(no subject)
Hiya, a new day
This is for everyone and Nyx, Cats, and Jedi to read *notes in there for you guys*
Got my department area in the back room COMPLETED!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH!! Jeez. I asked for help because I was getting overwhelmed with stuff people are dumping in my bins and I didn't see them and stuff grrrr lol IT's all organized and finished *sighing in content*
Today I have been in a pissy mood all day just thinking about Nyx and what he said last night on AIM and stuff that caused me to cuss my head off and going gangster like bitch and stuff. :/ anyways I want to type on here to explain from the start to finish WITHOUT interruption (e.e at Nyx....) Listen carefully and if you got questions.. be very specific in your questions and ask.
Happiness... My name is Erica. I have an inner child and she does not crave for attention. Let me explain. Inside me I am at bliss for who I am IE: being deaf, having natural white hair which I was born with, unique face structures, etc. Okay there are some ugly stuff about me that I hate about of myself therefore I am not happy with myself. Whoever I marry or am in a relationship with, they make me happy and of course like everyone which it is all human!! is to be upset or dissapointed. For example, the lover is driving and braked at last second for no reason and upsets his partner. It is not the kind of thing to have a life tramantic emotional blow out like "GRAHHHH I'M GOING TO PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD I don't make you happy I suck fuckass !!"
People, places, and things etc do make me happy. When I seem upset or moody it is NOT anyone's fault but mine because I brought it upon myself and I have to deal with it. I can talk about it with whoever wants to listen to me but I do not appreciate it that someone tells me "oh phhhfft stop being obessed" or "you are cute but you have a low self esteem" Well.... guess what... I can't work on my self esteem if that was brought up because it is like a slap in my face.
If you don't understand then just accept it and continue to love me and be there for me as a friend. I am not asking you to understand and be a fuckass about it. Men are not suppose to understand women and women are not suppose to understand men lol. I on the other hand do understand men a bit more than what they think. I understand they are shy and doesn't want to make first moves because they want to be on the same page as the woman. Today's century is that women and men are pretty much doing the first moves.
Which this brings onto a new topic... I hate one side friendship. I believe in 50/50 That is why I am not talking as much as I used to, I don't comment as much anymore because I feel that I am not cared for. I have a myspace and I would ask alot of people I know to be friends with me but I rather see if they REALLY like me or not regarding on their contacting status and asking for friendship. I just hate to be a burden. People of my LJ list, If you don't feel comfortable with me or appreciate me, please remove yourself from my list and I will do the same. I do not enjoy people who puts me down *glares at some people unmentioned*
Please for god's sake, stop being a big egoist and start to talk to me. Once you talk to me in good tone and not putting yourself down or me down then we all get along just great. I will be a blunt person. If I am not comfortable with something or feel upset about something. I will say so. If you get mad and throw a fit. I'm gone. I am not going to deal with babies that will not listen and understand to a point about what I am going through. I need alot of postive people in my life and alot alot alot of laughters.
Laughing brings happiness to me naturally. I had alot of laughs at work with Jeremy * a dept manager of pets* he is so funny and learning sign language. I am very easy going and very sweet and happy when I am around people who appreciates me and talks to me. I got a comment from Kami on myspace and that made me feel good because she is thinking of me and enjoys my friendship.
I have sucked it up when people told me that I have low self esteem or whatever but... understand this... do not paint it in your head and stick to it that I am a monster because once you have it implanted in your head that I am horrible and "too emotional" and stuff then you are the one that has a problem because you are not giving me a chance or getting to know me. Jedi I am still the same sweet vixen whose a great dance partner. I don't know why you decide to image me as this horrible person. Cats, We used to talk alot but you have lately been feeling down because you don't have a partner and I talk to you about happy stuff but you overlook that and let the negative weight you down therefore we are not talking much as we used to. Nyx, you are so self negative and full of sucidial talks like putting a bullet to your head or ripping your throat out and stuff. I want you to think back to your girlfriends like Abby that is a cutter and sucidial. How you felt and hated to deal with it daily and how it was stressful. Now you are doing it to ME and I am not very fond of this right now. I really really want you to be my best friend and talking like we used to you are very very nice person and funny person. very hot indeed. I apologize for name callings, I am just so pissed off when you interrupt me and not listen to me or let me finish what I am saying to the point. I can not talk to you right now when you are being a biggot asshole that ignores me and talk to other people and not appreciate me. I can't heal , you can't heal when you hold a grudge to everything. You need to forgive me as I to you and MOVE ON God.. I am just so upset at you for throwing things in my face over and over and over and OVER. I am at this point that I am going to talk to your family about your "talks" of sucidial stuff because I am VERY concerned. You keep on talking about it alot and self harming yourself. If you were here in person and we talked it'll be all alright and you will feel alot better and not even feel like this crap pile of dung. Since we are unreacable, I have no choice because you won't talk or listen, I am going to go to the next step to save your life and keep you from hurting yourself (i am having a dejuva....o.o )
*sighs*
If anyone have myspace go to http://www.myspace.com/flowervixen
I'm making new friends with my neighbors and getting alot of hugs and kisses from them literally on my cheek and stuff. Very friendly people they are and it makes me feel warm and I get little notes from them now and then saying "hi how are you doing!? with love *names*" They are so sweet :D
Alright, End of this ! *poofs for the night*
This is for everyone and Nyx, Cats, and Jedi to read *notes in there for you guys*
Got my department area in the back room COMPLETED!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH!! Jeez. I asked for help because I was getting overwhelmed with stuff people are dumping in my bins and I didn't see them and stuff grrrr lol IT's all organized and finished *sighing in content*
Today I have been in a pissy mood all day just thinking about Nyx and what he said last night on AIM and stuff that caused me to cuss my head off and going gangster like bitch and stuff. :/ anyways I want to type on here to explain from the start to finish WITHOUT interruption (e.e at Nyx....) Listen carefully and if you got questions.. be very specific in your questions and ask.
