Good challenge!
anonymous
July 20 2015, 15:36:45 UTC
I feel like I am struggling a little bit to avoid explicitly stating how a character is feeling, so this was good practice for me.
Tenylen lay on his back in the grass watching the clouds drift lazily overhead. A mass of vapor had swirled into the form of a horse in full stride, but he did not see it pass. His heart beat like a drum at a Parting Days celebration, faster and faster and seemingly out of control. He tried to focus on the wispy formations above, but his mind kept cutting back to one thought: today is his Cerah-lah. Today would decide everything. He felt his clothes growing damp, but could not tell if it was from dew or sweat. He spread his arms wide in the grass and tried to slow his breathing. Normally this spot in the Springtime, after the great melt, was his own personal paradise. A reprieve from his lessons and chores. Today it held no magic, and realizing that caused a fresh wave of panic to flow through him.
Convertible Rideext_3234461July 20 2015, 15:51:06 UTC
We speed down the highway and the wind whips my hair while the sun beats down on my face. This is the most gorgeous day and the scenery is even more breathtaking than I remembered. I settle back in my seat with a sigh of contentment and let the sun wash over me. Then, the song comes on the radio and I freeze. My breath comes in ragged gulps as I struggle to control it. The grief rolls over me in waves and I start to feel sick. Tears stream down my face and I turn to look to the side so my friends won't see. This road and this song combine to bring back memories of a time a few years back. Every whip of the breeze brings another bout of pain. My chest feels tight and I work hard to contain the scream that wants to break out of me. It is in these small moments that I miss him the most. The song blasts on and a picture forms in my head of that day so much like this one. He turns to me and grins, cranking the knob on the stereo until we have to scream to hear each other. We cruise down the street in silence, drinking in our surroundings
( ... )
I have tried to post twice--hope this works--Gloria Johnson
anonymous
July 20 2015, 15:52:11 UTC
She did it! The high heels and red lipstick must have convinced the manager that she was 16! As Jody stepped out from Woolworth’s in the light rain she was ready to dance forgetting that Donna’s shoes were two sizes too big! She skipped, lost a shoe, sang a loud song and slowly made her way to the bus stop. As she turned the corner she looked up to see five or six large umbrellas dwarfing people waiting for the bus. Jody turned down several offers of cover. The late bus was giving her another chance to look to the heavens and shout, “Thank you! I am free!”
Re: I have tried to post twice--hope this works--Gloria Johnson
anonymous
July 20 2015, 17:08:40 UTC
Thanks. This takes place two days after she was kicked out of her house the day of her eighth-grade graduation. Lastweek I put her in the scene with "Dogs running lose." Your Monday Morning warm-ups are helping me to get so many ideas that have just been in my head.
Lying in the Grassext_3216639July 20 2015, 16:04:13 UTC
Thank you for this prompt! I did something similar to Amy's flipping exercise last Friday and wrote one description with the expected feelings and then tried to flip the emotion like you suggested. Here's what I ended up with:
She lowered herself hesitantly onto her back and stretched out her legs. Each blade of grass stabbed at her skin, fighting against her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. The summer was almost over but she hadn't spent any time in the yard. She slowly opened her eyes and peered up into the clouds as they tracked across the sky. Her eyes darted from one to the next. Nothing. It had never been this hard. Just as she was about to give up, she saw it. Her heart jumped into her throat. "Dad! A squirrel! See it?" She waited for his response. Nothing. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
Comments 41
Tenylen lay on his back in the grass watching the clouds drift lazily overhead. A mass of vapor had swirled into the form of a horse in full stride, but he did not see it pass. His heart beat like a drum at a Parting Days celebration, faster and faster and seemingly out of control. He tried to focus on the wispy formations above, but his mind kept cutting back to one thought: today is his Cerah-lah. Today would decide everything. He felt his clothes growing damp, but could not tell if it was from dew or sweat. He spread his arms wide in the grass and tried to slow his breathing. Normally this spot in the Springtime, after the great melt, was his own personal paradise. A reprieve from his lessons and chores. Today it held no magic, and realizing that caused a fresh wave of panic to flow through him.
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She lowered herself hesitantly onto her back and stretched out her legs. Each blade of grass stabbed at her skin, fighting against her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. The summer was almost over but she hadn't spent any time in the yard. She slowly opened her eyes and peered up into the clouds as they tracked across the sky. Her eyes darted from one to the next. Nothing. It had never been this hard. Just as she was about to give up, she saw it. Her heart jumped into her throat.
"Dad! A squirrel! See it?"
She waited for his response. Nothing. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
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So sad. I like the stabbing grass!
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