[Fic] it's not meant to be personal
Fandom: James Bond
Characters: James Bond, Q, Eve Moneypenny, Bill Tanner
Pairing: Q/Bond
Rating: G
Warnings: Amnesia/memory loss. Mild spoilers for Skyfall.
Word count: c.1200
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
***
They send him back to MI6 after three days, with no memory of who he is or where he came from or of anyone he knew before. They send him back with a message that he relays bemusedly, with a thousand questions, with one little pill that explains everything.
It's not meant to be personal -- Bond is one of M16's best agents, the most renowned to people who have enough inside information, and his mission sent him straight towards those people. He ran right to them, and they took the opportunity of a lifetime. Simple strategy, taking out one of MI6's most valuable resources, to gain the advantage over them. It's a blow against the organization, against the government, against Britain, even if the majority of the population will never know.
It's not meant to be personal, but that's what it feels like.
Bond doesn't remember his training. He doesn't remember the old M, or the new M, or Vesper, or Tanner, or Q, or Skyfall.
He doesn't remember that his whole life was MI6, and the only people he cares -- cared -- about are there, or dead.
Q is the one that takes Bond to his apartment the day he gets back, tells him where everything is and how to contact MI6 if there's an emergency. He plucks a post-it note with his handwriting off the fridge and shoves one of the cardigans he'd lying on the couch the week before into his bag before Bond can notice, but he misses the bright blue tie that's peeking out from under the bed. Bond will find it that night when he gets up for a glass of water because he can't sleep and wonder why he has a tie that doesn't match with any of the suits he finds in the wardrobe, but he won't make the connection for another month, when Q unthinkingly reaches out to touch his arm, but snatches his hand back with a haunted look in his eyes.
Tanner meets him when he gets back to HQ. "M sent Moneypenny to do that. It's not your job."
"I know," Q says evenly, but he doesn't meet Tanner's eyes. Their relationship hadn't been public, exactly, but Bond was never particularly subtle when it came to relationships, and Q knows that Tanner isn't blind enough to have missed what all the Q branch graduates gossip about, and M certainly hasn't.
Officially, Eve is Bond's handler, of sorts. She's the one that looks over what he's doing, directs his training. MI6 really is all he has, even now. There's no family to go home to, no friends outside of MI6. He's agreed to go through training again, and the doctors and scientists in charge of analysing the pill sent back with Bond think it might help bring back some of his memories.
The truth is, though, they really have no idea. Q's been checking the records every day for updates, he's read all the reports and looked over all the test results. Bond is in perfect health, but there's no sign of any returning memories, and no way of knowing how to fix that.
Q stays on the borders. He doesn't speak directly to Bond except for that first day, but he can't stop himself from hovering, from peeking into Bond's training sessions. Eve doesn't tell him to leave, but he never goes in. He watches the surveillance feed, has it running while he works on whatever gadget the next double-oh needs, and it's not a surprise that the others don't lose or destroy his equipment nearly as often as Bond did.
It's his choice to leave Bond in the dark about them. Q hasn't been just Bond's quartermaster for some time now, but it's not enough to get Q to tell him everything. There's no point in confusing Bond more than he already is. Being a spy for MI6 was enough to take in, he doesn't need Q added to the mix, not when Q himself is really even sure what they were.
Eve gives him a look when he tells her this, but she doesn't comment on it, only tells him to come by the shooting range later that afternoon. Q's read Bond's schedule; it's his first shooting lesson.
"Don't skimp out and watch on the cameras," Eve warns him. "I'll just come and get you."
Q nods, because he gets the feeling that Eve would have no qualms about forcibly dragging him away from his monitors and to the range, and it's not worth the humiliation.
When he gets there, a few of the graduates try and sneak by to watch, but Q sends them a glare and they scurry away, no doubt to crowd around the security feed. To be honest, Q can't really blame them.
Bond has his gun in his hand, his Walther PPK/S 9mm, weighing it, considering it. Eve shows him the best way to aim, and when he flips the safety off, and a strange expression flashes across his face, like he's surprised about how natural the action feels.
He shoots, and for a split second, Q can see the old Bond, but his expression quickly changes back to something with too much hesitance and not enough confidence to be him.
Q looks at the ground and turns to leave, but the door opens, and suddenly Eve is gone and Bond is standing next to him.
"Q," Bond says, and Q hates how much it reminds him of their first meeting.
"007," Q replies. "We met the other day."
"I know," Bond says, looking faintly amused. He looks Q up and down -- but briefly, not the lingering looks that Q had grown accustomed to getting from him -- and comments, "Miss Moneypenny talks about you a lot. You're quite young for your job, aren't you?" He says it with a tinge of disbelief, but mostly curiosity; none of the sharp doubt and condescension that Q's always countered with his own barbs, which only led to falling into a natural pattern with Bond, one that worked better than he'd ever thought it would.
Q wonders what Eve has said about him, and wonders if Bond is feeling the weariness in his bones that he always used to ignore. "I hear that a lot. I'm older than I look." He pauses. "You said that before too, when we first met."
"Do we know each other? I mean, Miss Monneypenny talks like we were...friends?"
Q's not even sure what they were.
"The first mission I worked with you," Q says, "I almost got you hit by a train, and you lost all my expensive equipment. I think that evened us out."
He's not sure if he can do this.
"I broke a great number of rules and protocols aiding in you in what was technically the kidnapping of the head of MI6," he continues.
"I'm sorry?" Bond offers, sounding cautious and a little confused.
He can't.
"It's alright," Q says, nods, and walks away. He doesn't turn back to look at Bond. "We were friends."
Characters: James Bond, Q, Eve Moneypenny, Bill Tanner
Pairing: Q/Bond
Rating: G
Warnings: Amnesia/memory loss. Mild spoilers for Skyfall.
Word count: c.1200
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
***
They send him back to MI6 after three days, with no memory of who he is or where he came from or of anyone he knew before. They send him back with a message that he relays bemusedly, with a thousand questions, with one little pill that explains everything.
It's not meant to be personal -- Bond is one of M16's best agents, the most renowned to people who have enough inside information, and his mission sent him straight towards those people. He ran right to them, and they took the opportunity of a lifetime. Simple strategy, taking out one of MI6's most valuable resources, to gain the advantage over them. It's a blow against the organization, against the government, against Britain, even if the majority of the population will never know.
It's not meant to be personal, but that's what it feels like.
Bond doesn't remember his training. He doesn't remember the old M, or the new M, or Vesper, or Tanner, or Q, or Skyfall.
He doesn't remember that his whole life was MI6, and the only people he cares -- cared -- about are there, or dead.
Q is the one that takes Bond to his apartment the day he gets back, tells him where everything is and how to contact MI6 if there's an emergency. He plucks a post-it note with his handwriting off the fridge and shoves one of the cardigans he'd lying on the couch the week before into his bag before Bond can notice, but he misses the bright blue tie that's peeking out from under the bed. Bond will find it that night when he gets up for a glass of water because he can't sleep and wonder why he has a tie that doesn't match with any of the suits he finds in the wardrobe, but he won't make the connection for another month, when Q unthinkingly reaches out to touch his arm, but snatches his hand back with a haunted look in his eyes.
Tanner meets him when he gets back to HQ. "M sent Moneypenny to do that. It's not your job."
"I know," Q says evenly, but he doesn't meet Tanner's eyes. Their relationship hadn't been public, exactly, but Bond was never particularly subtle when it came to relationships, and Q knows that Tanner isn't blind enough to have missed what all the Q branch graduates gossip about, and M certainly hasn't.
Officially, Eve is Bond's handler, of sorts. She's the one that looks over what he's doing, directs his training. MI6 really is all he has, even now. There's no family to go home to, no friends outside of MI6. He's agreed to go through training again, and the doctors and scientists in charge of analysing the pill sent back with Bond think it might help bring back some of his memories.
The truth is, though, they really have no idea. Q's been checking the records every day for updates, he's read all the reports and looked over all the test results. Bond is in perfect health, but there's no sign of any returning memories, and no way of knowing how to fix that.
Q stays on the borders. He doesn't speak directly to Bond except for that first day, but he can't stop himself from hovering, from peeking into Bond's training sessions. Eve doesn't tell him to leave, but he never goes in. He watches the surveillance feed, has it running while he works on whatever gadget the next double-oh needs, and it's not a surprise that the others don't lose or destroy his equipment nearly as often as Bond did.
It's his choice to leave Bond in the dark about them. Q hasn't been just Bond's quartermaster for some time now, but it's not enough to get Q to tell him everything. There's no point in confusing Bond more than he already is. Being a spy for MI6 was enough to take in, he doesn't need Q added to the mix, not when Q himself is really even sure what they were.
Eve gives him a look when he tells her this, but she doesn't comment on it, only tells him to come by the shooting range later that afternoon. Q's read Bond's schedule; it's his first shooting lesson.
"Don't skimp out and watch on the cameras," Eve warns him. "I'll just come and get you."
Q nods, because he gets the feeling that Eve would have no qualms about forcibly dragging him away from his monitors and to the range, and it's not worth the humiliation.
When he gets there, a few of the graduates try and sneak by to watch, but Q sends them a glare and they scurry away, no doubt to crowd around the security feed. To be honest, Q can't really blame them.
Bond has his gun in his hand, his Walther PPK/S 9mm, weighing it, considering it. Eve shows him the best way to aim, and when he flips the safety off, and a strange expression flashes across his face, like he's surprised about how natural the action feels.
He shoots, and for a split second, Q can see the old Bond, but his expression quickly changes back to something with too much hesitance and not enough confidence to be him.
Q looks at the ground and turns to leave, but the door opens, and suddenly Eve is gone and Bond is standing next to him.
"Q," Bond says, and Q hates how much it reminds him of their first meeting.
"007," Q replies. "We met the other day."
"I know," Bond says, looking faintly amused. He looks Q up and down -- but briefly, not the lingering looks that Q had grown accustomed to getting from him -- and comments, "Miss Moneypenny talks about you a lot. You're quite young for your job, aren't you?" He says it with a tinge of disbelief, but mostly curiosity; none of the sharp doubt and condescension that Q's always countered with his own barbs, which only led to falling into a natural pattern with Bond, one that worked better than he'd ever thought it would.
Q wonders what Eve has said about him, and wonders if Bond is feeling the weariness in his bones that he always used to ignore. "I hear that a lot. I'm older than I look." He pauses. "You said that before too, when we first met."
"Do we know each other? I mean, Miss Monneypenny talks like we were...friends?"
Q's not even sure what they were.
"The first mission I worked with you," Q says, "I almost got you hit by a train, and you lost all my expensive equipment. I think that evened us out."
He's not sure if he can do this.
"I broke a great number of rules and protocols aiding in you in what was technically the kidnapping of the head of MI6," he continues.
"I'm sorry?" Bond offers, sounding cautious and a little confused.
He can't.
"It's alright," Q says, nods, and walks away. He doesn't turn back to look at Bond. "We were friends."