Sunday night we went to see a play one of A's patients was acting in. It was two short Samuel Beckett plays and they prompted me to learn a little bit more about him
( Read more... )
During the plays, though the woman next to me fell asleep, I was thinking about how at some point in our lives we stop living for ourselves and start living for others. If that's a necessary stage of life required for our own personal growth or not and/or if that might inhibit our personal growth. As well, how difficult it is to make the transition back to living for ourselves. Yet, at that point, it's really more of a compromise. And that's probably the stage of life I'm in. This is an interesting question. It does seem like parenting and then maybe caring for your own parents requires putting your own ambitions on hold at least partially. I think about how some of the parents I know run around shuttling their kids between activities, but I'm not sure that's necessary. Our lives were not that programmed, and we turned out okay. I have been accused by a family member of being "selfish" for not having children. I know myself and I think it would be more selfish for me to have children I wasn't prepared to care for, but not as selfish
( ... )
I think there's an awareness of your place in the world that's almost impossible to reach until you have children. You feel so completely powerless and this thing you're ultimately responsible for could be taken away forever by chance or neglect. And this, at least in me, pushes the idea that profound cooperation and understanding is the only way forward because suddenly the concept of generations comes into focus. There's a world beyond your own life that extends through time into the future when you're long gone and you understand where you came from and what every parent before you has felt. It's crazy, at least to me
( ... )
I think there's an awareness of your place in the world that's almost impossible to reach until you have children. You feel so completely powerless and this thing you're ultimately responsible for could be taken away forever by chance or neglect. And this, at least in me, pushes the idea that profound cooperation and understanding is the only way forward because suddenly the concept of generations comes into focus. There's a world beyond your own life that extends through time into the future when you're long gone and you understand where you came from and what every parent before you has felt. It's crazy, at least to me.
That makes sense. You could have a sense of this, and perhaps even through yourself into living accordingly, but it may always be abstract on some level. I just wish it brought out better (more holistically benevolent) instincts in more people instead of becoming a focus for their entitlement.
But that's so much the default expectation. In many ways, nature pushes this. Nature is robust and doesn't care if you
( ... )
I'm not sure where the entitlement comes from. I'd say that's our society. We're really focused on the individual and when you give that up, maybe we, collectively, think the world owes us something. But, and this is where I think it's funny, it's not that we'll grant that to anyone else but we'll ask it for ourselves. It's why we can't have universal health care; everyone wants it for themselves but no one wants to pay for anyone else.
I joked ruefully that a more perfect design would employ the same failsafe around IQ/common sense of both parents.
Yeah, healthy and crazy seem to be mutually independent variables. Watching parents age only reinforces my belief in this.
Comments 5
Reply
Reply
That makes sense. You could have a sense of this, and perhaps even through yourself into living accordingly, but it may always be abstract on some level. I just wish it brought out better (more holistically benevolent) instincts in more people instead of becoming a focus for their entitlement.
But that's so much the default expectation. In many ways, nature pushes this. Nature is robust and doesn't care if you ( ... )
Reply
I joked ruefully that a more perfect design would employ the same failsafe around IQ/common sense of both parents.
Yeah, healthy and crazy seem to be mutually independent variables. Watching parents age only reinforces my belief in this.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment