Time for full class participation...
So I'm in Acting this semester. First "project" if you will is a duet scene. Well, I'm one of those kinds that finds typing my lines/scenes helps me memorize it - so right down here below the cut is my duet scene...
Barbie and Ken
I'm going to give you all a lot of credit (tee hee) and assume that you'll be able to tell who's who. I don't need to type the character names 300 times to memorize them...
Barbie and Ken
Barbie!
Ken.
I would have been here sooner but it took a long time to find a safe spot to park my Ken Kar with retractable roof and honk a horn that really works!
I know you love your Ken Kar, Ken.
I’ll say! Boy - best thing we ever did was trade in that old Barbie Beach buggie.
So you keep telling me.
Besides, I fit better behind the wheel.
You’re not the only one who fits, Ken.
Now dear, I can drive you everywhere.
I know, Ken. You even drive me up the wall.
I don’t mind, honest. So long as I’m not busy changing outfits.
Of course
The nurse said I could only stay a few minutes. Gosh but I’ve missed you. Our neighbors have missed you. There are piles of dishes and washing and ironing waiting for you to come home to! (beat) And I’ve been telling everybody about our little Midge.
I can tell you’re a proud Papa already.
I’m proud of my Barbie, that’s for sure. Here, I brought you some new hair! And some Malibu pills. And, best of all, guess what I bought today!?
I don’t know, Ken.
Come on. Just take a guess.
Ken, I’ve just delivered a doll. I’m tired and besides...
Okay, honey. Are you ready for this? I bought a Barbie & Ken Kamper! We’ll be able to get away and experience nature - just the three of us: you , me, and... Say, where is my little Midge anyway?
She’s resting in her box, Ken
Golly won’t it be fun when she sees Pretty Pony Palomino.
And more fun when she gets to muck out all those Pretty Pony Palomino road apples.
Jeepers. I hope I get to see her soon. I’ve been handing out chocolate cigars to everyone I meet - I’m just about out of stock!
Ken, I think there’s something I should discuss with you before we go any further...
What is it, my Bendable Barbie? You look worried.
It’s about Midge.
What about our little Midget?
Now, Ken, I don’t want you to get upset. You know if you get so much as a slight temperature, you start to melt.
I know, I know. Now what about Midge?
Promise you won’t get mad?
Promise. Now tell me.
Well, she’s different, that’s all.
Different? What do you mean she’s different? What’s wrong with her!?
Nothing’s wrong with her. It’s just... well...
Barbie, we’ve never had any secrets between us. Now out with it.
Well...
I’m going to start dripping in a minute!
She’s made in Japan!
Oh, Mattel! How could this happen!?
There’s nothing wrong with her. She was just imported, that’s all.
It was him, wasn’t it1? It was that G.I. Joe, wasn’t it!??
No, Ken it wasn’t. You’re just making that up.
‘Fighting man from head to toe’ - my foot! Well that’s it - I’m returning the Kamper - and the special Barbie Fashion Boutique; that was going to be your surprise - not any more, boy!!
Oh, Ken. Don’t be angry. Remember your passive-aggressive stress-management exercises.
Ha! No wonder you wanted me to sign up for all those classes! I bet that’s when you were busy entertaining the troops.
That’s not true! Midge belongs to us!
To you! Not to us! I’m not having anything to do with her!
Ken! How can you say that?
No doll of mine comes from Japan! If I’m going to have a doll, she’s going to be just like me! Not one of those... those... yuck, I feel sick just thinking about it!
Ken, control yourself. Why don’t you go have a pretend cup of coffee and try to cool down a bit?
There’s nothing to cool down about! She’s made in Japan and that’s that! Oh, Hasbro. I need a pretend whiskey!
Oh, just go have a time out and light up your butt. You’ll feel differently in the morning, I know you will.
No I won’t! G.I. Joe - oh this is sick! To think, I was going to get my plastic hair re-painted Barbie Blond just for you! I’m getting out of here. That’s it, Barbie! That’s the last straw! We’re finished! I’m moving out! And that little mutant Midget won’t get a plastic penny of my seersucker polyester Ken Pants either!
But where will you go?
Tonka Toys’ll take me - I’ll go there. Oh this is sick!
Oh, ever since our Skipper ran off with that Kommander Karl Kung-Fu doll, he just hasn’t been the same.
