You will hate me!!!

[jbwillia]

Allow me to be frank at the commencement:
you will not like me.
No, I say you will not.
The gentlemen will be envious and
the ladies will be repelled.
You will not like me now and
you will like me a good deal less as we go on.
Oh yes, I shall do things you will like.
You will say “That was a noble impulse in him” or
“He played a brave part there” but
do not warm to me, it will not serve.
What I require is not your affection but your attention.
Now. Ladies. An announcement.
I am up for it.
All the time.
That’s not a boast.
Or an opinion.
It is bone hard medical fact.
I put it around, d’y know?
And you will watch me putting it around and sigh for it. Don’t.
It is a deal of trouble for you and
you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance
than you would be if I got my tarse pointing up your petticoats.
Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well.
When the mood is on me.
And the same warning applies.
Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say.
But later, when you shag - and later you will shag,
I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down;
I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads.
Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder.
“Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed?
Did he know something more profound?.
That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme
certainly no protestations of modesty,
you were not expecting that I trust.
I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and
I do not want you to like me.
- Johnny Depp, Libertine