Am I so lost / As cannot see the light / To be held / Bereft / And dropped out of sight

[jazzkiller]

I feel thin, worn, and useless. I watch people grow in their obsessions, making their hopes/imaginations the end all and be all of existance. The tension grows and I wonder... why am I still here? 'Cause Lord knows I'm not so intense, so singular.

So why am I still here? In this fandom.
Why should I bother?

*sighs*

Comments

[sharona1x2]

*hugs* You have a good life outside of any fandom. Be happy with that, and don't worry yourself over the rest. It's what I'm learning to do, and I'm happier for it.

[jazzkiller]

I have a great life outside of the fandoms. And I am happy with it... but those friends I've made in the fandom... I can't say anything here... -_- I'll just say it is worrisome.

[sharona1x2]

My experience is that sometimes it's just better to walk away and ignore everything. ^_^

[jazzkiller]

Very difficult. I hate being out of the loop. My parents' fault. They never told me anything as a child, it grew. Worst was when they didn't tell me anything was wrong with my uncle til he was dead. *snorts* A psychosis, I fear. Anyway, I'll try... *smiles snuggles* Luv you, doll. And thanks.

[blueluthien]

Oh my, I feel that way so many times...
So empty. So alone. And useless.

I do.

But I guess, I try to fight that horrible feeling, by remind myself that there are good things to look forward...

There are.

We just need to have faith.

It is much easier said than done. I know.

But I want to believe it.

Believe it too, sweetie.

I am here for you, if you need me.

Much Love Ana*

[jazzkiller]

I have faith in the fandom itself, but some of its people are starting to worry me, Ana. It stresses me out and drains me of energy... especially when people get so partial and caught up in something that they "can't see past the end of their noses". It's painful to bare witness to. -_- And I feel lost anymore because of it.