Generation Kill - 1x01 - Get Some
Welcome to Generation Kill. An HBO 7-Part Mini-Series about the First Reconnaissance Marines that went into Iraq back in 2003. I'm banking on you never hearing of this show, due to the fact that HBO did a shotty job of promoting it. However, if you're going to have a war show...at least allow it to be pretty...and, frankly this one is.
I could bribe you with a lot of things to get you to watch this show. So allow me to begin:
One: It's based on true events. The book Generation Kill was written by Evan Wright, a Rolling Stone journalist who was placed with these Marines. This is his recount of what happened. It's not glorified, and these men (with the exception of maybe Fick and Iceman) were not glorified. There are "fuck-ups" and there is coarse language. It adds to the fun.
Two: There are vampires. Now, I understand that that seems to take away from my first statement. For those of you who never watched Generation Kill (which I'm pretty sure is a vast majority of the population) the show features Kellan Lutz and Alexander Skarsgard. Most recently, they've appeared in Twilight and True Blood respectively. Yes, I will bribe you with sparkle-motion vampires, and sheriff's of area five. I have no shame.
Three: It's shot beautifully. The show itself is an amazing achievement in cinematography. Honestly, to be able to make combat look at good as this does you have to be doing something correctly. Also, the show is shot documentary style. It adds an edge I promise.
Four: Did I mention boys in uniform? Yeah, I'm a sucker for boys in uniform (or tuxedos, or suits, or, hell, just looking nice) so that adds to the appeal. Granted, most of these guys are wearing MOPP suits but that's beside the point. We're talking Marines here. MARINES. They are some messed up people, and I love them.
Five: Additionally, we have attractive people. Most of the show is actors, but not all Rudy Reyes (who is a character all his own) plays himself. Otherwise we have Stark Sands, Kellan Lutz, James Ransone, and Alexander Skarsgard to even out the pack. This is just the tip of the iceberg too. You heard me correctly. Don't worry if none of these names sound familiar, that was the intent when they were hiring people. They wanted relative unknowns.
Is five enough? I could go on but let's see if five is enough. Welcome to Generation Kill:
Gratuitous war open sequence. I think it's a fair assessment that this really sets up the rest of the show. Yes, these two images set it up. Why? Because the first three people we see embody their characters within the first several seconds.
Meet Sgt. Brad "Iceman" Colbert, Ray Person, and Trombley. You're in their Humvee. You'll grow to love them. In fact, "Iceman" will pretty much keep this general expression throughout the duration of the show, Person will rarely shut up, and Trombley will continue to be the pesky child. Yes, it's like a family road-trip and it's awesome.
I'm going to be helpful and name people, but when the show first starts you're just thrown into the madness. Names? You won't know them. We've got an ensemble cast and they call people by nicknames that you might not always get right away. Besides the fact that a lot of time these guys are in uniform and if they're in full-blown MOPP suits (gas masks included) you can't tell the difference between them. It's a little overwhelming at first, but then you feel like the reporter, who didn't know anyone either.
Back at Camp Mathilda:
We have men in tents. Practicing their skills and napping. I promised a sparkle-motion vampire so I guess I better deliver:
It encompasses all of five-seconds. I'm moving on.
Greetings from Lt. Fick. You'll find I have an affinity for Lt. Fick (and Colbert and ironically Fick and Colbert together because they have some serious eye-fucking but really I should get back to the story) and will praise him. This would be the reason I'm reading his book One Bullet Away but I am way off track now. BACK TO THE STORY.
I didn't add that this show had humor. This particular platoon had gotten word that J.Lo (yes, that J.Lo...Jenny from the Block J.Lo) was dead.
RAY:[...] I was referring to J.Lo being dead.
[intense moments of eye gazing]
FICK: Ray, the batallion commander offered no sit-rep as to J-Lo's status.
Let's have some epic moments in Generation Kill awesome:
Example A: it's mail day at Camp Mathilda and grade-school kids have sent letters. Que Person's extemporaneous letter to a child who had the misfortune of sending Person a letter.
