It's probably about time I update this. I haven't forgotten about this journal. I check it everyday, actually. Lack of updates actually falls under the category of "Ali has no life
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Ali, Don't judge yourself by a monetary standard-- by having a job or supporting yourself financially. Judge yourself by what you're accomplishing IN SPITE of the challenges you've faced/are facing. You're still drawing. You're still trying to improve and get better. You're not giving up. Those are things to be proud of, and things you should feel good about. The things you're saying about feeling worthless and wanting to spoil Josh are things that I really struggle with, too, concerning Adam. I totally understand where you're coming from. But just because you're not contributing financially doesn't mean you aren't contributing to his quality of life and his well being. Think about the things you're able to do by being home, that you wouldn't be able to do if you were working? anyway, I absolutely get where you're coming from in that regard, even if I am not experiencing the challenges that you're facing to make it that much more complicated. I think you're doing great!
<3! You've always been a tremendous voice of encouragement to me, Amalia. I wish I could show you how much it's appreciated.
I know you're kinda in the same rut as me, so everything you say counts that much more to me.
I'm trying so hard to work on things, to prove I'm not just sitting around. I just wish I had something to show for it, you know? Josh tells me all the time not to worry about it, that things will work out. I guess I'm just impatient for it. I just wanna know that things really will work out. The uncertainty is hard to break through.
I absolutely understand. Adam says the same thing to me, too-- and we really need to listen to our men! I feel the same way about my writing-- that I have to keep writing and working so that I have something to show for myself. But then it turned into writing not being enough. the output isn't enough for me, I want money to show for it, to prove that Adam's faith in me isn't misplaced. But when we do that, we lose sight of the real goal, and the real purpose of art! Self-improvement and voice. It isn't about the money, or the job, or the materialist pieces of the puzzle, it's about the creation and the creativity. Giving birth to something other than ourselves through it
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I'm totally following agents and publishers on blogger for the same reasons you're following Marvel people!! Networking, man! every little bit counts! You never know when that might be the thing that pays out. (shhh! lets pretend I didn't just reference a monetary goal, after that pep talk I just gave you. I can't help it. I know. I'm totally guilty.) but seriously. Right there with you.
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anyway, I absolutely get where you're coming from in that regard, even if I am not experiencing the challenges that you're facing to make it that much more complicated. I think you're doing great!
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I know you're kinda in the same rut as me, so everything you say counts that much more to me.
I'm trying so hard to work on things, to prove I'm not just sitting around. I just wish I had something to show for it, you know? Josh tells me all the time not to worry about it, that things will work out. I guess I'm just impatient for it. I just wanna know that things really will work out. The uncertainty is hard to break through.
Reply
Reply
I'm totally following agents and publishers on blogger for the same reasons you're following Marvel people!! Networking, man! every little bit counts! You never know when that might be the thing that pays out. (shhh! lets pretend I didn't just reference a monetary goal, after that pep talk I just gave you. I can't help it. I know. I'm totally guilty.) but seriously. Right there with you.
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