Comments | jcarwen: parenting - the beginnings of perspective

jcarwen

parenting - the beginnings of perspective

Jul 24, 2009 14:30

About a week ago I spent some time looking through pictures of Sagan on flickr from the beginning til now. It was a powerful experience because it really brought home how far we've come and how amazing the ride has been - and also how fucking hard it was in the beginning. There was so much joy and awe, but the work was constant and I was constantly ( Read more... )

mamahood

Comments 10

arielmeow July 24 2009, 22:01:45 UTC

You are mama, and hear you ROAR! You are awesome at it, as evidenced by your child's happiness and love for everyone in his life. And I am so happy to read this post. I love you.

lolarennt July 25 2009, 02:09:04 UTC

i could have written this exact entry almost word for word. :)

lolarennt July 25 2009, 02:11:34 UTC

oh, except for the wanting another baby/daughter part. brian & i both have decided long ago that carter is going to be our only child (i'm pretty sure we knew this even when i was pregnant). as much as i loved every second of pregnancy, and had the most powerful birthing experience, i just couldn't imagine a 2nd baby to care for---some for my own personal reasons, and all the other reasons are the same as the ones you listed above.

arielmeadow July 25 2009, 16:50:50 UTC

TMI/personal question: if you make the official choice to only have one child, what are you thinking about doing for birth control? I think my favorite idea is Dawn's suggestion of "insurance deposit at the sperm bank* and vasectomy," although it doesn't make sense for us given my fertility deficiencies. (I'm considering just have my one remaining maybe-doesn't-work-anyway tube tied.) Curious what you guys are thinking about this.

*Just in case you change your mind or some unforeseeable change happens.

jcarwen July 25 2009, 21:28:30 UTC

I got an IUD a few months after Sagan was born and so far that's been working out fine. We haven't yet given any thought to more permanent solutions. I guess a vasectomy would probably make the most sense, though I'm not exactly sure how Ben feels about that!

timifur July 25 2009, 23:27:56 UTC

in midst of workshop so basically bullet points here, but just wanted to speak up on tying tubes and vasectomies from (of course) chinese medical perspective. esp for the girls, this is a great blockage of qi. you've already got qi and phlegm stagnation and i wouldn't contribute more to it from a general health perspective. vasectomy also blocks flow of qi, but i (perhaps selfishly as a woman) feel that it's a lesser evil. smaller, less damaging in my mind. but also possibility of complications. i do like dawn's suggestion because you really just don't know what's going to happen.
lots of women love their IUDs, but lots hate them too and have all sorts of complications (mostly painful or heavy menses).
joriel, you are indeed a wonderful natural mama.

karamaia July 27 2009, 07:02:36 UTC

You do rock mama. I also really feel everything you said. My only baby boy was a handful as a babe, never let me put him down, nursed all night for two years, projectile vomiting when a babe. However, it's all so worth it, and it does get better, and I'm glad Sagan is doing great. I know that you guys have been awesome parents - and don't all new parents feel like - what? who left me responsible for this tiny human???? at least at the very beginning ( ... )

timifur July 27 2009, 15:43:53 UTC

yes, they are reversible, but the rate of success is actually really low. it's funny, because most of the men i know who've tried have succeeded. but the statistics say otherwise.
on the plus side, way less invasive from a western perspective than a tubal. there are some concerns about men's health due to vasectomy which i haven't spent much time researching.