PERSON: Dear Frederick, Thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a US Marine who was born to kill, whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping, Communist, dick-suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving, bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole, Freddy. War is the motherfucking answer.
ESPERA: But thanks for writing, anyway.
PERSON: Aww, man, every motherfucker in this camp is just waiting for packages of dip, Ripped Fuel, porn mags, batteries, hash chunks, dirty-ass jerk-off letter from Suzy Rottencrotch, except for Brad Colbert over here, who actually thinks that his mail-order turret is gonna come in before we step off. But no, all we get is this happy-day fucking horseshit from Miss Cunt Lips' fourth grade class. Can you fucking believe this shit?
Example B: grooming standards are enforced (including animated gif!).
SGT. MAJ. SIXTA: POLICE THAT MUSTACHE!
For reference, they have a mustache contest going on and Pappy's mustache hairs are going beyond his mouth. He is informed, by a fellow Marine, that that "Hitler-stache" is the way to go. During this scene, that same gentleman walks behind Sgt. Maj. Sixta...hilarity (on my part) ensues:
Example C: where a catastrophic failure occurs with the espresso maker. (Also known as an excuse for me to post an excessive amount of Alexander Skarsgard photos.)
COLBERT: Let me understand this. My RTO has just been burned, in his tent, by an exploding portable stove. And without my RTO I will be going to war unable to quickly and effectively establish radio communications - within our unit, with other elements of the battalion, and with close air-support. Is this what is happening?
ESPERA: That and they're probably gonna NJP all our asses for operating a stove in the tent against the regs.
COLBERT: Over an espresso-maker. This platoon is going down over an espresso-maker.
Example D: when they collect things from the post exchange store, only to end with a classic moment from Person.
EVAN "ROLLING STONE" WRIGHT: AAA batteries, dip, Skoal, Copenhagen, baby wipes, flavored Pringles in a can, and adult diapers. As requested. Why do you need me to get all of this stuff?
COLBERT: In the infinite wisdom to whoever runs the military post exchange store, they won't sell this stuff in quantity to military personnel. But, for civilians like yourself, the sky is the limit.
WRIGHT: And why is that?
PERSON To Keep us angry. If Marines could get what they needed when they needed it we would be happy and wouldn't ready to kill people all of the time. The Marine Corps is like America's Pitbull. They beat us, mistreat us and every once in awhile, they let us out to attack someone.
[...][Person goes onto to explain that the Marines put the money into the Humvees only then to slide on his sunglasses and say]
PERSON: We pimpin'
More sparkle vampire for no reason at all:
Personal side note, he looks like Donkey Kong to me in the second picture. I'm not sure why this is...
Random shot of Lt. Fick (played by Stark Sands) looking young (12??) and impressionable:
And now I provide you with extra special moments of awesome:
PERSON: You know, it doesn't make you gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot. Jesus, you're beautiful.
RUDY: Actually, I'm going to hell out here. Back home, all I eat is sushi and vegetables. The nutrition here is garbage. You know, I think Sheree and I are gonna move to San Francisco. There are no fat people there.
[...]
MANIMAL: Rudy, why would you give a fuck if there's fat people where you live?
RUDY: Brother, I wanna live where people care about themselves.
COLBERT: Jesus Christ, Rudy. When are you gonna realize that you're fucking gay?
RUDY: I'm not gay.
COLBERT ...were on libo, you were in Banana Republic, daisy-duke shorts. Now you're rolling into battle in a goddamn chicken suit and J.Lo glasses. You're dressed like a pimp queen.
RUDY: I don't dress like no goddamn pimp queen. I wear clothes that are body conscious.
-----
COLBERT: We're getting ready to invade a country and this is what our leader offers us: mustaches.
FICK: I trust you, Brad, to keep your personal feelings to yourself.
[Later in the episode.]
FICK: We've lost our armor escort. We get no ass going over the LOD, that's a low priority to pass on?
COLBERT: Personal feelings, sir.
It has only just begun. Expect more photos and commentary from the next six episodes later. ;)
I could bribe you with a lot of things to get you to watch this show. So allow me to begin:
One: It's based on true events. The book Generation Kill was written by Evan Wright, a Rolling Stone journalist who was placed with these Marines. This is his recount of what happened. It's not glorified, and these men (with the exception of maybe Fick and Iceman) were not glorified. There are "fuck-ups" and there is coarse language. It adds to the fun.
Two: There are vampires. Now, I understand that that seems to take away from my first statement. For those of you who never watched Generation Kill (which I'm pretty sure is a vast majority of the population) the show features Kellan Lutz and Alexander Skarsgard. Most recently, they've appeared in Twilight and True Blood respectively. Yes, I will bribe you with sparkle-motion vampires, and sheriff's of area five. I have no shame.
Three: It's shot beautifully. The show itself is an amazing achievement in cinematography. Honestly, to be able to make combat look at good as this does you have to be doing something correctly. Also, the show is shot documentary style. It adds an edge I promise.
Four: Did I mention boys in uniform? Yeah, I'm a sucker for boys in uniform (or tuxedos, or suits, or, hell, just looking nice) so that adds to the appeal. Granted, most of these guys are wearing MOPP suits but that's beside the point. We're talking Marines here. MARINES. They are some messed up people, and I love them.
Five: Additionally, we have attractive people. Most of the show is actors, but not all Rudy Reyes (who is a character all his own) plays himself. Otherwise we have Stark Sands, Kellan Lutz, James Ransone, and Alexander Skarsgard to even out the pack. This is just the tip of the iceberg too. You heard me correctly. Don't worry if none of these names sound familiar, that was the intent when they were hiring people. They wanted relative unknowns.
Is five enough? I could go on but let's see if five is enough. Welcome to Generation Kill:
Gratuitous war open sequence. I think it's a fair assessment that this really sets up the rest of the show. Yes, these two images set it up. Why? Because the first three people we see embody their characters within the first several seconds.
Meet Sgt. Brad "Iceman" Colbert, Ray Person, and Trombley. You're in their Humvee. You'll grow to love them. In fact, "Iceman" will pretty much keep this general expression throughout the duration of the show, Person will rarely shut up, and Trombley will continue to be the pesky child. Yes, it's like a family road-trip and it's awesome.
I'm going to be helpful and name people, but when the show first starts you're just thrown into the madness. Names? You won't know them. We've got an ensemble cast and they call people by nicknames that you might not always get right away. Besides the fact that a lot of time these guys are in uniform and if they're in full-blown MOPP suits (gas masks included) you can't tell the difference between them. It's a little overwhelming at first, but then you feel like the reporter, who didn't know anyone either.
Back at Camp Mathilda:
We have men in tents. Practicing their skills and napping. I promised a sparkle-motion vampire so I guess I better deliver:
It encompasses all of five-seconds. I'm moving on.
Greetings from Lt. Fick. You'll find I have an affinity for Lt. Fick (and Colbert and ironically Fick and Colbert together because they have some serious eye-fucking but really I should get back to the story) and will praise him. This would be the reason I'm reading his book One Bullet Away but I am way off track now. BACK TO THE STORY.
I didn't add that this show had humor. This particular platoon had gotten word that J.Lo (yes, that J.Lo...Jenny from the Block J.Lo) was dead.
RAY:[...] I was referring to J.Lo being dead.
[intense moments of eye gazing]
FICK: Ray, the batallion commander offered no sit-rep as to J-Lo's status.
Let's have some epic moments in Generation Kill awesome:
Example A: it's mail day at Camp Mathilda and grade-school kids have sent letters. Que Person's extemporaneous letter to a child who had the misfortune of sending Person a letter.
PERSON: Dear Frederick, Thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a US Marine who was born to kill, whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping, Communist, dick-suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving, bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole, Freddy. War is the motherfucking answer.
ESPERA: But thanks for writing, anyway.
PERSON: Aww, man, every motherfucker in this camp is just waiting for packages of dip, Ripped Fuel, porn mags, batteries, hash chunks, dirty-ass jerk-off letter from Suzy Rottencrotch, except for Brad Colbert over here, who actually thinks that his mail-order turret is gonna come in before we step off. But no, all we get is this happy-day fucking horseshit from Miss Cunt Lips' fourth grade class. Can you fucking believe this shit?
Example B: grooming standards are enforced (including animated gif!).
SGT. MAJ. SIXTA: POLICE THAT MUSTACHE!
For reference, they have a mustache contest going on and Pappy's mustache hairs are going beyond his mouth. He is informed, by a fellow Marine, that that "Hitler-stache" is the way to go. During this scene, that same gentleman walks behind Sgt. Maj. Sixta...hilarity (on my part) ensues:
Example C: where a catastrophic failure occurs with the espresso maker. (Also known as an excuse for me to post an excessive amount of Alexander Skarsgard photos.)
COLBERT: Let me understand this. My RTO has just been burned, in his tent, by an exploding portable stove. And without my RTO I will be going to war unable to quickly and effectively establish radio communications - within our unit, with other elements of the battalion, and with close air-support. Is this what is happening?
ESPERA: That and they're probably gonna NJP all our asses for operating a stove in the tent against the regs.
COLBERT: Over an espresso-maker. This platoon is going down over an espresso-maker.
Example D: when they collect things from the post exchange store, only to end with a classic moment from Person.
EVAN "ROLLING STONE" WRIGHT: AAA batteries, dip, Skoal, Copenhagen, baby wipes, flavored Pringles in a can, and adult diapers. As requested. Why do you need me to get all of this stuff?
COLBERT: In the infinite wisdom to whoever runs the military post exchange store, they won't sell this stuff in quantity to military personnel. But, for civilians like yourself, the sky is the limit.
WRIGHT: And why is that?
PERSON To Keep us angry. If Marines could get what they needed when they needed it we would be happy and wouldn't ready to kill people all of the time. The Marine Corps is like America's Pitbull. They beat us, mistreat us and every once in awhile, they let us out to attack someone.
[...][Person goes onto to explain that the Marines put the money into the Humvees only then to slide on his sunglasses and say]
PERSON: We pimpin'
More sparkle vampire for no reason at all:
Personal side note, he looks like Donkey Kong to me in the second picture. I'm not sure why this is...
Random shot of Lt. Fick (played by Stark Sands) looking young (12??) and impressionable:
And now I provide you with extra special moments of awesome:
PERSON: You know, it doesn't make you gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot. Jesus, you're beautiful.
RUDY: Actually, I'm going to hell out here. Back home, all I eat is sushi and vegetables. The nutrition here is garbage. You know, I think Sheree and I are gonna move to San Francisco. There are no fat people there.
[...]
MANIMAL: Rudy, why would you give a fuck if there's fat people where you live?
RUDY: Brother, I wanna live where people care about themselves.
COLBERT: Jesus Christ, Rudy. When are you gonna realize that you're fucking gay?
RUDY: I'm not gay.
COLBERT ...were on libo, you were in Banana Republic, daisy-duke shorts. Now you're rolling into battle in a goddamn chicken suit and J.Lo glasses. You're dressed like a pimp queen.
RUDY: I don't dress like no goddamn pimp queen. I wear clothes that are body conscious.
-----
COLBERT: We're getting ready to invade a country and this is what our leader offers us: mustaches.
FICK: I trust you, Brad, to keep your personal feelings to yourself.
[Later in the episode.]
FICK: We've lost our armor escort. We get no ass going over the LOD, that's a low priority to pass on?
COLBERT: Personal feelings, sir.
It has only just begun. Expect more photos and commentary from the next six episodes later. ;)