Jo, thank you so much for our weekly Monday Morning Warm-ups. This month has been so rewarding to me, thank you for taking the time with all of us. For my main character, Frankie, her joy is Alex. This is one of her first encounters with him when they were in high school
( ... )
Bailey Excited to Build With Dadext_4182957July 31 2017, 21:09:29 UTC
Hi Jo, Thanks for sharing these Monday morning warm ups. I'll miss Teachers Write. I'm so glad I took the time to participate this summer. Here is Bailey excited to get to work building a model with his dad. I'm not sure I showed his joy, or how else to add to it. Anyway...
Now, dinner was finished, Dad was home and ready to work on the model, and Bailey was itching to get going. “Dad, will you get the glue sticks? Mom had them in a bag from Michael’s. I’ll get the glue gun.” “OK, Mo, I’m going.” “Do you want some chips? We can make a little snack tray before we get started. I’ll get some juice.” “And some Oreos?” “Yes, Oreos! What else do we need? I have the papers you printed out with the pictures of the Curiosity. Do you have the x-acto knife, Dad? Will you bring it? And extra blades.” “OK, OK, slow down, Champ, I can hardly keep up with you.” “I just can’t wait to figure out how to create the Rover. Dad, thank you for coming home tonight to help me.”
Re: Bailey Excited to Build With DadjbknowlesJuly 31 2017, 22:03:40 UTC
This is a great start! I think to show joy you could describe Baily's movements a bit more. Maybe he's hopping around excitedly, for example, or can't sit still. Just a thought! Thanks for sharing! :)
Re: Bailey Excited to Build With Dadext_4182957August 1 2017, 16:43:38 UTC
Right! Thank you, Jo. That helps. I knew it was only dialogue. I sometimes forget I have a whole toolbox of things I can write! I appreciate your feedback.
Question about heavy-handed writing
anonymous
July 31 2017, 23:44:14 UTC
Far past Monday morning and feeling heavy-handed, so going to put a question out there if it's not too late for someone to answer. I don' expect Jo to spend her whole day checking posts. Question: do you usually stay with the first name of a character from first draft to final? Although I'm not ready to share the first run of what I started today, I was depicting a classroom with a teacher who finds renewed energy after great personal loss through the joy she discovers with a new challenge presented to her with a new group of students who some might consider too challenging or a lost cause to teach in a "regular" classroom. So what did I do? Dubbed her Mrs. Knight, partly to remind myself as I write, to focus on her turn from negativity to joy. Instead of helping, it seems to drag me down in my writing -- probably because I was focusing on the minutiae instead of interesting ways to depict joyful interaction.
Re: Question about heavy-handed writingjbknowlesAugust 1 2017, 20:42:10 UTC
I think it's fine to change names! I often do this. You don't want to be TOO obvious with names that have double meanings. But if it helps you in drafting to have such names, go for it! Just try not to get too attached :)
First time in Philly
anonymous
August 1 2017, 00:47:33 UTC
As I walked down Market Street, I noticed a rising edifice ahead. I stopped and stared. It was breathtaking. I had to know what this marvelous building was - its purpose, its meaning in life. I rushed to take a picture of the statues and the spire that rose high above the city. I walked to the intersection, where I bounced on my toes, impatient for that horrible hand to go away so I can better view this magnificent structure. As I finally reached the facade, I was in awe over the architecture and the massive gates. I passed through the gates and marveled at the marble and coffered ceilings. I passed through, only to discover other delights in the form of a courtyard formed by this beautiful building and its clock tower, which I had not seen from the street. I began to explore the various sides of the courtyard, the picturesque beauty made even lovelier by an elderly man playing a sad melody on his violin. As I spun in circles, taking pictures and videos with my camera, I was informed by two locals that it was “even nicer on the other
( ... )
Comments 44
Reply
Reply
Thanks for sharing these Monday morning warm ups. I'll miss Teachers Write. I'm so glad I took the time to participate this summer. Here is Bailey excited to get to work building a model with his dad. I'm not sure I showed his joy, or how else to add to it. Anyway...
Now, dinner was finished, Dad was home and ready to work on the model, and Bailey was itching to get going.
“Dad, will you get the glue sticks? Mom had them in a bag from Michael’s. I’ll get the glue gun.”
“OK, Mo, I’m going.”
“Do you want some chips? We can make a little snack tray before we get started. I’ll get some juice.”
“And some Oreos?”
“Yes, Oreos! What else do we need? I have the papers you printed out with the pictures of the Curiosity. Do you have the x-acto knife, Dad? Will you bring it? And extra blades.”
“OK, OK, slow down, Champ, I can hardly keep up with you.”
“I just can’t wait to figure out how to create the Rover. Dad, thank you for coming home tonight to help me.”
Reply
Reply
Reply
Question: do you usually stay with the first name of a character from first draft to final?
Although I'm not ready to share the first run of what I started today, I was depicting a classroom with a teacher who finds renewed energy after great personal loss through the joy she discovers with a new challenge presented to her with a new group of students who some might consider too challenging or a lost cause to teach in a "regular" classroom. So what did I do? Dubbed her Mrs. Knight, partly to remind myself as I write, to focus on her turn from negativity to joy. Instead of helping, it seems to drag me down in my writing -- probably because I was focusing on the minutiae instead of interesting ways to depict joyful interaction.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment