{Cookie} Delusion
People have often admonished me over what they call my inveterate lying ways.
Lying. Joking, bluffing, subscribing to an "adjusted view of the situation" -- no matter the name you called it by, it implied a certain knowledge that some information is incorrect. Yet the liar (it rhymes so conveniently with "fire") persists in perpetuating the idea.
I'm a complicated person. So are you. And so is pretty much everyone I know. This means that if you asked me why I lied so much (I prefer "misled"), I wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer. In fact, I'd probably try to mislead you again.
I didn't use to be so good at lying. Like all the honest, hopeful masses, I, once, wore my heart on my sleeve. And for what purpose? To be hurt, time and again, when the bareness of my feelings was laid out, and people laughed at them. I got tired of it after a while -- if they wanted to laugh, I would give them something to laugh about.
Can they imagine the emptiness of being restricted -- of feeling like you're unable to do what you want to? And even if you did, it'd give you a kind of guilty pleasure -- because you'd have to lie and say, for the sake of mere surface acceptance, that you hadn't done it, hadn't enjoyed it. This is part of the reason why the forbidden is so delicious. It carries with it the thrill of the unknown - the temptation to lie.
I don't mind that no one takes me seriously. It could confuse people, what I do, but ultimately, no one cares about others aside from themselves, really. All men are islands, our existences punctuated by the intrusion of others into our rotational boundaries. Alien, strange, uncomfortable.
So I joke, I grin, I smile devilishly. One day I might take it further and start lying to myself.
And people laugh, and for a while I can forget the emptiness.
{C: 2345h, 220407}
Kind of short…and somewhat confused. But yeah, it’s a bit sad, but the narrator of this is so very lonely…I’m really bad at lying, so suffice to say this really isn’t my inner mind I’m channeling. XD I’m reading Loveless manga at the moment…and if you know Soubi there, it’s a little like how he is.
Lying. Joking, bluffing, subscribing to an "adjusted view of the situation" -- no matter the name you called it by, it implied a certain knowledge that some information is incorrect. Yet the liar (it rhymes so conveniently with "fire") persists in perpetuating the idea.
I'm a complicated person. So are you. And so is pretty much everyone I know. This means that if you asked me why I lied so much (I prefer "misled"), I wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer. In fact, I'd probably try to mislead you again.
I didn't use to be so good at lying. Like all the honest, hopeful masses, I, once, wore my heart on my sleeve. And for what purpose? To be hurt, time and again, when the bareness of my feelings was laid out, and people laughed at them. I got tired of it after a while -- if they wanted to laugh, I would give them something to laugh about.
Can they imagine the emptiness of being restricted -- of feeling like you're unable to do what you want to? And even if you did, it'd give you a kind of guilty pleasure -- because you'd have to lie and say, for the sake of mere surface acceptance, that you hadn't done it, hadn't enjoyed it. This is part of the reason why the forbidden is so delicious. It carries with it the thrill of the unknown - the temptation to lie.
I don't mind that no one takes me seriously. It could confuse people, what I do, but ultimately, no one cares about others aside from themselves, really. All men are islands, our existences punctuated by the intrusion of others into our rotational boundaries. Alien, strange, uncomfortable.
So I joke, I grin, I smile devilishly. One day I might take it further and start lying to myself.
And people laugh, and for a while I can forget the emptiness.
{C: 2345h, 220407}
Kind of short…and somewhat confused. But yeah, it’s a bit sad, but the narrator of this is so very lonely…I’m really bad at lying, so suffice to say this really isn’t my inner mind I’m channeling. XD I’m reading Loveless manga at the moment…and if you know Soubi there, it’s a little like how he is.