expectations

[jbberish]

Zen Cha tea salon is one of my favorite spots in the city. It is always

Comments

[hilmarie]

this is COMPLETELY unrelated to your post, but what do you do when you get jealous? i mean, to get better about it?

you're in for a long answer. . . .

[jbberish]

Gosh, jealousy. . .it's a hard question, and I have changed in my thinking about it over the last 10 years or so since I've been consciously engaging in poly relationships. I'll try to be simple. Jealousy, to me, is a symptom of something else -- a "secondary" emotion as it were. I've discovered that for me, many of my negative or destructive traits/emotions are a reaction to fear. I used to say fear or anger, but even under the anger there's fear. So jealousy is a sign, a big flag waving in the wind from my unconscious trying to alert my consciousness that something big is going on here. If I'm aware of that and accept it, I can hope to understand it. I'm more successful when I don't subsequently attach that negativity/anxiety to other people or situations, and remember that it has more to do with ME than anyone else. Jealousy can be a bright shiny lure for me as well, if someone is flaunting it, all I can try to do is recognize it for what it is and not take the bait