not much going on in my life. just been working and trying to keep my mind off of the things that depress me. i'm doing a so-so job. the past few days i haven't been too bummed out feeling. but when i read certain things, or hear really sweet songs, i gotta consciously keep myself from crying. i'm such a little baby. :P my computer is broken, no ( Read more... )

i wish i was invisible or never conceived. well, maybe those are both a little drastic. i just have trouble fully understanding anyone, and i always screw up relationships with people because of that. relationships in all senses. i feel like it's time for me to start over somewhere else like every day. somewhere where noone knows me or has any ( Read more... )

i think i'm losing it. it seems that all the things that most people do with ease, takes me at least a full day to think about and motivate myself to do. i know i might be a bit lazy, but i don't think it's a laziness issue. ontop of that is the fact that i don't really understand why people do the things they do. i just want to be happy and not ( Read more... )

they have been working for me now like al green was working for me a few weeks ago ( Read more... )

damn it, i just typed a bunch. and then i clicked something, and it all went away. anyways, nada mooch going on over here. i went out to dinner with me moms. she's all proud of me. i used to be all screwed up, trying to just get rid of everything. i'm all being paid for doing art, doing art for myself and doing music to cheer me up. she's so happy ( Read more... )

just been sitting around this morning, nursing a beer and listening to some music. trying to figure out what to do today. oh wait, tg just called. so i get to go to his place and hang out. it's nice having a good friend that lives downstairs. :) no more sad aphex twin piano music. i'll update this a bit more later ( Read more... )

here i go again on my own. just chilling this fine sunday morning. gonna go up to L.A. today for a shoot at this bar. i guess they need extras to mill around in this bar while people have sex in the background. my ex g/f Emily works for a porn company too, so she said i should come. free drinks for 3 hours, so i think i'm game. i have been trying ( Read more... )

i don't really want to shoot coke every once in a while. i think i'm over all that stuff, for the most part. i have been trying to be a social drinker, with sort of good results. but i dunno, i just want to write music and be all content. carrie is damn cool too ( Read more... )

aw man, it's been extraordinarily long since i've written, my friends. i miss everyone of you all. here's the skinny on my sitch ( Read more... )

Hey hey, long time no write. That's about par for course though. I have been so busy lately. I am working 3 jobs right now, trying to get my medical treatment over before I drop the main one. Been working for Southern Cali, for the guys in Northern Cali. It's been alright. they stilll ask me to do 3 months of work in a week, all the fucking time. ( Read more... )