to be 969 years old, it is definitely the most interesting book of the Pentateuch (first five books) with most of the good action stories. It is wholly ridiculous for so many reasons but not too preachy compared to the next several books.
2 Exodus: This is a particularly funny book to me, it centers around the beginning of Moses' life to when the Israelites leave Egypt. It's all well and good until the Egyptians refuse to let them go. At first they refuse to let their slaves go, understandably, so God sends the plagues, after I'd say two or three plagues you would think that the Egyptians would get the hint that the slaves have some sort of divinity on their side, but they don't. Finally after ten freakin' plagues they do... it takes ten, the last one of which is all first born sons of Egypt being mass slaughtered (very compassionate) . So all of the Hebrews being great witness to this leave, cross the red sea, which pharaoh is stupid enough to chase after seeing ten terrible plagues destroy his land by something strong enough to do so.
This is where it really gets funny to me, if anyone didn't believe God was on their side before, Moses parts the red sea after a wall of fire shoots up to prevent the Egyptian pursuers from following them, then destroys a large part of the Egyptian military. Every single Isrealite is witness to this, and they wander across the desert for 40 years somehow, I'm sure it wouldn't take a day to hike from Egypt to Israel, but 40... Anyway, they eventually make it to Mt. Sinai, Moses hikes by himself to the top and talks to God who writes the ten commandments for him, and tells him that Aaron his brother apparently got bored so created a golden calf to worship instead of God. The same God they just saw not so long ago destroy Egypt and part the sea with a wall of fire to protect them.
Again God showing his great compassion has Moses kill 6,000 unfaithful Israelites, not including Aaron whom he later puts in charge of the tabernacle (along with all of his descendants). In spite of this showing horrible morality and great stupidity and insecurity, it is at least much more interesting than the next two books and really even the third to follow.
3 Leviticus:
4 Numbers:
5 Deuteronomy:
6 Joshua:
7 Judges:
8 Ruth:
9 1 Samuel:
10 2 Samuel:
11 1 Kings:
12 2 Kings:
13 1 Chronicles:
14 2 Chronicles:
15 Ezra:
16 Nehemiah:
17 Esther:
18 Job: This book is kind of funny and sad but very different than the others I've read so far. Most people I am sure know the basic story: God and Satan argue about Job a rich and righteous man, and if they deprive him of all that he loves will he keep his faith? Cruelly, they kill all of his children, maim him and otherwise destroy his life. Most of the book is him complaining and his friends telling him he deserves it. Then in the end God telling him what a punk Job is for challenging God's decision and how awesome He is, finally at the very end restoring his wealth and health.
The most interesting things about this to me are: how much sarcasm there is in this book, both from Job and God. The tone just seems so much different and almost more personal than the other books up to this one. Plus I think this is the first book where Satan really appears (I believe the serpent in Genesis was never meant to be Satan). What I find really strange about this book is when it is somehow used as a way to justify ceaseless devotion to God... while I agree it is admirable for Job to remain righteous (though that's debatable) during his misery, it simply makes God look mean and evil for punishing someone unjustly. I realize this is supposed to somewhat explain why the righteous suffer, but to me it is bullshit. I don't know why the Bible can't simply say that randomness happens and that is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Similarly earlier in the Bible every time something bad happened to the Hebrews it was usually some sort of 'punishment'
19 Psalms:
20 Proverbs:
21 Ecclesiastes:
22 Song of Songs:
23 Isaiah:
24 Jeremiah:
25 Lamentations:
26 Ezekiel:
27 Daniel:
28 Hosea:
29 Joel:
30 Amos:
31 Obadiah:
32 Jonah:
33 Micah:
34 Nahum:
35 Habakkuk:
36 Zephaniah
37 Haggai:
38 Zechariah:
39 Malachi:
New Testament
1 Matthew:
2 Mark:
3 Luke:
4 John:
5 Acts:
6 Romans:
7 1 Corinthians:
8 2 Corinthians:
9 Galatians:
10 Ephesians:
11 Philippians:
12 Colossians:
13 1 Thessalonians:
14 2 Thessalonians:
15 1 Timothy:
16 2 Timothy:
17 Titus:
18 Philemon:
19 Hebrews:
20 James:
21 1 Peter:
22 2 Peter:
23 1 John:
24 2 John:
25 3 John:
26 Jude:
27 Revelation:
NB This is the protestant version of the bible, the Roman Catholic church has an additional 7 books which I hope to someday maybe read as well. The Eastern Orthodox churches have another additional 6 books to the RC one (including the same books) for a total of 46 books for the Roman Catholic old testament and 51 books for the Orthodox church... all of the new testament books are the same.