Ok boys and girls - wasn't that fun?!?!
Barbie and Ken
I'm going to give you all a lot of credit (tee hee) and assume that you'll be able to tell who's who. I don't need to type the character names 300 times to memorize them...
Barbie and Ken
Barbie!
Ken.
I would have been here sooner but it took a long time to find a safe spot to park my Ken Kar with retractable roof and honk a horn that really works!
I know you love your Ken Kar, Ken.
I’ll say! Boy - best thing we ever did was trade in that old Barbie Beach buggie.
So you keep telling me.
Besides, I fit better behind the wheel.
You’re not the only one who fits, Ken.
Now dear, I can drive you everywhere.
I know, Ken. You even drive me up the wall.
I don’t mind, honest. So long as I’m not busy changing outfits.
Of course
The nurse said I could only stay a few minutes. Gosh but I’ve missed you. Our neighbors have missed you. There are piles of dishes and washing and ironing waiting for you to come home to! (beat) And I’ve been telling everybody about our little Midge.
I can tell you’re a proud Papa already.
I’m proud of my Barbie, that’s for sure. Here, I brought you some new hair! And some Malibu pills. And, best of all, guess what I bought today!?
I don’t know, Ken.
Come on. Just take a guess.
Ken, I’ve just delivered a doll. I’m tired and besides...
Okay, honey. Are you ready for this? I bought a Barbie & Ken Kamper! We’ll be able to get away and experience nature - just the three of us: you , me, and... Say, where is my little Midge anyway?
She’s resting in her box, Ken
Golly won’t it be fun when she sees Pretty Pony Palomino.
And more fun when she gets to muck out all those Pretty Pony Palomino road apples.
Jeepers. I hope I get to see her soon. I’ve been handing out chocolate cigars to everyone I meet - I’m just about out of stock!
Ken, I think there’s something I should discuss with you before we go any further...
What is it, my Bendable Barbie? You look worried.
It’s about Midge.
What about our little Midget?
Now, Ken, I don’t want you to get upset. You know if you get so much as a slight temperature, you start to melt.
I know, I know. Now what about Midge?
Promise you won’t get mad?
Promise. Now tell me.
Well, she’s different, that’s all.
Different? What do you mean she’s different? What’s wrong with her!?
Nothing’s wrong with her. It’s just... well...
Barbie, we’ve never had any secrets between us. Now out with it.
Well...
I’m going to start dripping in a minute!
She’s made in Japan!
Oh, Mattel! How could this happen!?
There’s nothing wrong with her. She was just imported, that’s all.
It was him, wasn’t it1? It was that G.I. Joe, wasn’t it!??
No, Ken it wasn’t. You’re just making that up.
‘Fighting man from head to toe’ - my foot! Well that’s it - I’m returning the Kamper - and the special Barbie Fashion Boutique; that was going to be your surprise - not any more, boy!!
Oh, Ken. Don’t be angry. Remember your passive-aggressive stress-management exercises.
Ha! No wonder you wanted me to sign up for all those classes! I bet that’s when you were busy entertaining the troops.
That’s not true! Midge belongs to us!
To you! Not to us! I’m not having anything to do with her!
Ken! How can you say that?
No doll of mine comes from Japan! If I’m going to have a doll, she’s going to be just like me! Not one of those... those... yuck, I feel sick just thinking about it!
Ken, control yourself. Why don’t you go have a pretend cup of coffee and try to cool down a bit?
There’s nothing to cool down about! She’s made in Japan and that’s that! Oh, Hasbro. I need a pretend whiskey!
Oh, just go have a time out and light up your butt. You’ll feel differently in the morning, I know you will.
No I won’t! G.I. Joe - oh this is sick! To think, I was going to get my plastic hair re-painted Barbie Blond just for you! I’m getting out of here. That’s it, Barbie! That’s the last straw! We’re finished! I’m moving out! And that little mutant Midget won’t get a plastic penny of my seersucker polyester Ken Pants either!
But where will you go?
Tonka Toys’ll take me - I’ll go there. Oh this is sick!
Oh, ever since our Skipper ran off with that Kommander Karl Kung-Fu doll, he just hasn’t been the same.
Ok boys and girls - wasn't that fun?!?!