Happiness... My name is Erica. I have an inner child and she does not crave for attention. Let me explain. Inside me I am at bliss for who I am IE: being deaf, having natural white hair which I was born with, unique face structures, etc. Okay there are some ugly stuff about me that I hate about of myself therefore I am not happy with myself. Whoever I marry or am in a relationship with, they make me happy and of course like everyone which it is all human!! is to be upset or dissapointed. For example, the lover is driving and braked at last second for no reason and upsets his partner. It is not the kind of thing to have a life tramantic emotional blow out like "GRAHHHH I'M GOING TO PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD I don't make you happy I suck fuckass !!"
People, places, and things etc do make me happy. When I seem upset or moody it is NOT anyone's fault but mine because I brought it upon myself and I have to deal with it. I can talk about it with whoever wants to listen to me but I do not appreciate it that someone tells me "oh phhhfft stop being obessed" or "you are cute but you have a low self esteem" Well.... guess what... I can't work on my self esteem if that was brought up because it is like a slap in my face.
If you don't understand then just accept it and continue to love me and be there for me as a friend. I am not asking you to understand and be a fuckass about it. Men are not suppose to understand women and women are not suppose to understand men lol. I on the other hand do understand men a bit more than what they think. I understand they are shy and doesn't want to make first moves because they want to be on the same page as the woman. Today's century is that women and men are pretty much doing the first moves.
Which this brings onto a new topic... I hate one side friendship. I believe in 50/50 That is why I am not talking as much as I used to, I don't comment as much anymore because I feel that I am not cared for. I have a myspace and I would ask alot of people I know to be friends with me but I rather see if they REALLY like me or not regarding on their contacting status and asking for friendship. I just hate to be a burden. People of my LJ list, If you don't feel comfortable with me or appreciate me, please remove yourself from my list and I will do the same. I do not enjoy people who puts me down *glares at some people unmentioned*
Please for god's sake, stop being a big egoist and start to talk to me. Once you talk to me in good tone and not putting yourself down or me down then we all get along just great. I will be a blunt person. If I am not comfortable with something or feel upset about something. I will say so. If you get mad and throw a fit. I'm gone. I am not going to deal with babies that will not listen and understand to a point about what I am going through. I need alot of postive people in my life and alot alot alot of laughters.
Laughing brings happiness to me naturally. I had alot of laughs at work with Jeremy * a dept manager of pets* he is so funny and learning sign language. I am very easy going and very sweet and happy when I am around people who appreciates me and talks to me. I got a comment from Kami on myspace and that made me feel good because she is thinking of me and enjoys my friendship.
I have sucked it up when people told me that I have low self esteem or whatever but... understand this... do not paint it in your head and stick to it that I am a monster because once you have it implanted in your head that I am horrible and "too emotional" and stuff then you are the one that has a problem because you are not giving me a chance or getting to know me. Jedi I am still the same sweet vixen whose a great dance partner. I don't know why you decide to image me as this horrible person. Cats, We used to talk alot but you have lately been feeling down because you don't have a partner and I talk to you about happy stuff but you overlook that and let the negative weight you down therefore we are not talking much as we used to. Nyx, you are so self negative and full of sucidial talks like putting a bullet to your head or ripping your throat out and stuff. I want you to think back to your girlfriends like Abby that is a cutter and sucidial. How you felt and hated to deal with it daily and how it was stressful. Now you are doing it to ME and I am not very fond of this right now. I really really want you to be my best friend and talking like we used to you are very very nice person and funny person. very hot indeed. I apologize for name callings, I am just so pissed off when you interrupt me and not listen to me or let me finish what I am saying to the point. I can not talk to you right now when you are being a biggot asshole that ignores me and talk to other people and not appreciate me. I can't heal , you can't heal when you hold a grudge to everything. You need to forgive me as I to you and MOVE ON God.. I am just so upset at you for throwing things in my face over and over and over and OVER. I am at this point that I am going to talk to your family about your "talks" of sucidial stuff because I am VERY concerned. You keep on talking about it alot and self harming yourself. If you were here in person and we talked it'll be all alright and you will feel alot better and not even feel like this crap pile of dung. Since we are unreacable, I have no choice because you won't talk or listen, I am going to go to the next step to save your life and keep you from hurting yourself (i am having a dejuva....o.o )
*sighs*
If anyone have myspace go to http://www.myspace.com/flowervixen
I'm making new friends with my neighbors and getting alot of hugs and kisses from them literally on my cheek and stuff. Very friendly people they are and it makes me feel warm and I get little notes from them now and then saying "hi how are you doing!? with love *names*" They are so sweet :D
Alright, End of this ! *poofs for the night*