On too many influences
Moved to the top of entry: This week is E3 it's the biggest day in contemporary gaming (or it used to be) and no matter what for the next four days I'm going nowhere but in front of my computer to watch the press conferences stream. Later tonight I'll hook up my external harddrive and catch up on some manga maybe finish Old Boy or something.
it's getting so I don't want to answer my phone anymore. every conversation with my family is the same. If you're 12 or younger you're calling me to come over. you're also calling me every week day and up to 7 times if I don't answer. If you're older you're calling to find out what i'm doing. it may seem like variety but it's not. You're calling to give me a list of events to do in Toronto or to find out when I'm going to finish up school or if I have a job or how's the tutoring going and why i'm not starting it now.
The third type of calls i get is from my sister who is here. These are the favor calls. These are the 2nd type to eat up my time. I starting going to Bible Study as a proxy for her. Suddenly I've become indispensable. Now my time is down on Sunday and Wednesday.
Everyone who calls me thinks I don't think about what I do. On the contrary all I do is think about what I'm doing. It's just noone besides me has the complete picture. I've started to wonder if I'm really that likeable or if I just have a really good reputation. I've been in Toronto since the fall. I live with my sister and I don't go anywhere. Intentionally because I don't really have funds to go out. Yes still I've somehow made 4 friends all of whom I haven't seen in a month. So while I'm sure I'd like to sit at home and not wear out the car that's on it's last legs. I have people who expect to see me. People who (for various reasons) i need to see. These aren't always my reasons but they are reasons and I have to account for them.
I'm very very seriously considering lying. Telling the truth is simple and in theory if I'm telling everyone the truth of every question they ask me, the plan is when I say "I'm fine" or "I don't care" i don't have to hear "Are you sure?". I started this almost two years ago now when she moved back home but it hasn't really worked. I just get lectures from Person A on why I should ignore person B, and then lectures from Person C on why I can't ignore Person B and why I need to ignore Person D who is telling me to ignore Person A.
Anyway I'm sorry to write entries just to complain but making time for Persons A, B, C and D means that I haven't had time to read anything for 2 weeks. the only time I've had lately to do anything is after 8 and at that point there's not much to do. Too tired out to read my e-mail, my blogs, my forums, my LJ, facebook, myspace those things all require a good chunk of time and as backed up as I am i keep needing more and more time. Not to mention I was offline entirely for the past 4 days. I've missed so many sweet craigslist deals. Too late now though. It's not even the first week of July and i'm tapped out of funds for three weeks.
it's getting so I don't want to answer my phone anymore. every conversation with my family is the same. If you're 12 or younger you're calling me to come over. you're also calling me every week day and up to 7 times if I don't answer. If you're older you're calling to find out what i'm doing. it may seem like variety but it's not. You're calling to give me a list of events to do in Toronto or to find out when I'm going to finish up school or if I have a job or how's the tutoring going and why i'm not starting it now.
The third type of calls i get is from my sister who is here. These are the favor calls. These are the 2nd type to eat up my time. I starting going to Bible Study as a proxy for her. Suddenly I've become indispensable. Now my time is down on Sunday and Wednesday.
Everyone who calls me thinks I don't think about what I do. On the contrary all I do is think about what I'm doing. It's just noone besides me has the complete picture. I've started to wonder if I'm really that likeable or if I just have a really good reputation. I've been in Toronto since the fall. I live with my sister and I don't go anywhere. Intentionally because I don't really have funds to go out. Yes still I've somehow made 4 friends all of whom I haven't seen in a month. So while I'm sure I'd like to sit at home and not wear out the car that's on it's last legs. I have people who expect to see me. People who (for various reasons) i need to see. These aren't always my reasons but they are reasons and I have to account for them.
I'm very very seriously considering lying. Telling the truth is simple and in theory if I'm telling everyone the truth of every question they ask me, the plan is when I say "I'm fine" or "I don't care" i don't have to hear "Are you sure?". I started this almost two years ago now when she moved back home but it hasn't really worked. I just get lectures from Person A on why I should ignore person B, and then lectures from Person C on why I can't ignore Person B and why I need to ignore Person D who is telling me to ignore Person A.
Anyway I'm sorry to write entries just to complain but making time for Persons A, B, C and D means that I haven't had time to read anything for 2 weeks. the only time I've had lately to do anything is after 8 and at that point there's not much to do. Too tired out to read my e-mail, my blogs, my forums, my LJ, facebook, myspace those things all require a good chunk of time and as backed up as I am i keep needing more and more time. Not to mention I was offline entirely for the past 4 days. I've missed so many sweet craigslist deals. Too late now though. It's not even the first week of July and i'm tapped out of funds for three weeks.